Nokomenam, me I suppose, least part of me, it's my nick when I hang out in Yahoo religion chat rooms. Don't think it's all of me though, maybe a little of what I would like to be, really. I don't talk religion or faith with anyone in real life, heck, don't talk much to nobody about anything. But what Nokomenam believes is what I believe, or have come to believe, or am in the process of believing....

     Self is soul, spirit, consciousness, self-awarness, existence, mind {thought}, heart {emotion}, personality, .... It's that which is me and lives inside my physical body.
     Self starts as a blank slate, an entity within the infant, born some time prior to physical birth, I suppose, though it's more of an instinctive existence then.
     Self resides in the brain, a blank slate upon which will be written that which describes and becomes self, that makes it more mind than anything else.
     Neurons and synaposises that form and change shape as self develops, that is the phyiscal brain. The mind, self, is the information, knowledge, thought, energy which those neurons and synaposises represent.
     Just as the physical body is nutured and grown within the womb, self is likewise nutured and grown within the body throughout life. Self experiences existence, calls it life and living.
     But the body grows old and dies, not so with self. Self continues into a different realm of existence, an extension of that which we learn of and know of while the body lives. It is, or will be, a mysterious kind of life since self can only speculate about the details of it.
     So, there is self, me.

     God, the "Deity Dude" as a lad who I know once called the concept, is God. Said so Himself in one of the holy, sacred writings, "I will be what I will be," "I am that I am." God, for me at this time of self's growth, is pretty much just that, God.
     We each become aware of or learn of God through different ways. We develope our own individual concept of who and what and why God is, yet God remains God to each of us, least for those who believe. Such is the speculation that our selves do during our lives. And such is the way in which we are trained to believe during our individual learnings.
     My concepts of God grow and change as self grows and matures, not to imply that God changes, just my understanding of him, the who, what and why.
     God the Creator? Yes, that's usually the second concept, there appears to be a need for a beginning and a Creator in most faiths and religions. It's natural, physical life has a beginning, even the universe has a beginning. I looked with eyes and mind upon nature, the world, the planets, the stars as a child and youth and saw God the Creator. Marvilous works of creation.
     God the Creator? Less so now than before if not at all. The child has grown into adult, self has matured as well, knows more about all that is in the universe. The universe is virtually incomprehensable is size, time and complexity. Does that not make God the creator likewise too? Yet, self contemplates God's existence. A contradiction of sorts for some, for others it makes God more wonderous I suppose.
     But is the premise correct, that need for a beginning and creator? Or at least correct in that there's a beginning for all, including God. Is not the original singularity referred to as "big-bang", out of which the universe grew, complex enough within itself for God to also be created?
     Most everything in nature evolves in some form or fashion. Don't think God would be any different. Fifteen billion years is a long time, would God not think Himself different now than when He became aware of his Self? It is the nature of the universe, God is part of that universe.
     God the Personal? Yes, God is personal for me. Like it was personal eons ago for that nomadic, nobody caveman who was hunkered down on a hilltop watching the full moon rise above the trees and thought to himself, "There is a God." Weird image huh? But that's the first, original concept of God. We humans have been trying to figure out what that Nobody was thinking ever since. Being trying to figure God out ever since too.
     God the Personal? Yes. He is the Entity-dude that *I* believes in, that makes Him personal. He is personal for all the others who believe in their God, one in the same I think. He brings me peace and comfort when He knows I need it, some times when I request it. Just the other day I was walking a trail in the woods next to a river, kinda got lost in my loneliness, being there by myself sitting on bolders watching the river pass by. On the way back I asked, "God, walk with me for a short while, please." There was a warm sense of not being alone anymore.
     God the Personal? Yes, that is it. There is no other.

