Because I Love You - Chapter 2 - VI - And to Koshino’s utmost horror, he was responding to Sendoh’t sweet assault. He didn’t mind the fact that Sendoh’s storm arms were encircling his waist in a possessive manner. It didn’t matter that just one minute ago, he was ready to strangle the spiky haired player. It didn’t matter anymore that they were in an open basketball court, in an extremely compromising position in broad daylight. But it did matter that they were both guys and they kissing the living daylights out of each other. Realization jolted Koshino to the core as his eyelids flew open. He tore his mouth away from Sendoh’s and disentangled himself from his embrace. He rolled to his side and scrambled to his feet. “I’m sorry,” Sendoh started. “What the hell did you do that for?” Koshino shouted as he wiped his lips with the back of his hand. “Well,” Sendoh said quietly, “They said that the only way to shut an angry person up would be to kiss them. I thought I would give it a try if it meant saving my skin,” he shrugged. Inwardly, he felt terrible – his stomach was in knots. His excuse sounded lame to his ears. But he didn’t know why he did that either. He just wanted to do it. Like some part of him was demanding for him to seize the chance. But he was certain it wasn’t right at all now, with Koshino glowering at him in such a ferocious manner. There was a flash of lightning, followed by a low rumble of thunder. A light drizzle of rain descended upon them. “Look, it’s getting late now,” Sendoh said uneasily, “and you’ve just gotten out of hospital. You shouldn’t be caught in the rain.” Koshino’s expression softened considerably at his concern over his health. He turned away from his friend, “You’re right, we should go now.” They picked up their stuff and walked silently to the car. They did not say a word through out their drive back to Koshino’s house. It seemed that one stolen kiss had made a whole difference in their relationship. Sendoh pulled his car into Koshino’s driveway. They got out in silence and Koshino got his duffel bag from the backseat of the car. When Sendoh walked up to help him with his bag, he declined. Koshino opened the door and the alarm went off. He entered the house first to enter the pin-code. Sendoh bent down to help him pick up his bag when he appeared at the doorway again. If they were in this situation thirty minutes ago, and that kiss had never occurred, Koshino would have invited him in to watch a game or just hang around. “It’s getting late now, you should get home before your mother gets worried,” Koshino said as he took the bag from Sendoh. “See you in school tomorrow.” Sendoh didn’t protest. He only nodded and turned his back. The door closed softly behind him as he shuffled back to the car. He looked back, hoping that Koshino would open the door anyhow and invite him in. But the door never opened. - VII - Koshino leaned against the door and slid on to the floor. Burying his face in his hands, he listened to the sound of Sendoh’s car engine as it roared to life and drove away. He bit his lip, hard, trying to choke back the tears that burned the back of his eyes. He hated turning his friend away like that. He hated the fact that he had to pretend not to be affected by their kiss when he so obviously was. He hated the way Sendoh can wiggle everything and anything out of him. But the thing he hated most of all was his inability to stop himself falling in love with Sendoh. He loved him more than a friend, and even more than a brother. He loved him much more than that. He had tried to repress those feelings, to sink them to the bottom of his heart. But his will was weak where Sendoh was concerned, because the memories keep resurfacing. He can’t get Sendoh out of his mind. He had made a point to never reveal his feelings for Sendoh in public. Not because he was scared to make a social outcast of himself, but because he didn’t want Sendoh to be shunned away by the society. He wanted him to be happy. Besides, both of them knew that Sendoh was slightly homophobic. Sendoh pretended that he was open about such relationships, but secretly, he confessed to Koshino once that he can’t really stand seeing two people of the same gender act overly familiar with each other. And at this point, he would give his life to make sure Sendoh lived happily for the rest of his life. He can’t tell Sendoh about his health condition – he’ll