Becca and I were in my backyard watching Alex as he rolled around on his toy tractor. “He loves that thing.” Becca said.

“I know. He hasn’t been off of it for days.” I said as the doorbell rang, “Who could that be?”

“I’ll get it.” She said as she stood.

“Thank you.”

“Yep, be right back.” She walked into the house as the door bell rang again. “I’m coming, I’m coming.” She whispered to herself, as she reached the door.

“Where is he?” The man at the door barked as he pushed his way into the house.

“Hey, who the hell are you! LIZ!” Becca screamed as the man headed for the French doors in the living room that lead to the backyard. I heard the panic in Becca’s voice. I jumped up and pulled Alex off his tractor, holding him to me. I turned back to the house to see Aj standing in the door way watching me. I could see the anger in his eyes from across the yard. Alex could feel my anxiety and started to cry, burying his face in my neck.

“It’s okay, Mommy’s right here.” I whispered in his ear, rubbing his back never taking my eyes off of Aj as he crossed the yard stepping over the scattered toys. He stopped a few feet in front of me, his fists clinching and unclinching as he watched Alex.

“Let me see my son.” He said quietly.

“No, not when you are this angry.” I said as I took a step back.

“Let me see my son.” His anger seeped into his voice as it rose slightly.

“Aj you are scaring him.” I said as Alex held onto me tighter, trying to get away from what was scaring him. I could see Aj trying to get control of his temper. I looked over his shoulder as Becca crossed the yard toward me. I could tell by her face that she had realized who he was. “Becca please take Alex inside.” I said as I tried to pry Alex from my body. He wailed as Becca started toward the house.

“LIZZY!” I heard Nick’s voice through the open French doors. If Aj heard Nick, he didn’t acknowledge it. Nick stopped at the door when he saw Becca carrying Alex into the house. Alex reached out for Nick as Becca passed him. Tears rolled down my face as I watched Nick take Alex into his arms. Nick spoke to him, calming him down. When Alex’s hiccuping sobs slowly began to quiet down, Nick handed Alex back to Becca. Nick looked toward me and headed across the yard to us. As Nick neared, I saw his eye was swollen and had a blue tint to it. I looked at Aj and knew that he had hit Nick.

“I’m sorry, I tried to get here before he did.” Nick said as he walked up.

“You had no right to hit him.” I said slowly at Aj, “It wasn’t his choice. I told him not to tell you.”

“Had you rather me hit you?” He said quietly. His voice making the hair on the back of my neck stand up. “You had no right to keep him from me.”

“I know and I’m sorry, but until a few months ago I had no idea how to get in touch with you. If you remember, you left me, in the middle of the night. I didn’t even know WHO you were.”

“A few fucking months? It shouldn’t fucking matter who I am. He is my son.” His voice was eerily calm.

“I know and I’m sorry. I had every intention of telling you. I just didn’t know how,” I paused, “or when.”

“But you kept your little fuck buddy around, didn’t you.” He said finally looking at Nick.

“Aj it was nothing like that. You hadn’t called her and I wanted to check on her. I knew something was going on. When I got here, I saw him. I couldn’t just leave and not come back. I knew you wouldn’t want me to do that. So I came back and forth here trying to get her to tell you. I had already made up my mind if she hadn’t told you while we were in Florida, I was going to. It wasn’t right for you to be missing all this.” Nick said pleading with Aj to understand.

“Fuck off Nick,” Aj said looking at me. The hate in his eyes made me sick to my stomach. I knew he would be pissed, but I hadn’t expected the hate. “I want to see my son, now.” He said as he turned.

“Wait, at least let me tell him what’s going on. I don’t want him terrified when some man just comes in.” I said as I grabbed the sleeve of his shirt. He jerked his arm away from my grasp and stared at me. I felt the tears prick the back of my eyes as I walked around him.

I entered the house and saw Becca on the floor with Alex sitting in her lap. She looked up at me, her eyes teary.

“Hey my little man.” I said quietly as Alex looked at me when I knelt in front of him. “Come here to Mama.” I said as I held open my arms. He climbed from Becca’s lap and I picked him up. “There is someone I want you to meet okay?” Alex looked up at me then through the door. “Dada wants to meet you.” I walked through the yard over the toys. Alex played with a button on my top as I walked up beside Aj.

“Alex, baby look at me.” He looked up at me shyly. I switched him to my other hip and I looked at Aj. “Alex, this is your daddy.” Alex glanced up at the man standing in front of him. “Aj,” I tried to keep my voice as pleasant as I could, “Aj, this is Alexander Nickolas.” I wanted to keep Alex in my arms as Aj reached for him, but I knew I couldn’t. I bit my tongue to keep from crying as I handed Alex to Aj.

“Hey,” Aj said, his voice losing it’s coldness as he looked at his son, “How are you little man?” I stood back and watched the exchange between father and son. I knew I should be happy that Alex was at long last meeting his father, but I couldn’t keep the fear out of my heart. Nick wrapped his arm around my shoulders as I looked on while Aj walked away and sat down with Alex.

“Come on. Let’s give them some time alone.” He said gently pulling me toward the house. Once inside the house, I couldn’t keep the tears at bay any longer. They fell down my face rapidly, my breathing erratic. “Shh. It’s okay,” Nick held me as I cried.

Some time later, as I sat on the couch watching Aj watching Alex on his tractor, Nick’s cell phone rang. I didn’t turn from the window but I listened to his conversation.

“No, I’m sorry. I won’t be back in.” He paused, listening to the person on the other end, “No! Listen to me, If I tell you I won’t be in. I will not be in.” He flipped the phone shut and looked at me when I glanced over my shoulder at him. “Nothing to worry about, Kevin’s shittin’ bricks again.” I nodded and turned back toward the backyard noticing that Aj was walking back toward the house.

When he entered the house, he handed Alex to Becca and waited until she had left the room. At first he didn’t say anything to me or Nick as we looked at him. I could almost feel the anger shooting off of him as he looked down at me.

“I don’t know how a woman could be so cruel to keep a man from his child. There will be nothing that you will do to keep me from him again. I will see my child on a regular basis. I will be here tomorrow to see him.”

“I understand, I would never try to keep him from you. Like I said, I’ve never tried to keep him from you. I just didn’t know how or when to tell you.”

“I don’t believe a word you say, I don’t know if I ever will.”