Friday Jan 1, 1999
5:05am
There's another conspiracy afoot, hoax of the century, no, hoax of the millennium it is.
ABC World News Now just reported it again, well, contributed to it. It's this reference to the next millennium thing, ha, they dont even call it the Third Millennium, just the next one, like no one knows which one it its, much less when it really starts. Other news media types have done the same thing, television and print. How can it continue without anyone catching on to the joke?
Think about it.... One hundred years to the century, one thousand years to the millennium, then start counting off the years. 1, 2, 3, ..., 98, 99, 100 First Century. 101, 102, 103, ..., 198, 199, 200 Second Century. 901, 902, 903, ..., 998, 999, 1000 Tenth Century and First Millennium. 1001, 1002, 1003, ..., 1098, 1099, 1100 Eleventh Century. 1901, 1902, 1903, ..., 1998, 1999, 2000 Twentieth Century and Second Millennium.
December 31, 2000 is last day of last year of the Twentieth Century and Second Millennium. January 1, 2001 is first day of the Twenty-First Century and Third Millennium.
Like why do you think we call it the Twentieth Century yet all the years are nineteen hundred something? Like why do you think Isaac Ismaov titled his book, 2001 A Space Oddessy? Or, that other book whoever the author is, The Third Millennium? Geesh, it's like news media really do believe us poor common folk masses dont even know how to count for ourselves anymore. And why those damnable politicians get away with all their lieing conniving ways too.
Oh well. Did my usual thing for New Year's Eve... sleep out the old, sleep in the new. I did ride up to Sliding Rock #11 yesterday, walked about a bit on the rocks along the Little Eastatoe. The place is getting in bad shape again, it's more than just the usual party and picnic trash now, it's household junk dumping now. The county closed the green dumpsters up in that area and opened another recycling center. But people just dont drive the extra miles to it, so roadside dumping is already coming back like it use to be way back in the 50s and 60s. The county, or whoever owns the property, will close off Sliding Rock #11 this year I think. Stuff like that always happens, the few bad people, or wild partying kids, trash a great gathering place, then the officials put up the gates and lock everyone out. The bad people rule the world you know.
One thing I started doing with the website is to keep track of which pages people were looking at. What few people come to visit that is. It was partly to see if the counter and times the pages were accessed matched too. Anyway, that worked for about a week. Then Geocities, or whoever is messing with my mind, fixed it so the last accessed times were the same as the last modified times. So now, I cant keep track of which pages people are looking at anymore, or when either.
There's never enough email either, it still seems like anyway.
Oh great, here comes verse 1001, same as the first. Forget that.
Oh yeah... Full Moon tonight or last night... Full Moon about the 28th too... Blue Moon month for the First Month of the year... That's rare I suppose. Weird stuff going be happening this month, maybe this year as well, I bet. Enough of weirdness for now too as well, I've run out of things to think about and write about. Bye.
Saturday Jan 16, 1999
10:10am
Seems like it's been the depths of deep, dark depression again.
It was the ice storm New Year's day, dread dread dread, what to do if the power goes out? Where to be when it goes out, here or Mom's? How to stay warm? How long will it be out? Nothing but woe and worry while waiting.
I've been having back pains to, off and on, over the past couple of months too. So it was more worry and concern about that, and what was causing it. Always thinking it would be the worst cause, kidney problems, lung problems, heart problems, anything that would require hospitalization and doctors and me without any health insurance. Go broke paying premiums or go broke owing health bills, what's the diff?
I ended up staying home that night, Frances had arrived that afternoon, so someone was with Mom. I spent the afternoon putting up cardboard in the windows. I had already put new plastic over the screens for the windows. I even moved a few of the boxes I had packed up with my books and stuff into my living space, thinking it would add a little to the thermal mass in the rooms.
But there's was always that dread of the approaching ice storm. I did check the weather sites on the internet and watched it get nearer and nearer.
Back pain and worry pain and dread pain. I was eating a bit, crackers cheese and beef sausage that I got for a Christmas gift. I was already not feeling good from all the worrying, not really hungry. I choked. Realized it wasnt going down right, or up. I walked into the kitchen and coughed it up. Sat back down in the chair next to the table with the computer on it, my usual, and virtually only, sitting place. Felt my heart beat wasn't right so got my stethoscope and listened to it, even though I really didnt' want to know that for sure. Anyway it was out rytheme now.
