Pandemonium reigned over what would have been a quiet and peaceful morning, with very loud music coming from Youji's apartment and Omi banging at the door. "Oi! Open up, Youji. You've been there for a week already--make that a week and a half."

"Go away." Youji's gruff answer came audibly through the door, despite the noise. "I'm sleeping."

"Yeah, Omi. Don't worry `bout him; he does that all the time...sleepwalks, too." Ken said sarcastically. Omi ignored him, clearly in distress.

He began knocking at the door again. "Come on, Youji-kun... Please open up."

"That's right, honey, come out there. This is Natasha; I just went to the parlor...had my hair done and-oh-I bought a new dress, too, for our date tonight...remember?" Ken spoke in a falsetto, girly voice only to be whapped on the head by Omi.

"Itai~!" he rubbed his head. "You're not supposed to do that! I'm older than you."

Omi tossed a glare at his lover. "Older but not wiser. Just be serious for a minute!"

Ken's expression turned solemn. Then he began crying and banging at the door. "I beg you, Youji... *sniff* For the love of God, you don't have to suffer alone... *sniff* We're here to help you; we're your friends, your family. Please...don't shut us off..." Ken sobbed even harder. Omi sweatdrops.

But the only reply from Ken's "dramatic" performance was the loud music inside the room becoming even louder.

Omi stared angrily at Ken. Sarcastically, "Good work, Ken-kun...just great..."

"What did I do?" the former soccer player answered, trying to look innocent as he wiped off his fake tears. Omi scowled at him.

"You're not funny."

Ken smiled sweetly at him. "Yeah...I know... I should have been a..." He poses. "A drama actor."

"Shut up, you two... I'll handle this." A deep voice behind them said.

The startled two turned around. "Aya!"

Omi looked obviously relieved. "Thank God you're here. I'm so worried that Youji-kun might be sick. He hasn't eaten anything or went out of his apartment for the past few days."

The redhead went up to the door. Without looking at the other two, "Go prepare him something to eat...I'll talk to him."

"But..." Omi started hesitantly, but Ken began to drag him away.

"C'mon, Mother Goose, let's go get the food."

As the two made their way downstairs, Aya silently stood there staring at the closed door for a few minutes. "Open the door Youji or I'll break it down and kill you." He shouted, but there was no answer.

[I try but I can't seem to get myself
to think of anything but you
Your breath in my face,
You're wondering whose kiss
I taste its you, I taste the truth]

Inside his room, Youji lay in his bed smoking a cigarette as usual. 'Thank God Omi and Ken stopped banging at the door.' His attention turned back to the music. 'I hate this song!'

Just then he heard Aya's threat.

[You know what I came here for
So I won't ask for more...]

'Spoke too soon...K'so! The worst has yet to come..' Youji thought. He got up and turned the volume of the radio down. He swayed a little and leaned against the door. 'Damned headache!'

He took a long draw on his cigarette before speaking. "What do you want?"

[I wanna be with you
if only for tonight
to be the one whose in your arms
to hold you tight
I wanna be with you
there's something more to say
There's nothing else I want more
than to feel this way
I wanna be with you, yeah]

Aya repeated his threat. "Open the door or I'll kill you."

Youji took a deep breath before opening the door. He blinked several times to adjust his vision to the sudden light. "Empty threats will get you nowhere, Aya my man."

Aya raised a slender crimson eyebrow. "Then why did you open the door?"

'Because you know I can't refuse you anything.' Youji wanted to say but he remained silent. Instead he stepped away from the door and took another drag at his cigarette.

Aya entered the room and almost choked from the thick cigarette smoke that filled the room. He walked across the room and drew open the curtains then the windows. "What the fucking hell are trying to do? Suffocate yourself to death? And stop smoking that...that stuff will kill you."

"You're looking pretty good yourself." Youji said, smirking.

