These all are quotes in which I thought were funny and amusing, stood out, or just happened to strike me. Above all, they give a good example of the great, quality, writing of "L.A. Firefighters".
"Stay wet or we're toast!"
--- Jack's instructions to his crew inside a fully involved tennemant building on fire
Dick: "Jack? What's the story, Jack?"
Jack: "She's fully involved, Dick! I'll keep my people around just long enough to get the building clear!"
Dick: "You want backup?"
Jack: "Not on your life! I'm having way too much fun!"
"Is it me, or do you smell something burning? C'mon Sister, time to go."
--- J.B. when in a burning tennement building, he finds a woman just sitting in bed
"I know the Lord made your body a temple, but you've got a few too many in the congregation."
--- J.B. to an uncooperative, heavy-set woman, whom he's rescuing from a burning building
"You make another crack about someone else on my team, your gonna have to have my foot surgically removed from your ass!"
--- Jack to Phil who made a racist remark that upset Ray
"Santa Annas blow, every psycho thinks he hears his mother calling."
--- Jack to Bernie when he learns that the latest fire was arson
Jack: "Okay. Looks like we got ourselves a bleeder."
Erin: "How bad?"
Jack: Bad. It's one DRT and one circling the drain. I don't know about the others. Paragods are on their way."
Erin: "Man, I hate this."
J.B.: "What, bleeders?'
Erin: "Yeah. I mean it's always kids, y'know, or old ladies. One minute they're drivin' along, talkin' boyfriends or recepies and the next they're dead. Or so banged up they never get over it. And what's the last thing they see? You and me banging on their chest tellin' them it's gonna be all right when it isn't."
J.B.: "God's will, Sister."
Jack: "Talk to him lately, J.B.?" (to Erin) "You know, he does, y'know? Talk to God. At least he claims he saw Him when those propane tanks went up over in Carson."
Erin: "Oh yeah? What'd He look like, J.B.? Did He have a beard and stuff or was it more of a pillar of fire kind of thing?"
J.B.: (to Erin) "Lucky He loves you as much as I do."
"He absolutely doesn't know who I am. It's like he thinks I'm the third sex, or something."
--- Erin to Jack about her fire chief father
"Rose Pierre dammit! Come down here right this instant!"
--- lady calling to her snake which climbed up a tree
"I can't do a thing with him ... He's been up there for more than an hour. I tried giving him a big fat rat to eat and everything, but he just won't come down!"
--- A lady who's pet snake is caught in a tree, in which she called the fire department to help get down
Jack: (to snake lady) "What do you want us to do?"
snake lady: "Get him. -- Well, don't look so shocked, you are the fire department. Look, if it was the Finklestien's fuzzy little persian, you'd be up there in a second, and I pay my taxes, just like they do."
"Did someone teach you to be an oficious jerk, Cerrone?! -- Or is it genetic?"
--- Bernie to cop, Detective Cerrone
"You feel how you feel. Conscience doesn't come with instructions."
--- Erin Coffey
"You just - you could've been more careful, Phil. Could've played it by the book, you knew the drill, why didn't you follow it? I lied to you, you know? I once told you I wouldn't cover for you anymore ... But I still am. It's just too much to handle, Phil I ... So I'm gonna let you go, Phil. I'm gonna let you go ... You know, I'll tell you what was my fault, was my responsibility is that I knew you were a coward ... And I ignored it. Son of a -- I shoulda had your ass thrown out of the department, you'da never forgiven me but damn - You wouldn't have been ... been lyin' there ... And that I'll have to live with."
--- Jack at Phil's grave
Flame: "How long, Lenny?"
Lenny: "I don't know yet."
Flame: "I'm a woman, Lenny. I've got needs. And one of them is sex."
Erin: "Hm, I remember sex."
Kay: "Mm, I wish I did."
Mike: "You don't want this to get around, Lenny. I could ruin it for the rest of us."
Flame: (to Lenny) "It's me, isn't it? I've -- lost my bloom, or something."
Lenny: (to Flame) "No, your bloom is just fine. You've got plenty of bloom."
Dick: "Will you all please shut up? Forty years, I've never seen the end of theis movie."
Flame: (to Lenny) "Then what?"
Lenny: (to Flame) "I just want to check this celibacy thing out, y'know? As an experiment, I mean."
Flame: "Shooting monkeys into space was an experiment. Liz and Larry Fortenski was an experiment. But this..."
Erin: "Is something I don't want to know about."
Flame: (to Lenny) "What I want to know is where you got such a stupid idea. I mean, who put you up to this?"
Lenny: "Nobody."
Flame: "Lenny."
JB: "Anybody for bean curd pie? It's fat free." (gets up and leaves)
Lenny: (to Flame) "I got a mind of my own, y'know."
Kay: (to Flame) "Don't believe a word of it, sweetie. None of 'em do." (to all) I -- am going to bed." (looks at Mike) "Say something smart and I'll rip out your lungs with my bare hands."
Mike: (to Erin) "She'd do it, too. Wouldn't she?"
Erin: (to Mike, smiling) "Yep. -- And enjoy every second of it."
"You know, there's gotta be a better way to meet girls."
--- Mike to J.B., after helping to rescue a female bicyclist, who fell into a reviene
"Give 'em a minute and they'll start spraying to mark their territory."
