�Are you sure you want to do this alone?
I can stay, you know for moral support?�
�Thanks Jen, but I have to face this
on my own.� Melissa got out of the car and made her way up the
sidewalk. �I�ll call you later.�
Jen smiled and backed her car out of
the driveway. Melissa reached the front door and took a deep breath.
She knew what was ahead of her but it didn�t help to ease her nerves.
She opened the door and walked in. It was quiet as she shut the
door behind her.
�Mel?� She could hear her mother
reply.
�It�s me, mom.� Her mother
quickly wrapped her arms around her.
�I was so worried.� Melissa
hugged her back.
Melissa joined her mother in the kitchen.
The room smelled of her famous pancakes and bacon. She took in
the sense and it took her to when times were better, times when she
wasn�t in pain over Nick or her father.
�Have a sit honey and I�ll bring
over your breakfast.�
�That�s okay mom, I�m not hungry.�
�You need to eat.� She laid
a plate full of food in front of her.
Melissa knew what she was doing; she
was working up the nerve to ask about the baby.
�Mom, just ask me.�
�Ask you what?�
�Mom?� Kathleen stopped and
just looked at her daughter. At such a young age, she had endured
so much.
Kathleen sat down next to her.
�Why didn�t you tell me?�
�I was ashamed; you and dad had such
big plans for me. And a baby wasn�t one of them.�
�Oh honey, your father and I could
never be ashamed of you. You are our daughter.�
�Mom, come on. For years, all
you and dad could talk about was me furthering my education. Getting
my Bachelor�s degree from a top university, how could I tell you that
all your plans for me were ruin in one careless mistake?�
�I thought you and I could talk about
anything, including you and Nick having sex.�
�It only happen a couple of times.�
Melissa stated pushing the fork around her food.
�That�s all it takes to make a baby.�
�Mom, don�t you think I know that.
It actually happened to me. I lived it.�
�Honey, I don�t want to fight, I
just wish you could have talked to me.�
�I wish I did too, maybe things would
have been different.�
After taking a shower, changing her clothes,
and eating something, all that was left for Melissa to do was tell her
father the truth.
Everyone finally knew the truth behind
her leaving all those years and in some weird way it was a relief.
However, seeing the look in her mother�s eyes when she told her the
whole story killed her. That was the last thing she ever wanted
was to make her parents disappointed in her. It was a large part
in her decision to leave town.
She parked her car in the deserted parking
lot and slowly got out of the car. She walked over to his tombstone.
She stood there looking down at the stone, Melissa held onto the flowers
she was holding tighter. For some reason, she was scared and she
could feel her heart racing.
She took a deep breath and knelt down
so she was face to face with grave.
�Hi dad, it�s Mel.� She took
another breath. �I need to tell you something. Something
that I kept hidden from you and mom for years.�
She pushed back her hair with her hand.
�I told you and mom that I wanted to leave Fairview because Nick cheated
on me and I wanted to start fresh in Chicago. That was true, but
there was more behind that story that I didn�t tell you. That
I didn�t tell anyone, except for Jen.�
�The night of that graduation party
at Brian�s, was the night I found out I was pregnant with Nick�s
child. I was so scared, I mean I was eighteen and I was going
away to college. I was still a child myself, but I knew I couldn�t
end the pregnancy. My plan was to tell Nick and together we would
figure it out.� She sighed.
�But that didn�t happen, I found
him in bed with someone else. I just knew then that I couldn�t
stay here. I couldn�t disappoint you and mom.� Tears
started to well up in her eyes. �You were so proud of me getting
into the university and I couldn�t look you in the face and see your
discontentment in me. So I left and Jen was the only person I
told. She was there for me throughout everything.� She
hesitated.
�Even the miscarriage.� Tears
were flowing freely now. �I lost the baby after two months and
it killed me. I had just gotten use to the idea of being a mom
when she was taken from me.� She wiped away a tear with the
back of her hand.
�You don�t get over something like
that; you just learn to live with it. I was doing okay, and then I got
a phone call. A phone call that changed my life all over again,
I got a call that you were dead. And now I have to live my life
without you and it kills me. I should have told you the truth
and I�m so sorry for that, dad. I�m so sorry that I wasted
time that I could have spent with you by hiding a secret. A secret
that I knew deep down that you would have accepted. I knew that
you loved me and you would have loved my child, just as much as you
loved me. I know that now, I didn�t know that then. And
I�m so sorry, dad. I wish I could change the past, I wish you
were here with me.�
Melissa finally collapsed to the ground
as she sobbed. She was feeling a range of emotions and it was
all making her lightheaded. She needed to let it out and she didn�t
care who saw her, she had been holding onto all of this pain for too
long. After awhile, she wiped away her tears and focused on the
tombstone in front of her.
