"And now for something completely different..." *~*~* Duo: Arrrggghhhhhhh!! *splat**hits floor**sits up**rubs ass* What the hell... Quatre: Ow! *rubs head* Where are we? Heero: *hits floor and bounces off**stands**pulls laptop from spandex shorts* Hn... Duo and Quatre: *sweatdrop* Wufei: *comes around**grumbles and mumbles* Chikusho... Trowa: *calmly sits up**rubs head**adjusts bang**crosses arms* ...? Duo: *looking over Heero's shoulder* Those nutty scientists sent us on another goofy... Anonymous Voice That's Not So Anonymous: What're you callin goofy braid-boy!? *steps out of shadows**grins* You cuties are here for your mission, are you not? *cackles maniacally* Bwahahahahahaha! Heero: *pulls pistol from... spandex**points it at Anonymous Chick That's Not So Anonymous - anymore* Omae o korosu. All the rest: *facefaults* ACTNSA: *clears throat**reaches out hand**Heero's gun flies into her open hand* You _do not_, I repeat _do not_ threaten the all-powerful author. K? Quatre: *nervously sweatdrops**voice rides up and down* oH-kAy... ACTNSA: *talks like she's addressing pre-schoolers* Good... Now, you're going to do what I say or... Duo: *crosses arms**grins smugly* Or what? ACTNSA: *raises eyebrow**extends index and middle finger like scissors**makes noise* SNIP! Any questions? Duo: *eyes get big**protectively grabs braid**shakes his head in the negative* ACTNSA: Great! *grins**procures previous stories* Let me tell you a bit about me. My name is Serena. You can also call me Omnipotent Goddess, whatever you prefer... Anyway I write fanfics. You wanna see? *waves stories around* Trowa: *grabs stories**reads* Not too bad. *passes them around* Heero: *reads* ... *passes to Quatre* Quatre: *reads* You are obsessed. Serena: *nods vigorously* Quatre: *sweatdrops**passes to Wufei* Wufei: *reads* Crazy onna... Serena: *waves pistol threateningly* Wufei: *gulps**passes to Duo* Duo: *reads**raises eyebrow**grins mischeviously at Serena* You've got a thing for me don't cha? *hands stories back to Serena* Serena: *turns slightly pink but recovers herself* Actually, I have a bit of a thing for all of you... Heero: *eyes get big* ...! Duo: *looks her up and down through his bangs while grinning like a fool* Trowa: *blushes slightly**puts his head down and clears his throat* Quatre: *turns bright red**sinks into a previously non-exsistant chair* Wufei: *sneers* Weakling... Serena: *giggles* You're so funny Wu-chan. Wufei: *gets indignant* Wu - FEI! Wu - FEI! Weak onna! Serena: *smiles* Yeah whatever. *drapes an arm around Wufei's shoulders**grins disarmingly* Wufei: *grumbles* Injustice... *does not move Serena's arm* Duo: *chokes on his laughter* Trowa: *tiny smile* Quatre: *still blushing**chuckles* Heero: *smirks* Looks like she's got you Wufei. Duo: *grabs chest like he's having a heart attack* He... speaks... Serena: *grins**turns serious* Alright. Knock it off, Braidy. Time to get to work. Duo: *mimicks Wufei* Injustice!!!! Trowa: *raises eloquent eyebrow* Work? Serena: Yes. *looks at list that has appeared out of no-where**grins maniacally* Costumes!!!!! Quatre: *cringes**hides behind Trowa* I'm scared. Hide me. Trowa: *rolls eyes* Serena: *smiles at Trowa* Trowa: *blush**_small_ nervous smile* Serena: *snaps fingers* Trowa: Beep! Bleep! Woo-woo! Duo: *looks scared* Why is Trowa in an R2-D2 suit? Serena: *smiles at Duo* Duo: *smiles nervously back* Serena: *snaps fingers* Duo: Cool! I'm Han Solo! *does a little spin**is wearing tight black pants with a golden stripe, a white shirt and black vest, a couple of low, criss-crossed belts with blasters and black boots* You even let me keep my braid! Serena: *mutters distractedly while looking at the list* Yeah, SPAM does suck... Wufei: *raises eyebrow* Nani? Serena: *smiles at Wufei**snaps fingers* Wufei: *growls* Duo: *cracks up* He's *gasp* Chewy!!!! Hahahahahaha! Chewbaka! Get it!!!!??? Wufei: *growls**chases Duo* Trowa: *makes droid noises* Quatre: *busts out laughing and falls off his chair* Serena: *looks at Quatre with a fire in her eyes* Quatre: *runs behind Heero* Heero: *moves just as...