Hearts in Shadow 4
 

The weather was finally turning and it hadn't taken
much to coax Logan out of the mansion - full of stir
crazy adolescents - for an afternoon hike.  The sun
was out, falling on the late spring grass and flowers
like a kiss and it had been warm enough that Remy had
been able to take off his coat for the first time this
year.

"W'ats dat one look like to you, cher?"  Remy nudged
Logan in the ribs.  The Canadian shaded his eyes with
a hand and stared up at a fresh blue sky dotted with
clouds the color of milk.

"A cloud."  He said an closed his eyes again.

"Look - cher - dats like a Vespa."

"Uh-hu.  Looks like a cloud."

"Dat one?"

"A cloud."

"Dat - look - dat's like a herd a horses!"

"Looks like a cloud t'me.  Y'got to much damn
imagination."

Remy could hear the grin in the gruff voice.  The
thief rolled onto his side.  Logan was lying flat out
in the grass, face turned to the sun, looking
remarkably content.  The knapsack that had held beer
and roast beef sandwiches was empty; the bread,
lettuce and tomatoes that Logan had refused with a
curled lip in favor of 'just the damn meat' had been
tossed out into the light woodland for the foxes and
insects.

Remy tickled Logan's ear with a long strand of grass,
the Canadian shook his head with a drowsy grunt,
obviously assuming it was some bug.  The thief grinned
and tickled him again, watching the dark eyebrows draw
together in mild annoyance.  Logan rubbed his ear and
ran a hand through his hair then tucked an arm under
his head with a yawn.  Remy went to tease him again
and Logan's hand snapped out, grabbing the thief's
wrist and yanking the lighter man against his side.

"Yer bein' a pest."  Logan growled.  Remy blinked,
worried for a moment, then answered Logan's grin with
one of his own.

"Ain't dat always de case?"

Logan took the grass away from the thief and tucked it
into his mouth.  Remy wrinkled his nose.

"Was gonna kiss you cher but you seem pretty fine wid
dat grass instead of me."

"Ya think so?"  Logan spat the grass out and dragged
Remy's face to his.  The thief rubbed his thumb along
Logan's scruffy jawline, nibbling on the man's tongue.
 Logan hummed low in his throat and shifted, settling
Remy more comfortably on top.  Remy smiled against his
mouth and dug the fingers of his free hand lightly
into the Canadian's ribs - the Canadian's very
*ticklish* ribs.

Logan shouted and bucked but Remy wasn't an X-man for
nothing.  He wrapped himself around the other man,
tickling him fiercely.  Logan thrashed and howled,
whooping curses and laughter and struggled to pry the
long limbed thief off.  Finally, Logan slithered down,
out of Remy's arms and bit his crotch.  Remy froze at
the dull prick of his teeth through the denim of his
jeans.

"Remy wan keep those toys, cher."

Logan growled triumphantly and rubbed his cheek
against the fly of his jeans.  Remy combed his fingers
through the heavy hair, sighing as he got hard.  Logan
was licking him - or licking the crotch of his jeans
anyway.  He felt Logan's fingers unbuttoning him and
smiled up at the sunny sky.  Looked like he'd created
a monster.  Logan had been determinedly catching up on
his blow-job skills ever since Remy had shown him how.
 At least this time it didn't look like Logan was
going to break the zipper on Remy's jeans.

Remy stroked Logan's hair encouragingly and wondered
if the Canadian's taste for giving head was something
the man had known - and forgotten - before.  He
wondered, a lot sometimes, what Logan had forgotten.
Like being raped.  He'd never thought of Logan as a
victim.  If he'd thought of it at all, Remy had put
him in the place of - of the kinds of men who'd hurt
someone else.  Who'd hurt someone like a skinny street
kid.  Remy wondered what other surprises were waiting
for him in Logan's memories.

"You never - done dis?"

"What?"  Logan muttered, tonguing Remy's cock so that
the thief could hardly remember what he'd asked or
why.

"Um.  Suck cock - before you know Remy. "  Remy
paused.  "Creed - he never - ah - made you do dat to
him? Force you?"

Logan jerked away, wiping his mouth.  "He tried.
Once."

Remy propped himself up on his elbows, cock softening
in the open air and rejection.  He tucked himself
away.  "W'at happen?"

