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| We play punk rock. No emo/glam/post-prog-hardcore/indie-rock/Alt-fag shit. |
| THE PUBLIC WEIGHS IN ON The Neo-Nasties: "The NEO-NASTIES are the only band that can knock the REGULATIONS Lp off the turntable in my cave." -Osama Bin Laden "I'd walk 100 miles to drink their briny bathwater" -Avril "A.T.M." Lavigne "You guys makes Dirty Bird sound like 'Dirty Dancing'" -Dan Scum (local impressario). "I have seen the future of music and their name is The NEO NASTIES. They can call me nigga."-Stevie Wonder. "They rolled me in flour and then looked for the wetspot, then made me a woman." -Rita MacNeil "W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-what?" -Dylan Fucking Rysstband "That Ashtrey makes my cock so hard a goddamned mountain lion couldn't scratch it." -Police Chief Jamie Graham "I'm so poor I've gotta jack off the dog just to feed the cat, but I've always got money when the Neo-Nasties are playing!" -Mike Reno "The door to my office is always open if you guys wanna talk, or just hang out."-Mayor Larry Campbell "I had no idea that many unwashed fingers could fit in my vagina and anus. Thank you NEO-NASTIES!!"-Gov. General Adrienne Clarkson "I masturbated while the NEO-NASTIES fouled my goodlady-wife and I'd do it again! Bravo!" -John Ralston Saul |
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| Ruining it for everyone-with pride, since 2003. |
| DEMO still available! If you didn't buy it, burn it, borrow it, or find it on the floor of the Astoria you can still get our "White Powder" 8 song CD demo. And let's face it, if you don't have it, you're a douche. Send $27.95 plus $8.95 postage and $6.95 handling for your copy today, or email eatmyfuck@beer.com and we'll send you a free one! |
| SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: the NEO-NASTIES continue to dedicate all our spare time to helping-not hurting-the community. Starting June 14th our bassist, Al Jazeera, is offering FREE PELVIC EXAMS and FREE BREAST CANCER SCREENING. He's going to wash his hands (he says) and discretion is assured. Hey, it's up to you-you wanna die of tumours or some shit? Of course not! It may pinch a little, but the NEO-NASTIES are looking out for YOU. Interested women should meet Al at the dumpster behind MacDonald's at Commercial and 10th. |
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| CLASSIFIED ADS! Meet exciting singles, sell stuff, fence stolen goods. |
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| FAQ about the NEO-NASTIES: 1. What's your fucking problem(s)? ANSWER: Answering dopey questions, looking at your stupid faces, inhaling your rancid breath. 2. What's with the name? ANSWER: We love the Neos, we love the Hot Nasties. Duh. 3: Are you some kinda nazis? ANSWER: Nein! 4. How about some band history? The band was started by Balsinger Singh in 1974 and has survived numerous image makeovers, style-shifts, membership shuffles, internal power struggles, coups, putsches and violent uprisings. Below is a chronological glance at the rich musical history of true Canadian legends! 1974-1976: Sex'n'Funk'n'Sweat'n'Boogie'n'Love'n'Tenderness Band 1976-1978: Balsinger's Boogie-Oogie-Oogie Holocaust-featuring Gary Mendowicz 1978-1979: Gary & The Gobbers 1979-1980: Parallel Circuits 1980-1983: Fromage Decollatage 1983-1988: L.A. Panty Stainz 1988-1991: 187ComptonNiggazInThaMuthurfuckingHouze 1991-1996: Vedder-Spreader: A Tribute to Pearl Jam 1996-1997: The Swingin' Ring-A-Ding-Dong-Daddy-O's 1997-1998: The Sympathetic Non-Threatening Males 1998-2003: G.Lippy & Tha Familia 2003-Present: The NEO-NASTIES 5. How many members have passed through your ranks? Over 120 members have passed through over the last 31 glorious years and the NEO-NASTIES currently contains no original members what-so-ever. 6. How is that possible? Mind your own business. 7. Have your ex-members gone on to fame and fortune? Nope. Not even one of them. In fact, all ex-members perished under mysterious, or hilarious, circumstances. For instance: Gary Mendowicz was entombed in concrete during the construction of EXPO '86...they say you can hear his bass guitar plonking away mournfully if you walk past Science World late at night. 8. Hey, what happened in Victoria? Uh, nothing. Why? 9. Plans for the future? We'd love to play at Logan's Pub again. |
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