He walked slowly away from the cave, his thoughts not truly focused
and his heart still in his throat. He wanted to cry, wanted it so
badly but could not muster any tears. There would be no one to mourn
the boy, no one but him. HE knew that Xavier and the others who sent
him here would not mourn him. They would regret what had to be done,
of course, but that is not the same. Then again, they did not have
to do this thing, they did not talk with Justin, hear his story, feel
his regret, his fear and at last, his strength. Logan had to give
the boy credit, in the end he accepted his fate better than most
adults would. At least the adults he had come across.

Reaching the path where he had left his bike, he looked up to see
another parked next to it and a figure in under a nearby tree. If
the familiar outline of the person did not give away who had followed
him here, the tell tale scent of spice and sweet burning ozone along
with the ever-present clove cigarette would. He stopped, growling to
himself, feeling the anger building at the recklessness of the young
thief.

"What are ya doin here Gumbo? Logan snapped. "Ya know this
place is
off limits"

Looking up at Logan, Remy took a drag on the cigarette and then stood
up and began to walk towards the only X-man besides Storm he would
ever consider a friend. Trying and failing to muster a smile for
Logan he simply stated:

"Stayed far enough away from de boy, non?" Logan noted a
brief flash
of anger that was quickly swallowed "Remy heard `bout what
they asked
you ta do and thought mebbe you like some company on de ride
home"

Logan thought on that for a long moment not knowing what to think.
He appreciated the company but hated that Remy was witness to the
madness that took place in this town. He hated that he knew what
Logan had to do in that cave. "Ya still should not be here"
Trying
and failing to sound angry, he was just too far beyond expending
emotion at this point. "Enough people have died in this
place." He
gave a last glance over his shoulder and then considered the boy in
front of him.

"How old are ya Cajun?"

Remy looked at Logan and tilted his head to the side as he considered
the question.

" `bout 22 give or take a year, Cher, why?" Remy moved
to light
another cigarette as he was beginning to feel the emotions pouring
off Logan. Sadness, anger, frustration, guilt… they were
becoming
overwhelming and he could barely keep his hands from shaking as he
used his fingertip to light the cigarette.

Taking the cigarette from Remy and placing it to his lips, Logan
considered the young man before him for a moment.

"Ride with me Gumbo, I aint ready to go home yet". He turned
and
mounted his bike, waiting for the Cajun to collect himself and join
him.

Remy shrugged slightly at Logan's move, climbed onto his bike and
followed the older man as he headed off away from Westchester.

Logan stopped at a bar in the city and stalked to a table in the
back, Remy watched as a path was cleared for him. He sighed sadly as
he watched Logan slip into a booth and place his face in his hands.
Remy ordered two beers and walked back to the booth across from his
friend, sliding one of the beers over.

"Thanks, kid" was the muttered response.

They drank in silence. Two beers, then three, after about five Remy
was beginning to feel sick from all the grief and guilt Logan was
projecting. His heart broke for his friend, he had never felt
Logan's emotions so strongly before. The feelings he had for the
man
across from him were becoming more prevalent and he was beginning to
feel protective of the older mutant. He felt he had to say
something. Anything to break this frustrating silence.

"Remy remembers de first time he was asked to steal for
Xavier." Remy
began. "It was `bout a month after he became an X-man."
 

Logan looked at Remy as he continued. " Jus' some data
stored at a
facility in New Jersey. Go alone and tell no one. No need to
involve the team in dis, yes? Jus' place de discs in the locker
at
the train station and take the envelope, yeah? That's a good boy,
here's de key to the locker. Good luck Remy and remember, tell
no
one." Remy took another swallow of beer. " And, until this
moment I
told no one." Logan looked at his companion and gestured for him
to
continue. " Was sent to government labs and offices, military
bases,
hospitals, banks. I retrieved medical records, bank statements and
account passwords, military plans and maps, sealed agendas regarding
mutant affairs and some not regarding mutants at all. Not to mention
some art and antiquities that happened to catch Charles'
fancy."

Remy paused again to light a cigarette. "Don't get me wrong
Cher,
Remy a thief, he got no issue with stealing, it what Remy was raised
for and…" he stated as he gestured to Logan with his cigarette.
"He
do it well." Taking another long pull, he continued.

"Only thing is… X-men don't steal. Its amoral and X-men
don't do
anything …amoral. I know dis `cause it was repeated to me
over and
over and over again by Scott. X-men don't steal, LeBeau, keep
that
in mind at all times." Remy sighed "And, Remy do. Keep it
in mind,
mean. Every time Charles sends me out, Remy think " X-men do not
steal LeBeau."

