“You said you loved me!” a man’s voice. My sister’s boyfriend.
“I do love you Rich. You know I do, but I just don’t feel ready.” She replies.
“Fuck that! What more do you need? We love each other for Christ’s sake!”
“I know, but I don’t want to.”
“What do I have to do? Get down on my knees and beg?”
“It has nothing to do with you! I just don’t want to!”
“Nothing to do with me? Who else does it have to do with?” his voice is menacing.
“Me! Just me!” I can hear tears in her voice. She can never stand up to him. “You know, yelling at me like this isn’t going to make me want you. You’re such a fucking prick!”
“What? What did you call me?” I can hear her shriek, I hear a struggle.
“Rich, get your hands off me! Stop! Rich, stop!” I hear a sharp crack – she slaps him. A moment later, I hear heavy boots on the stairs, and the door slams open, knocking me backwards onto the hallway floor. Rich – six feet tall and built like the quarterback he was in high school - glances at me, but keeps walking, leaving out the front door. A moment later my sister runs up. When she sees me there, she asks, “How much did you hear?”
“I heard I lot that I don’t understand.”
“Good. Don’t-“ she bites her lip, glances out the open door “don’t tell Mom, okay?”
I nod, and she starts to leave, to go after him. “Hope!” I call after her. She turns around. “Don’t go with him.”
“Why? This fight was nothing, don’t worry.” She tries to comfort me, even though I can see her shaking from here. He scares her just as much as he pisses me off. “Don’t go. I have a terrible feeling about him, especially right now. If you go… I’m just really scared for you.”
“You and your feelings. What are you psychic? No, you aren’t. So just keep it to yourself and don’t tell me what to do when you don’t even understand.” She spits out the words, then turns and runs out the door after Rich. I can hear her calling to him outside, he’s been waiting in his car. I jump up and throw the curtains aside, watching as she gets in the passenger side. She’s been alone with him a million times, even after fights. But now is different. She doesn’t know what she’s doing, for some reason she can’t see it. I can feel my heart beating faster, my breath is short - I’m terrified for her. God, I know she’s going to get hurt! I don’t know what to do! What do I do!?
Auda gasped as she woke, her eyes shooting open. Her breath came quickly as she tried to recover from whatever nightmare she’d been having. Once she realized she was awake, she just shook her head, yawning, flinching as it sparked a sharp pain in her head. Waking up always left her one of two ways – panicing or on the verge of crying – without fail. Those thoughts flitted away as her head began to pound. Headaches were the other thing that always came after sleep. The heavy, pulsing pain wasn’t unusual. It felt different than it always had before, but she didn’t stop to analyze the change. What was unusual was the conspicuous lack of obnoxious music and low hanging cigarette smoke. Wherever she was, it wasn’t her usual bed; namely, the floor of the club. Fuck, she thought, someone must have brought me upstairs.
She cursed inwardly, not wanting them to know she was awake. Now she’d have to go past the manager and his old (read: washed-up and bitter) punk posse, with their condescending looks. They all looked at her with all their been there done that attitudes, as if only she had their wisdom and experience she wouldn’t be passed out on the floor to begin with. They looked her the way a self-sacrificing grandparent looked at a child doing something stupid. Sleeping on a sticky cement floor in a dark room surrounded by angry and aggressive teenagers, like she usually did, was better then being looked at like that. The one thing she hated more than anything else in the world was to be made to feel naïve, as if she was a fool.
She considered feigning sleep until the manager and his friends left, but quickly rejected that idea. They might stay all night, and, here’s the clincher, they were between her and the bar. Shakily, she stood, ignoring the pain in her head, because she knew the minute she got downstairs and started doing shots it would go away. As she stood, she felt a strange numbness in her hand, and, as she stepped away, something tugged it back toward the bed. Unable to see what it was in the darkness, she ignored it, taking a step and immediately cracked her kneecaps on something. “Ow! Motherfucker…” she whispered. When did they move the furniture in here?
She heard scuffling sounds, and the light snapped on. When this happened, she realized two things at once. One, she was not in the manager’s office, nor any other place she had ever seen before. Two, she was standing not more then four feet from what appeared to be an upright, muscle-bound, and oddly familiar, five foot tall turtle.