Youji's vision suddenly blurred and he began to collapse when Aya caught him before he even fell to the floor. Aya carried him like a sack of potatoes to his bed. He gently lowered the larger man down onto the mattress then laid down next to him.

[So I'll hold you tonight like I'm with you
right through my heart, forever more
and I savor each touch that I wanted
so much to feel before
to feel before
How beautiful it is
just to be like this]

Aya spoke up first. "What's happening to you, Youji?"

That single question meant volumes to Youji. It's not an everyday occurrence that Aya would ask you about your well being. At least Youji now knows he cares. It would have to be enough-it has to.

Both remained silent and stared at the ceiling.

Youji crushed his cigarette on the ashtray on his bedside table. 'This is it. You've gotta tell him-even if it kills you.' He takes a deep breath. "I'm in love, Aya..."

[Oh, baby, I can't fight
this feeling anymore trust me crazy but I try too
so call my name, take my hand
can make my wish baby your command, yeah]

Aya sighed audibly. "So...the great Youji Kudo met his match. You must've been hit pretty hard...that's the reason for your fasting?" He chuckled softly and whispered. "Who's the lucky lady?"

It was quite obvious that Youji was very surprised; more like shocked. He's never seen Aya show any emotion except anger before, but to chuckle no less. And a compliment? From Aya? He must be dreaming.

"It's not a lady... A man... I-I'm in love with a man..."

Deafening silence. Even Mandy Moore decided to end her song. Youji was expecting Aya to burst out laughing (well, almost...he did chuckle a while ago). He waited but none came. The lack of response from Aya's part is making him crazy.

Tears spilled out from golden eyes. Youji began to laugh despite those tears. "Funny, isn't it? I can't believe it myself. It still shocks me until now. It's bad enough to get involved in a relationship with our type of job. But to actually fall in love...with a man... God really works in mysterious ways."

"Shhh..." Aya faced Youji and silenced him by placing a slender, sword-callused finger on his lips. "Just stop...there's nothing wrong in loving another man." He murmured, violet orbs looking sadly into golden ones, and wiped away his tears.

Youji was once again surprised that a hard and ruthless man like Fujimiya Aya can be capable of showing such tenderness. He held his breath. How could such a simple touch from him, a cold katana-wielding assassin, make his heart beat faster and send shivers down his spine? Not that a touch from Aya was always simple. Even if it's just a pat on the back, or accidental body contact, it always left him mushy and weak-boned inside. 'My God! Does he know that he's...'

Aya took his handkerchief and moistened it with his tongue. Tipped up Youji's chin and lightly dabbed the kerchief to his dry and chapped lips.

'That's it! Damn it all to Hell!' The last fragile threads of his control snapped and without thinking what the consequences might be, he leaned closer and kissed Aya with all the passion and love he felt for the fiery-haired assassin that he could no longer hold back or deny.

It seemed like an eternity passed by before Youji drew away from Aya's unexpectedly warm and soft lips, and stared at him intently, hoping, praying... But then he saw cruel comprehension enter those cool amaryllis eyes and realized his worst fear has come true.

Aya roughly pushed Youji away, stood up and, if looks could kill, Youji could have turned into ashes with the look he gave him. "Is this one of your jokes, Youji? If it is, I don't like it one bit."

Youji stared at him dumbly. 'He doesn't know... God, he doesn't know...' He rubbed his hands over his face in frustration and annoyance. 'How can he be so dense?!'

He stood up also and sighed. Then he faced Aya's cold glare. "Do you really want to know?"

"Can barely wait." Aya replied, annoyed. There was something in Youji's voice that's making him feel uncertain.

"The truth?"

"Aa..." But his mind says different. He has this unshakable feeling that things will never be the same again.

Youji slightly turned away. "Who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?" His voice softened. "You're afraid... afraid of what you're feeling."

Silence. You just have to hand it to Aya to make you feel like you're talking to a wall.