Man, how much more can go wrong? Been smoking more that a pack a day for year, sitting on my butt wasting away time and my life in meaningless chat rooms and live cams, no progress on any or my projects, it's cold, it's freezing rain, I'm making myself sick with worry, no job, no insurance, Mom's getting old and nothing I can do to help take care of her, I was planning to start advertising for jobs this Spring, blah blah blah blah....
So I lay around and rest. I wait to call and check on how Mom and Frances are doing, she was cooking some so there would be food to eat if the power went out. Then I just go on to bed early, about 7:30. I lay in bed and let my mind do it's worst.
The night passes and the morning arrives, power still on, house still warm. Spend the weekend between home and Mom's house with Frances. Most of her cousins get to visit Sunday afternoon and other relatives, we go down to her granduncle DM's and Micky's for a while. I drive her back over to Greenville to her other aunt and grandmother that night since they live close to the airport and dont have to drive far so early the next morning. So that was the ice storm and visit the first weekend of the year.
A day or two later Mom sees water stains on the ceiling in her bedroom, the roof leaked during the ice strom and driving rain. So I go get some plastic, roofing cement, and other things, climb up in the attic where there might be a snake, and spread out the plastic in that corner of the attic, and spread newspapers on top of it to help keep the water from puddling. While up there, I screened off the open area around the chimney where I thought the snake might be crawling up. There was some flattened insulation like something had been crawling there. The next day I get up on the roof and recement around a vent, hammer some roofing nails back down and use some cement on them to hold the shingle down, and otherwise do what I can to patch up the suspected leaks.
Sunday Jan 17, 1999
9:50am
Oh well, abandoned (or was it run away from writting again?) telling about the bad things these pass two weeks and ran off up to Whitewater Falls since is was a nice day, so now it's a day later and the telling still needs to be told, even though it's almost as bad as reliving it.
So where did I leave off... Another thing that has happened was that Mom's car needed working on. I had noticed the brakes making a hissing sound, a vaccum leak the Sunday I took Frances down to DM and Micky's. So this week I took it over to the neighborhood garage for them to work on. He replaced the brake booster. Had to do the routine of driving the car to the garage, get a ride back to Mom's to get my truck, then wait two days, then go get the car and drive it to Mom's, she drove me back to the garage to get my truck, it cost $200, blah blah blah. Anyway, Mom' hadnt been feeling well the pass couple of days, and I didnt think she needed to be driving, really dont think she needs to be driving any not that she cant it's just worrisome for me knowing she out driving when I should be driving her around. So anyway, that's the car problem thing.
In the meanwhile, I've got this nagging pain that makes my whole right side hurt, front back side, and all the worrying about what it is and how serious it is and what's it going to do to me, more blah blah blah....
I did go down to the library to do some work on the Pickens buisness history project which meant I sat and copied some street addresses from old directories which meant I didnt help the back pain any. By the end of the day, I had thought myself into a nervious-tension type of ill sick feeling. So I just ate supper at Mom's like I usually do, then went home and went to bed early.
Spent most of the next couple of days laying on my chest. That seem to help, along with getting up and moving around enough to keep from going to sleep. Then about Thursday, I actually started to feel better. Enough so to build a brace for the attic stairs. Oh that's one other thing, during all the recent going up and down the pulled down stairs to the attic, I noticed one of the hinged areas was really bad and would probably break with the next use it seemed. So I built this support thingie that fits under one of the steps, it's just some two-by-four box looking thing. Anyway, I did the sawing and drilling and nailing and it actually seem to help keep the pain away... or at least out of my head.
The next day I guess, Friday, I got this piece of wood shelving and did some sanding on it, hand sanding, that really made my back feel better... kinda like working out a sore muscle. Anyway, I got this thought about using something to hold the keyboard and mouse on my lap so I could sit straighter in my chair without having to keep my arms up so much when working the mouse and keyboard. So that's what I did, sanded and stained, golden oak type stain, and it feels better to just sit with my arms down now. Oh yeah, I got a blanket folded up and behind my back now too, that helps too.