* Serena: *snaps fingers* Wufei: *chasing Duo* Duo: *being chased* Quatre: *in a mechanical voice* Why do I have to be C-3PO? Serena: Because that's what the list told me to do. Duh! *snaps fingers* Heero: *plays with his new green lightsaber**is wearing black pants and a black long-sleeved shirt with a long brown hooded cloak* Wufei: *gives up* Duo: *whines* Why can't I be Luke Skywalker? Serena: Because you're Han Solo. *smiles at him**snaps fingers* Duo: *has to sit down* I take that back, I _want_ to be Han Solo. Serena: *smiles like a hentai**sits on Duo's lap facing him* Why the sudden change of heart, Duo? Duo: *takes in Serena's Princess-Leia-as-Jabba's-pleasure-woman outfit**goes crosseyed**grits teeth* You need to get off my lap before we both become _very_ uncomfortable... Serena: *grins**takes her sweet time getting off* Duo: *keeps gritting teeth while she gets off**when she's gone - puts a pillow in his lap**closes his eyes**takes deep, measured breaths* Serena: *laughing so hard, Heero has to help her stand* Heero: *cackling like a madman on the Zero system* Wufei: *manages Wookie laughter* Trowa: *makes little droid noises that sound like laughter* Quatre: *manages to blush bright red even though he's made out of metal* Heero: *recovers himself* I didn't know you were capable of that Duo. *cackles* Duo: *opens one eye to glare at Heero* Well duh! I'm not gay and I have gone through puberty you know. Heero: *raises eyebrow* Riiiiiiight... Quatre: Who wrote that list Miss Serena? Serena: *smiles* You are soooo cute! Quatre: *blushes* Serena: Just Serena will be fine. Kat wrote the list. Trowa: Bleepity bleep bip woo zoop. (Who's Kat?) Serena: She's... The Host *Overly Dramatic Music (ODM) plays* Duo: *opens other eye, but does not look directly at Serena* Ohhhhhh... Serena: *cocks eyebrow* Better Duo? Duo: *gets up**streches* Yeah, let's get to work. *is still not looking at Serena* Serena: *snaps fingers* ::Darkness desends:: Unknown Narrator Guy: A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.... ::Star Wars logo comes up with theme music:: Text Scroll:  Episode VI 1/2      Following the death of his father, Luke Skywalker returns with his twin sister Leia and their friends Han Solo, Chewbacca, C3PO and R2-D2 to Tatooine. There they begin the long task of rebuilding their lives.      During this process, Leia and Han discover new aspects of their relationsh- Duo: *indignant* Just a minute!!! I smell a rat! Heero: *smirks* Serena: *innocently* Nani? Duo: Who wrote the list again? Serena and Quatre: *chorusing* Kaaaatttt! Duo: And where is she? Serena: What's it to you? Duo: Everything! I've got a complaint! Kat: *appearing out of no-where... right behind Duo**in a happy voice* Problem? Duo: *nervously sweatdrops* Ano... Kat: *giving Duo the hairy eyeball* Wha'd he say? Quatre: I am competent in over 6 million forms of communication... as C-3PO anyways. Wufei: *rolls eyes* Trowa: Zoop wee oop! ( No duh!) Quatre: *looks hurt* He said "Ummm..." *pouts in a corner* Serena: *comforts Quatre* Kat: Riiiiiight. Duo: Uhhh... Kat? Kat: *suddenly hyper* Yes! Duo: Are you deliberately fixing me up with Serena? Kat: *still hyper* No! Duo: *sighs* Good. I refuse to go through with the Star Wars thing though... Kat: *on the ceiling* Next! Serena: *knocking Kat off with a _very_ long stick* Right then! *claps**back to normal* Quatre: *back to normal**is cleaning up 6 dozen empty Dr. Pepper cans...