Logan glanced at him angrily.  "What the hell ya wanna
know for anyway?"

Remy chewed uneasily on his lip and wished he'd never
started this dangerous conversation.  "Jus wondering.
Sometimes people make you do t'ings - you not want.
Der been times - Remy not want to do dat and - people
- make him."

Logan frowned at him.  "I bit his cock off."

"Mon Dieu!"  Remy flinched, knees jerking together
reflexively.  "He must've to tried to kill you!"

Logan shrugged.

"Cher -"

"Yeah - he tried."  Logan pulled up some grass and
began to shred it, tension pulling his shoulders up.
"I didn't care 'bout that.  Wasn't gonna let the
son-of-a-bitch do that t'me.  Wasn't gonna let no one
do that to me.  He could - c-could hold me down and
fuck me but not - not the other thing."

"Remy let dem."  Remy said softly, running a finger
tip along a long vanished scar.  The thief was too
full of his own pain to focus on Logan's.  "Remy let
dem do - all kinds a t'ing to him."

Logan gave him a sharp, unhappy look.  "You were a kid
and ya wanted ta live.  I was a man and I wanted to
die."

"Remy a coward."  The thief frowned.  "Dat why.  Remy
never tried to - bite anyone's cock.  Too scared."

Logan rolled to his feet with an explosive snort.
"Maybe so.  Maybe ya need t'get y'head outta y'ass and
quit thinking about how crappy *your* life was, kid.
Everyone's got shit to deal with.  You ain't the only
one with memories."

"Logan -?"  Remy sat up as the other man stalked off.
Logan didn't look back.

2
Remy wasn't good at apologies.  Not this kind anyway.
He hesitated outside Logan's door, it was very late,
wondering if he should just let more time go by and
they could pretend to forget.  They could just go on
pretending that Logan didn't have real feelings - like
so many people seemed to believe - that all the things
the Canadian had done and seen didn't affect him.
That he was just some kind of animal in human form.
But Remy was his lover and maybe he'd started fucking
Logan with the idea that he'd be nothing more than
another protector the thief could buy with his body,
but he knew by now that it wasn't so simple.

"Come in if yer goin' to - "  Logan's voice came from
inside.  "otherwise quit hangin' around my door.  I'm
tryin' t'sleep."

Remy slipped in and shut the door.  "Sorry, cher."

"What d'ya want?"

"Remy sorry he being so full of himself."

"If ya don't wanna hear what I got ta say, don't ask
me no more questions."  Logan growled.  "I don't like
talkin' about that crap anyway.  It's all old history,
don't mean nothin'."

"We bo'th know dat ain't true."

Logan only grunted and lay back down.  The thief came
and sat on the side of his bed, stroking the back of
Logan's wrist lightly.  He watched him breathe and
felt the sharp tension in the man's arm.  Logan hadn't
been sleeping.

"I wanted -"  Logan began abruptly then halted.

"What cher."

"I wanted to die so bad."  Logan whispered.  "I spent
a year tryin'.  Everthing I could think of.  Poison.
Bleedin' out.  Hangin'.  Electricity.  Eatin a bullet.
 Everythin'.  An' I lived through it all.  Hell - the
fuckers in the project poured gasoline on me one time
and set me on fire - cause they were fuckin' *bored!*"

"Oh, Dieu - cher.  Logan -"  Remy stretched out and
wrapped his arms around Logan.  He was shaking and
that low, expressionless voice just kept on whispering
atrocities.

"Even when Magneto ripped my fuckin' bones out I
lived."

"You a survivor, Logan."  Remy whispered.  The other
man's pain was breaking his heart and - he didn't'
know what to say.  What to do.  "And you save other
people 'cause you survive."

"I don't want to!"  Logan yelled.  "I don't want to
survive."

He rolled to face Remy, ignoring the tears streaking
the thief's face.  "Do you know how old I am?"

The thief shook his head.

"Yeah, neither do I.  I'm so fucking *jealous* of you
- of all of you.  You can die.  You will die.
Someday, I'll be putting you all in the ground - all
of you - someday it will all be over for you.  You
won't have to fight anymore, won't have to hurt
anymore.  Someday - for you.  But all I've got is
tomorrow and tomorrow and more tomorrows.  More people
dyin' on me.  More pain.  That's all I've got.  That's
gonna go on forever."

