The eternal triangle is as old as man himself, while the isosceles triangle has gripped every high-school match student in fear since its inception. It should come as no surprise that the Undertaker-McMahon-Austin triangle is destined to achieve equal notoriety.
Call it egos running rampant, or simply a case of bad soap-opera scriptwriting, but the compulsive obsessive behaviour of the WWF's honcho and his two top-seeded stars is the stuff that would even make Sigmund Freud toss up his hands in disbelief. It seems that EVERYONE wants to be champion!
Through the ages the very basis of wrestling matchmaking has been to pit two athletes of equal merit into combat, and, as the old saying goes, the best man would emerge triumphant. Of course, the added sizzle of "good versus evil" was thrown in as an added box-office assurance. Today this notion has been thrown away and replaced by a new marketing gimmick.
We now live in the era of the misunderstood at millionaire. Promoters are no longer content with amassing record-setting profits. They now want to be pro wrestlers. Meanwhile, the grunt `n` groaners are dissatisfied with their multimillion-dollar contracts, and they aspire to be ring impresarios.
There is certainly nothing wrong with this scenario shift, either in theory or as the latest booking creation; however, it is crucial that the entertainment value be retained (or better yet, enhanced) for the paying crowd.
The problem facing wrestling today is that EVERY professional gladiator under contract will want their moment in the spotlight in order to lament their current station in life. Is this entertaining for the viewer?
I suppose I'm being a bit too harsh. After all, it's not easy being a modern-day ring megastar. Woe are today's poor, misunderstood major-league wrestlers. They must scrape by in life with only a meager six (or seven) figure income and are to be applauded for the way they can make ends meet. Enduring luxury accommodations and flying first-class must be added torture. On top of it all, the must wrestle for anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes per night. Aren't they truly worthy of our undying adoration and devotion?
Perhaps this is not all about temper tantrums. Maybe the Undertaker-McMahon-Austin triangle is a refreshing new twist on a tried-and-true formula that has helped the mat sport survive and thrive for decades. Maybe it's a good thing that wrestling rely on impulse rather than common sense and past performance. If it ain't broke-what the heck-fit it anyway!
Vincent K. McMahon Jr. has become a viable pay-per-view attraction, and, might I add, a plausible future World Wrestling Federation heavyweight champion. Why not! While we're at it, let's get Shane McMahon in there as well. Oh yeah, I forgot, he's already procured the European championship. Hey!… These guys OWN the company, so they have every right to BE the company.
Who needs pro wrestlers when you can have wrestling personnel in the main events! Maybe this is the beginning of an exciting new chapter in wrestling history. Perhaps there will come a time when fans attending live arena shows will be disappointed to find actual wrestling matches scheduled as part of the event. On the glorious day we'll see three hours of ring interviews accompanied by pyrotechnics and lengthy arena entrances (complete with earsplitting music played over the arena's public-address system, making the New York MTA's subway sound system seem positively audible). As part of paying homage to the traditions created by Rogers, Sammartino, and Backlund, they could have two valets roll around in the ring for five minutes, or maybe have the head of the marketing department square off against the company's licensing against. We're talkin` sports entertainment!
As for the wrestlers, the Undertaker has vowed to take over the WWF. This role is inevitable for the "Man fro the Dark Side." After all, he started out as a villain, became a hero, turned villain again, back to a hero, and now he's a villain once more. (Or is he just another neutral caricature devoid of any psychological purpose?) Jeez, even the Sheik and Abdullah the Butcher had a ring philosophy in their day!
Last but not lease, there is "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, who is positioned in the worst spot of all. The entire impetus of his popularity is based on sabotaging the status quo. Regaining the WWF World title will merely relegate him back into the role of the dutiful employee, thereby diminishing his drawing power. Clearly, in his role as the "Everyman," fighting the good fight in an effort to retain his individuality against the "McMahon Corporation," he is in his strongest element. Putting the gold around his waist once more is probably not such a bad thing for short-term spurts in ratings (especially around "sweeps week") as well as for a brief pulling effect on pay-per-view revenues, but, in the long run, this will probably level off.
The Undertaker-McMahon-Austin triangle is something that is definitely taking on a life of it's own. I have a very sneaking suspicion that it will go on to include many, many more grapplers. And as all you intelligent high-school geometry students already know, once it goes from being a triangle to a polygon, it will take on another shape. Figuratively, it will be pretty square… Daddy-O! (groan)