Remy dropped the cigarette in to the ashtray. " Remy's not
an X-man,
Logan. Never will be. Remy's allowed to wear de uniform and play
with de others as long as he stay in line and do what he's told
to
do, moral or otherwise. And he do it because he believe in the end
justifying the means and he do it because as bad as he is thought of
by the very people he helps protect along with those he fight's
beside, Remy believes in Xavier's dream. But, don't think
for a
moment that he don't want to tell all he knows about de
professor's "other" assignments, the ones Scott, Jean and
the others
will never get. Every time Remy is called a slut or whore because he
rarely sleeps in his own room or because sometimes to get de
information he needs to resort to using de empathy, he wants to tell
dem its all for the cause. Remy has used his body to get what is
necessary for so long now dat he no longer consider it his anymore,
you know? But Remy digress, oui? Remy do what he is told to do and
what is asked of him. He do it without question and without
remorse…"

Remy looked at Logan, the pain clearly evident in his eyes.
"Only
der was remorse. Remorse and regret and fear and self loathing and
the ever present need to shout at all who will listen that it is a
dirty job but someone got to do it, right?!" Logan could only
stare
at the boy across from him as he continued his tirade, wondering how
long this has been building. "Well, fuck dat, Logan. Let
someone
else do the dirty work and shove their self-respect so deep inside
themselves that it gets lost. Remy's tired of being looked at
like
some empty headed bimbo whose sole purpose in life is to get laid by
any and every person who has the misfortune of crossing his path or a
2 bit thief who is looking to steal the Xavier silver. Dey have no
right, no right at all to be so sanctimonious. Dey had no right to
send you here. To ask you to do what you did. Did dey even for one
moment, one second tink of how dis would effect you? No, dey
didn't. Know how I know?

Logan could only shake his head.

"Remy asked. Jus' outright asked dem. Dey fuckin stared at
Remy as
if he was speaking a language dey had never heard. "Wolverine
does
what needs to be done, as do you and as does this team. dis is not
new to him, Wolverine knows dat sacrifices have to be made " Dats
what he said, dat holier than thou son of a bitch. For the good of
the team for the good of us all. Fuck `em. So, Remy say to
himself
dat Wolverine may be able to do this, but did anyone ask Logan if he
could? Since Remy did not think that anyone really tought to ask you,
he figgered he would come and make sure that you, Logan, made it home
safely. Hope you don't mind" Bringing the beer to his lips
he took a
drink as he looked away from the older man.

Logan looked at the young man across from him and a smile began to
play at his lips, not a happy smile by any means but one that
indicated that he understood. That he knew exactly what the boy was
talking about.

"Lets go, kid, I have to report to Chuck and I really want to put
this day behind me. And, no Gumbo, I don't mind that ya tagged
along, just hope the ride home is a bit quieter. Don't feel much
like thinking on this situation and the reasons behind it."

Remy nodded and they moved out of the bar and headed home. As they
pulled into the garage Remy composed himself and tightened his
shields readying his psyche for the onslaught of negative feelings he
was about to encounter. The powers that be will not let his little
jaunt after Logan go unpunished, he just hoped that it would go
quickly.

Logan went to Xavier's office to let him know that his request
was
taken care of. As Logan began to talk about the boy in the cave,
Scott stiffened and the professor raised his hand to silence him.
"
No need to go into detail, Logan, I am sure you handled the situation
with as much kindness as you could and the boy did not suffer.

Logan could feel his anger rising. How could he know if the boy
suffered at all? Of course he suffered. He suffered the loss of his
friends and his family, the girl he loved. He knew he was about to
die and waited calmly for Logan to do "what was necessary".
He
suffered greatly in the few seconds it took for Logan to move to him
and place his hand against his chest, letting his claws enter the
boy, piercing his heart. Logan felt his fear as he held him, telling
him to go, to be with those he loved, that the pain would be gone.
That now it would be all right. No one could know what that boy or
Logan for that matter, felt. Remy was right. Fuck them.
 

Remy found Logan on the dock by the boathouse. The sun was setting
and the night air was beginning to come. Remy looked at the colors
and marveled at how after such an ugly morning the night could be
beginning so beautifully.

"This is twice today ya followed me, Gumbo" Remy looked from
the sky
to the man leaning against the post.

" Oui, but dis time he come wit a proposition, non?" Remy
moved to
sit beside Logan and locked eyes with the older man. " You
hurtin,
Logan. Remy can feel it like heat off a fire. He wants to ask you a
question but he don' wancha to go getting all spooked on me."
 

Remy looked away for a moment and then turned back to look at Logan.

