Smiling back at the good times
I think why
How could I be so stupid
But when I look back at
What made me start it
I think
Why couldn't I do it
Why didn't I finish it
Did I want to live
Or did I want to die
I just couldn't make up my mind
My friends helped in the beginning
But as I got more serious about it
They started to ignore me
It hurt really hurt
I felt so alone
So scared and alone
The pain wouldn't go away
It just had to stay
As my friends drifted farther from me
I got more serious
I thought that if they
Didn't like me
Nobody would or could
The summer was hell
So I pulled myself back into my shell
I lied to my friends
And they came back
But they didn't want
To talk about OUR past
You see I wasn't the only one
But I was the first
They blamed everything on me
Everyone except Tyson
He blamed himself for what I did
Now that I've met someone
I'd really like to know
I want to come out of my shell
But I'm scared
Everyone else has turned me
Away so why wouldn't he
Is it because he has his
Own problems that aren't known
Or is he like the others
Always saying things like
"I'll be there" "Call whenever
You want to" "I don't care how late"
"I'll help I really will"
And not mean a word
My life is full of hatred self hatred
Why
I don't know
Maybe I just figure
Why not