probably follow him everywhere. And in the end, they might end up in a state where there will be no turning back. And all he could do for him now was to keep his distance. It would be the hardest thing he ever had to do. For the first time since Koshino found out about his tumor, tears fell from his eyes. - VIII - A loud honking was heard behind him and Sendoh was startled out of his thoughts. He glanced at the traffic light which had turned green before he changed gears and stepped on the accelerator pedal. The car moved forward allowing other cars behind it to over take it. Sendoh pulled off the road and cut the engine. He leaned his forehead against the steering wheel and began to sort through his feelings. Not something he did very often. After all, his life mainly revolved around basketball, school, evading his fan club without seeming to and hanging out with Koshino. Koshino Hiroaki – his best friend. The guy he had known since first grade. The guy he had just kissed less than an hour ago. To some point, Sendoh still can’t believe the fact that he had kissed him. He had joked around that his lack of interest in girls might point that he might be a homosexual. But to kiss his best friend? And somehow, that one innocent stolen kiss had changed their relationship entirely. Sendoh could feel that Koshino has started to avoid him. Maybe he needs some time to come in terms with what happened just like me, Sendoh reasoned. His phone rang. After two rings, it automatically accepted the call and Sendoh could hear soft breathing on the other end in through his hand’s free kit. “Moshi moshi?” Sendoh answered the phone with the vigor he didn’t feel at all. A voice giggled softly on the other end, “Sendoh-kun?” “Yes,” Sendoh confirmed. “This is Kentaro Ayumi…you gave me your number and said I can call you sometime,” the voice at the other said nervously. Sendoh scanned through the list of girls he know and came to a stop when he remembered a shy first year that always hid behind other girls that were clamoring to speak with him. Brown haired with bambi eyes. He thought that she was pretty and when they bumped into each other again, he exchanged phone numbers with her. “Kentaro-kun, what can I do for you?” Sendoh asked easily. “Ano…Sendoh-kun, am I bothering you?” “No,” Sendoh assured her. “Actually, I was wondering if we can go out for a movie on Friday or something,” Ayumi laughed nervously. “If you are not free…I understand. After all, you’re a very busy person.” Sendoh mentally checked his schedule and came up free. “Sure, why not? Shall I pick you up at your house at six?” He could almost hear her relieve over the phone. “There’s no need, I’ve got some errands to run before I can go out. Why don’t I meet you at the cinema at Kashira mall?” Ayumi suggested shyly. “Ok…see you there at six,” Sendoh replied. “Thank you, Sendoh-kun,” Ayumi said sincerely, “for agreeing to go out with me.” “No, Thank you,” Sendoh said kindly. “See you.” With that, he pressed the end button. Maybe it was time he should take notice of girls as well. - XI - The week flew by and before he knew it, it was already Friday. Koshino was still pretty much avoiding talking about him. Their conversation mainly revolved around basketball, homework and the weather. Sendoh checked his watch to make sure he wasn’t late. 5:55. He looked around for some sign of the brown haired girl. But all he saw was a young man with a pale complexion and black hair, who was almost a head taller than the rest of the crowd. Sendoh made his way towards the man and greeted him, “Hey Rukawa, how have you been?” Rukawa regarded him with cold animosity before answering shortly, “Fine, thank you.” Sendoh blinked in surprise. Rukawa had actually replied him civilly. “What are you doing here?” he asked, trying to break the silence between them. Rukawa gave him a ‘duh’ look and Sendoh mentally smacked himself for asking such a lame question. “Of course, you’re here to watch a movie.” Why else would he be at the cinema. “Waiting for Hanamichi.” Sendoh blinked again at the name. “Sakuragi Hanamichi? You two are…” he wanted to say friends but Rukawa beat him to it. “He is my boyfriend,” Rukawa announced. He did not like Sendoh. He smiled too much and not to mention Rukawa had caught him smiling and eyeing his do’aho more than once. He definitely did not like other people, male or female to eye his do’aho. Only he