Hearts in Shadow

1.
Logan stank. Remy wiggled his cigarette case out of a uniform pocket
and lit up about the same time Logan got his cigar going. They caught
each other's eyes and chuckled wearily.

"Quite the muta't power, non?"

"Next time y'can go rescue the kiddies." Logan grumbled. He grimaced
down at his boots where acidic slime had eaten away the leather to
reveal the steel reinforcements. It had done the same thing to his
flesh and Remy was trying very hard to forget the gleam of metal amid
the wreck and ruin of Logan's hands.

"I'm sorry." The thin, green skinned girl in the seat behind Jean
piped up. "I - I didn't meant to. Get sick I mean. I was scared."

"S'alright kid." Logan leaned across Remy to give the girl a toothy
smile that was only vaguely reassuring. "Everyone gets scared and
everyone pukes now and then. Hell, I remember ol'Fearless there - "

"We're at the school." Scott broke in. "Prepare for landing."

Logan chuckled as Scott dropped the Blackbird a little roughly into the
landing bay, cutting off further conversation.

They all filed out of the X-men's jet, the team and a new student/
refugee for the Academy. Logan made a beeline for the showers, leaving
sticky, foul smelling footprints. Remy trailed after him, eyes
gleaming. Everyone else decided to find somewhere else to clean up.

Logan was in the shower room, still fully dressed, hosing down his
uniform. At least the slime was water soluble. The stink was already
mostly gone. Remy fished a short coil of yellow rope out of his pocket
and dropped his coat at the door, kicking it shut. Walking over to the
other man, he slapped the rope lightly against his leg, catching
Logan's attention.

Logan's expression didn't change much but Remy sensed the rise of
unease, sudden intense lust, curiosity. His dark eyes flicked away
from Remy then back again. "Rem?"

"Turn 'round, homme." Remy dropped his cigarette in the water around
Logan's feet. Pushed firmly on Logan's shoulder when the other man
didn't move. The shorter man resisted, Remy's grip tightened and the
red eyes narrowed. Logan ducked his head and let Remy turn him around.

Breathing carefully, afraid that Logan would suddenly turn on him -
and maybe that was part of the excitement - Remy grabbed Logan's hands
and tied then quickly behind his back. His long fingers hesitated,
stroked across the smooth, flawless skin of Logan's palms. Blood
stained the leather sleeves but their was no sign of injury.

Remy pushed Logan with calculated roughness and the shorter man
stumbled into the white tiled wall.

"Rem?" Logan sounded casual but Remy could feel how he was suddenly
sharply anxious. He shrugged, testing the rope and Remy heard his
breathing quicken - not entirely with desire.

Frustrated, nervous now himself, Remy leaned against Logan's back and
kissed the rough hair. He wanted this. He wanted this - Logan like
this - and now the Canadian was cutting out on him? "Cher - want Remy
stop?"

He didn't want to stop. He wanted to go on. Remy just wanted to take
what Logan had to offer. Didn't want to talk. Didn't want to be kind.
Wanted it to be just about him. But Logan didn't deserve to be treated
like that. Logan wasn't some slut. Remy breathed into the coarse hair
under his chin. The anonymous white tiles were just inches away, Logan
was trapped between his body and the wall. He couldn't get away.
Remy's cock stiffened with painful speed.

"I - no -." Logan sounded hoarse. He scrabbled with his fingers,
dragging them over Remy's crotch. Remy groaned into Logan's hair.

"Remy no stop, den, cher." He said softly. "Remy, he take w'at he
wan."

"Christ - " Logan muttered and rested his head against the tiles,
shutting his eyes.

Remy slid his hand around front and unsnapped Logan's belt, eased his
hand inside the other man's pants and fondled his cock. Logan moved a
little, squirming between the wall and Remy's long body. Remy leaned
harder on him, holding him in place and kept on insistently stroking
him. They both were breathing faster, Logan groaned softly in
unwilling excitement. The sound of it shot straight to Remy's cock and
he ground against Logan's bound hands.

"Squeeze me, cher." Remy instructed hoarsely. Logan's fingers
obediently squeezed his swelling cock. Remy groaned and hitched his
hips. He could feel the ropes, feel how Logan's hands were just at the
right place to touch him - and feel how Logan's cock was stiffening in
his hand. He could make Logan come like this and the other man
couldn't stop him. No one could stop him.

