*****

He wasn't prepared for all the sounds.

He was prepared for all the smells, salty and
antiseptic, it was always the same. But it was the
noise that froze him in the doorway of the room where
Remy was... resting.

How was he supposed to sleep with that respirator
thumping and hissing? With the monitors beeping and
spewing tapes? With the hum of the IV that was feeding
him... god only knew what.

Remy liked dark and quiet. He liked two pillows, or
better still, he loved to curl up like a kitten with
that soft as down hair tickling Logan's nose. He
pretended to be upset, but the truth was that Logan
couldn't sleep anymore without the scent of his boy
filling his nose. Or the feel of his boy warm and soft
against his side. He needed the weight of that
impossibly soft hair, covering that impossibly sharp
mind, resting over his heart. It grounded him, kept
him in the here and now, kept all the monsters away.

" You can go in you know. You don't have to stand here
in the doorway." Logan jumped at the voice of the
doctor in his ear. When did he sneak up behind him?

" He still isn't breathing on his own?" He asked the
question in a near whisper, then realized with all the
other noises in the room he might have to scream to be
heard.

" The latest labs are still out, I'll know more when
they come back. I want to be sure he can handle it
before I remove the tube. I probably wouldn't be able
to get it back in again if he can't."

Logan nodded, his eyes never leaving his lover. He
took a step closer when Hank placed a large hand on
his shoulder. He felt like an intruder, he wasn't sure
if he was welcome, but the draw of the Cajun was too
strong to resist and soon he was bumped up against the
bed, fighting the urge to climb into it and wrap the
too still body in his arms. He inspected every inch of
the too pale face,running his fingers across soft
lashes, and cheekbones and lips. There was still a
bluish tint to his skin to Logan's eagle eye, and the
forced breaths were too fast for normal sleep. He
stopped fighting the urge and sat beside his boy in
the bed, making sure there was body contact so the kid
could find his way back home.

" Can I sit here? I'm not hurting him?"

Hank's smile was soft and a little sad, " No, you're
fine there." He turned to leave but stopped and looked
back at the older man staring into his young friend's
face. " Logan, talk to him? Tell him it's time to wake
up... Bring my friend back, would you?"

Logan looked hard at the doctor for the first time and
saw a pain and worry that mirrored his own, " I'll do
my best, Blue. I won't ever give up."

He was looking again at the face of his lover, and
Hank felt the first stirrings of real hope. When Logan
said he wouldn't give up, no one, not even his
stubborn young friend had a chance of escaping him. "
Thank you Logan."

As soon as Hank left the room Logan cleared his
throat. Every time he looked at his kid he felt the
need, the tube in his throat was hideous and huge. "
You heard Blue, it's time t' wake up now kiddo."
Nothing changed, but Logan was sure he felt the tiny
room close in a bit. " You know how much I hate it in
here... wake up so we can go to our own room." Our own
room? Did that still exist?
" Damn it Darlin', I still need to welcome y' home...
"

*****

Henry walked slowly beside Charles toward the end of
the hall. The only things down here were the morgue
and the containment cell. You didn't need to use your
imagination to know that things ended here. Bodies of
heroes or villains who fought hard, but not quite hard
enough. Prisoners who tried, but weren't good enough
to escape. Hank shivered as an imagined cold breeze
blew up his back, the ghosts of the past didn't want
the living or the hopeful here.

Charles looked at the blue man beside him and easily
entered his mind, ~ It will all work out in the end
Henry. If Scott is physically ill you will treat him.
If he is mentally ill... I will do all I can to help
him. If there is an alien presence, I will allow you
the opportunity to avenge your friends when the time
is right. ~

Hank looked down at Charles and gave him a stiff
smile, " You read my mind."

Charles laughed out loud at that and some of the
tension between the old friends left. " Are you ready
for this?"

Hank looked ahead at the thick metal door, " No... but
let's do it anyway." He still didn't move and Charles
grabbed his arm, " Henry?"

" What if it's none of the above? What if Scott is
truly infatuated with Logan? There can be no good
outcome for him. I am more sure now that Logan loves
Remy than I have ever been before. And Remy..." A
smile crossed his face, " Remy is like a child set
free in a candy store every time he mentions Logan's
name. He lights up inside."
 
 

The smile faded and Charles became concerned," How is
Remy doing Henry?"

Hank sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, " All his
labs came back within or very close to normal range,
and I was able to remove the breathing tube early this
morning. That's the good news. The bad news, is that
he hasn't regained consciousness. There is no medical
explanation for it. It's up to Remy now, he has to
want to wake up." He looked Charles in the eye, " he
has to want to... and I am not sure that he does."

Charles nodded, he didn't need to be a telepath to
understand the significance of the statement. " I
believe Logan may be able to help with that."

