Amateur wrestling, as any mat expert will tell you, is about as different from the professional game as night is from day. It requires very different skills, and very rarely has an athlete been able to translate success on the amateur mat to success in the ring. No one has ever done it in reverse. Yet, Raw Magazine has learned that this Summer, none other than the rampaging madman Kane plans on doing just that. That's because the former WWE Champion now has his sights set on Olympic gold.
Plans have already been set in motion and Kane has already submitted his request for a leave of absence to begin very shortly so that he may throw himself into the vigorous training schedule that will be required should he hope to place well in Athens.
"Right now, I'm in the best shape of my career," the behemoth told us. "I tried to get in for the 1996 and 2000 Games, but they would never allow me to compete with my mask. Now that I've finally started to appear in public without it, I'm finally eligible."
In recent years, the trend has been for professional athletes to infiltrate what had previously been a bastion of International amateur competition, The "Dream Team," comprised of top NBA players like Michael Jordan and Larry Bird, started the trend, which has since continued in ice hockey and other Olympic events. But never has a professional wrestler made the attempt. Kane would truly be making history.
"Like it or not, Kane has a damn good chance of getting the job done," said Kurt Angle, WWE's resident Olympic gold medalist. "Sure, he doesn't possess the classic look of an amateur grappler and his style generally doesn't draw from amateur fundamentals, but I think a lot of people are gonna be surprised at what this guy can do."
From the early days of professional wrestling, there have been competitors who came from the Olympic ranks. The first major name was Henri DeGlane, who competed in the 1924 Paris Games and later went on to upset Ed "Strangler" Lewis for the professional World title. Four other World Champions - Ed Don George, Dick Hutton, Verne Gagne and Jumbo Tsuruta - had Olympic experience. Earl McCready, Brad Rheingans, Riki Choshu, Mr. Saito, Hiroshi Hase, Bob Roop, Mad Dog Vachon, Chris Taylor, Danny Hodge and the Iron Sheik all made the jump as well. But the International Olympic Committee has never before allowed what will apparently happen this August in Greece.
"Originally, there was some trepidation when Mr. Kane made his request," said an IOC spokesman. "There were concerns that he might attempt to light an opponent on fire, or something of that nature. We'll have extinguishers at the ready in the event of such a contingency, and we've informed Mr. Kane that any actions of this kind will result in immediate disqualification from competition, and possible legal action as well."
Over the past several months, Kane has been involved in a progressively more intensive training regime, which will kick into high gear once his sabbatical begins. Sources have indicated that it hasn't been smooth sailing, as the adaptation process has not been an easy one. During one sparring session, Kane was spotted attempting an Irish whip, only to remember too late that there are no ropes. His chokeslam has been a bone of contention since day one, and he is reportedly in ongoing negotiations with the IOC centering around whether he will be allowed to use a modified version of the maneuver, which contradicts amateur wrestling's ban on moves which endanger life or limb. Since Kane's gameplan usually involves a direct assault on life and limb, the negotiations have been tricky, to say the least.
Liechtenstein, a tiny nation located in the Alps between Switzerland and Austria, has announced that Kane has agreed to be a member of it's Olympic freestyle wrestling team. It is believed that his high-profile addition will propel the Liechtenstein squad - which has struggled in recent Olympic outings - to unprecedented achievement. Many competitors from other nations have already dropped out or expressed concerns over facing the Liechtensteinians.
"Size is definitely a concern," offered one prospective Olympic foe who spoke on the condition of anonymity. "I'd be lying if I said it wasn't. The new Olympic weight cut off was supposed to be 120 kilograms for super-heavyweights. That's about 265 pounds. Here you're talking about a guy who's gotta be at least 50 pounds heavier [Editor's Note: Actually, 61 pounds heavier]. How can they expect us to hold our own? It's unfair. It's ridiculous. Instead of watching out for leg-dives and half nelson takedowns, I have to worry about powerbombs, piledrivers and getting my face burned off!"
Despite the amazing concessions and ongoing negotiations that have set the hulking WWE Superstar on a path to Athens, officials have apparently drawn the line at permitting him to carry the torch. An International symbol of the Olympic Games, the Olympic torch is carried during festivities that kick off the events, and getting an opportunity to carry it is a very big deal. Nevertheless, fears relating to Kane's previous history with fire, as well as his seemingly mystical power over it, have forced the IOC to put its collective foot down on the issue.
"After what I've done in the past, yeah, I guess I kind of understand that one," Kane said. "I mean, the whole J.R. thing. . .I could see how that could be taken the wrong way. But I'm going to Athens in the spirit of good will and competition, which I hope I can prove to everyone by my performance this Summer."
Years of combat in the ruthless world of WWE have apparently not completely removed the ethics of sportsmanship form Kane's soul. He truly does appear to have his heart set on making a serious run in Athens, and his words indicate a much more disciplined Kane, who is interested more in scoring points on the mat than tearing people's limbs off.
We at Raw Magazine wish Kane the best of luck in achieving this dream. Although it's still only April, we believe only fools would doubt his chances of winning the day this summer.