Remy licked Logan's ear, bit him, sucked on his neck. Tasted salt and
heat, tasted Logan. The other man's breath was fast, his eyes tight
shut. But his hands were working between Remy's spread legs and his
cock was throbbing in Remy's fist. So good. Heat building in Logan,
nerves and heat. Uneasy and aching for Remy. All at the same time.

"So good." Remy whispered. "So good for me, cher."

Logan's breathing caught and he struggled suddenly. Grunting, Remy
crushed Logan against the shower tiles, still holding that stiff cock
in his hand. Logan was beginning to leak over Remy's fingers. Logan
groaned and thrust into Remy's fist. Thrust hard, trying to come. The
thief eased his grip, not letting Logan control the pace.

"Y'll come wen Remy want."

"Remy - Remy - " Logan breathed. Desperate. All that muscle and
power, that unyielding strength - all in Remy's hands.

Remy nipped the nape of Logan's neck, smiling as Logan jerked then
arched into the squeeze on his cock. Remy followed the motion,
grinding hard into Logan's hands, aching for more and wanting this to
last forever. He kicked roughly at Logan's boots, forcing the other
man's legs apart so he could press closer and feel Logan's thighs
strain over his own.

Remy unzipped his uniform and eased his cock out. Didn't bother with
anything else. Glanced down, breath catching. Yellow rope was wound
around Logan's heavy wrists, half hidden by the frayed leather sleeves
of his uniform. Two hands, palms out, vulnerable, fingers half curled
and empty. Waiting. The dark sheen of leather across broad, tense
shoulders, a dark head resting against white tiles. Closed eyes and
unexpected long lashes, heavy beard shadow and the sweet heat of
helplessness. Logan wasn't letting him do what he wanted. Logan
couldn't stop him.

Remy leaned back against Logan, pressing his bare cock against those
fingers. Logan, breathing hard, began to work him as best he could
with his bound hands. Remy closed his hands on Logan's shoulders and
thrust slowly, head down, watching Logan's hands with wide eyes. The
tip of his cock brushed against the nylon rope and the almost too rough
scrape made Remy cry out and collapse against Logan. He nearly came,
rubbed himself irresistibly against the rope again. Thrust hard
against Logan, against those warm hands and the hair raising scrape of
the rope across his wet head.

Logan made a small, desperate noise and Remy instinctively reached
around to grab the other man's engorged cock. The depth of Logan's
lust was making Remy ache. He felt the jerk and surge in his hands.
Logan panted, humping uncontrollably into Remy's hands. The Cajun
could feel the unstoppable heat - rising - cresting -. He fucked
himself against Logan's palms, slick with pre-cum, jerking the other
man's cock roughly at the same time.

Logan's voice rose, harsh, echoing against the tiles. His head snapped
back and Remy cried out at the hot spill over his fingers, the
shuddering clench in the broad body trapped next to him. The shudder
and spasm of Logan's hands on his cock set him off - Remy yelled and
sank his teeth into the leather of Logan's coat. Shot all over Logan's
bound hands.

Hard trembling against him as Logan slowly relaxed. Remy slumped
against the Canadian, bracing his hands on the chilly tiles. Logan was
gasping for breath. Remy reached down and fumbled with the sticky
knots on the rope. Freed Logan's hands. Zipped his pants and turned
away. Heart thumping hard with the pure power of it, Remy walked out,
leaving Logan disheveled and dazed behind. He wasn't going to be the
one left to clean up this time.

2.
He didn't know anything was wrong until practice next day. Sauntered
down the hallway, feeling pretty pleased with the world for a change.
The memory of leather and smooth hands had carried him to bed in the
boathouse. Dreamt of Logan's strangled cry of pleasure. Slept good.
Ate.

The attack was a blur of red and white hair, green uniform, rage, guilt
and - jealousy? Remy, gagging as a hand clamped down on his neck,
kicked desperately out at Rogue. Hooked a toe behind her knee, twisted
and dumped her onto the floor. Her iron grip on his throat didn't
falter and Remy was pulled down, clawing at her gloved hands. Tried to
yell. Where was everyone? Vision blurring, Remy heard her screaming
at him.