Monday Jan 18, 1999
10:10am
The other day, Saturday, when I ran off up to Whitewater Falls, I learnt the power magic isn't there anymore, least not for me it isn't. Signs of old age for me I guess, I really couldn't get deep down into the Zen of the place. The memories of some of the things I've seen there are just fading shadows with little or no feelings. I suppose if I would start going back out to such places, some of it might come back, but it would still be different, my spirit is that of an old nomad now, just re-visiting some of the places I've been is all.
I took my robe with me too, the light brown, heavier one. And my walking staff, not the hiking cane, but the long staff. Walked over to then down to the top of the falls. Looked around a bit, just to get the sense of the place. Then I made some simple ritual bowing and put the robe and hood on. Then spent most of the rest of the time just hanging and walking and sitting around the top of the falls. So that's what I felt like, some old has been wizard, jedi, wanderer, looking over the shadowy images of the things I've seen there. Then when it was time to leave, I did the ritual bowing things again along with the raising of the wood staff, took off the robes and packed them up.
Then I left, put the pack on my back and left. Decided to climb back up the steep side, that was the way I first went down to the top of Whitewater Falls, some fifteen year ago. Thought to myself, "this was the first way I came down, might as well be the last way I leave."
Tuesday Jan 26, 1999
9:20am
So, what can I grip and bitch about today?
Sometime last week, Tuesday or Wednesday I guess, I drove over to the Veteran's Clinic in Greenville, it's way south on Augusta Road, almost to I-85 I think. Sat around there from about 10:30 to 12:00, waiting to get processed into their system, that's all I wanted to do anyway, just get that part done. So now I'm a card carrying Vet, twenty-three year after getting out of the Navy, I'm somehow back connected with the military. It don't feel to good either, but what else was there to do? At least I feel somewhat better that I have a place to go to get some medical help, if I ever really have to.
There were other veterans there, of course, people sitting and waiting, or walking around and waiting, or walking around going from one waiting place to another. There were those feelings again, military, navy, Nam and wondering who was where and when and what did they see and do. It's not good to be connected with those feelings again. Then there were four young guys come in, probably late twentys or early thirtys at the most, just recent vets they were, with a completely different set of feelings of the military days or years.
The receptionist lady, she decided to go ahead and process me into the veteran's system. It had gotten around to noontime and the other lady had gone to lunch and she knew I had been waiting for a while, so she asked me all the usual questions and entered them into the computer system, then made my picture. All the while doing her receptionist things with people coming and going, that was nice of her. I thanked her for the extra effort too. She said, "You have a good one too."
Yesterday afternoon, it's been really nice and warm for a few days, sunny and 60s, so I worked on some woodworking stuff, out back on the porch. It was a set of small shelves for the bathroom that I had started three years ago, I think. It was just before I had the hernia and operation that I sawed the wood up to length. Then wham! Everything seem to stop for then next two years. Operation, part time pizza cook dishwasher floor mopper, urinary infection, blah, blah, blah and everything else that's happened since then.
Anyway, I did the woodworking stuff, sanding the wood, cutting and routing slots for the shelves, drilling holes for the screws, even got it together now, just to see how it's looking and working. I need to fix up some front support though, it's too easy to tilt. Then I gotta take it apart, do some more sanding and then varnish it, then put it back together, with glue this time along with the screws.
At least I'm doing something besides sitting in front of this computer. I don't enjoy that much anymore, it's that nagging thought of what happens if I sit too much now. Hummmmm, wonder if that counts for a working disablity?
Even after I went to the Veteran's Clinic and got signed up, I went to see my regular doctor anyway. By that time, most of all the pain and worrying had passed. Told him I probably waited to late for him to find anything wrong now. He checked me out anyway, no blood or infection from kidneys so it wasnt that. Haven't heard from the blood tests yet, I need to call them I guess. He did give me a prescription for some "happy pills" (haha), cholorzeptate. It's just a crutch though, just to have around if I really want them. "Situational Stress" that's what the dianogosis was, from all the stuff that's happened since the first of the year.
Well, that's all for now, I'm going go do some activity type stuff now, even though that Pickens Business History project I started back in October needs to be worked on too.
