I had luckily had Alex just in time to for summer vacation as soon as my maternity leave was over, but now my summer was drawing to an end and I was heartbroken.

"Becca, I can't leave him." I nearly cried at the thought. It had been the most perfect 7 months of my life since Alex was born. He was perfect.

"Liz, you have to find a day care. Hell, hire a nanny. That would be even better." We watched him, as he laid on a blanket in the shade in the front yard just in front of us.

"What if I get one of those psychos and they hurt him. I'd die." Becca laughed at me.

"You worry WAY too much honey. Listen I'll help you. I know it's hard but you can do it."

"Okay. You know what. You’re way too nice for your own good."

"Honey if I didn't love Alex like I my own child I wouldn't care."

"I know but you don't have to help as much as you do."

"Like I said you're like my sister and he's like my own flesh and blood." We both laughed as a butterfly caught his attention. "Has Nick called?"

"He called about 2 weeks ago but I was taking Alex to the doctor. He never leaves a number to call him back." I wanted to talk to him so badly.

"What about the other calls, have they stopped?" Becca asked. I had been receiving calls for the last month or 2 and someone would just hold onto the line while the answering machine recorded. I never heard anything on it but I could tell someone was on the line.

"The last one was about a week ago. So I don't know. Dang it's getting hot let me get him and go in." I got up picked up Alex and headed to the house.

"You ready to take a nap big boy?" I could tell by the look in his eyes that we were gonna have trouble today. He was wound as tight as a cheap watch, "Nope, you're taking a nap today. You didn't yesterday and you were Mr. Crabby pants." I tickled his tummy and he giggled. It didn't take him long to fall asleep and as I came down the stairs I noticed that Becca was on the phone.

"O.K. that will be great. Thanks so much. Uhuh you too bye."

She hung up the phone and I asked, "Who was that?"

"I was calling one of those nanny places. I was asking some details. They said they will have some information mailed to you."

"Oh okay. Do you really think a nanny is the way to go?" I asked playing with the place mat on the table as I stood by the chair.

"Well we don't know. But it's got to be safer here than anywhere else. I mean you’re only 10 minutes from work. You can come home at lunch to check on him."

"I know but if I do that he might not bond with the nanny. I really want to apply for more time off. I just have a feeling I need to." I had really been worried about this. I had this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that something was going to happen.

"Do you think it's really something to worry about or is it just you not wanting to leave him?"

"I don't know. I really don't. I've tried to figure it out but I can never figure out what's giving me the feeling."

"I don’t know what to tell you. Just try and figure out if it's something you need to be worried about or if you can just let it go."

"Well no duh." I laughed as she through the pen at me.

The summer was up, I was heartbroken, Alex was not happy, but I had found a great nanny. That was the only bright part of the whole situation. She was great with Alex, I just hoped I could make through the separation. I sighed as the bell rang the kids began to file into home room on the first day of school.

At lunch, Becca came to my room to see how I was holding up.

"How it's going?" She asked sitting down beside my desk.

"I think I'm gonna die. I miss him so much."

"You know what. I bet he's having a field day with Joan."

"I know. He really did like her. But I'm not there."

She laughed, "I know, but he will be all yours this afternoon."

"Oh I know."

The day really flew by, and I was home before I knew it.

"Joan?" I asked as I walked through the door.

"Hi, Ms. Liz." Joan said as she walked around the corner with Alex in her arms, "Someone here wants to see you." I could tell Alex had been crying he looked so pitiful.

"Oh my little man. What happened?" I asked her as I sat down in the couch and Alex snuggled into me.

"He woke up from his nap and I guess he was expecting you to be here. He's been in a fit since then." Joan smiled wearily.

"Oh Joan, I'm sorry. I know it was tiring. Do you think you can handle it tomorrow?"

"Oh yes. It's nothing I can't handle. He's got to get used to it too. Just like his mom." I smiled at her. She knew how I felt about leaving him.

"Okay well I'm going to fix us some supper do you want to stay?" I asked as I stood up. I knew Jane didn't have any family to go home to so I had always made a point to ask if she wanted to stay.

Alex, being 9 months old, was on to bigger and better things. My earring was the object of his attention right now. I grimaced as he tested the elasticity of my ear lobe. "Ow Alex. You're hurting mama." I pulled his hand from my ear and removed the temptation from his sight. I saw him pout. He was nine months old and he was already pouting. God I was going to have my hands full.

"Well I don't really anything planned, if you don't mind."

"I wouldn't have asked if I did." I smiled at her as I walked towards the kitchen. "If you will bring his bouncer in here you two can sit at the table while I cook."