"Why did you come back? Why are you here? All you do is destroy
everything you touch! Murderer! Bastard!" Rogue lifted him and shook
him like a stray dog. Kicked him in the belly and Remy couldn't even
vomit in her killing grip. "WHY DIDN'T YOU DIE!"

Curses ringing in his ears, Remy fumbled for a card with fingers going
numb from oxygen deprivation. The deck scattered through his twitching
fingers, the suicide king landing face up. There was rushing noise, as
if he was falling - falling - Suddenly, he could breathe again.
Collapsing onto the floor, Remy retched and coughed, gasping for air.
Everyone was yelling at each other. Scott had his arms clamped around
Rogue, holding her away from Remy. Jean was screaming at Rogue,
flushed bright red. Scott, shouting to be heard, was trying to calm
everyone down. Ororo, sparks dancing in her hair, was hauling on his
arm and Remy hurriedly struggled to his feet with an eye to running
like hell out of here. No one could stop Rogue for long.

"I hate you! I hate you, you treacherous bastard!" Rogue was
screaming.

Propped dizzily against the wall, Remy blinked stupidly at her. "W'at
now, cherie?"

Rogue kicked in Scott's grip, shrieked. "I'm going to kill you!"

"Already tried that, non?"

Ororo's hand tightened on his arm. "Don't antagonize her, Remy!"

"Go on, Remy." Jean said, eyeing Rogue. "You should leave."

"W'at happen?" Remy asked bewildered. "Why Rogue want to kill Remy
this time?"

"Oh, Remy." Ororo sighed. "Go see Logan."

He jerked around to stare at her. "Logan? W'at -"

Turned and ran. Remy pounded on the elevator button and cursed the
professor's security arrangements. Logan hadn't been down with
everyene else. What was wrong? He couldn't be sick or hurt. Stomach
churning, Remy wondered what he'd screwed up now. If he'd hurt Logan -
Rogue should have finished the job she'd started in Antarctica.

Taking the last fight of stairs two at a time, Remy raced up to Logan's
room.

The Canadian was replacing the window in his room, whistling softly to
himself. Panting, Remy hung on the doorframe and stared.

"Cher?"

Logan glanced over his shoulder at the Cajun. "Come an'hold this will
ya?"

Remy shook his hair out of his face and walked across the room. A
fragment of glass popped under his boot. The windowframe next to
Logan's bed was fresh new wood and the dark man was fitting a new sash
into the window. A few stray fragments of glass glittered on the
floor, under the bed. Remy held the sash in place while Logan hammered
the frame back together.

"W'at happened, homme?"

The hammer's steady rhythm faltered. Picked up again, determinedly.
"Nothin' - had nightmare."

The tall thief frowned at the top of Logan's head. The Canadian was
not - exactly - lying. "Rogue t'red to strangle Remy b'cause you 'ad a
bad dream? W'y you not at practice, cher?"

"Shit, Rem." Logan tossed the hammer onto his bed disgustedly. "Drop
it will ya? I'm fuking - just fuckin' fine! Rogue needs t'mind her
own business."

"An who's talking 'bout trust now, eh homme? E'ven Rogue know more dan
Remy!"

"Went out th'window." Logan muttered, then shrugged - there was
nothing in his expression that betrayed him but Remy could practically
taste the desperate unease in the other man. "Wasn't awake. Woke
right the hell up when I hit bottom. It's no big deal. Have
nightmares all th'time."

Remy sank onto the bed. Logan looked fine, his healing factor had done
its work. A fall from four stories wasn't fatal - not for Logan - but
it must have been agony. Rogue - and the rest of the team - blamed
him.

"W'at you're dream about?"

"Don't wanna talk about it." Logan jerked his head like he was tossing
off a noose. "Ain't important."

"Dis about - the rope, cher?" Not a random guess and the painful stab
of real fear made Remy flinch.

"No."

"Don lie to Remy!" He snapped. "Remy know w'at y'feel - even you -
homme! W'at you dream?"

Logan turned his face away and didn't answer.

"We stoppin' dis, cher." Remy hissed furiously. Damn the bastard for
showing him - showing him something he'd never thought he could have
then backing out on him. "Remy no hurt you - and you hurtin' homme.
You c'n keep you damn secrets!"

Stiff legged, stomach twisting as much from the roll of Logan's
feelings as his own frustration, Remy stalked towards the door. No more
- no more of that wild, frightening, intoxicating heat when his deadly
lover put himself willingly in Remy's hands. "Dis is over!"