---Kay referring to Jack and Mike who insist on competing in everything
Mike: "You really 'got it' for him, don't you?"
Erin: "Who?"
Mike: (grinning widely) "Cap'n Jack."
Erin: (trying to surpress a huge smile) "If that were true -- and I'm not saying it is -- that would really bother you, wouldn't it?"
Mike: "It would really intrest me."
"You know, what really disgusts me? Not that you don't approve of who I am or what I do, but that you'll say anything or use anyone to get what you want." (muttering) "You're the biggest drunk I've ever known."
--- Erin to her father after he uses her mother as an excuse for Erin to not take chances at fire scenes
"Why don't you guys just drop your pants and measure 'em?"
--- Kay, to Jack and Mike as they continue to compete in everything
Erin: (to Jack) "I put in for a transfer."
Jack: "Why?"
Erin: "I can't work with him anymore."
Jack: "Who?"
Erin: "My father."
Jack: "Well -- I'll talk to him."
Erin: "It's too late for that."
Jack: "What, I'll just tell him to back off."
Erin: "The Blessed Virgin could put in an earthly appearance to tell him that and give her an arguement."
"It's him or me, and they'll bury him with his turnouts on."
--- Erin about her father, the chief
Erin: "JB, what is it about cops and guns? You ever notice they always seem to have their hands on 'em?"
JB: "Yeah, Freud would have a field day."
Erin: (to new cop, Kent Sunburg, about vetran cop, Krauss) "You stick close to Krauss here. You know, he's known in all the better donught shops in town. That is a man who never met a cruller, he didn't like."
Kent: (to JB) "She always like this?"
JB: (acts confused) "Like what?"
"Has anybody got a moist towelette?"
--- Tucker, a paunchy boy who was just freed from a dirty pipe at a construction site by the firefighters
"Duty calls. That's the rumor, anyway."
--- Jack
Ray: (to Jack, while reading a book) "Were you close to your father?"
Jack: "What makes you ask that?"
Ray: "I don't know. Just -- something I was thinking about."
Jack: "What are you reading?"
Ray: "Oh, J.B. gave it to me."
Jack: "Like, Lenny wasn't bad enough?"
"Careful. He's a groper."
--- Erin to a nurse taking Dick's blood pressure, when Dick's drinking had led him into a hospital
"Doctors. Who died and made them God?"
--- Dick
Flame: (to Lenny) "It was on Ricki Lake. They had this girl who's boyfriend wouldn't sleep with her. And do you know what she found out?"
Lenny: "Nuh, uh."
Flame: "That he was a woman. -- Ricki was totally on the girl's side."
Lenny: "Which girl?"
Flame: "The real girl."
Lenny: "Well, I thought they were both girls."
Flame: "I don't know, why I talk to you."
Erin: "JB, I'll always think of you as my own personal weight bearing wall. I couldn't think of a nicer guy to die with!"
Kay: "C'mon, let's not get morbid here."
JB: "No, no, you know it's typical of a near-death experience -- fascination with immortality --"
Jack: "What?"
JB: "White light at the end of the tunnel -- angel voices speaking to you."
Kay: "JB, how do you know this?"
Lenny: "He heard it on Montel."
JB: (nods, makes a motion of "yeah, there you go")
Kay: "Uh, do you want some cereal?"
Jack: "Huh?"
Kay: "I - I could make you something."
Jack: "Oh, no, no, cereal's cereal's good, yeah, cereal's fine."
Kay: "Great." (brings out a two bowls and and a huge bag of cereal, plops it down on the table)
Jack: "Kinda big."
Kay: "Yeah, it's cheaper that way."
Jack: "Yeah? Yeah, I - guess it would be." (digs in, literally) "It's good."
Kay: "Great for carb loading."
Jack: "I love carbs."
Kay: "I think I'll kill myself."
Jack: "Yeah, me too."
(scene expresses some of the awkwardness after two collegues sleep with each other, the morning after)
Erin: (to Jack) "Tell me how much you love me."
Jack: "Hey! How you feeling?"
Erin: "Ugh, like a ceiling fell in on me. How much do you love me?"
Jack: "Don't start. Lemme look at you." (tries to examine the scratches on Erin's face)
Erin: "No actually, I feel really good this moringing."
Jack: "Yeah?"
Erin: "Yeah, its like, everything seems - more vivid. Like my senses are heightened. The world is, I dunno - looks better, tastes better, it smells better, it..."
Jack: "I'm thrilled."
Erin: "And if you don't tell me how much you love me, I just might not tell you about the really important decision I made, that trust me - you are gonna like a lot."
Jack: "You've decided to take a vow of silence."
Erin: "No. I'm not going through with the transfer."
Jack: "Really?"
Erin: "How can I after last night?"
Jack: "Why? What do you know about last nigh?"
Erin: "You saved my life..."
Jack: "Oh! Yeah."
Erin: "I mean, I may be a lot of things Jack, but disloyal is not one of them. I mean, there I was, lying under all this rubble - dying - Down to my last breath - and do you all I could think of was? You."
Jack: "Oh, God help me."
Erin: "Not you, you. All of you. Kay and Lenny and Ray and JB. Even Michael."
"Excuse me, I think I might need some medical assistance."
--- a guy who walks into the firehouse with an arrow in his back
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