THE DRINKER'S ALPHABET


A - Alcohol: The key to surviving college

B - Beer: The most disgusting alcohol of all, but great for chugging

C - Class: What you're supposed to get up and go to after a Thursday night 
    party

D - Dancing: A favorite pastime of almost every drunk, usually looks
    pathetic

E - Emergency: The keg is empty or there is no one over 21 in your
    drinking party

F - Fucked Up: Signified by leaning over a toilet puking your guts out

G - Games: Anything that involves cards, dice, quarters, and chugging
    beers

H - Hangover: Reminds you of how great last night was and how much you
    drank

I - Idiot: The guy that spilled his beer on you and everyone else at the
    party

J - Jail: Where you'll end up after trying to either use a fake ID or
    stagger home

K - Kissing: What you'll do to anything that moves after 15 beers

L - Lord: Person you beg to get you out of every situation involving alcohol

M - Money: That which you no longer have due to too much partying

N - Not Again!: What you scream when you wake up beside someone you don't
    know

O - Officer: Person usually responsible for ending any party, tending to
    show up most often at parties where no one is 21

P - Pee: What you have to do every five minutes while you're drinking beer

Q - Quilt: What you puked on last night in bed and have to clean in the 
    morning (YUCK!)

R - Reform: What you promise God you will do while you're puking in the
    toilet

S - Sex: What you did with that person you met last night while you were
    drunk

T - Ten: The number of beers it takes ME to get drunk

U - Underage: Most of the drinking population at any given college

V - Vodka: The mother of all alcohols and the best way to get drunk in an
    hour

W - Worm: The part of tequila that reminds you of biology class tomorrow

X - X-Ray: How they can see into your stomach before they pump it

Y - Yourself: The one who drinks WAY TOO MUCH every weekend

Z - Zoned: Your condition for the next 12 hours following drinking