The One I Thought I'd Never Find

*~* Chapter 6 *~*

It was a week before Aj was to leave for the European tour and we hadn't spoken since his Birthday, which was three and a half weeks ago. I was so mad at him, but it didn't matter because, everything reminded me of him. The truth was that I missed him. Pictures of him were everywhere. His clothes were all mixed up with mine so all of my clothes smelt like his cologne. I was in my room searching through my closet when I came upon the shoe box where I kept all the poems Aj ever gave me. I sat down on my bed and emptied all the papers out and read them all. Then I came upon the poem he gave me on our three-month anniversary. I read it and began to cry. I looked down and realized that I was still wearing the ring on chain that he gave me that night. I didn't realize that I still wore it even though me and Aj were on the rocks. I went outside and sat on the porch, lying on the floor next to me was an envelope. It had no writing or postage stamp on it. But there definitely had something in it. I opened the envelope, took out the paper and read it.  

My heart has stopped
And will never beat again
Until you're back here with me
Until you're in my arms
I cannot breathe
My lungs will get no air
And will stay so
Until I can see you're smiling face
Until I can feel your baby smooth skin
My eyes are shut
I can see no light
Until I know you're mine again
I cannot do anything
But feel so sorry for what I've done

Aj knew just what to write to make me cry. I got up and went inside. I picked up the phone, called my mom and asked her to go pick Jonathan up from school. Then I walked out of the house and headed to Aj's place. I rung the doorbell and Aj soon answered. I got your poem, I said. It was beautiful. I really am sorry, Aj replied. There's no excuse for what I did. Your right there's not, I said. But that doesn't mean there shouldn't be a second chance. Aj wrapped his arms around me. I love you, he said. I love you too I replied.

Now Aj was in Germany on tour with the rest of the guys. On February 21st  Nadean had her baby. A little girl that she named Anjalya. I went to the hospital a few days later to visit her and the baby. Hey Dean I said, where's the baby? Oh, the nurses took her to go take a bath. Well, I got her something, I said giving Nadean a little pink bag. She opened the bag and took out a little lacy pick baby pillow with her name sewed on to it, and a small teddy bear and had the words, " My first teddy" sewed on it. Aw these are so adorable Nadean said. Thanks Angelle. No problem I replied. So where's Mark? He went to exchange all the baby boy stuff he bought for baby girl stuff. He's not back yet, he must have bought a lot of stuff, I said. 

It was April 1st, the day before my Birthday. I was in the bubble bath enjoying my last day as a 22- year -old. The phone rang and I answered. It was AJ. Hey baby he said. Happy Birthday. Aj my Birthday isn't until tomorrow, I said laughing. I know, but I just wanted to say it now, just in case I don't get a chance to call tomorrow. Oh all right, I said. We talked for a while before Aj had to go practice for a concert. I got out of the tub, got dressed and watched some TV. I was flipping through the channels when I saw something that caught my eye. It was MTV news and the announcer was talking about Justin. It seems like Backstreet Boy Aj Mclean and Nsyncer Justin Timberlake have the same taste in women. In an interview Justin admitted that he is currently dating Kelly Davis, former girlfriend of Aj Mclean. And that the same Angelle Love-Joy that Aj's with is the former fiancé of Timberlake. I picked up the phone and called Nadean. Dean you won't believe this. Justin's dating Aj's ex girlfriend Kelly. What! Nadean said. Ya'll just tangled in one big Love Square. It's like take a hit and pass it on. What next, Aj will leave you for Justin? Shut up Dean! I said. Maybe he's doing that to make you feel and Aj feel jealous. Both of us? Why would he want to make Aj jealous of him? Because Aj and Kelly used to date, Duh! Nadean said. Urgh! I groaned. When will he stop? The next day I woke up to the sound of the doorbell. It was the UPS guy with a package for me. I signed for it and went inside. I flopped down on the couch and ripped open the box. It was from Aj. In the box, was a video that I put in the VCR. Aj had sent me some of the Tombelerone chocolate bars that I absolutely love. He sent a few other things. When I got to the bottom of the box, there was a smaller box and a card. I opened the card and read it. Happy Birthday Baby, it said. I hope you like your present. Don't forget to watch the tape, Love Aj. I picked up the box and opened it. In it was a pair of studded diamond earrings shaped like the letter "A". I wished I could see Aj right then so I could give him a big kiss. I searched for the remote and turned on the tape Aj sent. It was about all the stuff that they are doing on tour. I gotta let Afiya see this I thought. She'll probably want to take to school for show and tell. Just then the doorbell rang. I went to answer it. It was Justin. Justin what are you doing here? I asked. Jonathan is not supposed to stay with you until next week. I know I just stopped by to say Happy Birthday and to give you these, he replied giving me a flower basket that he had hidden behind his back. Thanks I said giving him a kiss on the cheek. You wanna come in? Ok he replied. He came in and we talked for a while. I never knew I could act civil toward Justin. But then the tables turned. You know if you ever need someone to talk to, you can come to me right? Justin said. Thanks Justin I replied, that's nice of you to say. Just then Justin leaned forward to kiss me. What are you doing? I snapped. I'm sorry, Justin replied. I don't know what came over me. Uh Justin I think you should leave, I replied. No, hold on Justin said. I have to get something off of my chest. What? I said. I know, that we're not together anymore, and you're still mad about what I did, but I just wanna say¦ I can't stop thinking about you. I can't help it, but I still love you. What about you new girlfriend "Kelly"? I replied. Besides you know I'm with Aj. I know, but I can't help how I feel about you Justin said. Kelly and I just went on one date, and that was to promote her movie. Just hear me out Angelle. Sorry but you lost your chance, now get out of my house! I said opening the door. Fine Justin replied hanging his head. You have a Happy Birthday. When Aj got back to Florida, we spent every-waking moment together. I told him about the whole thing with Justin. He was a little upset but he got over it. Everything was fine. The best part was that the second half of the American tour was cancelled, so Aj wasn't going anywhere for a long time. One night I was sitting at home watching TV. Jonathan was at Justin's place for the weekend and I was all alone. The doorbell rang, I went to answer, It was Aj. Hey baby, I said giving him a hug. What are you doing here? I asked. I thought you and the guys had a photo shoot tonight. Yeah but we finished early. Great I said. Are you hungry? I got Pizza, McDonalds, KFC and Chinese Food in the kitchen. Whoa! That's allot of food, I think I'll go and get some Mickey D's, Aj said. I took some pizza and we ate and watched TV. Afterward, we talked for a while. Uh, Angelle, I have something to ask you. What is it baby? Aj pulled a small box out of his pocket and got down on one knee. Angelle, I love you so much, he said. And I would love it even more, if I could spend the rest of my life with you. So I was just wondering if you'll marry me? Oh, Aj yes! Of coarse I'll marry you. Aj took a platinum diamond engagement ring out of the box. Look at the inscription, he said.  I read the inscription. "Blessed am I for I have you". 

