Web Surfers


The I wonder if the new Windoze driver is available yet serious user:

Sticks to the business sites only.  Has bookmarked various obscure companies 
who work out of Silicon Valley.  You never know when their stuff will become 
important.  Most likely to be found:  Attempting to make some sense of the 
Novell site, while trying to find a driver for Netware 3.11.


The Hey! What's that? casual observer:

Can surf for hours on end.  Has no idea where he is, or where he's going. 
Downloads and bookmarks everything.  Forgets half of what he's seen 10
minutes after being there.  The other half is forgotten with years of
extensive psychotherapy.  Most likely to be found:  Hanging around in Cyber
cafes in an attempt to pick up some good sites.


The Waaaheeeey! porn peddlar:

The most knowledgable about the Internet.  Knows where to find pictures of
various inocuous sexual acts depicted in JPEG format.  Can find that picture
of Terri Hatcher in the Superman cape.  Posts 18 erotic stories a day to
alt.sex.stories based on American sitcoms.  Has 18 megs worth of bookmarks
backed up, even though every single site is now obsolete.  Most likely to be
found: Waiting for someone to post an article in alt.binaries.naked-chicks
with a new free erotic site which will be closed down in about ten minutes.


The Everybody else is doing it conformist:

Hasn't a clue what he's doing.  Heard about the Internet on TV last year,
and decided it was the next big thing.  Went out, bought $31500 of computer
equipment, signed up to CompuServe, and has regretted it ever since, but
feels that the second he stops paying for it, it'll become vital to everyday
life.  Most likely to be found: In chat rooms.  Having spent months trying
to get IRC working, he is unwilling to leave.


The Mail me! Mail me! hard-working egomaniac:

Has his own home page, which he religously updates every week, with another 
pile of crap.  The rest of the week is spent looking for pornographic 
pictures (See porn peddlar above), and finding other funnies sites to 
bookmark.  Most likely to be found: Asleep at his computer at 4 in the 
morning, having spent the last 3 hours trying to think of something witty 
to write.