I Need You Tonight
Part III
When Brian arrived, all of us from Underage met him at the gate.
"How ya’ll doin’ ya’ll? Ya’ll doin’ alright?" He had the thickest country accent that I have ever heard.
He was the same height as A.J., had brownish-blondish hair, and sparkling blue eyes. Overall he looked like a really nice guy. And after being with him for about five minutes, I found out that he’s so funny and really sweet. It seemed like we had nothing to worry about. Except his voice.
We took him back to Kevin’s house where he tried out for us. Hearing him sing was so amazing. He sung all of our worries away. We didn’t have to worry anymore whether or not his voice was the one we were looking for. He sang a little bit of a Boys II Men song for us.
"We don’t even talk anymore. And we don’t even know what we argue about. Don’t even say I love you no more, cause sayin’ how we feel is no longer allowed. Some people will work things out, and some just don’t know how to change. Let’s don’t wait till the water runs dry. We might watch our whole lives pass us by. Let’s don’t wait till the water runs dry. We’ll make the biggest mistake of our lives, don’t do it baby." When he had finished singing, no one said a word. None of us knew how to react to Brian’s wonderful singing. The first one of us to come to was Kevin.
"So? What do you guys think? Is he in?"
"He’s in!" We all shouted in unison.
"Well, that’s great! Thank ya’ll so much! Now, we need to get to know e‘chother!" Brian said in his hick accent.
"You do? Me too!" Nick said, excited that he had something in common with Brian. He sat back and eagerly waited for Brian to say more about himself.
"I also love Babyface and Boys II Men, that’s why I sang that song. And I guess that’s pretty much it." He shrugged and smiled.
"Well, since we know all about you, I guess we should tell you something about ourselves. I guess I’ll go first. My name is Danielle Evans, you can call me Dani, I’m fourteen, I grew up and still live in Tampa, Florida, I like to play basketball too, and I love to listen to anything good on the radio." I stopped to make sure I wasn’t forgetting anything. "Oh yeah, I’m going out with Nick." I smiled. I love saying that!
"Okay. I’ll go next," Nick said. "I’m Nick Carter, I’m fourteen, and like Dani, I live in Tampa, I love playing basketball, and I love to play in the lake out behind my house. And I love going with Dani." He smiled over at me with such a happy glow I burst out laughing.
"My turn. I’m A.J. McLean, I’m fifteen, and I grew up in Tampa too. But I don’t really like to play sports or whatever. I love to shop and I love to flirt!" A.J. smiled and Brian offered a hand to slap while laughing.
"And what ‘bout you?" Brian asked Howie.
"I’m Howie Dorough and I’m nineteen. I love water-skiing and working out. And I guess that’s about it."
"Well now, we all know a little somethin’ about e’chother so now we can go onto other business. Like what ‘bout this group ya’ll are doin’? What’s the dill with that?" Brian’s accent was so hick, but so cute! He was really nice and I knew that everyone else thought the same thing.
While we explained the group to him, I thought about something. Now I really was going to be the only girl in the group. I was kind of hoping that the other voice was going to be a girl so I wouldn’t feel as surrounded by guys that I felt now. But now that there were more guys it would be harder to pick out the songs that we were going to sing. It wasn’t too hard to find a good duet to sing at the talent show, but now it would be harder because we have five guys to share a one guy part and me to cover all of the girl parts. Sometimes I think it would be easier to have an all the same sex group instead of mixed. But how should I bring it up that I kind of wanted to just be part of the backstage crew and not one of the upstage performers?
Six first place awards, three second place awards, and twenty two performances later, I brought up the subject of leaving the group.
"But, Dani, you can’t just leave now! We’re doing so good! We need your voice!" Brian sounded better now without his accent. He’d been living here in Florida with Kevin for a little over a year now and he had slowly lost his accent.
It’s the Christmas of 1994 and we had a full schedule of performances that we had to do. Parties, restaurants, churches, school tours, the works. And as much as I didn’t want to, I knew that I had to leave. I had heard just the guys singing one day and it had made my decision complete. They had sounded so perfect without me.
"I have heard you guys sing and I think that without me you could make it." My eyes started to well up, thinking about how much we have all grown together as friends and as band mates.