"No!"

Logan grabbed his arm. Remy swung around, slapping Logan's big hand
off. "Non?"

"I - I can handle m'own damn problems, Cajun!" Logan crossed his arms
and scowled at the taller man. "It's just a damn dream - somethin'
that happened a long time ago and it don't mean nothin'!"

"If it don mean nothin' why you thow y'self out th window? An not
telling Remy!" He cried, the betrayal hitting him suddenly. "Remy
hear from Rogue that you hurting! And you want Remy trust you!"

"Goddamit Remy!" Logan exploded in fury to hide the fear - shame? -
and bitter, desperate anger. He walked past Remy and slammed the
bedroom door closed. "Goddamit! Just - remembered - those damn white
tiles and - and bein' held down -"

"Cher?"

Logan's anger was bleeding way, the big man seemed to fall in himself,
sinking down onto the bed and dropping his head in his hands. "Damn, I
didn't think I could hate Creed more 'n I already did."

"Sabertooth?" Remy wondered.

"Fuck - fuck - fuck - " Logan jerked his face away from Remy, staring
at the wall and talking as fast as he could. Spitting out the words as
if they sickened him. "The bastard - we got history - bastard -
bastard r-raped me. Back when I was nothin' more than some guinea pig
f'a bunch o'scientists."

Logan suddenly doubled over, fists on his knees and voice muffled.
Remy could see the tremors shaking the broad man from across the room.
He moved closer but Logan reared back, eyes wild.

"Just let me get it out, damn you!" He snarled. The words came
faster, pouring out of Logan. "Creed did me in some lab room - god -
freezing tiles and him talking to me the whole damn time. 'Scream for
me' - an' fuck if I didn't. Left me bleedin' like a stuck pig. They
knew - those whitecoats knew - and didn't stop the bastard. No one
stopped him. I - I couldn't stop him. I remembered - after -"

"Mon Deiu." Remy whispered. He sank to his knees at Logan's feet. A
chill rushed through him, numbing his fingers, as if he'd never be warm
again. He remembered the shuddering feel of Logan trapped between his
body and the white tiled shower room and his stomach turned. Remy
swallowed hard, nearly vomiting at Logan's feet. "We stop now, Logan.
I swear, Remy no hurt you - never hurt you. Never - never make you
feel that way."

"No!" Logan caught Remy's hand in his own. He looked - relieved - as
if something to heavy to carry had been taken from him. "You don't
understand Remy! You didn't' make me feel that way. I - I liked what
we did. And if I got any fuckin' time bombs in me I damn well wanna
know!"

"You want dis, still?" Remy stared at him, red and black eyes wide
with disbelief.

"This ain't just fer you, gumbo." Logan leaned forward, staring hard
into Remy's eyes. "I - told ya. I wanna know. I wanna know what's
inside here."

Logan thumped his own chest. "I gotta know."

Logan leaned closer, his dark eyes burning. "I ain't gonna let Creed
do this t'me. T'us. I ain't gonna let him - let any o'them - screw my
life over. Y'want this. I want it. Y'ain't been so - hot fer me
before this. An I want it. I want it when y'so hot y'can barely stand
it. When y'cant keep y'hands off me. W'hen y'want me like that.
Y'know what I'm feelin' but I know what y'feelin' too. And Creed ain't
my fuckin' lover and I ain't lettin' him tell me what the fuck t'do.
Are you?"

Remy stared at their joined hands. Logan's need for this practically
burned him. "Remy ain't doin t'is if you don't talk to Remy. Remy - I
- no rapist. No forcin' you. No hurtin' you. Don' w'ant dat."

Logan reached out and gathered up a handful of Remy's hair. He drew
the thief close and kissed him, mouth bitter with the aftereffects of
fear. "I ain't doin' nothin' I don't want to. And you ain't either.
Don't lie t'yerself. Y'want this as much as I do. Y' don't wanna
stop."

Remy kissed him, until they were both breathless, until the taste of
fear was gone and he could put his hands on Logan without the other man
flinching. Combed his fingers through the tangled black hair. Moved
to whisper in Logan's ear. "Oui. Remy want dis. And I just started
playing, cher. Remy got all the cards and Creed don got a chance."

Logan, in his hands, shuddered.