Wednesday Jan 27, 1999
8:10am
Yesterday about noontime I left home to go over to Mom's house to eat lunch there, like I've been doing. I got out to where Gravely Road ends at the Mountain Highway and turned onto the highway for the short drive up to Fox Squirrel Ridge Road. Happen to look up on the telephone lines and saw a bird sitting there, it wasn't no crow and too big for a common bird. Decided it needed more checking out so I got up to Fox Squirrel Ridge Road and turned around and drove back down the highway a couple hundred yards or so and pulled over to the side onto the grass. It was a falcon.
I sat there and watched it for a few minutes, then eased on down a little closer and watched some more. It was just sitting there looking around and didnt seem concerned about me being parked across the road from it. It was brownish breast and grayish feathers, whatever kind of falcon that is. The cars passed by and it just sat there, I guess birds and such are familiar with big, odd looking animals that move fast down the straight, curvey, flat rock path. I rolled down the window to see it better, there were reflections in the glass. It sat there and looked my way a few more times.... Then it flew away. Guess it still knows what a human looks like and knows to stay away from them.
I got the small shelves for the bathroom stained, varnished, glued and screwed together now. Finished that this morning already. I used one of them stain and varnish together products. Decided I didnt like it 'cause it's too easy to get streeks. Oh well, what's done is done. Wasn't expecting much anyway, it's just a small bookcase looking thing, just to put bathroom stuff on. Besides, it was something to do besides sit here and stare at websites.
It did replace what I was using before... probably twenty-one year I used what it replaced... two cardboard boxes for height with a boxlid sitting on top of them and all covered with stick-on woodgrain shelve paper. Amazing isn't it...
Well I need to do some more activity type stuff, I'm hasitant about sitting here for too long now, thinking the back problem will return if I do. Besides, what little, and it was a little, bit of exercising unused muscles doing the woodworking yesterday let me know just how unused those arm muscles have been for the past year.
Thursday Jan 28, 1999
8:00am
Yesterday, when I was driving down Ann St in Pickens, the birds caught my eye again. It was a group of crows... they were chasing a hawk... cawing and diving at it... the hawk just kept on dodging and flying... I've seen that before, about every three years I guess... I would probably see lots more stuff like that, if I'd just get out more. Anyway, saw a falcon Tuesday, saw a hawk Wednesday, so what kinda raptor will I get to see today?
Spent most of yesterday working on Mom's house. The vents to the crawlspace had lost the wire screening decades ago, it was just the metal gridding with the wide openings left, big enough for a snake to crawl through. One of the vents had fallen in years ago too. So I went up town and got some 1/4 inch wire mesh and some regular wire screen, thus the reason for driving back down Ann St and seeing the hawk and crows. Drove home and got my tools then drove over to Mom's house. Spent the rest of the day snipping and cutting and bending and pushing new wire mesh into the brickwork vent openings. It's just spring tension holding them in place, guess they'll fall back out more sooner than later. But such is the end of most everything I try to do. It doesnt matter much though, at least there's something better than what was there. I did clean out the bottom of the openings to the vents. Rich black soil that had accummulated over the years. That made me think about how Dad would never have let something like the vents go without fixing them a lot sooner.
Well today I got to rake up some leaves and burn some trash that's been pileing up. I still keep the stuff that burns here, thinking that's so much less that ends up in the county dump. It's all wet now, so I'll have to use the leaves to get it hot enough to burn away.
What else is there on the "to do" list? Pickens Business History Project; add to website some religious thoughts, more Pickens County Tour, update resume and put in back on website, write some new storys, ...; advertise for some contract programming work; re-write gear hobbing program for Visual Basic and Windows; go for ride on bicycle; get teeth fixed; work on getting previous computer working right again; build something to hold keyboard and mouse so I can work standing up; get out and visit people; fill out tax forms; cut down sapplings next to road and other yard work; get propane tank for emergency heat; clean house again; get parttime evening job; make a vacation trip to beach; cut back on smokeing again; ....
Monday Feb 1, 1999
10:45am
One-tweleth gone already, the year's a month old. Why is it time goes by so fast and there's not much to show for it? Even when I'm busy with something time goes by fast and there's still not much to show for it.
