Devin
1. Boot Leg Jeans: Maybe then he would get a free supply of them and stop cutting the bottom of his pant legs!
2. Hair Gel: He uses enough of it on those curls!
3. Fast Food: We just want to see Devin take a hella huge bite out of a Big Mac, just cause he's so adament about his healthy eating habits!
4. Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream: Same reason as #3!
Brad
1. Crayola Crayons: Just because it might make him realize there are 64 colors in the jumbo Crayola box! Black, though an essential color in one's wardrobe, is not the ONLY color that clothing comes in!
2. Hair Cuttery: He was in the "in between" stage with his hair for a long time...and at times, we wanted to drag him off to the salon for a trim or something!
3. Mouth Guards: Because when he wore one at the charity softball game we attended, he was too damn cute for words! Stop the cuteness, Brad! :-)
4. Pogo Sticks: Ever notice Brad does a hell of a lot of bouncing around while he's on stage?
Rich
1. Gold's Gym: He's the only one who's not ripped. Rich, we really don't mind, cause you're wicked cute!! But maybe the lifetime membership you may get out of the endorsement deal would motivate you! Besides, Cristin would love to see you take your shirt off one day to show her what you've been hiding!
2. Arthur Murray Dance Studio: We're feeling a testimonial coming with this endorsement deal! "I'm Rich Cronin of the group LFO. We're not known for our dancing, but guess what? After 10 weeks at Arthur Murray, even I have learned how to dance! *NSYNC WATCH OUT! "
3. Jock Itch products: Ok, this ones a bit nasty...but hey, the truth must be told! At the charity softball game we attended, Rich had his hands in his sweat pants a few times...that's as far as we're gonna go with this explanation! Note: WE ARE NOT STATING THAT RICH HAS MEDICAL PROBLEMS...lol...We're not trying to get sued for libel, people! There is no actual malice intended here. Just that all we could think of when he was..well..ya know..was this endorsement deal!
4. Karaoke Bar: Because he lip synched some of his parts in the home video horribly!! Note: We are not accusing Rich of lip synching the entire performance, but there are occasions where lip synching was required. On a few of these occasions, the quality was less than high!
5. Hooked on Phonics: Thanks to Steph's mom, we've decided to enroll Rich in Hooked on Phonics classes. Maybe through these classes, he'll learn:
a) "Wit-cha" or "wit-chu" are NOT words. (Example: What's a wannabe rock star to do, all I wanna do is be WIT-CHU.) In proper English, the phrase is "with you."
b) "Whore-nit" and "saw-nit" do NOT rhyme (Example: When you take a sip, you buzz like a WHORE-NIT, Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole buncha SAW-NITS.) In proper English, the correct words are "hornet" and "sonnet". And if you want to get really technical, his name is WILLIAM Shakespeare and he wrote 14 line poems. .
c) "Beh-beh" (Thanks to Nicole!): Again, this is not proper English. (Example: True dat BEH-BEH, Don't you know that I'm here for you, BEH-BEH?) In proper English, the correct word is "baby". Also, if you want to get technical again, it should be "TRUE THAT" instead of "True Dat"!
**Rich, honey, you get an A+ for effort, though!We love the songs as is! (It's humor, people!!!)
***Hopefully at the end of this program, Rich will be able to say, HOOKED ON PHONICS WORKED FOR ME! Picture the commercial with all the 5 year olds. Either Rich will have to be on his knees (which Cristin wouldn't mind) or they'll have to cut him off at the waist because the 5 year olds will get cut out of the picture if they go up any higher.
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