News so New it's Already Old...

Spring Break Slow Week for News
There really wasn't anything worth reporting for the whole week of Spring Break, or the week after, for that matter.

Vandewalker and Vazquez Announce Bid for Office
Noted Web Designer and "artist" Ian Vandewalker revealed last week that he will be running for the esteemed office of Humanities Division Representative.  Eddie Vazquez, an ameteur exotic dancer and Philosophy/Religion major, simultaneously announced his intention to run for the same position.  When asked repeatedly if there is any bitter competition, the pair replied in unison, "There are two spots.  We're each really only running for at most one of them."  The idea of having two people whose last names begin with "V" in the same office has been of great concern to voters in the past.  When confronted with the issue, Vandewalker predictably responded that he didn't care what the voters thought.  Vazquez declined comment.

Herrick sports Sleek New Look
The president of the New College Bike Club, Dejra Herrick, came back from Spring Break with a new shirt and jeans, a really great hair cut, and a much darker hair color.  Quite simply, the new Dejra is really stunning.

Queer Ball Fabulous
"Yeah, there was a big party this weekend.  Queer Ball.  There was a drag show and stuff."
"Oh, I thought you said Queer Ball."
"I did."
Such was the scene Sunday evening as noted biographer Ian Vandewalker spoke on the telephone with his mother, the British tennis sensation and respected Information Services Liason Margaret Vandewalker, nee Jessop.  Vandewalker the former was referring to Queer Ball, New College's indulgent homosexual-themed party.  This year the Ball of Balls took place in the Hall of Halls--College, that is.  Saturday night was a smashing time for both gay people and cross-dressers.  Amidst all the glitz and glamour, aspirations soared, lashes (and maybe even a few hearts) fluttered, and hundreds of beautiful young people danced the night away.

Philosophy Candidates to visit New College
The candidates for the position opening in Ethics and Continental Philosophy at New College in Sarasota due to Professor Douglas Berggren's retirement will be visiting the school in the next few weeks to give academic talks, speak with students, and complete the interview process.
Dwight Furrow, from the University of California at Riverside, works with the challenges to both Analytic and Continental ethics.  He will be in Sarasota from April 19th to the 23rd, and will be giving a talk open to all interested at 3:30 on Thursday, 4/20.
April Flakne, who is currently at the School for Social Research, works primarily in the phenomenology of speech.  She will be in town from April 26th to the 30th, and will be giving a talk at 3:30 on Thursday, 4/27.

Willis Finishes Thesis
The lovely Miss Jessica Willis turned in the last chapter of the rough draft of her thesis, "Thoze Nazty Nazis II:  The Idealized Male in Nazi Art--The Perfect Citizen, or the Perfect State???"  Willis said that she is relieved to have finished the rough draft, but there is still revising to be done.  She went on, "I'm really not sure about using three question marks in the title, but we'll see how it turns out."

Members of Ethics Tutorial not sure where to meet tonight
This week's meeting of the Ethical Theory tutorial, sponsored by Professor Berggren, is steeped in confusion.  There was some talk last week about meeting with Beggren, presumably at his house, but no confirmation since then.  This morning, at the end of the class period for Medieval Philosophy, Ian Vandewalker, one of the founding members of the tutorial, asked one of the other members, who preferred not to be named, what was going on.  The anonymous member replied, "I was about to ask you."