Saturday I went down to the video store by Town Creek, Silver Screen Videos, and rented three movies. I have had a VCR for almost a year now but never used it much. I did record one tv show, a PBS show I think, and bought another one about the Apollo Program. But that's mostly all I've done with it, only watch them two show once each. Anyway, I rented these three movies and spent the afternoon and evening watching them. So I've found a new way to waste away time. Oh yeah, the movies were, "Out on a Limb", "Deep Impact", and "Independence Day".
It snowed Sunday afternoon, it got cold and snowed, dont recall the weather reports talking about cold and snow all last week. Ha, them and their fancy, self-promoting, accurate weather reporting. They missed it and wont admit it either. But it just layed on the grass, leaves and trees, the roads were still warm enough for it to melt so the driving wasnt bad. It's going be a messed up late Winter and early Spring, kinda go back and forth till late Spring I guess.
I got the sympthons of a cold now too, got use to the nice, warm weather and now it's turned cold again. January... back, side and rib pain. February... head and chest cold. March... ?????
This morning I did this thing about opinion poll questions, the kind of questions that are never asked or reported. So I'll just use it to finish off this Journal entry.
Opinion poll questions or statements which will never be asked, or if asked never published. Or in other words, "A cynic's verison of Twenty Questions."
1. American news media is the most mis-leading source for the average citizen to keep informed.
_ Yes _ Mostly true _ No
2. Of the two political partys in America which believe the average American to be completely guilable and naieve.
_ Republicans _ Democrats _ Both
3. Considering all the investigations of the Clinton presidency (Whitewater, Travel, Jones, Lewinsky, etc) and the final results (he lied under oath about a private matter) it is the sole intent of the Republicans to overturn the 1996 election.
_ Yes _ Mostly true _ No
4. Ken Starr, as an over zealous and ambitious special prosecutor, has committed more treasonious acts and high crimes than Clinton.
_ Yes _ Mostly true _ No
5. Each and every member of Congress should be investigated for financial and abuse of power conduct.
_ Yes _ Mostly true _ No
6. During the course of investigation in #5, they should be put under oath and questioned about their private sex lives.
_ Yes _ Mostly true _ No
7. If from #6 it is determined that they have done nothing illegal concerning their financial or position of power but lied under oath about their priavte sex lives, they should be removed from office.
_ Yes _ Mostly true _ No
8. Considering the Starr-Monica-Clinton in total, if it looks like politics, sounds like politics, stinks like politics it must just be politics.
_ Yes _ Mostly true _ No
9. Given a choice of having one political party in control of the Presidency and both houses of Congress, you would choose which party?
_ Republicans _ Democrats
10. With one political party in control of government which do you feel would do the most damage to American society?
_ Republicans _ Democrats _ Either
11. Did the people who composed the United States Constitution intend for lieing under oath about a private sexual affair to be equivalent to treason and high crimes against the government?
_ Yes _ Mostly true _ No
12. The American news media intentionally hypes up minor events, political or otherwise, in order to promote their own agendas?
_ Yes _ Mostly true _ No
13. Considering all that the Republicans have done to harrass the Clinton presidency, they have done themselves more harm than good?
_ Yes _ Mostly true _ No
14. If Clinton is removed from office for lieing under oath about a private sexual matter, then all present and/or past Presidents, Senators and House members with similar conduct should also be removed.
_ Yes _ Mostly true _ No
15. Considering that most Americans approve of Clinton's presidential job performance, it has been the Republicians intent from the beginning to diminish, tarnish and otherwise attack his personal character.
_ Yes _ Mostly true _ No
16. Who has committed the more treasonious acts against the United States?
_ Ken Starr _ Newt Grinwich _ Republican political stratagists
_ News Media _ All
17. Considering all that the Repulicans have done to harrass the Clinton presidency, the intent has been to coverup, hide, misdirect attention to what Congress has really been doing the past six years.
_ Yes _ Mostly true _ No
18. Americans are mostly and truely politically guliable and naive.
_ Yes _ Mostly true _ No
19. The Democratics will do to the next elected Republican President what the Republicians have done to the Clinton Presidency.
_ Yes _ Mostly true _ No
20. Given a choice between maintaining the status quo or a new revolution (warless type) for a better political society, you would choose.
