Microsoft Presents:  The Future of American Education


We all want the best for our children; safe playgrounds, best friends,
and the best education possible.  Over the past few years, computers
have become more and more integrated into the educational systems of
America. Reports show that kids are drawn to these machines and are
enhancing their learning capabilities by leaps and bounds. However, we
are not reaching everyone.

While some youngsters have no problems in learning to use a computer,
there are those that just don't seem to understand the language.  It
is with this in mind that we at Microsoft are proudly announcing our
answer to the educational future of these overlooked few, OS/Ebonix.

After visiting many elementary and junior high schools across the
country, and talking with teachers and students alike, we at Microsoft
believe we have a strong grasp on the lingo that is Ebonics.
OS/Ebonix takes what we have learned and applies it to our popular
Windows 95 Operating System, without trying to be vulgar.

No aspect of this OS was overlooked.  For instance, what was known to
Windows 95 users as the Recycle Bin is now known as "Da Can".  My
Computer is known as "Dis schitt".  Network Neighborhood is known only
as "Da hood".

The Start button has been replaced by the "Does Me First" button.  The
file structure will remain the same except that folders will be called
"stashes" and files will be called "schitt".

Error messages will be more descriptive too.  Whenever a program, now
called a project, crashes and must be shut down, the following message
will appear:

"Dis mo fo aint be jivin' wit da otha mo fo projects on dis schitt".

The sounds associated with certain events have also been changed.  The
Ah Schitt event (Default Beep) does just that, and the opening and
closing sounds have been replaced with The Jefferson's theme song and
Sanford and Sons theme songs respectively.

Microsoft believes that if our ideas facilitate the saving of at least
one child, our efforts will not have been in vain.  The future of our
country and the minds of our youth depend on the endeavors we pursue.

We at Microsoft ask you:

Where da fu** do ya wanna go 2-day?