"DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH"

EXCERPT FROM PASSENGER RECORD...."Passenger packed cat in bag. Cat went down belt in baggage. Passenger claims she didn't know cat was in bag. Bag was almost empty. Cat had breathing mask on it and there was water in bag. Passenger denied boarding, rebooked. Please make sure she hasn't packed cat again."
"Gosh, kitty, how did you get there? What a smart kitty to wear your oxygen mask and everything, but how did you plan to drink your water with the mask on?"

ANOTHER EXCERPT.........1. "Passenger called and said he lost his ticket. I advised him of Lost Ticket Procedures and he was extremely demeaning, threatening and vulgar."
2."Passenger advised me that his 4 year old son ran his ticket through a paper shredder. I advised him to bring what's left of the ticket to the airport and fill out a lost ticket application. Passenger became very very irate and vulgar, then abruptly hung up."
3."Passenger called saying he was in a freak accident and he damaged his face. Doctor advised him not to fly. Passenger has been advised of change fee. He became vulgar and said he would fly and would sue airline for any damage to his injuries."
4."Passenger now advises he was in fatal car accident. Doctor advises him not to fly. He will sue us if we make him fly. He wants us to change his reservation to a week later. Have advised passenger fare rules, plus add collect if change ticket. Have advised that if he chooses to board flight, it would be by his choice. We will not force him to fly, but he will have to follow all rules and restrictions to change ticket to later date."
5."Passenger now giving several stories run together. Became very threatening and vulgar. His call was released due to his language."
6."I advised passenger it was his choice if he cancelled and changed his reservation. All fare rules would apply and dr's note would not waive fees. Have advised we are sorry he was in freak accident. He wasn't happy, started to get angry. He was advised we have right to refuse transportation."
7."Passenger has been advised he can't change ticket and waive all charges. He is calling from airport where he was advised the same thing. He started to get upset, but hung up when advised of rules, etc."
8."Passenger presented at airport with ticket in hand and head completely wrapped in gauze. He stated that he had surgery today and that doctor advised him not to travel for a week. Preceeding remarks clued me not to waive anything for him."
And he still had to pay the penalty to change. Maybe we should have given him a discount for effort?

MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES

One passenger was trying to make sure she wasn't late checking in for her flight. She knew that it was flight number 603 leaving at 6:05pm or flight number 605 leaving at 6:03pm. She seemed to think that the 2 minute difference would make all the difference in her 1 hour advance check-in time.

On Christmas evening, I took a call from a gentleman in Philadelphia trying to find his loved ones in the airport. Their flight had been on the ground for 2 hours and they were nowhere to be found. Could we help? After researching the information given me, I found that the reservations were to Pittsburgh, not Philadelphia. I called Pittsburgh, paged the passengers who were very confused as to why their son wasn't there to meet them. For two hours, they had been wandering around Pittsburgh airport, never realizing they had flown to the wrong city altogether. We took care of the problem and sent them to Philadelphia, reuniting them in a few hours.

A passenger called to reconfirm his flight from Pittsburgh, PA, USA to Frankfurt, Germany. After the normal formalities of this, he proceeded to ask me, "Is this a full size airplane?" Now I am admittedly a smart-aleck, and it was all I could do to bite my tongue as I replied, "Yes, M'aam, this is a large jet aircraft." Wouldn't I love to have replied that we sliced the aircraft length-wise, and were planning to fly only the left-hand side on this date.
*wicked evil grin*

Making seat assignments is always a challenge. One passenger, making sure that his family was seated together, stated, "Rows 13 and 14....they're directly behind 4 and 5, right?"

I was trying very hard to explain the time change to one lady. She was flying from Orlando,FL(EDT) to Houston,TX(CDT) and was delighted that it only took 1 hour. Actual flying time is approximately 2 hours, but times quoted are local times in the individual airports. The return flight seemed to take 3 hours. After about 10 minutes of rewording multiple explanations of time changes, I was unable to make my passenger understand. In complete frustration, she asked, "Is there any way to avoid the time change?"

Thank goodness for the introduction of ticketless travel!! One passenger actually called me to ask, "If I lose my [paper] ticket, is that a problem?" With ticketless travel, it is no longer a problem. Amazingly, passengers assume that because they lose their tickets, it is the airline's responsibility to replace their lost item free of charge.

Seat assignments? I wish we never preassigned seats. The normal passenger cannot understand why we do not have the specific seat he wants available when he calls. I have been asked "to move those people so I can have the seats I want."

I don't remember what prompted this question, but it is still one of my favorites. "Are Raleigh (NC) and Norfolk (VA) the same place?"

"Don't I get a senior discount on my frequent traveler ticket?" A frequent traveler ticket is a FREE ticket. I'm still trying to figure that one out. How does one discount a FREE ticket? Are we to PAY the passenger to fly?

OLD TRAVEL INDUSTRY STORIES

"I had someone who wanted to stay at the Bob Newhart Inn in Connecticut. When I explained that the inn was fictional, the customer became very irate and insisted, 'I know it is real, I see people check in every week!'"

A good friend of mine asked a passenger if she would prefer aisle or window seating. Her indignant answer,"Aisle, of course. I just had my hair done."

A client called a travel agency inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost information, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take a train to Hawaii?"

Then there was the lady who wanted to go to Capetown. Her travel agent started to explain the length of the flight and the passport and visa information. She interrupted, stating, "I don't want to make you feel stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." The agent, in turn, without trying to make her look like the stupid one, calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response......"click."

A secretary called her travel agent looking for a hotel in Los Angeles. She gave various names off a list, none of which the agent found. He finally had her fax him the list. He had to laugh when he received a list of hotels in New Orleans, LA. She thought LA stood for Los Angeles and that New Orleans was a suburb of L.A. Worst of all, when he called her back, she was not even embarrassed.

One agency told of a client of theirs who called, furious with them, regarding a Florida package they had booked for him. Asked what was wrong, he stated that he, "expected an ocean-view room." The impossibility of that was explained, as his Orlando destination was in the center of the state. He replied,"Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."