�I had just finished finals for the semester and I was looking forward to a day off.� All I wanted to do was sit on the sofa and read a book or watch some TV and I was going to have the apartment all to myself because Jenny had two more finals.� I can remember falling asleep on the couch and then waking up with a pain.� I didn�t panic because my doctor had told me that cramping was normal and not to worry.� But the pain moved to my lower abdomen and got more intense and I got scared. I stood up to call for help, but I doubled over in pain.��
Melissa walked over to her bed and sat down.� Nick watched her every step, not saying a word.
�Somehow I made it to the kitchen and call 911.� It wasn�t long before I was at the hospital.�� She lowered her head as tears welled up.� �But I knew Bella was slipping from me, I could feel it.� The doctors checked me over and I could tell by their faces that it wasn�t good news.�
Nick joined her on the bed, turning slightly so he could see her face.
�They told me I miscarriage and that it wasn�t anything I did.� That those types of things just happen, but I knew it was my fault.� I should have called for help the minute I was in pain.�
�Mel, it isn�t your fault.�
�No, it is my fault Nick; I�m to blame for our daughter dying.�� Tears exploded from her eyes as Nick pulled her into his arms.� Melissa cried into his shoulder as he held her tightly.
�None of what happened is your fault.� What happened is tragic, but in no way are you at fault.�� His hand ran down her hair.� �You did everything you could possibly do to save our daughter.�� Nick held her in his arms for a long period of time.� Her crying stopped and she rested her head against his shoulder.
After what seemed like a long time, Melissa slowly pulled away from Nick.� Their eyes connected as they lingered in each other�s arms.� Nick gently wiped her eyes and then laid his hand on her cheek.� Melissa leaned in to his touch and closed her eyes, being with him felt so right, his touch felt so comforting, but reality quickly sank in.
Melissa stood up and quickly wiped her eyes.� Instantly she hated that he got to see her so vulnerable and that she let him in.
�Mel, I need you to know that no matter what happens between us that I will always be here for you.�� He walked over to her.� �I�m not going anywhere.� If you need to talk, I want you to know that you can always call me.�
Melissa laughed and looked at him.� �That�s a nice gesture Nick, but I don�t see that happening.�
Nick turned her so she was face to face with him.� �I know you may not believe me after all the horrible things I did to you, but I�m here for you.� Now and forever.�
�Nick.�
�Mel, it killed me to lose you and I made a promise to myself that if you ever came back to Fairview that I would do whatever it takes to win you back.� I actually had you back in my life and for the first time in a long time, I felt like me again.� I thought about the future that we could have, I thought about marrying you, having children with you, growing old with you.�
Melissa started to tear up again.� �Nick.�
�I felt like I was dying when I saw the pain on your face, the pain I caused.� As long as I live, I will never forgive myself for causing you, the woman who will always hold my heart, so much pain.�
Nick pulled her to him and their foreheads rested against each others.� �I love you so much.�� He took a deep breath.� �If you need to leave because being here hurts too much, I�ll understand.� It will kill me to see you go and not knowing if I�ll ever see you again, but I�ll understand.� I�m the reason you have to leave; I hurt you so badly that you are scared to let anyone in.�
Melissa looked up into his eyes and saw tears form.� �But I will never give up hope that you will come back to me.� I�ll never give up hope that there is a chance for us.� I need you to know that.� I�ll never stop loving you, Melissa.� But what I need you to know even more than I love you is that I�m always going to be there for you, even if you don�t want me to be.� You will always be a part of my life and my heart.�
Tears rolled down her cheeks as she listened to him.� Growing up together, she never saw Nick cry, he was never one to show his feelings.
�I�m so sorry Mel.� I know that means nothing now, after everything I did, but I am sorry.�
A tear rolled down his cheek and he didn�t make any attempts to wipe it away.� Instead his eyes were focused on hers.� �I love you, Melissa Barnes.� And nothing will ever change that.�
Nick placed a soft kiss on her forehead and then slowly backed out of the room.� Once again, she was alone in her childhood home.�
A couple of days had passed since her conservation with Nick and she was having dinner with her mother at a local restaurant.
�Honey, I was thinking that since you are going back to Chicago at the end of the week that we should have a party.�� Kathleen stated picking up a French fry.
�A party?�
�Yes, give your friends a chance to say goodbye.� They didn�t get that chance last time.�
�Sure mom.�
�No fighting?�
�You are right, I need to say goodbye this time.�� Melissa picked at her salad with her fork.
�Are you okay, honey?�� Kathleen had noticed her daughter had been distance.
�Yeah, I�m fine.� So where did you want to have the party?�
�I figured the house.� We can invite everyone and have it out on the deck.�
�Sounds great.�
�Are you sure you are okay?�
Melissa nodded and then gave her a small smile.
�Check, please.�� Kathleen said to their waiter.
�Mom?�� Melissa questioned her mother.
�You need to say goodbye to someone special before you leave."
