Finally, News worth printing...

Ian returns home!
After a long, hard, semester, Ian Vandewalker has finally returned to his parents' house in Lakeland, Florida.  He is very glad to be home.  In a telephone interview early Tuesday morning, Vandewalker said, "This past semester was rough, especially the end.  There were times when I thought I wouldn't make it.  But I could always look forward to a whole summer of rest and it would keep me going.  Like Walt Whitman said, 'Home is the place where, when you go there, they have to be nice to you.'"

Vandewalker's sister, other Lakelanders don't approve of hair
Web designer Ian Vandewalker's sister, Mary Beth Shapiro, revealed on Tuesday that she does not approve of Vandewalker's orange hair.  When Vandewalker arrived home in the middle of a Memorial Day Bar-B-Que, there was much laughing and joking about the unnatural orange color.  Afterward, Shapiro said to Vandewalker, in great earnest, "What were you thinking?!"  Vandewalker's father, Jim "the Prophet" Vandewalker, came to Vandewalker the younger's rescue by saying that he, the young Vandewalker, was a rock-star now, and proceeded to show the home video of Vandewalker's rock 'n' roll band's recent concert.

Rock 'n' roll band's recent concert a success
Tom's Cosmic Radio performed in Sainer Auditorium at New College in Sarasota, Florida last Friday.  There wasn't exactly a full house, but the young hippies in the audience kept the energy high through both the mediochre first set and the rockin' second.  Tall Paul did a great job on the lights, two thumbs up.  Bassist Brian Turk performed well despite having just broken his shoulder, arm, and both hands playing the popular Brazilian fighting/dancing/clapping/singing martial art, Capoeira.  Guitarist Patrick Hickey told a story which involved abuse of the hippie drug, marijuana, much to the chagrin of Vandewalker and frontman Chris Mitchell, both of whose parents were in the audience.  But it turned out okay in the end.  Pink girl Sarah goff broke down and loaded all the band's equipment after the show.  She's a real keeper.

Lake Hollingsworth drying up
Visitors to Lakeland may be disappointed by the appearance of the town's lacustrine centerpiece, as it is mostly not there.  Lake Hollingsworth, once Lakeland's largest lake, has been partially drained as part of the city's efforts to clear out the excessive vegetation that accumulates there because of fertilizer run-off from the surrounding homes.  Central Florida's horrendous drought has made matters worse, however, and the city has stopped draining the lake for fear that it will disappear forever.

Maggie Ray and Ian Vandewalker "really funny"
Everyone who saw Ray and Vandewalker perform their state-sponsored post-"Palm Court Party" comedy routine agreed that they were each very funny, and together they are pretty much hilarious.

Phineas happy to see Vandewalker
Since returning home, popular molecular biologist Ian Vandewalker has spent a lot of time with his cat, Phineas.  She is very affectionate toward the young man, and appreciates the attention greatly.  Vandewalker, an animal lover and long-time cat owner, is quite happy to pet Phineas as much as she demands, although her shedding problem and Vandewalker's mother's abhorrence of the sight of piles of gray fur all over the house make it difficult to really get into it.