"Well since you dint shoo Remy off, he will take it as a yes to
at
least askin the question. You know that Remy has dis ability to
transfer feelings from him to another person, non? Well, he
can…. he
can take feelings too. Remy mean… he can take feelings from a
person. Not like reading `em. Can take your sad feelings away.
A
little or a lot or all of `em. Remy can't take memories or
nutin but
he can take the pain away. Let Remy do dis for you? Let Remy take
away your pain from this morning. Dis Cajun won't hurt you,
promise,
just want to help."

Logan stared at the boy in front of him and thoughts ran through him
like water through a sieve. He wanted to beat him for asking such a
thing and hold him for the same reason. He wanted to lose all of
these thoughts and emotions and wanted to hold them as well. They
were his emotions, it was his pain. " Why are you wantin to do
this,
Gumbo?"

Remy controlled his fear as best, as he could as he felt the changes
in Logan. When he heard him ask why he felt that it was a good
sign. "Remy tol ya. No one should hurt this bad. Remy can help
take
it away, can do something good. Don' get that chance often, ya
know?" Remy tried to give a little smile.

Logan considered this for a while, weighing the pros and cons of
having the Cajun in his head. He knew Remy could not read his
thoughts, only his emotions, but it did little to relieve his fear.
But the feelings he has now were going to fester, he knew it,
especially after the meeting with Scott and the professor. He could
not let that happen, these people were his family, he could not hate
them. He looked at the young thief again. He liked the Cajun all
right, he was a great drinking buddy and loved to play pool, but
calling him a friend may have been pushing it a bit. Though after
today he may have to rethink that. The boy had followed him, put
himself in harm's way just to make sure Logan made it through the
morning. None of his other "friends" had seen fit to do
this. The
thief thought nothing of it. He thought nothing of being there for a
teammate. Looking back Logan realized that Remy was ALWAYS there for
those who were hurting, or alone, even if it was not noticed. Logan
realized now that Remy had been there for him several times after
missions, waiting in the med lab with him or other team members never
letting anyone suffer alone. That could not be said of the reverse.
He had seen the Cajun stumble into his room, witnessed him sitting on
the Blackbird, head in his hands, sitting alone in the medlab by
himself as Hank patched up whatever needed to be mended. No one was
there for him… cept Storm if she were home. Tears began to form
in
Logan's eyes as he looked at Remy. He didn't know what to
say.

" Ah, sorry, Logan, didn't mean to cause you more pain.
Remy'll
leave ya `lone Cher. You come talk to Remy if ya need to
`k?" Remy
started to rise but was held back by Logan.

"What do ya need me to do, Gumbo, to work this? Its not gonna
hurt
or nothin right"

Remy smiled " Non chere, Remy promise, no pain for you" He
settled
himself behind Logan and leaned the broad shoulders of the older
mutant against his chest, bringing his knees up so that Logan was
almost enveloped by him. Placing his hands on either side of
Logan's
head so he could have the skin to skin contact he needed, he began to
draw out the negative emotions.

Logan gasped and closed his eyes tightly at the invasion but began to
relax as he felt Remy enter his mind. It didn't hurt, as
promised.
Instead he felt calm and warm. He felt a warmth enter his mind a
soft light moving around his thoughts collecting the bad ones and
leaving the good. He felt a familiar tingling at the base of his
skull and stiffened. He felt the anger rise, he felt the burning of
his other half. He didn't think about the wolverine when he
accepted
Remy's offer. He was part of Logan and he did not like Remy
being so
close.

Remy felt Logan go rigid as he moved about in his mind. He felt the
pain receding in Logan, the guilt begin to dissipate. He was about
to pull out when he was grabbed by something. Anger, fear, lust,
stronger here than anywhere in Logan. It was pulling him in but
wanting him out. Remy could not keep the light on in this place. It
didn't want him here. It pulled at him again, more fear, more
anger,
instinct to protect Logan at any cost it was becoming overwhelming.
Remy was becoming dizzy, a headache beginning to form on the front of
his head, he had to get out before he was lost here. He brightened
the light and sent more warmth to Logan. Love, happiness, peace.
More peace and more love. All of the love Remy had for Logan was
emptied into that space. Remy screamed in pain as it was taken from
him and then froze as it was slowly returned. Love, trust, lust it
was flowing back into him. Remy tried to stop it, tried to stop the
flow back but could not bring himself to break the connection.
Finally Logan grabbed Remy's hands and pulled them off of him.

"Fuck, kid ! What the hell did you do??!!"

Remy sat there, eyes closed, head throbbing. //Breath, breath// He
repeated silently to himself. // breathe and open your eyes, its
over its done// Slowly he opened his eyes and looked at Logan.
Speaking in a voice barely above a whisper, he responded to Logan, a
small smile playing at his lips. "Remy tink he jus' met de
wolverine" Remy tried to move but seemed unable to master the
task.