"Dani, you have to stay, no matter how good just us guys sound. We need your voice!" Nick pleaded with me. He lowered his voice and rested his forehead against mine. "And I need you. I need you to stay with me." He kissed my nose softly. "Promise me you’ll stay."
"But, Nick, I can’t."
"Okay, then promise you’ll stay until the start of the new year. And then after that you still have to help our group, even if that means your backstage or in the audience. Promise?" I looked up and Nick’s eyes caught mine and held. He had me.
"I promise." He kissed me and wrapped me in a hug.
"Dani, thank you!" A.J. exclaimed. "We really need you. I’ve been listening to some of the other competition and they’re really good." A.J. gestured to the stage. We were backstage waiting for our turn to perform at the annual Orlando Christmas Pagent and all of the competition would be hard to beat. We were listening to this one girl about Nick’s and my age sing. She was amazing!
When she finished and was walking off stage, the annoucer said, "Give a round of applause to the young lady who just sang for you, Britney Spears!" He waited for the audience’s applause to settle down before announcing the next act. "And now it’s time for a group of six very talented teenagers! Underage!"
"That’s us. We’re on." Howie whispered, and led the way onstage.
I looked out and the crowd. There were over ten thousand people there, our largest crowd yet. A rush of excitment went through me as thousands of pairs of eyes turned to look at us.
Nick leaned over and whispered to me, "This," he nodded toward the crowd. "Is what you’d be missing if you left." And just then the music began, signaling the start of yet another first prize winning performance.
I knew that I’d miss the excitement of performing on stage, the thrill when the announcers shouted our name for the first prize winners, the group. But it just hasn’t been the same. I love performing and I love applause, but I also love kids. What does that have to do with anything? Well, I want to start studying medicine because I want to be a children’s doctor. And lately I haven’t had time for anything other than the group. I needed time to study. And to do that, I had to leave the group. The start of the new year would also mean the start of a new life. No more group, no more performing, no more announcers. But I promised myself and Nick that I would still be a part of the group, even though I wouldn’t be singing with them.
"I think it would be better this way. I’m sorry Dani." Nick kissed me for the last time and turned to walk away.
"Nick, wait!" I got up from where I was seated on the bench and walked over to him, stopping when I was right in front of him. "Nick, you don’t know what you’re throwing away. I love you so much. And I need you. I need you, Nick." My throat closed and I got choked up. "You don’t know what you’re losing. You just don’t know." I whispered, then turned and walked away from him. I walked down the path of the park. Nick had taken me here just to break up with me. He said that he hadn’t been with anyone else for a while and that he wanted to play the field and that it would be "better this way". But did he know how much he had hurt me? How much that I wanted him to stay? How much I loved him? How much I needed him?
All the memories of me and Nick filled my head and the dam that had been built to block the tears had been broken. I ran home as fast as I could so no one in the park could see me cry. I needed to get to my bedroom where there was safe territory where I could let out my pain and sorrow.
Once in my room, I went around the room, gathering together everything that Nick had given me and everything that had anything to do with Nick. There was a large pile on my bed when I was through gathering. I sat at the top of the bed and sifted through the pile. I ran into the first note that Nick had ever written me, the one that said, "Danielle, will you be my girlfriend? Love, Nick" and first card he had ever sent me for my birthday. I found presents that he had given me ages ago when I was in the third grade. And I found the many dried roses and other assorted flowers that he had sent me.
A couple years back I had decorated a small box where I kept all of the notes that Nick wrote me. I found it and opened it. Inside I found all the most recent letters that he had written me, each one ended with "Love you, Nick". I sat there for hours, reading each letter in turn, remembering exactly when and how he had given me each letter. I had been there reading for two hours when I came across one that really touched me:
Dear Danielle,
I never got to write you a letter during third period
because of what Ryan and his boys did to me. But
here’s your letter. I’m writing it in the nurse’s office
because as soon as the Coach saw me, he sent me
straight to the nurse. Oh well. I keep thinking about
our plan for our group. Have you thought of any
names yet? I haven’t. But I can’t wait to get home
so we can call up A.J. McLean and Howie Dorough.
(I finally figured out their names!) Hey I’m gonna write
a song/poem for you, ‘k? Here goes:
Open up your heart to me
And say what’s on your mind
I know that we have been
Through so much pain
But I still need you
In my life, this time
Hey, Dani, I’ll write the rest of it later cuz the nurse
wants me to go to the boys locker room and take a
shower. She gave me some clothes to change into.