Raphael’s mind was a whirl of thoughts as he stood there in front of her. He felt completely unprepared for this, whatever this was. He’d brought her back here purely on instinct, and now that she was here, and awake, he didn’t know what to do with her. Or even, on a more immediate basis, what to say. He hadn’t meant for this to be the way she saw him for the first time. She, for some reason, didn’t seem as panicked as he felt. She seemed more confused than anything else.
“Do you have any aspirin?” she asked, oddly resigned. “My head is killing me.”
He nodded, even more confused. “Yeah, hold on.” He walked out of the room, into the bathroom, and grabbed the little bottle of aspirin. Shaking his head as he returned, he gathered his thoughts about him. This girl wakes up in a place she’s never seen before, with no idea how she got there, there’s a mutant turtle standing in front of her, and the first thing she thinks of is her headache. In-fucking-credible. He walked back in the room, tossing her the bottle. She reached out and clumsily caught it in both hands, struggling with the childproof cap. Finally getting it off, she poured four pills into her hand and tossed them back dry. He watched as they went down hard, flinching at her guttural coughing.
“Thanks. God, you have no idea how much my head is killing me.” She mumbled, looking around. She sat on the side of the bed, glancing down over herself. She was wearing the same clothes she’d been in when she overdosed – a plain, mid-thigh length black slip dress and fishnets, her combat boots and beat up leather jacket tossed at the foot of the bed, where they’d been since she first came in. She noticed the IV in her hand for the first time, and looked accusingly up at Raph. “What the fuck is this?” “An IV.” He answered. “You’ve been sick.”
“Sick?” she was confused. “I never get sick.”
“Yeah, well that’s what happens when –“ he was cut off when Mike opened the door, stepping in.
“I heard voices.” he said, glancing at Raph and quickly moving to Auda’s side. “You’re awake!” he sounded cheerful, but Raph could tell it was hesitant. It had been like living in limbo waiting for her to wake up. While she slept, and recovered, Leo would let her stay, no questions asked. But when she was fully recovered, the heat would go way up, and they were all waiting for it. They hadn’t even talked about it. It was as if the family was trying to pretend she wasn’t there.
“Who are you?” She asked warily, leaning away as he stepped closer.
“I’m Michelangelo, Raph’s brother.” Mike said, gesturing to his brother and smiling “Hi.”
She didn’t answer, just looked up at Raph. “You’re Raphael?”
He nodded. He’d forgotten she didn’t know anything more than his voice. Or, more correctly, she did, and just didn’t remember. “Yeah. It’s me.”
She scrutinized him. “For some reason, I’m not shocked.”
You aren’t shocked because you already knew. You just don’t remember. Raph shook his head as she looked down at Mike, who’d knelt next to the bed. He watched as Mike checked the IV in her hand. He reached to check her pulse, but she jerked her head away. “What are you doing?” she demanded, her eyes wide.
“Woah, it’s okay.” Mike said carefully “I just want to take your pulse.”
She looked unconvinced, but let him take her pulse. He stood after a moment. “You seem fine, but you’re still recovering. Don’t exert yourself.” He glanced meaningfully back at Raph. Raph just let out a mental sigh. Mike still thought that he and Auda were sleeping together – that she was his ‘secret girlfriend’. The thought couldn’t have been farther from the truth, but Mike was stubborn.
“Are you hungry?” Mike asked.
Auda seemed to consider it. After a moment, she nodded. “Yeah, I could eat.” Mike nodded and headed out of the room, promising to be back with food.
The room was silent as Mike left. Auda scooted back on the bed, leaning against the wall behind it. She let her head fall back onto it. “You never told me you had a brother.”
“Brothers. There’s three of them.” Raph replied, sinking back in the chair he’d been sleeping in before she woke. “You’ll meet them eventually. Especially now that Mike knows you’re awake.” He added sarcastically.
“Is this your home?” she asked, bringing her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them and resting her chin on her kneecaps.
He nodded as a reply. She looked off into space for a minute before asking her next question.
“What did your brother mean when he said I’m ‘recovering’?”
Raph leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He couldn’t think of how to say this. Finally, he decided on simplicity. “You overdosed on cocaine.”
“Oh.” She said, quietly, processing the information. Without looking up, she asked, “How bad was it?”
Raph silently groaned. He did not want to have to relive this. “I don’t know how much you had already had, but when you came out in the alley you just took one huge hit and went into cardiac arrest. I gave you CPR until you came out of it. Then brought you here.”
“Why not a hospital?” she asked.
“What was I supposed to do, carry you in myself? I think they’d be more interested in me than in you.” He answered.