Remy reached out and gently wiped the tears trailing
unnoticed down Logan's temples.  "Non.  Dat's not all
you have.  You have all de good days too.  All de days
lyin' in de grass.  All de sweet days too, friends -"

"Friends - "  Logan choked, swallowing a sob.
"Friends that're gonna leave me - I'm so fuckng tired
Remy!  I want - I want a way out.  All of you know -
even if you don't think about it - all of you know
that there's a point where they can't hurt you
anymore.  No matter what happens, there's a way out
for you.  You can escape.  I - could never get away.
No matter what they did.  I could never get away from
them.  Never escape.  I'll never escape."

"Logan - Logan -"  Remy kissed his wet eyes, brushed
his lips along the solid cheekbones, combed his
fingers through the heavy hair, trying to call the man
back out of his past.  Out of the memories.  "Dey don
have you  no more.  You escape and you livin' and you
havin' a life - all de thing de tried to take away
from you - you got away from dem."

"I carry them around everywhere I go - in  my
f-fucking bones!"

"You tol Remy - you got scars.  We all got scars.  Dat
don make you their property.  You getting the best
revenge - you living."

"Remy - Jesus, Remy - "  Logan rolled to press his
face to Remy's shoulder, hiding himself against the
slender thief.  "God - when's it gonna be over?
When's it gonna stop hurtin?"

The thief squeezed him tight, fingers spread over the
wide back as if he could somehow protect Logan from
the pain with his own body.  Logan burrowed his head
into Remy's shoulder and cried.

"Remy got you."  He whispered, rocking the other man
gently.  Logan curled himself up as if he was trying
to hide and the thief spooned himself around Logan, as
if it were possible to hide him. "Remy got you now.
Remy gonna make it stop hurting.  You let Remy take
care of you, cher.  He got you."

Remy nipped the nape of Logan's neck gently.  He
pressed closer to Logan, kissing the back of his neck,
rubbing his chest.

"Feel dat?"  Remy shifted so his cock pressed against
Logan.  He was hard, aching to do something to make
Logan feel better.  "Der all kinds of t'ings to feel.
All kinds of good t'ings.  Remy gonna show you, cher."

"Please -"  Logan whispered.  "Please."

The thief untangled Logan from his blankets and
skinned out of his clothes.  He just held Logan for a
while, stroking him, kissing him, murmuring in his ear
- using his charm to ease the man's despair.  Logan
began to relax finally, getting hard, moving against
him, stroking Remy's back and teasing his nipples.

"Feel good, eh cher?"  Remy whispered in his ear.

"Yeah -"

"Remy gonna keep making you feel good till you forget
everyt'ing else."  The thief sucked up a brief bruise
on the man's neck and rolled his nipples in between
his fingers.

"God - yeah."  Logan grabbed Remy's head and dragged
him up for urgent kisses.  Logan rocked against him,
rolling so Remy was resting on top of him.  Remy,
responding to the restlessness he could feel, gripped
the other man's wrists and pinned them down to the
bed.  Logan groaned and his desire spiked.  "Yeah -
Remy -"

"Wan make you let go for Remy."  The thief whispered
in Logan's ear.  "Gon take care of you.  You trust
Remy, oui?"

Logan paused, breathing heavily, then nodded slowly.
The thief smiled gently and they kissed, slow and
lazy.  He held the man's hands to the mattress,
shifting so their cocks pressed against each other and
they kissed like they were trying to drown in each
other.  Soon, the Canadian had relaxed and stopped
trying to free his hands.  He lay quiet, almost
passive, accepting Remy's probing tongue and gentle
bites with his head thrown back and his heart pounding
against Remy's chest.

"Dat feels good, oui?"  Remy murmured against the
heavy pulse in Logan's neck.  He got an incoherent
reply and licked Logan's throat, tasting stubble and
salt.  He let is mouth wander as far down as Logan's
small, hard nipples, careful to keep a firm grip on
the man's wrists.  Logan groaned and lay under him,
shivers rippling through him at the play of Remy's
clever mouth.

When he leaned carefully back, Logan lay there,
breathing hard and watching Remy from his deep set
glittering eyes.  The thief leaned gracefully over and
fished out the rope from under the bed.  He felt
Logan's breath catch under him and smiled.

