ON MATHEMATICAL TRANSFORMS
A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.

ON PROBLEM SOLVING
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to
resemble a nail.  -- Abraham Maslow

ON MATERIALISM
He who dies with the most toys, is, nonetheless, still dead.

ON ECONOMICS
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

ON PUBLISHING OR PERISHING
I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has
printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
                                     -- English Professor, Ohio University

ON POETIC LOVE
When you're swimmin' in the creek
And an eel bites your cheek
That's a moray!
-- Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers

ON MODERNISM
Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two.  One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub
   with brightly colored machine tools.

Q: How many minimalists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One

ON MATERIAL SCIENCE
Character density:  The number of very weird people in the office.

ON EXTINCTION
Save the whales.  Collect the whole set.

ON LITERATURE
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly.  It should be thrown with
great force.  -- Dorothy Parker

ON HUMILITY
To err is human, to moo bovine.

ON PROPHECY
The meek shall inherit the earth -- they are too weak to refuse.

ON NUMBERS
Grabel's Law:  2 is not equal to 3 -- not even for very large values of 2.

ON WORLD POLITICS
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.

AND FINALLY, ON DRUGS AND DEVELOPMENT
There are two major products to come out of Berkeley:  LSD and UNIX.
We don't believe this to be a coincidence.