Hank's lips curled into a hint of a smile, " He hasn't
stopped talking to Remy since he arrived in my lab. "

Charles motioned toward the door in front of them,
" Remy is safe for now. Let's find out what we can do
to help Scott."

" I'm right behind you my friend."

*****

Storm watched from the hall as Logan told Remy all
about what he did while Remy was gone.He'd been at it
for twelve straight hours. She noticed that he very
carefully avoided all mention of Scott. The breathing
tube was gone, so where the monitors and most of the
IV's. Remy looked like he was asleep, and Logan was
trying to wake him up.

She paid close attention to the Canadian's body
language and tone of voice. She watched the way Logan
looked at Remy, the way he touched him, the way he
bent to kiss him every once in a while. She heard a
hitch in his voice and carefully took a step closer to
the doorway of the cubicle so she could hear what
Logan had to say.

" You ain't gonna push me away with this silent
treatment, I've seen it before." He stood and paced
around the bed because there was no room to pace
anywhere else. " Come on kid, where's the spitfire and
flame? ... Remember a month or so back, when you
bought the Hummer the morning Warren was going out to
buy his? Damn, you planned that so well! Got delivery
the morning he went to buy it, it was perfect! You
worked so hard to get the timing right, went to six
dealers before you found one that worked."

"Remember stealing Bobby's twinkie box, taking out
the stuffing, replacing it with mustard and getting
them BACK in the package without him noticing anything
was wrong? That was genius! He took a sip of water, "
I know yer mad at me, so tell me! Yell at me damn it!
Scream in any of the ten different languages you
know. Hell, use 'em all I can take it! I deserve it
for bein' a fool! Come on Gumbo, yeah... I called you
Gumbo! Do somethin' about it!"

Storm was about to enter the room when Logan stopped
ranting and sat back down, " Come on Rems, I need ya
to kick my ass, my foot don't reach." He looked up at
Storm and shrugged, soft kind words weren't working,
he tried forcing the Cajun's temper. " Sorry Ro, I-"

A warm hand closed around his wrist, and Logan turned
to find eyes filled with fire. " Kick y' ass...
anytime, OLD man."

"Well ya can't do it layin' there, GUMBO," Logan
returned.

*****

Scott stood when the door opened and Charles and Hank
entered. He'd been given a change of clothes and a
chance to shower and shave.

He looked like the Scott Summers they knew.

" Good morning Sir, Hank."

" Warren would you excuse us?" Charles looked over his
shoulder at the winged X-man.

" Sure. I'll be back later with dinner Slim. "

Scott nodded and watched Warren leave. " So... what
are you going to do to me?"

Charles sighed, always to the point his chosen team
leader. " You will undergo a physical and mental work
up. I will check your mind for any alien forces at
work."

Scott snorted a short laugh, " There's no alien
Professor. For the first time in my life I took a
chance and it didn't work out. I'm not crazy and I'm
not sick." He turned to Hank, " Run every test you
want, you won't find any hidden brain tumors or the
like."

" Why did you attack Remy?" Hanks voice was strained.
He was almost hoping that Scott would be delusional.
This calm collected attitude made him angry.

" Because I saw Logan first! He liked ME first! I
deserved a chance with the man."

"And Jean?" Charles added.

" I loved Jean... maybe I still do. But when she told
me that Logan had a crush on me... I had to try! I had
to experience what it was like with him! "

" You attempted to murder my friend!"

" I knew he wouldn't die! Hell, nothing that should
kill him ever does! He's been poisoned, shot,
electrocuted... he's like a damn roach!"

Charles looked at Hank and entered his mind, ~ He's
as sane as you or I ~

Hank's eyes closed for a fraction of a second and he
growled back ~ I won't let this go unpunished
Charles.~

" It's rude to whisper," Scott said with a sigh. "Let
me go. Let me talk to Logan one more time and I'll
leave. Gambit is fine, I assume. I want to see Logan
and I guess I should talk to Jean. I really didn't
mean to hurt her, I care for her, it's just..."

" Conduct whatever test you feel are necessary Henry.
Scott is to remain here until I see the results."

" Professor!"

Hank took a needle from his bag and called back to
Charles as the door closed, " Send Bishop down
Charles, I may need a strong hand."

*****

Logan tried to hide the smile on his face at seeing
Remy awake, he didn't think the young man would take
it too well. He looked ready to rip Logan to shreds...
and Logan wouldn't have it any other way. " Go on kid,
tell me what's on yer mind."

Remy winced as he looked at Storm and croaked, " You
leave now Stormy, I got a few things t' say an' they
ain' th' kind o' things you should be hearin'."

Storm smiled at the streak of anger, " Yes brother.
Don't do too much damage to Henry's lab."

Remy was as weak as a newborn but the anger he felt
was as strong as a tsunami. " I leave f' a few weeks
an' come back t' find y' bangin' the boss!"