_ Revolution _ Status Quo
Tuesday Feb 2, 1999
9:30am
Life is one continuous string of aggravation. The head and chest cold comes and goes and comes again. Mom's house needs some more work done on drain pipes, I guess.
Went for a ride in the truck yesterday afternoon and it starts acting up, looses powere and quits pulling hills. Had to stop and let it idle some then move on down the road back toward home. Got it home and called Mom to come and pick me up. Then this morning I spent some time looking at distributor rotor and buttons, spark plugs, and exhaust smoke and condensation. I just got back from the neighborhood garage, he mentioned it might be the catalitic converter which a muffler shop has to fix. I left it at the garage anyway to let him check the other things out, just to be sure.
Of course I had visions of busted rings, blow head gasket (again) and other expensive repair work. Too expensive, if it ever gets to something like that I'll just have to get another truck, used truck with a different set of problems I guess.
It seems like the closer I get to making serious effort to get a job, any job, the more problems I have. I'm going mess around and screw around and loose the game. Some times, more frequently for sure, it seems like I tossed the dice on this temporary retirement game, and the dice still havent finished their rolling, so I'm still in jepardy of loosing the game.
Guess it's time to put updating the resume and advertising for programming job at the top of the "to do" list. Forget about the Business History of Pickens project. Forget about working on website. Forget about yard work around my house. Forget about everything else on the "to do" list.
Saturday Feb 13, 1999
4:20pm
Wednesday... cold, sneeze, drip, cough.
Thursday.... cold, drip, cough, sneeze.
Friday...... cough, sneeze, drip, cold.
Saturday.... cough, hack, sneeze, drip, cold.
Sunday...... drip, drip, drip, cough, cough cough, hack, hack, hack, cold.
Monday...... sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, cough, cough, cough, cough.
Tuesday..... see Wednesday through Monday previous week.
Went up town on one day during all the cold stuff, Maven Capacitors actually, I was going to leave my resume with them, but they dont take applications or resumes, they do their hiring through some placement agency. So I found out which one and where and drove down to Powdersville the next day, filled out their application and left the resume with it, the lady said to call the Greenville office that afternoon since that's where the professional types are handled, so I did, so the lady didnt fax the application over, so I called again the next day, so it still hadnt been processed, so when I start looking for a job there's always someone else's incompentance there to mess me up, so I dont care any more again.
Stopped by a software business in Easley the same day I went to Powdersville and left my resume with them, havent heard anything from them either.
Still havent found out much about what's required to start being self-employed, it's not really a business with employees so none of them government forms are right for me, cant make heads nor tails of any of them government publications I finally found on the Internet, so I havent put any ads in the paper yet either.
Leander came up to visit with Mom last Sunday and spent the night. Monday Leander wanted to go for a ride up on Highway 11, so I drove them around. We went into western Eastatoe valley where all the rich people development is going on and then drove back through the valley to the east end, went to where the Powers had their summer place.
I've gotten to where I hate sitting around, I hate this Internet, I hate chat, I hate being here all the time, I hate that I cant get nothing going, I hate that to do list.... blah, blah, blah, blah.
Tuesday Feb 16, 1999
10:30am
Went up town this morning to eat a breakfast sandwich (ham-egg-cheese) at the Cafe, that's Bobby Garren's old place and before that Lewis's Cafe and before that City Cafe and before that Keowee Cafe and before that Keowee Bank. Anyway, I've been going back up there to eat three or four times this past week so I'm getting out some in the morning at least.
On the way back home, just past the creast of the ridge and before Gravely Road, I saw another one. It was a red-tail hawk this time. It flew across the road from East to West and perched in a tree. I did like last time and turned around, drove back up to Fox Squirrel Ridge, turned around again, and drove back up the highway slow. I didnt find it again till it flew and perched in another tree so I drove on down to Gravely Road and creeped along, looking at it up in that bare tree. It's kinda strange, go months, maybe a year, and not see the big birds, then see four since the first of the year.
Netscape and some of the other software had been messing up more and more recently, causing blue-screen errors even. Sometimes I think Gates has his programmers hide secret code in Windows that eats away his competitior's software. So I deleted a bunch of programs, checked for viruses, de-fraged the disc, then reloaded some of the software. So far it seems to be working better. Netscape didnt get loaded exactly the same either, neither did the other programs. I didnt load everything like before, just what I use. But that should have made the difference I see.
