What a woman says:
This place is a mess! C'mon, you and I need to clean up, Your stuff is lying on the floor and you'll have no clothes to wear, if we don't do laundry right now!
What a man hears:
blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW
~Love is a sensation caused by temptation.
When a man sticks his inspiration
into a girl's combination, to increase the population of a younger generaration. Do you get my conversation, or do you need a demonstration.
Eat me, Beat me, Bite me, Blow me, Fuck me, Suck me, very slowly. If you hate it, don't make it hasty, add the tongue and make it tasty. I like your style, I like your class, but most of all, I like your ass.
~All right I will admidt it i do really act like a blonde but I hope I never get this dumb
A blonde walks up to a coke machine in Vegas. She puts in some quarters, out pops a coke, she puts is some more quarters. She keeps doing this, time and time again. Eventually a man comes up
behind her and wants to use the machine. He waits patiently for a while and then finally taps her on the shoulder. "Excuse me Miss, can I use the machine?" The blonde turns around and says,
"Fuck off, can't you see I'm winning?!"
~ Here is one for all you Mickey Mouse Fans
Minnie and Mickey mouse are in divorce court and the judge says, "Mickey you said your wife is crazy" Mickey replies," No I didn't, I said she was fucking goofy"
~Colin P was in math class and Mr. Walters says to him,"Colin, if I gave you $200, and you gave Courtney H. $50, Katie G. $50, and Brittany F. $50 what would you have?" Colin replies,"An orgy.
(sorry for the names i included except colin because he deserves it.)
~ Here is an example of something that Katie T. is going to do.
A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells extra
large condoms.
He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?"
She responds, "No sir, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?"
~ I've played golf before and he is ten things that sound a lot grosser then they really are.
1. Look at the size of his putter
2. Oh shit my shafts all bent
3. You really whacked the hell outta that sucker
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk
5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip
6. Lift your head and spread your legs
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired
8. Just turn your back and drop it
9. Hold up... I've got to wash my balls
10. Damn, I missed the hole again
~ This just in Doctors have now decided to give viagra a more medical sounding name. Viagra will now be called Mycoxaphloppin
~ Did ya hear? They kicked Barbie out of the toy box because she kept sitting on Pinnochio's nose saying,"Lie to me, lie to me."
~ The only reason that men were given bigger brains then dogs was so they wouldn't hump womens legs at cocktail parties.
~ Guys snore when they lay on their back because their balls cover their asshole and they vaporlock.
~ Here is something to remember. Children in the front seat cause accidents. Accidents in the back seat cause children.
~Katie T. views life in the following perspective.
Life is like a dick, when it gets hard, fuck it.
~ This one is for schwab. for all those times the dumb ass has been caught with acid. (sung to the tune of the alphabet) A,B,C,D, lsd teddy bears are chasing me, red ones, black ones, white ones too, the one behind me has my shoe. Shit this stuffs to strong for me, next time I'll just stick with weed.
~ Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.
That is a poem a friend sent me but i think that this is a better one.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun Stupid Jack forgot a condom and now they have a son.
