IAN'S WEBSITE IS PROUD TO PRESENT
OUR NEWEST, MOST RADICAL FEATURE:
DON'T TOUCH THAT!

This is a very exciting time for those of us who operate and control the Internet.  New technology has recently been produced by the sprites at the FBI who write all the fancy Internet code.  The details are extremely technical and the time and place of their release is an issue of national security.  Ian's Website has been offered a unique opportunity to use this new technology, in a secured format, before anyone else can.  The loyal patrons of Ian's Website are the real winners here.  Just what have I won, you're asking yourself.  Well...

This brand-new, totally interactive feature has not even been tested on humans yet. So if you're wary of possible health risks incurred by super-futuristic technology, RUN AWAY FROM YOUR COMPUTER RIGHT NOW.  If you're okay with the idea of blasting head-first into the new millenium, read on.

Here's How It Works.
You have at your disposal a mouse.  You use that mouse to control a cursor on the screen.  Right now your cursor probably looks like a little white arrow.  Maybe its a black arrow, and that's okay, too.  If it's a little hand with its index finger outstreched, you've gone too far. Slow down, and follow the directions. 

Practice moving the cursor around now, get used to the feel of it.  See if you can make it point to the first letter in this sentence.  Try to move it to one corner of the screen, then the opposite.  Being able to move the cursor over certain parts of the screen is crucial to using this new technology. 

Now that you're comfortable with the mouse, let's get started.

Getting Started.
Look at this face.  It's kind of cute, kind of funny, isn't it?  It looks like s/he's sleeping, or something.  That's okay, you can laugh at it if you want.  But what happens when you move the cursor over the face?

Oh my!  Look what you did!
S/he looks so surprised!

That's why this new feature is called "DON'T TOUCH THAT!" Whenever you move the cursor over one of the pictures, something funny or amazing happens.  But don't worry, all you have to do to change the picture back is move the cursor away from the picture again.

Now You're On Your Own.
Now you're ready to explore the exciting world of "DON'T TOUCH THAT!" on your own.  Remember, the idea is to have fun.  So keep it lighthearted.  There's no wrong way to play.  A few pointers:  (1) You don't have to click on the pictures, just move the cursor over them.  (2) You can always change the picture back to normal by moving the cursor away.  Just be careful not to move the cursor over another picture.  The sudden change of two pictures in a row might freak you out.

*The title "DON'T TOUCH THAT" is based on a metaphor often used in high-tech computer talk that compares the movement of the cursor over images on the computer screen to physically touching real objects.