My dreams, my life, all an endless silence. From the beginning to the the endless end all has been the same timeless silence. Searching for a destiny, looking for a path, I find myslef wandering aimlessly through life still wondering what direction I am going. I love, I hurt, I enjoy and I hate. I am a festering ball of emotions that is ready to explode at any time. Sometimes I have to take a step back and just wonder at it all. Me, the people, the animals, the stars, the whole of everything, and think; WOW, do I really matter? Is there really a purpose out there great enough for me? There must be. I cannot believe otherwise. When I feel, and being an emotional being, that is what I do best, I can feel everything. I can hear the ant crunching on leaves. I can hear the wind sing sweet haunting love songs. I can feel the trees breath and I can feel the presence of my own Great Spirit stronger than ever. I know what I am but so often I forget. I get so caught up in life that I forget that there is more to life than just living. I do not want to just live this life, I want to experance it! I want to feel it! I want to BE! For in all there is in the realm there is me. I know that I am in and apart of everything and therefore I am powerful. My loves and hates carry through all creatures and the loves and hates of all creatures carry through me. We are connected and we are great. We are Gods and if we could only see what that really means. If we could just open up our eyes and really see, open up our hearts and really feel and open our spirits and really know... I know that the wisdom of the universe is within me as it is within all of us. But I feel such a strong pull to understand it that I sometimes drive myself crazy. If only, if only, if only... If only what? What would I, a mear mortal wish for? Would I wish that I could fully grasp the ramifications of my spiritual immortality? Could I truly handle such knowledge? Yet, isn't that what we seek day after day? Inbetween the hustly and bustle of life aren't we all secretly looking for the greater meaning? And we are convinced that it is a mystery you know. We call it the "Great Mystery". I think we call it that because the name seems so profound that it makes it almost OK not to achieve full enlightnment of it. Because it is such a "Great Mystery" it is ok not to try to hard. I find this to be a cop-out. I really do not think that it is such a great mystery. Actually I think the answer is a lot simpler than any of us relize. For isn't it the obvious that usually escapes our attention? Many people have a trained eye for detail, but in looking so hard for the little things I think we really miss out on the bigger picture. Isn't the whole tapestry just as important as each thread? And when each thread is woven into place it is the tapestry that we sit back and admire. Well, all I have to say is that even though it eludes me sometimes, "I Know", and if you stopped looking so hard you would Know too.
Copyright 1998 Lady Mahina Noita
Not to be duplicated in any form without express premission from the author. |
