Author's Note: This story is loosely based on the song that you'll find at the bottom of the page. All rights to the song are reserved to the publishers affiliated with the songwriters, as well as the record label the artist records with.
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JC sat alone in the hotel room, his head resting against the headboard. The television was on, but it was a station that didn't quite come in, so all that could be seen were wavy lines, and there was an occasional crackle of static. Otherwise, there was no noise, save the quiet sighs that came from JC as he stared off into space.
For two years, JC had been denying himself one of the most fundamental human needs. He hid his deepest desires from his family, his best friends, the entire world. He was too afraid of what would happen if he announced to them the truth about himself.
Joshua Chasez was gay.
Not only was he gay, but he had fallen in love with one of his bandmates. He had no idea how it had happened, or even exactly when. But suddenly, one day, JC couldn't be near him enough. Touches that weren't quite necessary, coming up with new poses during photo shoots so they could stand beside one another...JC was anything but subtle when it came to being near his secret crush. Funny how no one ever suspected, or if they did, they chose to ignore it.
I'm afraid to tell them, he thought. I trust them, I trust them with my life, yet I'm terrified to tell the people I love with all my heart how I feel, who I love. I especially can't tell him. He might hate me, and I couldn't live with that.
JC heard a faint knock on the door, and his hands began to shake. He knew who was on the other side.
I've hidden it too long. It's time to get it all out on the table, and see what happens. JC walked to his hotel room door, peeking through the peephone and smiling gently as he turned the knob.
"Hey Lance," JC said softly, taking his friend's hand, pulling him inside. "Come in."
"I got your message," Lance said, looking at JC curiously. "What's on your mind, are you all right?"
"That all depends," JC replied, taking a deep breath. "I have something to tell you, and I'm not sure how you're going to take it, but I have to tell you before I go completely crazy."
"Then just tell me." Lance sat down on the bed, his pale green eyes never leaving those of his friend.
"Lance..." JC trailed off, staring out of the sliding glass doors of the hotel room balcony for a moment before running a hand through his chestnut hair, absently scratching the back of his neck. "Lance..."
"Just say it," Lance said softly, his own heart racing at the things running through his mind as he watched JC's tortured features. He knows. He knows how I feel and he's going to tell me he can't be near me or that he...
"Lance, I'm gay."
Silence. JC took it as a bad sign and approached the sliding doors, opening them and stepping out to the balcony. He let out a yell until he was out of breath, before sitting in one of the plastic chairs, burying his face in his hands.
Lance quietly came out onto the balcony, resting his hand on JC's shoulder. "You didn't give me a chance to respond," he said softly, taking a deep breath to steel his nerves. "I'm gay too."
JC looked up, quickly wiping his eyes with the backs of his hands. Lance smiled cautiously, extending his hand and JC took it, smiling back.
Lance pulled JC out of the chair, his other hand bracing against the rail of the balcony. JC kept a firm hold of Lance's hand, smiling slightly. "There's something else I have to tell you," he whispered.
"And what's that?" Lance asked, his eyes wide with uncertainty.
"I love you."
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JC woke up the next morning with a smile on his face for the first time in what seemed like an eternity. As he looked down at the reason for the change in perspective, his smile only grew wider.
Lance was nestled against JC, his blond hair tickling the underside of JC's chin as his head rested comfortably on JC's shoulder. They were both dressed in only their boxers, and JC marveled at the feel of Lance's skin against his, something so intimate, something he never dreamed he would get to feel in such a way.
They had spent the night talking, and kissing. The first time their lips touched, JC knew he had been right in not keeping this a secret any longer. It was as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. The skeletons were out of the closet (no pun intended) and a sense of peace surrounded him.
JC held Lance a little tighter to his body, sighing softly. His right arm curved around Lance's waist, as his left hand idly rubbed up and down Lance's back. Lance stirred slightly, his eyelids fluttering gently before opening, a smile curving his lips as he realized his position. "Good morning," JC said softly. "I didn't mean to wake you."
"I'm more than happy to wake up like this," Lance replied. "How long have you been up?"
"Just a few minutes," JC answered.
Lance leaned forward, trailing kisses from JC's jawling to his lips, kissing them softly. JC deepened the pressure of the kiss, smiling against Lance's lips. "Is that going to be a morning ritual?"
"It can be if you want it to be, I have no complaints," Lance replied, snuggling against JC's chest again. There was silence for a moment. Then, "Hey Josh?"
JC felt his heart skip at the sound of his given name escaping Lance's lips. "Yeah?"
"I love you too," Lance said softly. "I didn't say that last night, and I wanted to make sure you knew. I've loved you for a long time but I didn't know what you'd think if I told you. Then when you told me, I was so floored that you felt the same way about me that I didn't know what to think. So now I'm telling you...I love you."
"I know," JC replied honestly. "I felt it the minute you took my hand out on the balcony, and I feel it more every second. There's no way I could doubt that this is real."
"Do you think the other guys are going to notice something is different between us?" Lance asked, lacing his hand with JC's as they remained in the bed.
"If they do, we'll tell them the truth," JC replied. "I'd shout it off a rooftop if I could. This is the real thing, true love, and anyone who can't accept that..."
"We won't even worry about that," Lance interrupted, kissing JC on the cheek. "I love you, Josh."
"I love you too, Lance."
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"Empty"
Performed by Terri Clark
Maybe it's been a little too long
Holding it in, trying to be strong
Funny the things we bottle up
Come streaming out when you feel enough
There is a trust the cautious will lack
Now that we've touched there's no holding back
I want to call out for love 'til I can't breathe
I want to stare at the truth 'til I can't see
I want to pour out my soul 'til I'm empty
Empty
When only flesh and bone remain
I'll hold you close, then start again
Feeling nothing but a sweet release
When the ghosts are gone from inside of me
I've tried to fight it but what can I do
There's something deeper that surrenders to you
I want to call out for love 'til I can't breathe
I want to stare at the truth 'til I can't see
I want to pour out my soul 'till I'm empty
Empty
When I touch you, when I hear you
How can I doubt when everytime I'm near you...
I want to call out for love 'til I can't breathe
I want to stare at the truth 'til I can't see
I want to pour out my soul 'til i'm empty
Empty
Empty