should have the privilege of eyeing his do’aho. “You’re a…” Sendoh started but Rukawa beat him to it again. Rukawa was certainly feeling chatty today. “I’m a homosexual. Do you have a problem with that?” Rukawa have growled at Sendoh. Sendoh took a step back. Rukawa looked more like wolf baring his fangs at his prey at the moment than a sly and cunning fox. “No,” Sendoh replied after a while. A week ago, if someone asked whether he was homophobic, he would have denied it. But today, he truly meant what he said – that he didn’t think Rukawa was a freak just because his sexual preferences were slightly different. On the other hand, it could have been worst. Rukawa might have preferred foxes to humans. Rukawa seemed satisfied with his answered and there was even a tinge of a smile on his face. Sendoh looked at the direction he was staring at and saw a familiar red head scowling as he scanned the crowd for someone. “Oi – Kitsune!” A loud voice called out. Rukawa immediately reclaimed his expressionless expression as his boyfriend walked towards them. Sendoh noted how his blue eyes seemed to shine when he looked at the approaching red head. “I was looking all over for you,” Hanamichi complained as he reached his dark haired boyfriend. “Why couldn’t you have stood somewhere less crowded? Only a tensai like me can find a kitsune like you in this crowd,” he finished with his maniacal laugh. “Do’aho.” “Teme Kitsune!” Hanamichi exclaimed but flushed slightly when Rukawa’s arm slid possessively around his waist. “Oh, hi smiley,” he greeted him when he finally noticed Sendoh who was standing two feet away from him. “Hi,” Sendoh returned his greeting with a friendly smile. Sendoh mentally applauded Rukawa for his bravery to bring his relationship into the open. But then again, it was so typical of Rukawa. He had always done as he pleased and to hell with what people think. If it had been the other way round, Sendoh would have been lost about what to do. He would most probably have tried to run away than deal with the problem. “Let’s go Kitsune,” Hanamichi said impatiently as he tugged at Rukawa’s shirt. “The movie’s starting and I heard the starting is real good.” Rukawa gave Sendoh a nod as he steered his boyfriend away with Hanamichi still droning on, “and there were limbs flying everywhere and the guts…” “Sendoh-kun?” Sendoh turned around to find a petite girl smiling shyly at him. Sendoh smiled back at his date “Kobanwa, Kentaro-kun.” And together they walked off. Rukawa turned his head to see Sendoh walking off with another girl. Seeing them together made him frown. “Kitsune, are you listening?” Hanamichi demanded. “What are you staring back?” he demanded as he craned his neck to catch a glimpse of what his boyfriend had been so interested in. All he could recognize was Sendoh’s spiky hair. “Kitsune, don’t tell me you’re interested in that smiley!” he exclaimed. “Do’aho,” Rukawa said as he rolled his eyes upwards and silenced the next ‘teme kitsune’ with a quick kiss on Hanamichi’s lips. “Kitsune, we’re in public!” Hanamichi hissed, blushing frantically. Rukawa cocked an eyebrow at him, “Do you think I give a damn?” He then he leaned over and whispered something into Hanamichi’s ear that made latter’s face turn as red as his hair. - X - “Thank you Sendoh-kun,” Ayumi said when they reached her house, “for agreeing to go out with me. Sendoh smiled tenderly at her. It had been an enjoyable evening. They watched a romantic comedy and he lasted through that somehow. They had gone to a ramen stall and they had talked a lot there. It was kind of a getting to know each other session. It was so different compared to the evenings he used to spend with Koshino. They would have gone straight from practice, still reeking of sweat. If they had gone to the pizza parlor, Koshino would try to order chicken pizza, which he claims was healthier but he would whined and beg for a beef pizza. And Koshino had always conceded and in they end, he always got his beef pizza. Sendoh chuckled at the memory and he turned back to Ayumi, “Don’t mention it; I enjoyed it a lot too.” They stood there for a while. Sendoh then realized what she had been waiting for and kissed her gently on her lips. Sendoh was disappointed – he couldn’t feel the thrill of excitement he had felt when he kissed Koshino. Why does kissing Koshino feel so right but kissing Ayumi feels so –wrong? Sendoh broke off the