News? Dort 205 Don't Need No Estinking News!
Omen of Death Visits Vandewalker Home
A dark portend of gloom and despair descended upon the shed in the backyard of 2112 this weekend. A grizzled and evil-looking vulture found its way to the overgrown yard and sulked for several minutes, turning the denizens of the small Lakeland home pale with fear. The ominous fiend paced the roof of the small, barn-like structure, swinging its blood-red skull back and forth as if in search of good and pure things to defile. After a bone-chilling fifteen minutes, the foul scavenger spread its huge, dirty, unkempt wings and flew to a branch in the large, dignified oak tree that is the centerpiece of the Vandewalker backyard. Evil did not find what it was looking for that day, however, as the vulture soon flew away, never to return (at least not until press time).
Is she crazy?
No, really--is she crazy, or is it just me? 'Cause she seems crazy, but what if I'm crazy, and not her. If I'm crazy, I might think that she's crazy, but never know that it's really me being crazy all along. But she might be crazy. She sure acts crazy sometimes. Maybe we're both crazy.
Frost & Saunders' New Building "Really Something"
Frost & Saunders, P.A. have done it again. This time with a new building that will really knock your socks off. Don't be fooled by the architectural similarity of the external surface to that of the old building, formerly the McCloed Home. On the inside, this new building has it all, including several unused offices, a graphics room, massive conference rooms, bathrooms upstairs and down, a kitchen, elevator, mock courtroom, and WALK-IN HUMIDOR. There are also several fully-functioning doors and light switches. In the words of the late, great Dave Barry, I am not making this up. There really is both a mock courtroom and humidor, along with all that other stuff. Also hung in the building (I'm not going to tell you where--you'll just have to go see for yourself) is a geniune artist's print of a Míro, signed and numbered by the artist himself. I'm not sure what the title of the piece is, but it's got some brightly-colored shapes and seemingly random lines and stuff . . . pretty great. So if you're in Bartow anytime soon, be sure to duck over to South Central Ave., and see what's shakin' at Frost & Saunders' all-new offices!
One Semester Left
Oh, God. It's almost over.
Fiffy Bippy Tu-Tu!
Yes, dee Fiffy Tu-Tu is feeling vewy siwwy, isn't he? Isn't he? Why doesn't he go ovah heah to see Señor Gundle Rundle Puss, Jr? Who's dat? Who's dat? Grundle no see no Rundle! Oh, Grundle! Tu-Tu sees you. Piñejo says, no me gusta, and you know what do happen when Piñejo is no happy . . . But Fiffy is muy sympatico! Well, we can just weave Piñejo alone, can't we? Can't we? Fiffy, say you're sorry to Monsieur Grundle-all-Rundle. Tu-Tu? Say you're sorry. Okay, we're sowwy. Tank oo! Say bye-bye! Wave bye-bye! Bye-bye! All gone! Bye-bye! Say bye-bye!
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