This little tale takes place during V3D. Zarkon is masquerading as a good guy, Lotor is ugly, Amalgamus is in charge of the Alliance, and our heroes are color-coordinated with their Lions. It is that OTHER most wonderful time of year on Planet Arus, and in the Castle of Lions, preparations have been made to ensure that this will be the absolute and positively BEST Superbowl ever.

For weeks Nanny has been stocking the kitchen (and barricading it from our light-fingered boys) in preparation for the traditional barbecue. Princess Romelle, Sven, and their baby, Leif (the absolute and positively cutest kid in the galaxy), are journeying from Planet Pollux for the big event. And Hunk has shut himself up in his workshop, laboring day and night, modifying and "improving" Princess Allura's giant-screen television, adding such essentials as instant replay, 3-D projection, and MONSTER surround sound!

In fact, the only thing to mar the day is the East Coast/West Coast sparring going on between Lance and Keith. Tension has been mounting since the announcement that the opposing teams would be the New York Jets and the San Francisco 49ers, and as the Day approaches, tempers are approaching the boiling point.

Morning of the big day finds Allura in Hunk's workshop, sitting wearily on a stool, her pointed little chin propped up in one hand, watching as the broad rider of the Yellow Lion does what he does best-tinker. Although at any other time the scrutiny of the beautiful golden-haired princess would turn Hunk into a blushing tangle of nerves, he is in his element, here, and pleased by her interest. "Just a few more minor adjustments," he's heard to mutter as he moves around his contraption, adjusting a screw here, untangling a wire there. Allura sighs.

"Hunk, I don't get any of this," she confesses. "I don't mean about the game itself, although I suspect I'll never really 'get' that, either. I mean, a bunch of hulking guys killing each other over a ball..." She shakes her head. "It's everything else that goes with it! This holiday isn't mentioned anywhere in any of my books on Terran customs and traditions. And WHAT has gotten into Keith and Lance?"

Hunk glances up from behind the TV. "Have they come to blows, yet?"

"No," she says. "Not yet, anyway. Pidge had Cheesy and Cheddar hotwire the locks on their doors, so they're stuck there at least until Sven and Romelle arrive." She grins. "But that hasn't stopped them! They've both turned their radios up to full blast. Hunk, I'm going crazy! If I have to hear that Jet song one more time..." She shakes her head woefully and begins playing with the knobs on Hunk's own portable radio, searching for a decent station. "And Keith fires right back with some song about San Francisco... I just had to come down here to escape! You call this a holiday??"

Hunk sets down his wrench. "Princess," he says, with mock severity, "I've been waiting all year for this day, and I'm not going to have anyone ruin it-for me, or for you."

"Romelle," she whispers, glancing nervously at the guys, "I have a confession to make. I don't get this at all!"

Romelle clutches Allura's hands, relief flooding her pretty face. "Oh, thank god!" she cries. "I thought it was only me!"

Meantime, Lance has picked up Leif and is holding him at arms' reach above his head. "Hey, if your name is Leif, how come you're not up in a tree?"

Leif blinks down at Lance in bewilderment.

While Nanny manages the barbecue, a game of touch football (which quickly becomes tackle football when Keith tires of Lance's taunts) ensues.

The Game begins.. Allura and Romelle watch politely for a while, trying to follow along. But the boys grow tired of explaining the difference between a field goal and touchdown and the girls eventually grow bored and retire to Allura's rooms to discuss girl talk and to puzzle at the strange behavior of their men. Pidge is torn between entertaining his primal male instincts to watch the game, eat potato chips, and guzzle beer (well, soda, for him), and his hormonal urges, which prompt him to take advantage of the situation and make himself useful to the lovely princesses.

On the couch in the den before the giant TV, Hunk is seated in the middle, marking the boundary between Lance's Territory and Keith's Territory. Leif trades laps, plays with the tiny wind-up Blue Lion "Hunkle" made for him, and tries to follow everything.

As Amalgamus announces the start of the game (he's pompous enough to interfere!) and gives a boring little speech, the Voltron Force, united against a common evil, boos in unison. Leif, who is only about sixteen months old, and parrots everything he sees, throws a handful of potato chips at the TV.

Keith, smiling, laughs, "Good shot, kid. You're now an honorary Voltron pilot."

As Lance's team fouls and Keith's team takes possession of the ball, Lance lets loose a stream of expletives both highly imaginative and singularly blood curdling.

SVEN: "Hey!"

Keith glances over the vast expanse of Hunk into Lance's Territory. "Wanna watch what you say in front of the kid, Lance?"

Lance sticks out his tongue and hoists Leif up to perch on his knee.

Nanny storms in, red-faced and scowling. "All right! I heard that! You dirty Space Explorers with your uncouth manners!"

Lance points at Leif. "It was the kid! I swear! Right kid?"

Leif, confused, nods vigorously. Nanny strangles down a sharp retort, turns on her heel, and stomps out. Lance grins down at Leif. "Thanks, kid." Pointing to his cheek, he says, "Gimme one, right here." Leif leans up and plants a very wet, very sticky kiss on Lance's cheek. Lance wipes his cheek, peeved. "Ew! He slimed me! Sven!"

Sven reaches out and lifts Leif away from the spluttering Lance. The game progresses until Lance's team bungles yet again. Lance opens his mouth-then, after a quick glance at Leif, closes it quickly on another spurt of colorful metaphors.

Leif chirps, like a baby bird, "Fuck!"

Sven clamps his hand down over his son's mouth and blushes furiously. Lance, guilt-stricken, falls backward off the sofa, whimpering, "Sven, I've ruined your kid!" Keith is murderous. Nanny comes storming back in.

"All right!" she thunders. "Lance-"

"It was the kid! The kid!" Lance points frantically, clinging to the sofa as he struggles to recover his feet.

"Hmf! A likely story!" Nanny seizes Lance by the ear and hauls the maligned Voltron pilot out of the room, huffing, "You're going to sit with me in the kitchen until you can clean up your language!"

Anyway, the game progresses. Lance is returned to the den, after much groveling and promises to be on his very best behavior for the rest of his life. San Francisco and New York are neck and neck. It's time for the half-time show. One of the singers, a devastatingly beautiful alien female, strikes Lance as familiar-but not in a good way, unfortunately. He can't imagine why. The woman starts singing-and her voice has a strange, hypnotic effect on the viewers in the stadium. They are spellbound! As the VF watches in bewilderment, the singer's disguise melts away to reveal...Witch Hagar! She waves her staff at the mascot, who is transformed into a super robeast who stomps over the field and snatches the dumbstruck Amalgamus. Lotor leaps out of the wings, cackling, and Zarkon, obviously in on the plot, descends from his podium.

The Voltron Force watches...and then bursts into peals of hysterical laughter. Eventually they do stagger to action. They leap into the Lions and head for Earth, where, after an exchange of corny lines, they take out the robeast.

Actually, Hunk, in the Yellow Lion and in a tearing rage that his game has been interrupted, KICKS the robeast-still clutching the hapless Amalgamus-all the way into the end zone. Score!

The robeast is turned back into its former mascot-self...somehow. Lotor and Haggar flee, Amalgamus is put back, and Zarkon professes his innocence. The VF beg to differ, but no one believes them. (Hunk kicks Amalgamus again.) That taken care of, the game resumes, San Francisco wins, and Lance grudgingly reconciles with Keith...and reminds him that come the World Series, the Yankees are going to kick some serious ass. Keith brushes him off, as usual (although Lance is probably right!)

Back on Arus, the Force and their friends hold a celebratory marshmallow roast in honor of a job well done. And Allura gives Hunk a quick kiss for his heroism.

THE END
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