Anyway, they all, MS Netscape Mindspring everyone, puts so much useless code in their programs. Trying to have every feature imaginable, duplications in all the applications, it's all just asking for problems. What ever happened to "Keep It Simple Stupid!"?
Visitors to this website have dropped to none. Dont get email from anyone and I've given up sending stuff out. Maybe it's time just to delete my cyberlife from the internet as well. I think that's what all the snipes, snoops, sneeks, and spooks want anyway. So just might as well give it to them. Kinda makes one wonder how a nobody like me could attact the attention of those types anyway. Bannished, Silenced, Erased, Person Nongrata, ectra ectra ectra....
12:40pm
It's truly a very sad tragedy, a for real commentary on one aspect of society.
Over in Greenville County, about six this morning, a 28 year old man was brutally murdered. Hummph, as if just another murder is news worthy anymore. But listen to this. He was in the county jail for a traffic offense, driving under suspended license, any yes he had other such traffic violations before. Place in a cell block with others, seven I think, to wait his turn in court, or whatever reason the authorities had for jailing a traffic offender. It all should have been just that, sitting around in a cell block, waiting for the system to do it's thing.
One of the others in the same cell, he's there for robbery and murder, already had his trial for those crimes just this past week. He was waiting too, for the system to do the sentencing part of the proceedings. So what does he do? He beats to death one of the inmates, supposedly pushed a pen up the man's nose, and whatever else the autoposy will reveal. I know it's still too early to know all the details, but do they really matter? Who may have provoked whom over what? Does it really matter?
In Greenville County the penalty for traffic offenses, or just being in jail for whatever reason, is death. It's not the first time something like that has happened there. The officers there used excessive force in subduing one inmate, that was a year or so ago. Seems like there was another case too, but I've forgotten the details. It's not just Greenville County either, it's the State too.
Several years ago another man got sent to prison for a traffic offense, a multiple offender from Anderson County. He was put in a cell with a man who was serving life for murder, another prisoner who should have been in a cell alone. He just simply killed the man from Anderson. The penalty for traffic offenses in South Carolina is death.
But wait, there's still more. The 28 year old man who was killed was White. His killer is Black. Will there be an Civil Rights investigation, another hate crime investigation? Will the Rev Jesse Jackson take notice and call for investigations and protests over another possible hate crime and Civil Rights violations? Probably not, there's not suppose to be any Black on White hate crime, just White on Black.
Will all those individuals, who for the past couple of decades, who have demanded all sorts of get tough on criminals policies, will they accept their share of the killing? Put them all in jail and throw away the key, but dont spend any of our tax money to build more prisons. So what if one, or two, or who knows how many, get killed just for being in jail or prison. Prosecute each and every offense, no matter how small, to the fullest.
But all that is what society appears to want. It's all just collateral damage, as the military would phrase it, when talking about innocents being killed during war. I'm sure that's a comforting thought to the dead man's relatives and friends.
Makes one wonder... when will it happen to one of your relatives, or friends, or even you?
Friday Feb 19, 1999
10:00am
Yesterday morning I went up town to eat at the Cafe, before daylight even. Ate another breakfast sandwich, ham-egg-cheese, sat around a bit, then left to go back home. It was fogging too, the low kinda fog that settles into the valleys and hollow among the hills. I sat in the truck for a while and thought about going up to Glassy, but decided to just go on home, so I headed down Ann St. Got down to Jones Ave where the old Four Point Shell station and old Highway Department use to be. Still thinking about going to Glassy, I turned right and went.
I drove out Farr's Bridge Road and turned to go up the mountain, it didnt take long to get above the fog. It was going be nice. Drove up the road and looked around as I went, clouds down in the low places with the tops of hills and mountains sticking up like islands. It had been a long time since I saw that kinda of scene.
