I Feel

Like an ant being burnt by a child with a magnifying glass in the sun
Like a razor blade in my man-panties
Ouch, Ooch, Eeeek, Ahhhhhhhh!
Would Santa ever kill a child?
The Candyman cost me $500 in dental bills
It's good, it's bad...How can so much joy bring so much sad?
Too many bright colors in a box of Fruity Pebbles
Blinded in one eye while the other struggles to see
I feel so many things
Oh golly gosh
Oh golly jee

Love Potion #69

Tangled together like the wires behind a tv
I sucky-sucky on you, you sucky-sucky on me
The taste of your paste makes my mouth salivate
I didn't mean to poke you in the eye with the stick between my thighs
I like to eat pussy while having my cock sucked
It must be Love Potion #69

Life Sucks And Then It Sucks Some More

"Quack, quack" says the moose
The man with the pie pees on a coconut
Naked fat people dance
Two days too late...my yogart has expired
A jew and a negroid walk into a bar
Father Time lost his watch
Will my pain ever end?

My Porridge

Bitter sweet, but is it good to eat?
First thing in the morning
I sit and I stare
My porridge is discolored
And I've discovered a hair
Curly and thick
I think I'll be sick
For the hair in my porridge appears to be pubic

I give you my all and ask nothing in return
Just that one waking joy which leaves me reborn
To learn what I have, and to see what you've done
I must give up my porridge
And to the hairless sticky bun I am forced to succumb
I'm losing my identity, and becoming another you
It was your plan from the start, I'm now walking in your shoes
Why did you pee in my porridge?

A Grandmother's Love

The smell of sweaty armpit air
A bush that was never trimmed
Underwear the size of bed sheets
Toenails 8 inches thick.


Pimples on her ass
Wrinkles on her tits
Even with her teeth out
She couldn't please a dick.


I love her for her meatloaf
And the cookies that she bakes
I'll spend the change she gives me
And I'll wear the clothes she makes
But I'll never fuck my grandma
Not again anyway...cuz that was really sick.

The Retard

I thought I was retarded
So I left myself unguarded
The things I do for you
I learned the cow says "mooo"
I was such a fool to think you'd like my drool


I thought I was retarded
You giggled when I farted
I can not tie my shoes
So I fell and now I'm bruised
I looked to you for care
I looked but you're not there


I thought I was retarded
It's how our relationship got started
All I wanted was a home
But you sent me away alone
Now I'm locked away from the one I love
And living with guys who suck their thumbs


You said I was retarded
But now I'm brokenhearted
You painted a bullseye on my diaper
Then stole my wallet and hired a sniper
You lied to me, bitch!