The scratchy feel of the nylon make Remy's cock twitch
- and when he began to tie Logan's wrists to the bed
posts, Logan's cock jerked too.  The thief checked the
rope, making sure it was snug and safe from Logan's
claws - he didn't want the man to be able to get free.
 The Canadian remained quiet, watching him and the
oddly shy trust in those hard eyes made Remy swallow
hard and pray to whomever cared that he wouldn't' fuck
this up.

When Logan's arms were stretched out and tied, Remy
bent to kiss the blunt fingers.  "You being real good
for Remy, cher.  Now, Remy going to be real good for
you."

Remy tickled Logan's palm with the tip of his tongue.
The man groaned.  Remy grinned, pleased, and licked
the crease of Logan's elbow.

"Remy - Jesus, Remy."  Logan whispered, shuddering.
That was one of Logan's hot spots and Remy bit him
there.  Logan arched and pulled at the ropes.  Remy
lifted his head, watching the strain in the powerful
arms.  The bed creaked, holding against the ripple of
muscle while yellow rope tightened against Logan's
struggles.  The heady rush of lust, of *power* made
the thief hiss through clenched teeth, red eyes
shining in the late night gloom.  Logan groaned
deeply, arching his body, reveling in the imposed
surrender.

Remy kissed Logan's vulnerable mouth then scratched
his fingernails lightly down the man's sides,
swallowing Logan's startled cry of pleasure.  He
licked the sweat gathered at the hollow of the man's
throat - the skin there was so thin, so delicate it
made Remy ache to bite him.  He did.  Because no one
could stop him.

The thief drew out other groans, soft gasps of breath,
and whispered, frantic curses as he played idly with
Logan's body.  He sucked hard at Logan's nipples,
until the man was practically thrashing under him.
Remy scraped his teeth down his ribs while he teased
Logan's navel with a fingertip.  He replaced a finger
with his tongue, moving to roll the hairy scrotum in
his palms.  Remy grazed a fingertip down Logan's
perineum, nearly bringing the other man off the bed.
Remy chuckled and rubbed his cheek against Logan's
cock.  He kissed the shaft throbbing on Logan's belly
while pressing one hand under the man's leg - thumb
rubbing the soft hollow behind Logan's knee as he
pushed Logan's thighs apart and settled between them.

"Know w'at Remy want cher?"  He murmured against the
head of Logan's cock.  He pressed a fingertip gently
against Logan's anus.  The warm muscle twitched
violently.

"God!"  Logan shouted, twisting.  Remy held him down,
secure in the sharp rush of need he felt from the
other man.  "Remy - god - I'm g-gonna come!"

"Non."  Remy snaked a hand around the base of Logan's
cock and pressed a thumb sharply against the big vein
snaking along the underside of the red shaft.  Logan
howled and yanked hard at the ropes but couldn't stop
him.  Remy grinned down at Logan's stunned face, the
man's cock twitching and softening slightly in his
hand.  "Non.  Remy got you now, cher."

Logan was gasping hard, nostrils wide while
uncertainty and desire chased each other across his
face.  His head jerked in a brief nod, in
acknowledgement, as he looked into Remy's hungry red
and black eyes.  "Yeah."

"Mmmm - cher."  Remy rubbed his face against Logan's,
practically purring with pleasure.  He fisted Logan's
cock gently in his hand, fighting back the sharp
impulse to simply *take* the man.  He could.  Logan
couldn't stop him.  The thief kissed Logan hard,
thrusting his tongue inside his willing mouth while he
rubbed himself against the other man's warm body.  It
wasn't enough but Logan's open willingness - mixed
with the intoxicating tang of nervousness - soothed
the violence of Remy's hunger.  He gentled his touch,
concentrating on Logan and his pleasure.

The Cajun kept Logan distracted while he fished out
the lubricant, sliding down Logan's body to lick his
cock as he squeezed some chilly lube onto his fingers.
 There was no distracting him though, when he stroked
a slippery finger over the tight pucker of Logan's
anus.

"Shit - Remy - ah - ah!"  Logan gasped, flinching
away.  "Fuck - that's cold."

"Warm up soon enough, amoureux."  Remy murmured,
rubbing, circling, massaging the clenched muscle until
he felt a slight yielding.  "Dats right - feel dat.
Feel dat, me touching you der."

