| The hours pass in a blur of emotional roller coasters. Not a moment goes by were I don’t have to change my train of thought to keep from crying. Even though I hate my mother and the home I'm leaving behind, I feel lost and homesick. The idea of a new town with new faces frightens me. I can’t help but fear being shunned by them. So many times I’ve been shunned, teased, ignored, the list goes on and on. One would think I’d be used to it, but that’s like saying a soldier would get used to watching his friends being killed in battle. Its something someone never gets used to, just learns to deal with it better. The worlds a funny place I think. We’re all so desensitized to things such as violence and sex, to the point that the boundaries between fantasy and reality are blurred. Sometimes we forget what it is to be human. Its as if our sole purpose is to go around hurting each other till we either kill ourselves, kill them, die in an accident or, if we’re lucky, from natural causes. The ways in which we hurt each other is sickening. On this bus I can see some of them. Beside me an old lady with her grandson are both sound asleep but from the moment we left home the old bag berated the boy. No matter what he did she would beat him down with harsh words. I feel for the child and I understand what its like. Mother is… Was like that. It’s dark now, the sun having set hours ago. I rest my forehead on the cool glass of the window. The stars are missing, the sky covered in dark, angry clouds. It’s gonna rain. I can feel it. Fitting I think. I can feel a storm building inside of me. I'm feeling so many emotions that they’re melding together. If anyone were to ask me what I was feeling I could honestly say I don’t know. What I do know is that I don’t like it, it doesn’t feel good. I feel like sobbing long and hard but I can’t. If I were to start now I don’t think I could stop. I can’t remember the last time I cried. I sigh and curl up tightly in my chair. That’s a lie. I do remember. I remember every day. I’ll never forget. Never. The best course of action is to sleep. I'm not sleepy. I could stay up for days but if I do my mind will wander dangerous places. Places I don’t wanna go. I close my eyes and pray for a good night. A peaceful night. ******************* Someone shaking my shoulder awakes me. My eyes flutter open and I quickly close them the sun blinding me. “Morning dear.” The voice of the old woman says cheerfully. I grumble and push myself up into a sitting position. Somehow during the night I had spread out over the two chairs, my one leg draping over the back. The sun shines far up in the sky and I look to my watch. “It’s only 6am! What kinda freak wakes a person up at such a freakish hour!” I grumble. The old lady glares at me like I had offended her. I shake my head and ignore her. “Stupid bitch.” I mumble. My stomach growls. “Breakfast time.” My voice, the closest thing I’ll ever get to a singsong voice. I grab my bag from under the chair and fish out the junk food from the other day. There’s more then half left. I grab a hand full and unceremoniously stuff it into my mouth. The old lady scoffs at my lack of manors and I cant help but turn to her and stick my tongue out at her, giving her a full view of my half chewed food. Her grandson giggles and the old bag turns her head in disgust and horror. I snort, some of the food flies out and hits the old lady on the face. Both the grandson and myself burst out laughing. The old lady looks at us both with distaste, stands up and moves to the bathroom huffing like a bird the hole way. Shaking my head and laughing I turn back to look out the window. The grandson sits down beside me. I look to him wirily. He smiles up at me. “Thank you.” His voice is soft and sweet, suiting his childish face and age. “What for?” “You know.” He smiles an all-knowing smile and returns to his seat before the hag returns. My face brakes out in a lopsided grin. The old hag returns and sits down proudly. She never once speaks a word just sends me glares every now and then. The rest of the way to Baltimore I sit and listen to Cd after Cd. I’ll have to buy more batteries soon. When we finally reach the city it’s noon. When we get to the bus station it’s 1pm. I watch the old hag and her grandson whose name I never found out, grab their things. The hag moves to get off the bus. The boy lags behind looking at me. He stands in front of me. “I’ll never forget this day.” He leans over and kisses my cheek. “Thank you.” The little boy whispers in my ear. “I hope you find what you’re looking for.” He says pulling back. I look down in concentration. What I'm looking for?? What does he mean by that? I look up and he’s gone. I look around for him but he’s no where in sight. Sighing I grab my own things and head off the bus. This bus station is smaller then the one back home. I find the information desk easily. This time I'm saved the torture of having to deal with an overly happy clerk and I quickly find myself on my way to Cleveland a new set of batteries in hand. TBC |
| Part 3 |
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