* Heero: *back to normal**typing madly at _the_ laptop* Trowa: *back to normal**helping Serena with Kat* Wufei: *back to normal**practicing katas* Duo: *back to normal**lounging in a chair**eating chocolate**reading printout of Just Plain Freaky* Hahahahahahaha! Serena: *annoyed* Kat! Go! Home! Kat: *sticks out tongue**vanishes* All: *sigh with immense relief* Serena: *plops in a chair, to be exact... Duo's chair* Duo: Unf! Serena: *takes out list* To business! All right boys, I know you heard The Host *ODM*. Back to work! All rest: *grumble**stop what they're doing**come over* Serena: Mmmkay... Next we've got... Hmm... Quatre: Nani? Serena: Ano... Duo: Nani??? Serena: Uhhh... Wufei: Nani baka onna!?!? Serena: Errrr.... Heero: Tell us Serena. Serena: Ehhhh.... Trowa: FOR GOD'S SAKE TELL US!!!!! All rest: *goggle* Trowa: *is calm again**shrugs**adjusts bang* Quatre: Riiiiiiight... Serena: Ummm... I can't read her writing. Heero: *sweatdrops**swipes at his bangs* Duo: *huge sweatdrop* Trowa: *facefaults* Quatre: *falls over* Wufei: *mutters* Baka... Trowa:  I'll read it. *snatches list* It says "Dogs". *raises eyebrow**hands list back to Serena* Serena: *gets a slightly psycho gleam in her eyes**glances at the list one last time**claps* Heero: *is dressed as a rotweiler with a prussian blue leash and collar* ...?! Duo: *is dressed as a sheltie with a cobalt blue leash and collar* Eh? Trowa: *is dressed as a mop dog with an emerald green leash and collar*...??? Quatre: *is dressed as a papillion with a mint green leash and collar* Nani?! Wufei: *is dressed as a shit tzu with a black leash and collar* Injustice!!!! Serena: *wearing worn jeans, purple t-shirt, red fleece jacket, and sneakers**is holding _preferred_ end of the leashes**smiles crookedly* All rest: *gulp* Serena: *snaps fingers* ::Darkness descends:: ::Scene opens in a park during fall. The G-dawgs *he-he* are playing on the grass in the sun. Serena is sitting on a bench nearby, holding the leashes. The G-dawgs are bored and listless:: Heero the Rotweiler: *laying on his stomach, head on his paws, giving anyone who passes by the Zero look* Duo the Sheltie: *chasing his tail* Trowa the Mop Dog: *gnawing a frisbee* Quatre the Papillion: *sitting on the bench with his head in Serena's lap* Wufei the Shit Tzu: *growling at everything within 10 feet that moves* Serena: They sure seem tired today. I wonder what I can do... *eyes light up* I know! *produces huge bag of Kat's Doggie Delights from WeirdShitSpace(TM)**gives one to each dog... err... G-boy... ano... iie... G-dawg. There we go!* G-dawgs: *perk up noticeably, albeit scarily* ::Relena Darlian-Peacecraft struts by in a cat suit. The G-dawgs growl. She sets off at a run:: G-dawgs: *follow at breakneck, whiplash, excess of 150 mph, leaving little flaming scorch marks behind - speeds* Serena: *helplessly in tow* Relena the Cat: *scared shitless* Unknown Narrator Dude: Kat's Doggie Delights... All rest: *zoom in front of camera as a blur* UND: ... made of everything a dog loves... All rest: *ZOOM* UND: ... and more! ::Fade out:: Serena: *massaging her arms* Owwwww... *claps**grimaces* All: *back to normal* Duo: *slumps into a chair**looks for his chocolate* I'm not going to ask any more questions for the sake of my sanity. Period. Trowa: Riiiiiiight... *finds a soft bit of floor and settles himself on it* Quatre: *arguing with Heero about use of the laptop**wants to play a game on it* Heero: *checking in with the crazy scientists**ignoring Quatre* Wufei: *writing in his black notebook about absorbing topics such as justice, the weakness of women and his hair gel* Heero: *giving in to Quatre because he craves silence* What next? *begins polishing _another_ pistol* Duo, Trowa, Quatre, Wufei: *inch away from suicidal, pistol polishing, spandex clad, shonen (boy)* Serena: *oblivious**reading the list**eating Duo's chocolate* Hmm... Interesting... It says "Band". Quatre: *looking up from his game**glancing nervously at Heero* Excuse me? All rest: BAND! Quatre: *sheepishly mutters* That's not what I meant... *wisely decides to keep it to himself* Wufei: *eyes light up slowly as the meaning sinks in* Serena: *smiles at Wufei**nods* Wufei: *smiles wolfishly back* All other Gundam Pilots: *shudder* Serena: *looks at list**winks rougishly**claps* ::Darkness descends:: ::Lights come back on. A stage is set up. On the stage are Duo on bass, Quatre on guitar, Trowa on drums and Serena at the turntables. Heero and Wufei are behind two microphones. Heero is Fred Durst and Wu-chan is Method Man. Duo, Quatre, Trowa and Serena begin to play "N 2 Gether Now":: Heero: Who could be the boss, Look 'em to the cross, Stranded, In the land of the lost, Standin' up I'm sideways, I'm blazin' up the path, Runnin' on the highways of wrath, Choked up, by the smoke in the charcoal, Lotta stamps and brands me like a barcode, I'm dashin' all the media strikes, To keep the media dikes, That's reinforced me for the fight, And that alone will keep John Gotti on the phone, I'm tanglin' on the zone, I got the bees on the track, Where the fuck u at? Wufei: Tical Heero: Let me hear you pigeons run your mouth now, Wufei: Shut the fuck up Heero: I'm pluggin' in them social skills, To keep my total bills, that run a million, The last time I checked it, Thank God I'm blessed with the mind that I wreckin', Wait until the second round then knock 'em out. Wufei: They call me big john-sta, my middle name-uh, Dirty water flow, too much for you thug, I can't stand the flood, what up doc? Hold big gun like Elmer Fudd, the sure shot, Mister Meth, I'm unplugged, Learn, temperatures too hot for sun block, burn, Playin with minds that get you state time, Locked behind 12 bars, from a great mine, Killa bees in the club, with this ladybug, Brought a sword to the dance floor, to cut a rug, Love is love all day, till they no slug, And take another life in cold blood, Can't feel me, till it's your blood, Murder is tremendous, Crime is endless, Same shit different day, Father forgive us, They know not what they do, All praise is due, I'm big like easy, and big bamboo Wufei: What's that I didn't hear you, Heero: Shut the fuck up, Wufei: Come on a little louder, Heero: Shut the fuck up, Wufei: Everybody n 2 gether now, Heero: Shut the fuck up, Wufei: Wha? Heero: Just shut the fuck up. Wufei: Huh? Heero: Just shut the fuck up. Wufei: What's that I didn't hear you, Heero: Shut the fuck up, Wufei: Come on a little louder, Heero: Shut the fuck up, Wufei: Everybody n 2 gether now, Heero: Shut the fuck up, Wufei: Wha? Heero: Just shut the fuck up. Wufei: Huh? Heero: Just shut the fuck up. Wufei: Headstrong, deckhorn, get right on, Dead weight they dead wrong, Let's get it on, 12 rounds of throw down, Who whole crown, Protect land with full pound, Limp bizkit, get around like merry-go, Bust the scenario, Comin through your stereo, Why risk it, Lifestyles of pro limp thinkin' gifted, 8 essential vitamins and minerals delicious, Word on the street is, they bit my thesis, Knocked out they front teeth is, Try to taste my, Actin' like they heard through the grape vine, Dope feedin' for the baseline, To provide by, Pharmaceuticals, hard as nails to the cuticle, Where'd you find that monster, She beautiful, Wu-tang and limp bizkit roll on the set kick a hole in the speaker, Pull a plug and then jet Heero: Mic check, so what's it all about, and where we gonna run, Maybe we can meet up on the sun, Discretion is advised, For the blood of virgin eyes, Me limpin' on the track with