MEMORANDUM

To: All Assassination and Reconnaissance Departments
From: The Sunflower Official

Please find enclosed the current official list of basic offenses against Canon for which fan-written characters in your departments may be charged with disrupting the Continuum. As all agents are to a certain extent autonomous while in the field, amplification of these rudimentary charges is encouraged as long as it does not violate Canon Protection Initiative policy. It is noted that the list is not exhaustive and is subject to further revision. To nominate a frequent or egregious offense for inclusion on the list, simply contact the Department of Records, Accounting, and Tabulation (DRAT). Please do not ask for a raise while doing so.

 

A. CANON VIOLATIONS

1. Character Disruptions

1.1. Causing personality alterations and character ruptures
1.2. Causing improbable romantic liaisons between canon characters (e.g.Geoffrey/Titian)
1.3. Breaking up a canon romance, especially in favor of an original character
1.4. Causing a character to act like a love-struck fool, especially over an original character
1.5. Causing male characters to be uncharacteristically misogynistic or chauvinistic; creating "Designated Misogynistic Bastards"
       from characters which were not.
1.6. Causing female characters to be antagonistically feminist
1.7. Creating gratuitous uncanonical older siblings, younger siblings, twin brothers, twin sisters, cousins, parents, offspring or other
       relatives of canon characters.
 1.8. Causing a canon member of the Bishopverse to abuse his or her child(ren) or subordinates in a way that defies canon (e.g.             
        Causing Saetan to abuse Mephis/Daemon/Lucivar/Jaenelle, etc)
1.9.  Otherwise slandering persons, groups, or races
1.10. Stealing lines
1.11. Causing an original character to join the First Circle.
1.12. Causing an original character with special powers to join the First Circle or family to outstrip any and/or all canon. (The    
         character should not be more knowledgeable than Draca about Blood History, a better warrior than Lucivar, a better
         assassin than Surreal, more sadistic than Daemon, etc.)
1.13  Compelling straight characters to be unaccountably eager to indulge in homosexual sex.

2.  Social Disruptions

2.1. Changing the physiology of any canon race.
      2.1.1. Causing male pregnancy
      2.1.2. Causing members of the Hayllian/Eyrien/Dhemlan races to have facial hair
2.2. Changing the social conventions and structures of a canonical society
       2.2.1. Creating servants in canonically servant-less households
       2.2.2. Forcing arranged marriages
       2.2.3. Changing the mode of dress, shelter, or transport of any Bishopverse society
       2.2.4. Causing individuals of known heterosexual orientation to be suddenly and unaccountably eager to engage in homosexual
                 relations.
2.3. Creating non-canonical races (e.g. nymphs, faeries, elves)
2.4. Confusing family trees (e.g. Daemon as Luthvian’s son)
2.5. Causing Craft to appear to work like magic from another fandom (e.g. Harry Potter ‘Verse, Buffyverse, Tolkien ‘Verse)
2.6. Creating a character with a Birthright Black, Birthright Ebon-Grey, Birthright Grey, Birthright Ebony, Birthright Twilight’s
       Dawn. Jaenelle is the only known character to have been born with a Birthright Jewel darker than Red.
2.7. Creating a character with a Twilight’s Dawn. Lorn said that there has never been, nor will there ever be another like it.
       Therefore, every Sue and her brother should not have a Twilight’s Dawn.

3. Environment Disruptions

3.1. Changing geography
3.2. Altering the location of key canon plot events
3.3. Altering history or the known backstory of a character
3.4. Deletion or overriding of key canon scenes in a non-AU fic
3.5  Adding Territories

B. SPACE-TIME DISTORTIONS

1. Causing time compression or expansion
   1.1. Causing the Purge to happen at a different time
   1.2. Causing thousand-year-old Guardians, demon-dead, or members of the long lived races to act like spoiled teenagers.                 
   1.4 Temporal-spatial distortion (caused by jumping from one place and time to another without transitional paragraph, line, or
         anything to ease the jump from one time and place to another
2. Using unnecessary tense and person shifts
3. Causing anachronistic behavior
    3.1. Causing Bishopverse characters to use modern slang
    3.2. Singing (or causing canon characters to sing) modern songs while in the Bishopverse
    3.3. Causing Bishopverse characters to use pop psychology
4. Bringing knowledge of future events to canon characters
5. Causing events to happen out of canon plotline order
6. Changing timelines or characters’ ages without cause
7. Causing events to eventuate solely for the benefit of the original character without regard to canon plotlines
8. Gratuitous use of time portals/interdimensional portals