I’ll talk to you tonight.
Love you,
Nick
His song was so right! It described our relationship to a T! But if he had felt that way only a year ago, why didn’t he feel the same way? I know that a year is a long time, but feelings that strong just don’t disappear! So why was he leaving me now? Was there somebody else? There had to be, because Nick said he hadn’t dated anyone besides me for a while and that he wanted to play the field, so that meant there was someone else! I need Nick, just like the song says, but how can I make him still need me?
I thought up plans and schemes to make him love me again, but nothing sounded right. After thirty minutes of unsuccessful brainstorming, I went downstairs to watch some TV. Maybe a little bit of The Simpons will cheer me up, at least a little bit. As I settled myself on the couch I realized that this was the episode where Homer and Marge Simpson get in a fight so Homer goes to a bar in a different city and meets a really pretty, young country singer. He ends up becoming her manager and spends a lot of time with her and Marge gets jealous and thinks he’s cheating. I’ve seen it a million times but it still makes me laugh. Homer’s just so...
That’s it! Jealousy! It’s the oldest trick in the book but it works! Jealousy is so easy to do! And I know just how to do it too! An old crush that I had will be more than happy to fill in the spot for my new boyfriend. And boy will it make Nick jealous!
"Oh, baby, you’re so sweet!" I titled my lips towards his and kissed him, long and sweet. "Thank you so much for the roses!" I leaned up for another kiss, this one shorter.
"Your welcome. I knew you’d like ‘em." A.J. wrapped his arm around my waist. He led me over to the group. We were all at an amusement park. Kevin, Nick, Brian, Howie, A.J., and I were all ready to ride the Tower of Terror but just before we got on, A.J. had given me a bundle of red and white roses. I snuck a peek at Nick to see if our plan had worked. His face held no expression. Gosh! Haven’t I gotten through to him yet?! A.J. had agreed to be my "boyfriend" and it’s been a week of nothing but A.J. and Nick still showed no sign of jealousy. So I decided to make it a little more interesting.
I walked up to Nick and lowered my voice so only he could hear. "You know, you were right. It was better for us to break up. I never knew how much fun it would be to date someone else- namely A.J. He’s so sweet!" I smiled a flirty smile and twinkled my fingers in a wave toward A.J. Right on cue, he smiled, waved, and blew a kiss. I looked at Nick, and this time I could see him literally turning green with jealousy! Alright! "Idn’t he cute?" I cooed and walked over to A.J.’s side.
"It’s working!" I whispered into A.J.’s ear. He smiled and gave me a quick peck on the lips. The gates opened and the ticket taker ushered us into the building.
Once we were seated and locked in, the countdown began, starting at twenty. When it reached ten, A.J. leaned over to me and whispered, "I’m really enjoying this ‘boyfriend’ thing. I kinda wish it were real." I looked over at him, too shocked to say anything. And before I could compose myself, the long drop began.
"Dani," Nick’s voice startled me. I turned and saw him standing behind me, a weird look on his face. "Can I talk to you?"
"Sure." I kept my voice even. He led me away from everybody to a water fountain in the middle of the theme park and sat down on the ledge, gesturing for me to sit next to him. I did, and waited for him to speak.
"I know that you’re really enjoying your time here with A.J." he spat out A.J.’s name as if it were sour. "But do you have any feelings for me left in you at all? I mean, do you wish that you were here with me instead of A.J. cause I sure wish you were here with me." He sighed. His expression was of total hurt. I kinda felt bad for the guy. Then again, he had hurt me, so now we were even.
"Well, yeah. Don’t you even remember what I said that day, or do you just not care about me anymore?"
"No, I remember. You said you would always love me. And I love you too."
"Oh really?" I shot at him in a snotty tone. "So why did you leave me? What was your reason?"
"I had no reason." I glared at him. "Okay, so there was this other girl, but she just couldn’t compare to you so I broke up with her." I couldn’t help but melt. He always says the right thing. That’s one of the things that I loved about him. He always knew just what to say and just when to say it.
I pulled something out of my pocket. It was the note that he had written me, the one with the song. "Do you remember when we meant that much to each other?" He took the note and read it. "I don’t know if we could ever get back to that. And just what was your reason for leaving?" I tried my best to sound mad, and I succeeded.