She just nodded, as if she hadn’t really heard him. There was a long silence; long enough that Raph started to wonder if she’d fallen asleep. When she spoke, it startled him. “You saved my life?” it was barely a question.
He paused before he answered, and she finally looked up at him. Her gaze locked with his, and he almost recoiled. Her eyes were so pale a color as to seem almost white. It was a strange affect, especially with her skin so light, and the rest of her so dark. “Yeah, I guess I did.”
Her lips twitched up in a cynical smile “My hero.”
Raph snorted derisively. He’d saved an overdosing cocaine fiend. He was a ‘hero’ all right. He was saved the awkward silence when Mike walked back in, carrying a tray of food. Auda readily accepted it, straightening out her legs so he could lay the tray in her lap. She bent her head over the bowl of soup he’d brought, lifting the spoon to her mouth. Again, the corners of her mouth again twitched up when she tasted what he’d made her. “Chicken soup?”
“Straight from the can.” Mike grinned.
“Sparing no expense, I see.” she said sarcastically. Mike laughed, if a little hesitantly. It wasn’t completely clear whether or not she was joking. Raph almost smiled. It would take some time for his brothers to get to know her, and she wasn’t going to make it easy. If there was one thing he knew for sure about Auda was that she didn’t hold back on the more extreme aspects of her personality. When you met her, you met her full on swearing, cynical, drug abusing self, no holds barred. That was not going to help her when Leo decided to make his appearance.
“Yeah well, I’m a turtle of limited means.” He replied, smiling, giving her the benefit of the doubt.
She just nodded, giving up any pretense of conversation as she tucked in to the soup and bread he’d brought. With a glance from her to Raph, Mike took a step away from the bed “I’m gunna go to bed. If you need anything…”
Again, she nodded, not even looking up. Mike turned walked to the door, gesturing discreetly for Raph to follow him.
When they were both outside to room, the door shut behind them, Mike crossed his arms over his chest and asked “Is she always like that?”
“Like what?” Raph asked, uncomfortable. His brothers didn’t know that he’d only known her for a week.
“Cold, unfriendly, guarded – pick your favorite.” Mike answered. “It’s not going to help things if she alienates herself from us.”
Raph nodded “I know. But think about what she’s been through in the past week. She almost died, and then she wakes up with a bunch of turtles playing nurse? She’s just a little shell shocked.”
Mike let his arms down “I can understand that, but she doesn’t seem shocked, just aloof.”
“Don’t worry so much Mikey. Shit’ll work out.” Raph said, making movements to go back in the room. There wasn’t much she could do to herself, but he still didn’t like leaving her alone.
“Yeah… I guess everybody deals their own way.” Glancing at the door, he added, “But Leo already doesn’t like her, and he’s never even talked to her. If their first meeting is her being sarcastic and cold-shouldered… it won’t help her cause.”
“I know. Believe me, I know.” Raph said, stretching his neck from side to side.
“Aright bro. Get some sleep.” Mike said, squeezing his brother’s shoulder as he walked away.
Raph glanced after him before heading into his room. He’d love to get some sleep, but it wasn’t going to happen. He and his brothers had been taking turns watching her, and he wouldn’t be relieved for another few hours.
“Welcome back.” Auda said, tearing a piece of bread from the chunk Mike had brought “Have a nice pow-wow?”
“Yeah, great.” He answered absentmindedly, sinking back into his chair. If she noticed the lack of energy in his reply, she didn’t say anything. Slowly chewing on the bread, she stared blankly at the wall in front of her, lost in thought. Raph examined her, for the first time allowing himself to think about how life was going to be now that she was here. Physically, she’d be able to leave the next day, but there was no way he was letting her go that quickly. She’d just go right back to that fucking club, this whole thing would happen again, and he might not be around the next time. So she’d have to stay until he was convinced she wouldn’t go back, and he wouldn’t be convinced until she’d kicked all her addictions, however many there were. And even then, she had no other place to go. Fuck, now that he was thinking things out, her stay was indefinitate, whether either or them liked it or not. Leo must have seen all that the minute he saw her – he knew what a struggle Raph had just thrown them in to. Whether he liked it or not, she was his responsibility, and he was in this for the long haul. As he sat there, staring at the ragged looking, rail thin, ghost pale shadow of a human on his bed, he wasn’t at all sure he was ready for it.
Chapter four coming soon!