"Jeezus Gumbo, you told me it was not painful, you look like shit
and
I can feel the pain coming off ya in waves. Whyja lie to me"?

"Didn't lie so much as left out details, cher. Was not sure
you
would do it if you thought it would hurt Remy. Jus' a bad
headache
is all. Will be good as new in de mornin, non? Though could use
your help in getting back to de room if you would be so kind."

Logan helped Remy get to his feet and was rewarded with the boy
vomiting at his feet. "Sorry, Logan, guess Remy be a bit more
dizzy
den he thought"

Logan growled softly at the boy and wrapped his arm around his waist,
holding him steady as they made their way back to the mansion. As
they reached the front door Remy fell against him as exhaustion won
over pain. Logan sighed and picked the younger mutant up and carried
him to his room, laying him on his stomach in case he threw up again,
he turned to leave. It was then that he noticed it. The
feeling… or
more to the point the non-feeling. He no longer felt heavy with
guilt, dread, and sadness. He could not say he felt good as not all
of his negative feelings were gone but he felt better, so much
better. He turned to look at the sleeping boy and felt something he
had not felt in a very long time, peace. The animal in him was
quiet, content. He felt whole, no longer split in two. He felt…
human. He walked over to Remy and stroked his hair and bent to
whisper in his ear.

"Thank you Remy. Thank you for giving me my humanity back. You
have
given me a gift I can never repay. You are a true friend, Remy
LeBeau."

Logan looked at the clock… again. 3:15. He couldn't sleep.
He was
playing the day over and over again. He was listening to Remy at the
bar, he was listening to Justin in the cave. He was listening to the
professor and Cyke in the meeting before and after. New anger was
seeping in and he could not let that happen, not so soon after
Remy's
removal of it all. He moved to the floor and began to meditate. He
asked for guidance and instruction. He waited for the answer to come
to him. The answer came and Logan blinked at what it was. He
meditated again. And again, the answer was the same. Shrugging, he
moved from the floor and got dressed. He packed his most precious
belongings and some clothes and began to follow what his heart told
him was the right path. He looked around and realized that this was
the first real home he had. Correction, thought he had. Remy was
right. He was a tool to be used to get the job done regardless of
the cost to himself. With the beast under control now and at rest,
perhaps he can finally begin to live again.

He went to the room across the hall and opened the door. He moved to
the figure still sleeping on the bed and once again thought of how he
could repay the kindness that the boy had given him this night.
Taking a deep breath, he continued to follow what had entered his
heart in his room. Putting his bags down on the floor he leaned over
and gently shook the sleeping form. "Remy… Remy!" One
sleepy eye
opened the eerie red orb glowing in the darkness.
"You awake Rem?"

A whisper barely audible responded " De house best be on fire,
mon
ami, else you gonna have one cranky X-man on your hands."

Logan turned and put on the light causing Remy to squeal and put his
head under the pillows.

"Sorry, Rem but ya gonna need the light to pack" The pillow
slowly
lifted and a very confused Cajun was looking back at him.

"Pack??"

Logan smiled and responded. "Yep, pack. You and me, Gumbo are
leaving this place. I can't stay here any longer after yesterday
and
I'll be damned if I'm leavin ya behind" Remy looked at
Logan for a
moment letting his words sink in. Logan was leaving, that was
something he thought he would never see. He was leaving and wanted
Remy to go with him, that even more of a shock. As the shock slowly
wore off a slow smile played at his lips as he could not believe what
was just demanded of him.

"You want Remy…" Remy's voice dropped to a whisper "
me? to go with
you?"

" I can't stay here now and I can't leave ya here after
what ya told
me earlier. You and me… we don't fit in here not really and
what
they want us to do is like you said, their dirty work. Keeping their
hands clean by dowsing ours in the filth they refuse to touch. I
aint leavin without ya kid. Logan looked away and whispered… We
need you."

Remy nodded knowing that the we meant Logan and the wolverine. He
was a part of them now. He didn't mean to be but he and the
wolverine inadvertently connected and now he craved Remy. He hoped
Logan understood that and Remy did not expect Logan to feel the same
connection but. He supposed that there would be time enough to
discuss it later. He thew back the covers and moved to his closet to
grab his duffel bag. As he packed he realized that all of his
possessions in this room would fit in the bag. He looked at Logan

"Guess some part of me knew I wouldn't be here long"
Logan gave him
a sad smile and helped him pack. Remy left a note for Storm and
closed the door to his room. He helped Logan hook up a trailer to
the jeep and they loaded their bikes onto it. Throwing their bags in
the back of the jeep and making sure they had a tool kit and supplies
for the extended road trip they climbed in and Logan started the
engine. They both gave a final look to the home they had come to
know as they drove out of the gate and in to the coming dawn.

The End

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