Remy's tongue traced the vein pulsing rapidly on
Logan's cock as he slipped a finger inside.

"Ahhh - god!"  Logan groaned loudly, hips lifting,
pecs and biceps bunching as he pulled hard at the
restraining rope.  "Remy!"

"C-cher."  Remy stuttered, squeezing his eyes closed
as he felt just how hot, how tight, Logan was.  His
cock jerked violently, drooling onto the sheets.  Remy
continued to gently work Logan's tight opening as his
breathing got fast and urgent and the *need* to be
inside the other man pounded like a drum in his head.

Hissing through his teeth, Remy pressed deeper, three
fingers in now.  Logan surged and rolled under him -
he'd unconsciously drawn his knees up, offering
himself.  The sight was maddening, the muscles of
Remy's back spasmed, his hips thrust uncontrollably.
He had to have Logan - now.

With shaking hands, Remy slicked his frantic cock.
Logan was watching him with wide, hungry eyes all his
nerves forgotten under aching need.  Remy put a hand
under one of Logan's knees, bringing that leg up and
out.  It left Logan open, displayed and all for him.
Remy's eyes fixed on the glistening opening, exposed
and twitching and he closed a hand hard around the
base of his cock to keep from just exploding right
then.

"Got - Remy got to have you, cher."  He panted, unable
to take his gaze from what he wanted long enough to
glance at Logan's face.  "So beautiful.  Cher - you so
beautiful."

Logan only growled at him, twisting his hips to open
himself up further.  Remy groaned and shifted to press
his cock to that small hole.  The wet, trembling touch
was like a kiss and Remy whined, freezing in place,
hand clenching on his cock and Logan's leg as he
strained to hold on.

"T-tight."  Remy whispered as he pressed slowly in.
Logan was moaning and shuddering under him.  At the
flinch and strained groan from the Canadian, Remy
paused, panting.  He held himself still, partly buried
inside Logan to let the other man adjust.  He didn't
want to but he did anyway.

Logan's eyes were fixed on his face, Remy realized
that he was watching his expression as he sank into
his body.  Remy managed a somewhat strained smile.
Logan grinned back, wickedly, and shifted slightly.
The intense squeeze and shift around his cock made
Remy cry out and lurch forward.  His cock surged past
the tight constriction and he was suddenly, stunningly
buried inside Logan's body.

"Jesus -"  Logan gasped, jerking under him.  Remy was
sprawled on top of Logan's wide body, to shocked at
the incredible grip around his cock to say a word.

He was moving, rocking in and out without thinking,
nearly in tears at the feel of Logan rippling around
him.  "D-dieu - amoreaux.  Cher - Logan - ch-cher -
Remy love you.  Love dis.  Ssso tight.  Hold me so
tight."

Drunk on the feel, Remy thrust, wrapping his hands
around Logan's tense biceps.  The Canadian was
breathing harshly, hips jerking upwards in answer to
each and every thrust of Remy's cock.  The thief
stared blindly at Logan's face, mouth open stupidly,
hips churning with increasing urgency.  He could feel
the pulse and throb and squeeze - feel the echo of
Logan's frantically beating hart in the miraculous
grip on his cock and the sharp pulse of the man's cock
pinned between their bellies.

Logan was already flying, so close to coming that Remy
could practically taste the rush.  The thief lifted
his gaze to the nylon wrapped tightly around Logan's
arms, pinning him down.  The man was so helpless under
Remy; knees spread obscenely wide, white knuckled
hands clinging to the ropes, grunting under the impact
of Remy's hips, body answering to Remy's pleasure.
Remy was the one making him feel like that, making him
cry out, strain and fight and - finally - surrender.
Remy yelled mindlessly, slamming hard and convulsively
into Logan's ass, shrieking again at the violent clamp
of Logan's anus around him and the wet pulse of come
between their bodies.

He sank down onto Logan's heaving chest, shaking to
hard to support himself.  After a blank moment full of
the sounds of two men gasping for breath, Remy reached
to cup his hand against Logan's cheek.  He brushed a
thumb over rough beard and soft lips.  Those lips
moved, kissing him gently.  The thief could feel how
relaxed Logan was now, pain eased and distracted by
pleasure.  Remy closed his eyes, satisfied and rested
his head against Logan's big chest.  The reassuring
sound of Logan's heart soothed him into a doze.

END