kiss after a while. “You better get in, your mother would be wondering what are we doing out here so long,” he joked. Ayumi nodded solemnly. She was always so serious – in a way she resembles Koshino, Sendoh thought with a chuckle. If he had to use two words to describe Koshino, he would have used uptight and worrywart. Sendoh wandered to a nearby park and sat down on one of the benches. Somehow, of late, everything he did, he related it to his past memories of the time he spent with Koshino. He must admit that missed his friend. In fact, he even missed him scolding him. He would give anything to hear him call his name in that angry tone now. “Sendoh.” Sendoh turned around to see Rukawa step out of the shadows. His eyes widened in amazement. “Rukawa? What are you doing here?” “To help you” “What would I need help with?” Sendoh asked in a puzzled manner. Rukawa sat down on the bench next to him. “What happened to him?” “Who?” Sendoh asked. Rukawa really seemed to be speaking in riddles tonight. “Koshino.” “Oh…he’s at home. What do you mean what happened to him?” “I thought you love him,” Rukawa stated bluntly. Sendoh gave a start and the laughed, “You’ve got it wrong. I love him as a friend only. I’m not like you.” “Then why did you kiss him?” “How did you know I kissed him?” Sendoh demanded. Somehow, he didn’t think Koshino would have told anyone about it. “I saw you.” “Would you stop talking in riddles?” Sendoh shouted, frustrated. This guy that he barely knows just steps out of the shadows, saying he wants to talk to him and he seems to know more than he is supposed to know. Rukawa rolled his eyes impatiently. “I was there at the basketball court. I saw you kiss him.” “What the hell were you doing there?” Sendoh yelled. His voice scared the birds on the trees and they took flight. “Looking for you.” “Why the hell were you looking for me?” Sendoh asked impatiently. “To play one on one.” Sendoh’s shoulders slumped. Rukawa gave him a look that almost looked like pity. “I don’t understand myself anymore. I miss him,” he told Rukawa whimsically. For the next half an hour, he poured out what happened and what he felt when he was around Koshino. Rukawa listened without saying a word. Finally, Sendoh was exhausted from all the talking. “What do you think?” “You’re in love with him.” “I can’t be – it’s unnatural…we aren’t suppose to fall in love with guys…Ok, there are exceptions,” Sendoh amended when he remembered about Rukawa being gay. Rukawa gazed at the sky. “How many stars do you think there are in the sky?” Sendoh looked up at the navy velvet sky strewn with stars. “I don’t know.” “I don’t know too,” Rukawa continued. “But if there are as many people in this world as there are stars in the sky tonight, it is hard enough to find real love. So I decided not to let a simple thing like him being of the same gender stop me from being with him.” He turned to Sendoh and said seriously, “Even heaven makes mistakes.” “Even heaven makes mistakes,” Sendoh echoed. That was the longest speech Sendoh ever heard Rukawa deliver. “And I’m going to make the best out of that mistake,” Rukawa said. “How are you so sure that Sakuragi is the one?” “I don’t know – my heart just tells me that he is the one,” Rukawa admitted. “It was frightening at first, but I can’t help but love him more everyday.” “Can’t help but love him more everyday,” Sendoh repeated as he looked up at the stars and contemplate what Rukawa just said. “Why did you want to help me?” he suddenly asked. Rukawa were never exactly on friendly terms with him. “Because the sooner you find yourself a mate, Hanamichi will be much safer when he is around you,” Rukawa said shortly. “Are you saying that you think I like him?” Sendoh asked incredulously. “I wasn’t even homosexual before this.” Rukawa shrugged nonchalantly, “It takes a crook to know a crook, or in this case, a gay to know a gay.” (Ghostwriter: Not entirely sure about this idiom) “I’ve seen the way you two act around each other,” he added sensing Sendoh’s confusion. As Rukawa stood up to leave, Sendoh asked him, “What do you think I should do?” Rukawa stopped and turned around, “It might sound silly, but you should listen to your heart.” “Thank you, Rukawa,” Sendoh said. But Rukawa had already disappeared into the darkness again. All Sendoh could hear was the fading patter of footsteps. Listen to my heart. To be Continued... ** Previous ** Next **