     Mysticism, that part of beliefs that has no real explaination even within the belief itself. Stuff just seems to happen because God does it.
     The Lord's Supper sacrament of Christainity that's mysticism, in all its various forms: real change from bread and wine into body and blood, the sense of belonging and fellowship during group communion, simple symbolism.
     Transcendental Meditation, mysticism in Hindu and other beliefs. Achieving some form of higher self through ritiual thought, not really sure what it is, hard to when not brought up that faith.
     Enlightenment, mysticism for Buddism, seperating True Existence from Self. Nirvana, cessation of desire for worldly existence, or something like that. And there's the mysticism of each step in the eight-fold plan of achieving nirvana.
     Of course they is mysticism in most or all the other faiths and beliefs, just to bring the mind to thought of the others.
     Then there are all the other forms of mysticism in beliefs and faiths, the common ones so to speak, except they are probably rare. Its those occassions of personal encounters with God the Personal.
     Here's one example. A mother is at the hospital waiting for her infant to have surgery, she is concerned of course. She feels the need to pray and meditate, goes to the hospital chapel. There she sits with her thoughts and feelings, in walks a man dressed in green surgeons clothes. He sits at the organ, turns and asks, "Do you mind?" She nods. He plays. The music warms her spirit, that sense of peace and comfort. He finishes and on the way out, "It warms the soul."
     Oh yes, there's a 'meanwhile' here. Some hundred miles away, a friend or fellow church member begins to call others. Within 30 minutes or so, there are tens maybe a hundred people praying to their God, "be with her and the child", "comfort them, give them strength" or whatever the exact words were.
     And then there's this part. The mother begins to look for the organ playing surgeon, he's not to be found, no one at the hosiptal knows of such a man. She recalls the clothes were darker green than the others see now sees, had no name tag either, you know how it is, little noticed things that later become noticed.
     Personal mysticism you may be asking now. Yes they've been those too.
     It was autumn of one year, was returning home with parents after visiting a brother's family and their newest member. During the drive I felt that there is death ahead back at home. The days passed by, nothing happened. Was sitting with parents eating supper in the den, there is that sense again, a really strong thought, for a brief moment. Dad turned and looked at me, then went back to watching the news and eating supper. 'Oh gee man, what was that about?' I thought, am I thinking that loud? He died the first of December that year. What was it? God preparing me for sorrow and suffering coming in the near future? Do we just sense when something bad is about to happen?
     After my father died, I was staying at mother's house the following spring. I slept on the couch in the den next to the kitchen. During some of those days I had a sense of being cut, just a feeling occassionally. One evening as I was laying there waiting for sleep, I heard a noise in the kitchen. A knife had fallen off of the counter. Spooky huh? Some few days or weeks later, I had appendicitis, had the operation too. Was it dad's spirit still in the house, looking after his family? Was it God, letting me know another event in my life was nearing?
     Oh, the story isn't over yet either. During the summer I started having lower back pain, the kidney stone kind. I really didn't want to go through another operation then, so soon after the first. I suffered, went on with the daily business of work and all, a constant dull pain in the back, trouble getting to sleep and waking up again during the night. I can be quite stubborn about some things. Was sleeping on the floor at my house one evening, or trying to go to sleep. Out of frustration I leaned up on my elbows, reached around my back, "God have mercy!"... poof, pain gone. Wierd huh?
     So what's this mysticism thing in beliefs and faiths? Is it the *warming of the soul* while a real man played the organ? Is it *praying of a hundred people* that made some sort of connection with the mother, warming her soul? Is it communion, shared experiences, of ancient rituals that warms the soul? Is it *sensing* one's personal future or those of loved ones? Is it the *answer* to a simple casually asked prayer? Is it any of those individual encounters with an angel or miricles that you read or hear about that invokes *emotion, tears of joy* within the Self?
     God the Personal, yes, so Mysticism the Personal as well.

     Why is there suffering? Might as well ask, "Why is there happiness, joy, love, caring...."
     Part of the balance in nature, that ying-yang principle? Maybe. Or how about the "light-dark" comparsion, "if not for the dark, would we know there is light"? Maybe.
     Then there's that other question, "If God is a loving, caring God, why does He allow people to suffer?" Yeah, some attribute it sin, humans brought it upon themselves, not God's fault. Yeah, sure, blame it on satan, devil, evil one or whatever name it is.
     How about simply this, "Stuff happens?" It's just part of life and living.
     One of the differences between the child self and adult self is learning to deal with the bad stuff that happens in one's life. It's part of the maturing process for self. As a child when we are hurt, physically or emotionally, we cry and run to our parents for comfort and re-assurance. As an adult we mostly run to ourselves, deal with it on our own, we become our own parents in that respect.
     For sure, if there are family, friends, loved ones we seek them also, or they seek us in times of suffering. And times of happiness and joy; sharing the good times as well as the bad. Hey, that's life and living.
     Why illness, mental and physical? Why infants who have no real chance at living? Why painfully long deaths? Why accidents and ill fortune or just plain bad luck? Why wars and hatred? Why this and this and that and that...?
     The premise is wrong, assuming only good things should happen.
     We play with matches as a child and get burnt. That's suffering. We learn not to do it again. That's good. We play with our lover's emotions, and our own, as adolescents and cause heartbreak. That's suffering. We learn that's not the way to be a lover. That's good. We experience the death of friends and family, young and old, most of our lives. That's suffering. It prepares us for our own. That's good.
     Then there's this thought. We live and learn during this physical life, least for those who live a mostly righteous life, and it prepares us for the next. Just what is it we are to do next? Praise, worship, sing hallaluahs to God for eternity? I think not.
     He expects us to continue loving and caring for each other in both the herenow and the hereafter. He expects us to earn our keep. Send us on earns and tasks which need tending to back in the herenow. Perform those personal miracles for those who need them during their suffering. Whisper in some person's mind, "be a doctor", "be a teacher", "miss that turn, there's danger on that road", "stop shooting drugs", "it's wrong to kill", "your father's about to die, be prepared", ....
     Why is there suffering? Stuff happens. We live we learn. We offer counsel to others "been there done that, recommend you dont do that or you should do this, I know how you feel, ...".