�I hope you can forgive me, dad.
Because I don�t know if I�ll ever forgive myself.� She laid
the white roses on top the stone. Melissa stood up and brought
her hand to her lips, kissing it and then resting it on the stone.
Suddenly she felt someone�s present with her. It wasn�t long
before she knew who it was.
�Mel.�
She wiped away the remaining tears and
brushed back her hair. �Goodbye dad.� Melissa turned
and started to walk away.
�Mel, stop.� She continued
walking not looking at him. �Mel, Mel.� Nick reached
and grabbed her arm to stop her.
Melissa quickly pulled away from him.
�What do you want?�
�We need to talk.� He looked
into her eyes.
�We don�t have anything to talk about.�
�I have a right to know about my child.�
Melissa just stood there, not knowing
what to say after his comment.
�Please Mel.�
She took a deep breath. �Fine.�
She walked over to a metal bench and sat down. �What do you
want to know?�
�We were going to have a girl?�
�No, I don�t know what we were going
to have.�
�But you kept saying she��
�I wasn�t far enough along to know
the sex of the child.�
�Then what makes you think it was a
girl?�
Melissa ran her hand through her hair.
�I had a dream that I was at the park, laying on blanket by the pond.
And I was watching this little girl feed the ducks some bread.
Every time a duck would take the bread from her, she would giggle.
Once all the bread was gone, she came running over to me yelling, Mommy,
I need more bread.�
Nick watched as a twinkle appeared in
her eyes as she talked about her child.
�She was perfect; she had this smile
that could light up a room.�
Melissa smiled at the thought of the
dream. �She had my dark hair and your blue eyes. She was
beautiful.� Her smile faded quickly. �I wanted to call
her Isabella, Bella for short.�
�Did the doctors tell you why you lost
the baby?�
�They said there was no real reason
behind it, that sometimes it happens. They told me that I would
be able to have kids in the future.�
�It must have been tough, to go through
that alone. I should have been there.�
�You didn�t know, Nick. Besides
I wasn�t alone, I had Jen.�
�But I was the father, I should have
been the one to comfort you after you miscarriage.�
Melissa stood up feeling uncomfortable
with the way the conservation leading. �What else did you want
to know?�
�If the baby had made it, would you
have told me?� Nick questioned her as he stood up facing her.
�Of course I would have, I would never
keep your child from you. You know how much my dad meant to me
and I would want my child to have a relationship with her father, no
matter how I felt about him.�
�How do you feel about me?�
Nick approached her, trying to close the space between.
Melissa backed away from him, but her
eyes never left his. �Nick, don�t. I�m only staying
because I feel that you have the right to know about your child.
But don�t think for one moment that things have changed between us
because they haven�t.�
�You aren�t innocent all of this
either Mel, you kept a huge secret from me for years.�
As much as Melissa didn�t want to agree
with him, she knew he was right. She kept her pregnancy quiet
for too long. No matter how she felt about him, she should have
had told him the truth.
�I know and I�m sorry for not telling
you. I should have told you.�
�Why didn�t you?�
�I was angry and hurt and�and�
I was eighteen and pregnant. And the guy that I was in love with,
my best friend, the father of my child was cheating on me with the town
slut.�
Nick rubbed his eyes; he could feel a
headache coming on. Everything was so messed up and he felt helpless
to fix it.
�Mel, if I had known, I wouldn�t
of��
�What Nick? Not cheat on me?
It�s all in the past and we can�t do anything to change it.�
�After everything that has happened,
my feelings for you haven�t changed. I know now that they never
will. I�m always going to love you, Mel. There isn�t
anything you could do or say to change that.�
�I don�t love you. Whatever
we had is over now.�
�I don�t believe you, I know you
love me. You can�t even look me in the eyes and tell me that
you don�t love me. The kind of love we have is something that
people wish for, a love that never dies and only gets stronger in time.�
Melissa looked away, trying to hide her
tears. She did love him and probably always would, but she couldn�t
trust him. What kind of a relationship can you have if you can�t
trust one another, plus he had hurt her on two separate occasions.
How could she endure that again?
�Just stop Nick, let it go. Its
over!�
�It will never be over for me. I will
love you till the day I die.�
�Well it was over for me the minute
you lied to my face.� With that Melissa turned and left.
Nick stood there watching her leave.
�I�m not giving up, Mel. I�ll
never give up.�
