LETTERMAN'S TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY AT THE OFFICE, BUT AREN'T:

     10.  I need to whip it out by 5!
      9.  Mind if I use your laptop?
      8.  Put it in my box before I leave.
      7.  If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
      6.  I want it on my desk,  NOW!
      5.  HMMMMMMMMMMMM........   I think it's out of fluid.
      4.  My equipment is so old it takes forever to finish.
      3.  It's an entry-level position.
      2.  When do you think you'll be getting off today?

      AND NUMBER 1 THING THAT SOUNDS DIRTY AT THE OFFICE BUT ISN'T:

      1.  It's not fair... I do all the work while he just sits there.