I got up to the top and parked under the tree where I usually parked. Got out and walked around the circle at the tower. Walk, stop, look... walk, stop, look... walk, stop, look. The fog was high in some places, rising up like the top of thunderheads, it was were there would be factories and stuff, making particles for the vapor to condense into clouds. The Oconee nuclear station was one of them, the fog was thick and dense over the lake too. Over in the East, near Fountian Inn and Simpsonville and Mauldin, there were fogheads there too, that's where most of the industry is in Greenville County. The fog over Greenville itself was kinda odd, a smooth, sloping rise type of foghill, I guess the heat from all the concrete and asphault caused that, not any pollutants being dumped into the air in the city itself.
Saw more than eight jets fly over too, condensation trails, most were headed south, just two going north. That made me think of the Saturday 11:00 am air traffic I had seen before, a steady stream of jets headed to Atlanta from the North, trying to make the noontime changeover in Atlanta.
Yesterday afternoon was a downer. Got all depressed again and not feeling like doing much of anything, like what's the use, it wouldnt work out for me anyway. It's carried over into this morning too, it takes such effort just to get something started, like making this Journal entry. It seems like the only thing I feel halfway like doing is write, write non-sense stuff that doesnt accomplish much of anything. It's all just to have some sense of doing something, anything I guess.
I got this idea of writing another short story, something about the local native Americans, but it's just a thought of the beginning of the story and I have no thoughts about what happens after that. Like who would care anyway? I dont do publishable type material with all the editting and form or even popular subject. The stuff I write just isnt marketable.
Oh well, time to send out some email... into that cyber never-never land of no return. Bye.
Monday Feb 22, 1999
3:30pm
Got back from washing clothes at the Laundrymat down by the creek, they're hanging out on the back porch now. I usually do that on Saturday mornings, but I wrote some stuff that morning, along with livecamchat. I've washed clothes at laundrymats for thirty year now, started at Middlington Tenn when on the navy base there. While collecting data about the Pickens Business history I saw where some of the other laundrymats use to be, they're not there anymore. {pause to count in my mind.} Five, there's been five of them, just here in Pickens. It's always been laundrymats, whereever I've been.
Yesterday I rented some movies again, watched three then and the other two this morning. When I went to rent them the young girl behind the counter said I was late returning the last one, but I wasnt, I've always returned them within three days instead of the five. I didnt argue with here, I just let her add the extra dollar onto the ones I was renting then. I took them back while doing clothes this afternoon, thought about asking for a receipt but I didnt.
I looked through the classifieds too while waiting for the clothes to wash and dry, got that sick kinda of feeling again, looking at all the positions available but not having one qualification or another, wondering if I'm ever going find anything again. So I just threw the paper on the floor of the truck and forgot about it.
Went down to Meece's Mill Saturday afternoon, I wanted to get another one of their coffee crumb cakes like when they first opened back in November. The lady there recogonized me, asked if I was the one who sent them the history of the mill site. We talked a little, then I got the cake and started to pay for it, she gave it to me.
Then I went over to Hagood Mill. Alan the miller there had sent me some email Friday, about the copy of the Meece's Mill history. He mentioned me doing a report on Hagood Mill, which I had always thought already had lots of stuff wrote about it. He even mentioned *arranging* payment. I havent the foggest what to charge for such work. I just dont know. I sure know it wouldnt be book size research. I'll just make an outline of what research I can do, how many hours it'll probably be and send that to him.
Still havent done anymore on the Pickens Business History. I havent even put the pieces of data I've collected so far together, it's just that there's so many missing that I cant document a business site from the beginning to now. It would be like leaving too many holes everywhere. Maybe I'll just put together what I got and let it go.
Over the years now, I've realized this Journal has become my psychologist or psychirotist (yeah I know it's misspelled but I aint looking it up). I've never had anyone to go to and tell them my thoughts and problems. Hell, to many people have dump the garbage in their lives onto me, why should I dump mine on anyone else? I didnt like that so I know they wouldnt either. So I've just written it all in these spirial notebooks and now in these text files on disk. Post them on the internet then wonder if anyone out there ever really reads them, or cares. Ha, they just read enough to see how bummed out I am, then they leave to find something more enjoyable to read. Dont blame them either. H E Y !!! I'm not feeling any better about myself... I need to find a new psychologist.
It's coming soon... if I can every get my lazy butt in gear and write some more on it.
Friday Feb 26, 1999
10:50am