Disclaimer: Not that we would EVER want them to give up singing and performing...we just thought we would help them come up with a list of alternatives!
Brad
1. Mannequin - "Mr. Fischetti mostly just posed well." (NY Times review of 3/3/00 Irving Plaza show) Hence, Brad could work as a mannequin according to the a**hole NY Times critic. **(We don't share the opinion of this so called reputable journalist, we're just merely pointing out career options for Brad...and by the way, Brad honey, you weren't too off with the modeling career..and you pose with the best of them. Can we see that 6 pack again, please? *drool*)
2. Manager of McDonald's - He could return to his illustrious career of "Would you like to supersize it?"
3. Porn Star - He has a nice body...we wouldn't object to seeing him naked...end of discussion. Basically, this is purely for selfish reasons, but hey, it's our site...lol **Apparently, we aren't far off since he was volunteering to pose for Playgirl!
4. Airport Security - Be careful "ya might get arrested or somthin'"! (See LFO Live in Orlando video)
5. Bouncer (PUN INTENDED) - He just does that so well, I just don't know how well he'd actually be at the whole throwing people out thing in clubs.....but whatever, he can BOUNCE! (Courtesy of Sheri-Rich's Bitch)
Devin
1. Health food store employee or personal trainer - The guy's health obsessed and has an amazing body (as if you didn't notice!)
2. Free Loader/Professional Dreamer - Was Devin really doing much of anything before he joined LFO?
3. Ames "Department Store" employee - Go back to your roots. Ok, first of all, we have an Ames here...and not even Kathy Lee Gifford would let her clothes be sold there! And we wanna laugh at Devin in a turquoise smock! Sorry, we'd actually shop there to see Mr. Devin "I'm so sexy it hurts" Lima in a smock.
4. Calvin Klein underwear model - For obvious and purely selfish reasons, we wanna see a half nekkid Devin on a billboard in the middle of Times Square!
5. Fit Model for Jeans - Cause he wears his pants so well!
6. Chippendale's dancer - Cause GOOD LORD! was he was working it in the Longshot movie! **Update: According to the Playgirl interview, Devin would have no proble stripping down!
Rich
1. Manager of a Big and Tall clothing shop - Our first impression of Rich when we met him was "WHOA! HE'S HUGE!!" and trust us, neither of us are shorties. I'm sure the shelves would be stocked with a lot of dark denim and Adidas shell toes.
2. Advertising - Hell, he does it for free now with all of his pop culture references, why not go back to school like you planned and get paid for it? He could even write jingles. Rich, personally, we think Colgate, Abercrombie and Fitch, Tootsie Pops, Bubbalicious, Cherry Coke, Fun Dip, Scooby Snacks (yes, they do make them!), Slip and Slide, Marshmallow Fluff, etc. owe you a bit of cash for all your free promo!
3. Vegas Show - Well, he wants to be on stage 'til he's 95, let him pull a Wayne Newton and play to his fellow senior citizens! By the way, we will be sitting front row listening to him rap about Geritol, Depends, Fiber Con, Ben Gay, Efferdent, and Super Poly Grip.
3. Screen Writer - He could write "I Know What You Did 6 Summers Ago: The Final Installment" where Jennifer Love Hewitt is finally killed by the dude with the hook....and we can find out that Rich Cronin was the big dude with the hook the WHOLE darn time.
© 2001 Got comments? Additions? Email us!