 

C. TECHNICAL IMPROBABILITIES

1. Use of bad biology
    1.1. Employing impossible medical cures
    1.2. Causing logistically improbable romantic liaisons (e.g. Titian and Surreal, Daemon and Lucivar, Jaenelle and Kaetien)             
    1.3. Creating non-canonical races (e.g. nymphs, faeries, elves)
2. Use of bad physics
3. Use of bad plot devices
     3.1. Employing dei ex machina
     3.2. Creating "cute animal friends" or “cute animal friends with attitude”
            3.2.a. Character assassination of the Kindred.  (e.g. Creating Kindred just to befriend someone)
     3.3  Creating a Familiar. (The existence of Familiars was never mentioned by Anne Bishop, and the Blood are not the witches
            of legend on Earth)
     3.4. Gratuitous use of magical jewelry
     3.5. Displaying magical Mary Sue powers

D. LANGUAGE ABUSE

1. Mangling of the English language
        1.1. Bad grammar and syntax
        1.2. Punctuation errors
        1.3. Spelling errors
                 1.3.1. General spelling errors
                 1.3.2. Errors in spelling of names, aka "creating more mini-Lorns than Miss K can deal with"
2. Mangling of the Old Tongue
3. Abuse of the Muses
        3.1. Scrawling pitiful doggerel and calling it poetry
        3.2. Taking canon quotes or poetry and contorting them to make them refer to an original character
        3.3. Quoting song lyrics of any description, particularly those of Britney Spears and her ilk (aka "song fics")
4. Giving original characters inappropriate names
        4.1. Giving original Kaeleer/Terrielle characters modern names
        4.2. Giving original characters mangled or random names
        4.3 Giving original/canon characters names from other fandoms (e.g. Kelly Potter, Penelope Halliwell)
        4.4. Failing to follow the naming trends for each race as defined for the Bishopverse (e.g. Giving a female Eyrien a name with
               an –ar ending, giving a male Eyrien a name with an –an ending)
5. Causing Bishopverse characters to use modern slang
6. Causing characters to make incorrect use of archaic speech
7. Gratuitous tense shifting (e.g. past to present)
8. Gratuitous point-of-view or person shifting
9. Employing melodramatics
10. Causing an original character to have an unbearably beautiful voice

E. SUBJECTIVE CHARGES

(Note: These charges may not necessarily be officially supported by the Administration if disputed and do not constitute legal cause for assassination on their own; however, they are authorized for use by PPC personnel if sufficient charges have been accumulated under other sections to warrant assassination or incarceration of the subject.)

1. Annoying PPC agents
2. Displaying extreme stupidity or causing canon characters to act stupidly
3. Committing fashion crimes
4. Employing melodramatics, especially melodramatic death speeches (may need to be given post-humusly)
5. Hitting on PPC agents’ lust objects
6. Claiming than the fanfic is "not a Mary-Sue" when it has all the recognized characteristics of one

 

NOTES: 

 

Mini-Lorns: mini-Lorns are the Official Black Jewels Fanfiction University version of OFUM’s mini-Balrogs. They are approximately two to two and a half feet high (although Titan is three feet, as she can’t decide between her name-sake, Titian, or an actual Titan) and, as a detailed description of Lorn was never given, decided to be black with wings. (Yes, OBFU and the PPC realize that his scales are translucent when removed from his body, but there is no telling what color his skin is.) The mini-Lorns tend to take some aspect of their name-sake: for instance, all of Daemon’s mini-Lorns would quite cheerfully kill Dorothea’s, and just as cheerfully have paired off with Jaenelle’s minis.

 

 

 

Disclaimer:  The PPC is the creation of Agents Jay Thorntree and Acacia Bird.  The PPC Charge List was created by NenyaQuende, also known as Agent Nenya Gabriel of the PPC, Response Centre #1004, and was designed for Lord of the Rings fan fiction.  This version, designed for the Bishopverse PPC, was created by Miss K and Lady Vesica.