"I..I" Nick fumbled for words.
"Tell me the truth! Don’t you dare lie!"
"I met another girl. And I really liked her. I just wanted to experience relationships with girls besides you." He looked down at his hands.
"Well, I’m in a relationship with someone else too. And I really like him too. And don’t try to break us up! You’ll get another chance, but only after A.J. and I break up- on our own. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to my date." I got up, feeling guilty for turning down Nick’s offer to get back together, not knowing if he make another offer. I tried to walk nonchalantly over to A.J. but halfway, my stalk turned into a stagger. A.J. saw what was happening and rushed over to help me.
"We’re going to go on the Ferris Wheel. We’ll be back." He explained to the group, and led me to the ride. I never would have made it into the chair if A.J. hadn’t helped me. Once the ride started moving, I started crying.
"A.J. I can’t do it!" I said between sobs. "I love him so much and as much as I want to make him jealous, it hurts to see him getting hurt." I plopped my head into my hands and sobbed. A.J. put his arms around me and pulled me into his chest.
"It’s okay. It’s okay." He stroked my hair and my back and soothed me.
"A.J. I wish I could enjoy being your girlfriend. I really like you, and more than just a friend. I would love to go out with you, just not under these circumstances. I really do like you, really. I kinda wish it was for real, too. But I just can’t do this to Nick. I just can’t." And I sobbed all over again.
"Tell this to Nick. Tell him how much you love him and how you faked going out with me. Tell him. He offered to get back together with you so that means that he still loves you. Take him up on that offer. And do it before the night is over." The ride came to an end, and our chair ended up being released first. "Do it now. He’s coming this way. Here’s your chance." A.J. pushed me forward, toward Nick.
"Nick, can I talk to you?"
"No." I turned and gave A.J. a look that cried, "What now?!" He mouthed, "Try again" so that’s exactly what I did.
"Nick, please! It’s important!" I pleaded, aware of the whine that was in my voice.
"Fine." I almost shouted for joy, but managed to contain myself as Nick led me back to the same water fountain ledge. "What do you want?" He sounded tired and fed up.
"I just want you to listen to me." I took a deep breath and started to explain. "I still love you, Nick, even if it doesn’t look like it. You know about me and A.J. Well it’s fake." He turned to stare at me, not sure whether to believe it or to be fuming. "I know you probably think that I’m lying but getting together with A.J. was just my pathetic plan to make you jealous so I could have you back." I smiled sheepishly. "I guess it sort of backfired cause now you’re mad at me and don’t even like me anymore. But, Nick, I just want you to know how much I love you." I pulled back out the letter that I had used before. "You don’t know how much I want to have what we had then, back. This song... I wish we could have that love back." I stopped before I started to cry again.
"I have something to show you and I think you’ll like it." He pulled out a single sheet of notebook paper and handed it to me. "I made a copy of that note so I could finish the song. There’s your song. I thought I’d show it to you now. I hope you like it." I looked down at the note and recognized the first few lines and continued to read the rest. It was beautiful! It was about us, our love and our relationship. It was so true it almost made me cry.
Open up your heart to me
And say what’s on your mind
I know that we have been
Through so much pain
But I still need you
In my life, this time
I need you tonight
I need you right now
I know deep within my heart
It doesn’t matter if it’s wrong or right
I really need you tonight
I figured out what to say to you
But sometimes the words
They come out so wrong
And I know in time that you will understand
Then what we have
Is so right, this time
I need you tonight
I need you right now
I know deep within my heart
It doesn’t matter if it’s wrong or right
I really need you tonight
I love you, Danielle Evans
Love,
Nickolas Gene Carter
"Nick! I love it! It’s so beautiful!" I wrapped him in a hug, but not before giving him a most wanted kiss. "I love it!"
"And I love you." He kissed my lips, long and soft, and left me with that tingly effect that I remembered so well. He wrapped me in a hug and I wanted to stay that way forever, but all too soon, the night ended. But I was just so glad that me and Nick were back together.
"Ooh!" Brian cooed with an exaggerated tone. "The couple of the decade is back together again! How wonderful!" He came up and wrapped both me and Nick in a bear hug. He had spoken my thoughts exactly. How wonderful!
Part IV
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