Logan hid his delight at the rage, " He tricked me.
He put on yer clothes, used yer shampoo to hide his
scent"

" He did?" The anger was momentarily replaced by
shock.

" Yes, he did! You know me better than that Cajun! You
know I only got eyes fer fiery redheads... with devil
eyes," he added to make sure Remy completely
understood.

Remy's energy was all but gone. He was fighting at
this point to stay awake. " I ain' done yellin' at you
yet," he croaked.

" That's okay kid, I like sparin' with you." He
reached out and caressed the Cajun's face for the
first time since he woke up. Remy felt a quiver in his
lips when he bent to kiss him on the forehead, " Go to
sleep kid. You can yell at me some more when y' wake
up again."

Remy nodded, but turned into the older man's touch.
There was a small smile playing at the corners of his
mouth as he fell into a deep healing sleep.

*****

Scott stood as the door opened and Jean stepped
inside. "Does he have to stay and hear this?" He
jerked his head toward Bishop who still stood at
attention by the door.

Flames danced in Jean's eyes and curled around her
fingertips, " No, I think I'm more than capable of
keeping you here." She turned to the ever serious
soldier, " You can go Bishop, I'll be alright."

Bishop nodded once, but before he left, " I am more
concerned for Cyclops safety than yours."

Jean chuckled quietly to herself, he had to pick this
moment to make his first joke? She smiled up at the
much larger man, his comment on her abilities was much
needed. She was the Phoenix, she could end a life with
a thought, but the man standing across from her in the
cell held a power over her that was invisible and in
some ways much stronger. " You wanted to see me?"

He motioned to the cot, " Wanna sit?"

She walked to the cot and sat down, she felt like a
school girl instead of a strong, capable woman. " Was
it always a lie?"

He wished he could remove the visor, he wanted her to
understand that he was telling her the truth as best
he could. " Open the link Jean, I need you to
understand that I'm telling you the truth."

The link blinked back to life and Jean waited for him
to tell his story. " I guess I'm a coward at heart,"
he began. " I always knew there was an attraction to
men, but I was too afraid of all the labels to act on
it. It was never really strong, I'm not gay, but I
thought about... things. When I met you those feelings
... I don't know... disappeared. I really, honestly
love you Jean." He started to reach out to hold her
hand but stopped. " Then Logan came along. God, he had
such a presence! I was drawn to him like a moth to
flame, all the old feelings came back. I fantasized, I
dreamed, but we were married and he was always
flirting with you. I just decided that it could never
happen. I cried about it for a while and pushed the
feelings back again. I had you. I LOVED you."

He stood and walked to the bars, " Then the damn ...
sorry... then GAMBIT strolls in with Storm, and within
weeks Logan's all over him! He was skinny and sneaky
and way too smart. I hated him from day one. Logan
came alive when the damn kid showed up, he was more
glorious than ever before! I couldn't stand it! I
thought of him night and day! I dreamed of him, I... I
pretended I was with HIM whenever we were together. I
had to have him... I had too!" He sat back down and
this time he did take her hand, " I still thought it
was impossible until you told me he had a crush on me.
That was it! That was my opening! He wanted me BEFORE
the damn Cajun! I had a chance. So I sent you on the
mission and I made my
move."

She pulled her hand away and stood, " What happens
now?"

The door opened and Hank stood there filling the
doorway with his huge presence, " That will be up to
Remy. Since he woke up, I think it would only be fair
to ask him if he wants to press charges."

Scott sighed, and shook his head. He figured he'd
blown his chances of ever being a part of the team
again, and he could live with that. The Hero gig
wasn't any fun any more. He hoped he still had a shot
at Logan, but if the damn kid was still alive, and
awake now too... " Fine, but I wanna see him standing
in front of me when he makes up his mind."

Logan pushed past Hank, the small room was getting
very crowded, " Give him a day or two... then we'll
BOTH be here. Jeannie may have stopped me from killin'
ya, but that don't mean I gotta like ya anymore." His
voice was a menacing growl, and Hank fought the urge
to place a restraining hand on his chest, but deep
inside, HIS beast was growling in agreement.

Scott's shoulder's fell as the older man spun on his
heels and stalked away, his gamble failed. He lost his
wife, he lost his place on the team, and he lost
Logan. He sat down hard on the bed and dropped his
head into his hands, he wasn't sure what hurt the
worst. " Would you all go away now, there's nothing
more to see here."

Jean waited until Henry was gone and shut the door
again, " Scott?"

He didn't bother looking at her, What?"

She felt like a school girl again, " I... I just want
you to know... " She sat beside him and took hold of
his hand, " I'm not going anywhere Scott."