It was November 22, 2002. And me and Aj's brand-new baby girl Jessica Monet (mon-nay) Mclean was born. A week later, we came home. That day Nadean brought Anjalya over and we had a mommy's day in. Oh my gosh, she is adorable, she looks just like Aj, Nadean said. Your gonna wake her up I said, tickling Anjalya. But if she's anything like Aj, there could be a nuclear war going on and she won't ever budge. Just then Aj popped his head in the room. Hello ladies, he said. So how are my four out of five favorite girls doing today? Just fine I said. And who's your fifth favorite girl? I snapped playfully. My mom, duh! Aj replied. Angelle we really have to talk. Ok, I said getting up. Nadean could you watch Jessica for a minute? Sure. Aj and I went down to the living room. What's wrong? I asked. Well nothing bad. It's just that I was thinking about the wedding and us, me, you, and Jessica, and Jonathan. What about us? I asked. Well you know how I have a house, and you do too, he started. I just wanted to know where you think we should live. Oh, Aj I thought it was something important, I replied. Not that it isn't important. But I thought that we'd live at your house cause it has more rooms. But I'm not sure I want to give up mine. Can we talk about this later? I asked. Well I gotta go anyway, Aj replied. Aj don't forget to pick Jonathan up from school and to get some similac for Jessica. Yeah, yeah, yeah Aj replied kissing me, and then he left.
Things were finally starting to settle down, and now I could finally start preparing for the wedding. I spent most of my time either at the gym or with the wedding coordinators. I called Nadean. Dean I'm so happy, I'm finally back to my normal size. We gotta go to David's Bridal. Ok, Nadean replied, but who's gonna watch the kids? My mom, I replied laughing. I got ready and went to pick up Nadean, and we went to my mom's house. My mom came to tears when she saw Jessica. Awh Angelle she's beautiful, she said picking her up. Hello Jes-see. Do you know I am? I'm Gramma, yes I am. Gramma! She cooed, taking Jessica into the house. We left and headed to the bridal shop, and not to any surprise, we spent hours there. But I found my perfect dress. It was long and flowing, no sleeves, with sequenced arm wrap and a pair of long gloves. Wow, you look beautiful, the clerk said. This dress is the one Nadean. Ok, I want it! I said.

It was a week before the wedding, and gifts were coming to both my house and Aj's house. Wow, I can't wait to open all these presents I said. You know maybe if we put Jessica in the middle of all the wrapping paper, she'll never cry again. The doorbell rang. Urgh! It's probably the UPS guy again, I said getting up. When I opened the door, I was standing face to face with Justin. J, Justin what are you doing here? I just came here to give you this, he replied. He handed me a bag with the word congratulations written all over it. Thanks I replied. I also came over to tell you something. Now I see that there's no chance in hell of us getting back together, but I just want you to know, that I love you, and I always will, cause you were my first love. I just want you to know that I'll never forget you. See ya he said kissing me on the forehead. Who was that? Aj asked. Justin I admitted, he came over to give us a gift. Careful Angelle, Aj said. That could be a bomb. Shut up I said hitting him playfully on the shoulder. I wanna open it now; I sat sitting in my favorite chair. I opened the bag and pulled out probably the best gift I got. It was a plaque that said, "Bless the happy home of Aj and Angelle Mclean."

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