�I can�t believe after all the time that has passed that we have never come out here together.�� Kathleen replied as they slowed walked over to his grave.
�I have come here numerous times, just to talk to him.�� Melissa stated as they reached his headstone.
�I talk to him all the time too.�� Kathleen wrapped her arm around her daughter as their eyes focused on his name.
�I miss him so much, mom.� I still think I�ll see him coming into my room, asking me if I have study for a test.�� A smile appeared on her face.
�I miss him too and I keep reaching for him every morning.�
�How are we supposed to carry on like nothing has happened?�� She asked looking over at her mother.
�We don�t honey, we lost someone who was very special to both of us.� But the world doesn�t stop turning just because your dad died.�� Kathleen pulled her daughter close.� �I know your father and he would want us to be happy and move on with our lives and that is what we�re going to do.�
Melissa wiped away a stray tear and smiled.� �You�re right.� We all need to move on with our lives.�
Melissa looked around the deck, glancing at the faces of everyone she loved.� Brian and Samantha were over by the food table and her mother and aunt were talking to Nick�s parents.� Everyone was here, everyone but Nick.� Apart of her wished was he, she didn�t want to leave things the way they were with him.
She glanced around once again.� No sign of him, maybe it was for the best.� Many things were said between them, some hurtful and some loving.� She still couldn�t let go of the image of Nick crying from her mind.� Melissa got to see a different side of him, one she never saw when they were younger.� It had pulled on her heartstrings to see him so vulnerable.
�How are you doing?�� Jen asked standing next to her cousin.
�I�m doing okay.�
�Are you looking for someone?� Maybe Nick?�
�I�m worried about him.�
�Did something happen?�
Melissa looked at her cousin and sighed.� �We had a huge fight; a lot of things were said, hurtful things.�
�And these hurtful things were said by you?�
She simply nodded.
Jen wrapped her arm around her.� �Don�t worry Mel, Nick will come.� I bet anything that he will be here.�
�What makes you think that?�
�That boy is crazy in love with you.� I wish I had someone who loved me that much.�� She gave her cousin a quick hug and then left to mingle.
�Mel!�� Samantha and Brian walked over to her.� �I�m going to miss you!�� Samantha hugged her.
�I�m going to miss you too, both of you.�� She smiled at them.
�Well, we are definitely going to have to visit you more.�� Brian grinned at her.
�I would love that.�� She brushed back her hair.� �Brian, have you talked to Nick today?�
�Um�yeah, actually a couple of hours ago.�� Brian looked around not seeing Nick.� �He should have been here by now; I wonder what is keeping him.�
�I know what�s keeping him.�� Melissa stated not looking at him.
�Hey honey, can you go get me a drink?�� Samantha asked sweetly to Brian.
�Sure, baby.� Be right back.��
�Okay, spill!�� Samantha asked once Brian was out of earshot.�
�Am I that easy to read?�� Melissa laughed, but Samantha didn�t.� �I had a fight with Nick.�
�Don�t worry, I bet Nick is on his way here as we speak.�
She took a deep breath and gave Samantha a smile.
�Sam, let�s dance.�� Brian asked reaching them.� Samantha looked over at Melissa.
�Go, have fun.�� She watched her two friends dance and smiled.� Brian and Samantha embrace and moved to the music.� They looked so happy together.�
Melissa headed inside, she needed to be alone for a little bit.� Her mind was racing with so many thoughts.� She closed her eyes and took some deep breaths.
�Hey.�� Melissa quickly turned around to see Nick standing in front of her.
�Hey.� I didn�t know if you would come.�
�I told you that you can always count on me.�� He walked over to her.� �What are you doing up here all by yourself?�
�I just needed a break.�
�Are you ready to go back?�
�Why?�
�I want to dance with you.�� Nick offered Melissa his hand.� She glanced at his hand and then at him.� Melissa laid her hand in his and he led her down the stairs to the party.� They joined the other couples on the dance floor as a slow song came on.
Nick pulled Melissa in close to him as they rested their foreheads against each others.� They looked at each other longingly as they swayed to the music.� His gaze sent shivers down her spine.� She couldn�t take the heat of his stare and moved her head so it was resting against his shoulder.� Nick held her hand against his chest as his other hand was on the small of her back.
He needed to be close to her, to touch, to feel her near.� He needed to take full advantage of this moment because he may never have it again.� Nick slightly shook his head to get rid of the thought.� He wanted to stay in this moment forever with her.� He could feel her breath on his neck and he closed his eyes once again.
Melissa slowly brought her face back to his and their eyes connected instantly.� It was killing her to be this close to him, but she couldn�t leave.� He took a deep breath, trying to control himself from kissing her.� She could feel his heart rate and it was racing, so was hers.
He looked into her eyes and softly stated, �You have no idea how badly I want to kiss you.��
Melissa took a deep breath and slowly backed away from him.� She reached the stairs and went into the house, Nick quickly followed her. �
