| Summery: Tess’s POV Rating: G ************************** Unravel me A distant cord On the outside is forgotten A constant need To get along And the animal awakens And all I feel is black and white A new place filled with new faces. But this time it’s different, they’re here, the rest of my family. I have to get along with them, I have to put on a big smile and forget everything I want. Nasedo says that the only thing I need is my husband, his soldier and the soldier’s wife and I have to believe him. It doesn’t matter what I feel or need, I’m a part of something bigger and they need me. They have to need me… The road is long The memory slides To the whole of my undoing Put aside I put away I push it back to get through each day And all I feel is black and white And I'm wound up small and tight And I don't know who I am I don’t know who I am except for the king’s beautiful wife. All I’ve ever heard is stories about our past together and Nasedo has made sure I haven’t gotten too human. He burned my mythology books claiming that it was stupid human nonsense, he made me practice my powers ten hours a day and he threw out the TV. All I could do was fantasize about how it would be when I found the other three. I push away all my human needs and play different roles to get through the days. I’m just Queen Ava, married to King Zan, nothing else. Everybody loves you when you're easy Everybody hates when you're a bore Everyone is waiting for your entrance so Don't disappoint them Nasedo tells me I can’t disappoint them or him, I can’t let my planet down. But I don’t understand how I could disappoint them when I was only created for them. I live for Max and Nasedo tells me I should love him so I say I do. But I don’t know what love is, I don’t know anything except that I have to make them like me. If they don’t like me I have no purpose, I have no life because my life is Max’s. That’s what Nasedo says and he knows better, I’m too young to know what’s good for me. Nasedo wouldn’t lie Unravel me Untie this chord The very centre of our union Is caving in I can't endure I am the archive of our failure All my life I’ve waited for our reunion and Nasedo keeps telling me over and over again that I shouldn’t screw this up. Maybe that’s why they left me alone in the pod chamber to begin with; I was a screw up. If that’s true, how can I not let everyone down this time? Emotions are choking me but Nasedo mustn’t see me cave into them, he did once and the pain after his hands on my face lasted for weeks afterwards. He told me it was my own fault and I believe him, I am a failure. I have to do this one true thing right; I have to make Nasedo proud. And all I feel is black and white And I'm wound up small and tight And I don't know who I am Everybody loves you when you're easy Everybody hates when you're a bore Everyone is waiting for your entrance so Don't disappoint them I take a deep breathe ‘cause this is the day when I first meet them after so many years. My feet are trembling as they slowly walk towards the big school building in front of me. My blond curls are bouncing slightly on my shoulders and I put on a smile on my face that’s filled with too much make up. I have to let everyone believe I’m easy, I want to make them believe I’m easy ‘cause then they’ll notice me. The hallway is filled with a scent that is them and I’m finding it harder to breathe. What if Nasedo was lying? What if they won’t let me in? No, I can’t think that way…I live only for them; I live only for my husband Max. Nasedo says so and I have to believe him because if I don’t, then who will I believe? Everybody loves you when you're easy so Don't disappoint them The hallway is so long and all I wanna do is turn around and run. But I can’t, I am Queen Ava and it doesn’t matter what I want or feel, it doesn’t matter who I wanna be. As I continue walking with a fake smile, Nasedo’s words keeps on echoing through my head: Don't disappoint them... The End |
| Part 2 |
| Black & White |
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