He turned his face toward her and started to speak,
" Jean-"

" I let you talk uninterrupted, the least you can do
is give me that same courtesy." He nodded and she
began again. " We have been through so much. As a team
and as a couple. We face challenges every week that
would make normal people drop to their knees, cover
their heads and never move again! We've watched
friends and family die in hideous, horrible ways...
but somehow, through all that, even my turning into
the Phoenix, we've found a way to hold on and survive.
That's GOT to mean something! That's GOT to tell you
we weren't a total mistake! Damn it Scott, what I'm
trying to say is that for some reason that I can not
fathom right now, I Still Love You! I do! It's insane
after what you've just done to me, and poor Remy who
never did ANYTHING to you except follow your lead
without flinching or questioning! I Still Love You,
and I won't turn my back on you... unless you ask me
too." She wiped tears of pent up rage and pain and
fear from her face and stood. " If you want to talk
again," she tapped her temple "you know how to get in
touch." Then she wiped at the tears again and walked
away. Her heels clicking on the tiles, and the heavy
door closing turned into suffocating silence and a
chance for Scott to think.

*****

It was two days before Remy had the strength to escape
the Med lab, another before he could make it to the
cell. Hank suggested a chair, but Remy made it very
clear, in Russian Hank thought, that he would walk to
the cell and he would face the man... alone.

Logan had his own opinion of that idea, but Remy still
wasn't quite over his anger at the Canadian, so Logan
raised his hands in defeat and took a step back. He
wasn't about to challenge the Cajun and risk the
outcome. The fights between them were loud at first,
but they talked everything out. Remy still loved him,
there was no doubt about that. He was more than
willing to give the kid some space.

Remy dressed on his soft, faded jeans and the
sweatshirt Cyke wore when... He wouldn't throw it
away. Growing up on the streets had taught him a thing
or two about what was trash. He walked out of his
small bathroom to find Logan seated on the bed. "
Logan, I'm goin' alone."

" I know that kid, I just... what are ya gonna say t'
him?" He felt truly thankful that his young lover
chose to overlook the fact that he was at fault too.

" I'll know when I see him." He swallowed hard, his
throat was still sore from the tube. He looked at
Logan through his bangs and asked quietly, " Maybe we
can sneak out t' Harry's after?"

Logan didn't try to hide the smile those words
produced, " Sure kid, anywhere you want."

" I wan' t' go t' Harry's. I wan' t' sit at that booth
way in th' back... I never did get a proper welcome
home."

Logan stood and pulled his boy close, " I love ya
Rem."

" I love y' too, Logan." He pushed away and looked
hard into the cool blue of his lover's eyes. " I've
done things in my life that 're probably gonna keep me
from ever reachin' Heaven," he whispered. Then he
returned to the willing arms of his lover. " I know a
good thing when I see it. I'm a very good thief, y'
know?"

Logan kissed the side of his neck. He chuckled at the
joke and at the shiver the kiss produced, " yeah...
I've heard that."

Remy kissed his lips, " I'll be back, then we can
start over again, Oui? No more lookin' back?"

" Fresh start sounds good to me Darlin'." Logan
smacked him playfully, " Get goin so we can get
started!"

Remy flashed him a brilliant smile, " I won' be long."
He leaned in and kissed his lover long, and slow. Then
he left for his meeting with Scott.

*****

Bishop didn't hide his surprise when Remy walked in
instead of his replacement, "LeBeau?"

" Relax Bish, you gonna blow a gasket! I need t' talk
t' him alone."

Bishop sighed and looked at the younger man, " Dr.
McCoy told me to expect you to say that. I have orders
to watch you while you are here."

Remy rolled his eyes and let his empathy snake out and
around the larger man's mind. It wasn't hard at all.
" Come on Bish, he's locked up, an' I ain' exactly a
helpless baby."

Bishop thought about it and decided that was all true,

" I will be right outside the door."

" Thanks Bish, I feel safer all ready," he smiled at
the large man. When he was gone, Remy took a deep
breath and opened the door to the room with the cell.
" Hello Cyke."

Scott rose and walked closer to the bars, " Gambit."

Remy looked at his former team leader and couldn't
help but feel sorry for him, He'd fallen so far...
lost everything. " I'm gonna tell 'em t' let y' go."

" Aren't you afraid I'll try to kill you again?"

Remy laughed, " You only got close 'nough las' time
'cause I was drugged. You wouldn' get within fifty
feet of me any other way."

Scott just stared at the arrogant kid, " What about
Logan?"

Remy met his visor, " Logan loves me. And I love him.
I don' got too many people that I love. You try that
shit again... I'll kill y'."

" Get out Gambit."

*****

Scott, I know we can't pretend that this never
happened, but if you ever want to come back..."

" No Sir, I think I've had enough of being a hero. If
you ever need me for anything... well you'll be able
to find me." He picked up his suitcase and got into a
taxi that was waiting outside the front door.

Down at the boathouse, Jean couldn't help the sob that
escaped her as the taxi drove away.
 

To Be Concluded in the Epilogue