the method, So get the sun block, You gettin' one shot, Until you dissolve I revolve around everything you got, From outta no where, prepare, You be blinded by the glare, I told not to stare, Now you've turned into stone, Without a microphone, But don't you forget your in the zone Wufei: So shut the fuck up Heero: And take that shit back, cause all your shit's whack When it's weighed out like that. Burnin' up your brain like a piston, SO all those who didn't listen, Never even knew what they were missin, And never knew that the sky was falling down, Wu-tang clan for the crown Wufei: What's that I didn't hear you, Heero: Shut the fuck up, Wufei: Come on a little louder, Heero: Shut the fuck up, Wufei: Everybody n 2 gether now, Heero: Shut the fuck up, Wufei: Wha? Heero: Just shut the fuck up. Wufei: Huh? Heero: Just shut the fuck up. Wufei: What's that I didn't hear you, Heero: Shut the fuck up, Wufei: Come on a little louder, Heero: Shut the fuck up, Wufei: Everybody n 2 gether now, Heero: Shut the fuck up, Wufei: Wha? Heero: Just shut the fuck up. Wufei: Huh? Heero: Just shut the fuck up. Wufei: It was over your head all day everyday S-I-N-Y, 1-0-3-0-4, Wu-tang killa bees, And the limp B-I-Z-K-I-T's, Y'all know the time, Y'all know the rhyme It ain't easy bein' greasy, In the world full of cleanliness and, you know all that other madness we gone, peace. Serena: *scribbling* Limp Bizkit! Method Man! R-R-Rock The House Y'all! Bring It On! ::Fade out:: Heero: That was interesting. *sits on couch* Serena: *sits next to Heero**claps**plays with his hair* Trowa: *points at Quatre* I think he's been traumatized. Quatre: *in a corner**in fetal position**rocking back and forth**hands over his ears* Heero, Wufei, Serena: *massive acts of eye rolling anyone?* Duo: If the word "fuck" makes him do that, I'd give _anything_ to see what, say, porn does to him... Wufei: *at the metion of the word "porn", gets nosebleed* Duo: *testing Quatre* ... probably ^CENSORED^ have a ^CENSORED^ heart attack. Quatre: *flinching pitifully* Trowa: *getting worried* Serena: *raises eyebrow* Riiiiiight... Duo: *still testing Quatre**now using Serena to get his goat* You know Serena-chan, you are one ^CENSORED^ ^CENSORED^ ^CENSORED^ hot ^CENSORED^. Do you want to ^CENSORED^ and ^CENSORED^ ^CENSORED^? Quatre: *passes out* Wufei: *passes out from blood loss* Trowa: *holding Duo by the shirt collar and beating the crap out of him (Quatre is his best friend after all...)* Heero: *taking it all in with a raised eyebrow* Duo: *having the crap beat out of him* Serena: *suffering from a _slight_ nosebleed**blushing to the ends of her hair**suddenly becomes incredibly interested in one lock of Heero's hair, as though it contained all the secrets of the universe* Quatre: *comes to**is normal* We shouldn't be fighting at all! All rest: Shut the ^CENSORED^ up!!! Quatre: *pissed* YOU SHUT THE ^CENSORED^ UP!!! All rest: *shocked* Quatre: *innocently* Nani? Heero: All right, I am officially freaked out now. Duo: *with a bloody lip and black eye* Must still be suffering from the Zero system... Trowa: *drops Duo like a ton of bricks**goes over to Quatre* Are you all right? Quatre: I'm fine, I just need a little tea. Wufei: *see above* Duo: *sprawled helplessly on the floor* Serena: *is no longer blushing or suffering from a nosebleed**goes to see Duo* Baka. *helps him up* Duo: *grins as well as he can with a split lip* Aw, come on! You know you enjoyed it! Serena: *the bridge of her nose turns pink**rids her nose of the single drop of blood* No, I didn't. Duo: *still grinning**swaggers around a bit* Serena: *works his braid into her fingers**yanks**HARD* Duo: YEEEEOWWWWW!!! Serena: *innocently* Oh, I'm sorry! Was that attached to your head? *still has her