The eldest Weiß sighed. "You know, just forget it. you're not ready yet."

"Then why the hell did you ask me in the first place if I wanted to hear the truth if you're not going to tell me anyway!?!" Now, Aya was really pissed off-inwardly afraid that what the older man was saying about his feelings were true.

"Because you can't handle the truth, goddammit!" Youji shouted, once again facing him. "You almost went crazy when you found out that Omi's a Takatori! And even now you're still unable to accept that fact yet!"

Aya was unable to react at once...the only indication of his anger is his clenched fists and the burning fury in his eyes. "That's totally uncalled for. This is not about me...it's about you!";

Youji involuntarily shivered from the iciness in Aya's voice and eyes. Better tell him now...why delay the inevitable? 'It's now or never. No guts no glory.' Youji cleared his throat.

"No, Aya... It's about US, and I care about you a lot. And I know you somehow feel the same, b-but that's not the only thing I feel for you... I want you-more than anything this pathetic world could give. That's why I...you...we..." he raked his fingers through his hair in indecision and started pacing.

'Should I go on? ...Damn! Why do I now have trouble saying these things?! I should know better, I've been wooing girls since I could talk...but this is different. It's not just someone-this is Aya. And he's a ,man...that's something new in itself.'

Aya frowned even more, if that was possible, his jaw clamped so hard from impatience. "Just spill it out!!"

The long-haired man stopped from pacing and stood in front of Aya. He took a deep breath before speaking once again. Slowly, "What I'm to say is... I'm in love with you."

Minutes of tense silence passed; each waiting for the other to say something or make a move, any move.

Aya felt something squeezing inside him, pressing against his stone-cold heart.

'This isn't happening. This couldn't be true!' He shook his head dazedly, letting Youji's words sink in, but he was still thinking slowly; mind dulled with shock.

Youji, aware to Aya's every expression and movement, mistook this and with a groan sank down onto the bed, his blonde head held in his hands as he stared morosely at the floor.

"Ai shiteru, Aya. Doesn't that mean anything to you? I have been half-crazed and a klutz since knowing you.

"I won't lie, that I loved you at first...geez, I don't even know the meaning of the word. But I wanted you...then things kinda get out of control. I always find myself thinking of you, dreaming of you, until you became an obsession to me. I wanted you with a need bordered on obsession.

"I can't concentrate on our missions anymore. I couldn't make a decision; and if I do, they only make matters worse. I was so confused. I was so jealous of every thought of yours that wasn't mine." He stood up and faced Aya, with only a breath's space between them.

"All my life, I never did something right for myself, never thought for my own, never said anything...all...all...so right.

"But there's one thing I did right for myself and that's when I fell in love with you... Aya..."

Aya didn't know what to say. Even if he did, he didn't say anything. It's all so sudden. Maybe Youji's right after all; he's not ready to hear this. He needs some time to think this over.

He was save from answering when Omi knocked, but the young blonde didn't enter. "Oi, Aya-kun! Guess what? That hospital called and said they need you. Your imouto's awake--and asking for you! I'll go call the hospital and tell them you'll be right over." And without waiting for a reply, Omi left.

Maybe from the expression on his face, Youji knew what's going to happen; Aya hates it, but he had no other choice.

"I better go... Aya-chan needs me." he said more harshly than he intended. He was feeling so many warring emotions that he doesn't know what to feel anymore.

'We'll finish this when I come back..." he silently promised Youji and himself--a promise that he has no intention to break. Aya left Youji's room, but not before he saw the hurt and anguish in those jewel-like eyes.

Minutes passed by. Youji heard Aya's car as it left the garage. "Aya..." he whispered. "I--I need you, too."

He felt burning tears streaming down his cheeks and heard the painful, shattering sound of his heart breaking... You just have to hand it again to Aya to get his point across just by saying so little words.

'Fuck you! Aya, for making me love you...'

His vision fading to black, Youji passes out.

end