fingers in Duo's braid**produces list* Enough ^CENSORED^ around! We've got a ^CENSORED^ job to do! Wufei: *comes around grumbling because of Duo's yelling* Shimatta Maxwell-baka! You could wake the dead with that! *sees Duo's present state**smirks* Keep a good hold on that baka, onna. Serena: I was planning on it. *reads list**claps* ::Darkness desends:: ::Scene opens. Heero as Brian Littrell is sitting on a wall. Both legs are on the wall, with one knee up and one elbow resting on that knee. His face is cupped in his hand. He is gazing at a sunset and the whole scene is in the red orange light that only a sunset can produce. He is dressed in a white, long sleeved shirt, black pants and black boots. The music to "More Than That" starts:: Heero: I can see that you've been crying You can't hide it with a lie What's the use in you denying That what you have is wrong ::Duo as A.J. McLean is walking down a deserted city street with his back to the sunset. He is wearing a black trench coat, cowboy boots and a black fedora that covers his eyes. He lifts the hat off of his face and looks down the street at something only he can see:: Duo: I heard him promise you forever But forever's come and gone Baby he would say whatever It takes to keep you blind To the truth between the lies ::We hear all five boys singing the chorus as Heero jumps off the wall and walks away from the sunset and Duo throws his hat in the air, catches it, and continues walking down the street and turns a corner:: All: Oh I will love you more than that I won't say the words then take them back Don't give loneliness a chance ::Quatre as Nick Carter is sitting on a swing in an empty park, looking at the dirt at his feet and swinging slightly back and forth. He is wearing a green sweater, blue jeans, and Adidas shoes:: Quatre: Baby listen to me when I say All: I will love you more than that Quatre: Baby you deserve much better What's the use in holding on Don't you see it's now or never Cause I just can't be friends Baby knowing in the end ::We hear the chorus as Quatre leaves his swing and walks down a footpath, across a bridge over a pond and into an old abandoned amusement park:: All: That I will love you more than that I won't say the words then take them back Don't give loneliness a chance Baby listen to me when I say ::We see a large forest at sunset. Wufei as Howie Dorough is walking through it on a trail admiring the beauty all around him. He is dressed in a dark blue jean jacket, jeans of the same color and Adidases:: All: There's not a day that passes by Wufei: I will wonder why we haven't tried All: It's not too late to change your mind Wufei: So take my hand All: Don't say goodbye ::We see Trowa as Kevin Richardson sitting alone at a small table in the window of a downtown coffee shop. He is looking out the window at the sunset with both hands around his mug on the table. Trowa is wearing a black leather jacket and black jeans:: Trowa: I will love you more than that I won't say the words then take them back ::He pays the waitress, Serena, for the coffee and leaves while we hear the chorus:: All: Oh I will love you more than that I won't say the words then take them back Don't give loneliness a chance Baby listen to me when I say ::All five boys gather in the center of a town square next to a large fountain with the last rays of the sunset on them:: Trowa: I will love you more than that All: Oh I will love you more than that I won't say the words then take them back Don't give loneliness a chance Baby listen to me when I say I will love you more than that ::The boys go their separate ways from the fountain:: ::Fade out::

Don't understand the title?  Or why SHE's portrayed me the way she has? *Sticks out lower lip* Stay tuned for... ~*~Part II~*~