***
For the first time in a long time, everything is as it should be on stage. Kali is sitting on the throne, dressed in elegant Goth, and Leonardo is sitting in the plastic chair.
"Hello ladies and gentlemen," Kali smiles. "Well, it took awhile, but we finally let Leo go."
"'Bout frickin' time," Leo mumbles.
Kali only grins. "But you had fun, right Leo?"
Leo shrugs. "I seemed to have regained my sanity at least. Oh, that reminds me." He turns around and pulls a straight jacket out from behind his chair. "This is yours, I thought you might want it back."
Kali snatches the jacket away from Leo and stuffs it behind her. "Thanks, Leo, now tell us what you have learned from this experience."
"That straight jackets are lined with satin."
Kali temporarily becomes an anime character and sweatdrops. "Let's move on to the show, and hope none of the readers decide to comment on that."
***
Day Thirty Six
Raphael snickers at Venus. "You're next babe."
Venus glares at him. "Do not call me 'babe'. And I am not."
Mike, who is standing on the other side of her, agrees. "Look, nothing personal, V. I'd rather Raph get kicked out so you and me can spend some time alone."
Venus now glares at Mike.
"But stats don't lie, so bye, bye," Raph adds.
Venus looks at him strangely, then shakes her head. "We'll see."
***
Day Thirty Seven
Raphael looks into the kitchen. "Whatcha makin' Mike?"
Mike looks over at him. "Lunch, duh!"
Raphael walks over and smacks him on the back of the head. "I mean what are you making for lunch, dork."
Mike grins, totally unfazed by his brother's violent act. "It's a surprise," he says.
"Oh, no."
They both look over at Venus, who has just walked in.
"What do ya mean, 'oh, no'," Mike frowns.
Venus crosses her arms over her chest. "Every time you make a surprise, I end up ordering out."
Mike sticks out his tongue. "Well, ya can't this time, V, so live with it." He suddenly ducks and Raphael, who was standing behind him, gets blasted by Venus.
"Ow."
Mike looks over. "That wasn't nice."
Raphael stands up. He grabs a handful of dough from the counter. "Take this."
Venus gasps and the sticky dough hits her right in the face. Raphael doubles over with laughter and Mike tries to hide his smile with his hands.
Venus pulls at the dough but most of it is stuck to her skin. "Oh, you think that's funny, don't you."
"Uh, huh," Raphael smirks. Another handful of dough hits his face with a splat sound and Venus starts laughing. Raphael cleans way the stuff in front of his eyes and looks at Venus. "Okay, now it's personal."
Venus is armed with a soda she got from the fridge. She shakes it up and sprays Raph. Most of it gets on Mike.
"Ahh!" he cries. "Civilian hit!"
Raphael searches the ingredients Mike set out for his 'surprise' and picks up a bottle of chocolate syrup. "Okay, now I…where'd she go?"
Venus is gone when he turns back. "Get back here, Shinobi!"
***
Day Thirty Eight
Raphael finds Venus lying on the couch with a pillow over her head.
"Ah, you've finally decided to do us all a favor," he says.
Venus pulls the pillow off her face. "I'm tired Raphael. It's very difficult being pregnant."
"She's still playin' that? Man, I thought she'd killed that joke already."
Venus smirks. "It is kind of old. Maybe she should do something else." She grins. "Like make you pregnant."
"That's impossible," Raphael argues. Suddenly, high-pitched evil laughter fills the subway terminal. Mike runs into the room and grabs Raph's arm.
"What did you say!?!" he exclaims.
"I just said it was impossible…oh, no."
Venus starts to laugh hysterically. "Oh, yes! I'm just sorry Leo won't be here to see this."
Raphael sneers at her. "I hate you. You and her." He suddenly grabs his stomach and flops down in an armchair.
***
Day Thirty Nine
Venus grins as Raphael stumbles out of the bathroom. "Good morning!"
Raphael looks at her a moment. He tries to flip her off and has a couple sucky attempts before realizing that he has no middle finger. "Ya know, some authors don't bother with that detail and let us give the symbol for 'fuck you'."
Mike pats his head. "Poor Raphy. So, tell me, who's the father?"
Venus bursts out in another round of hysterics. "I only wish this had happened sooner."
Raph growls and punches Mike in the face. It didn't stop the giggling though.
Venus wipes the tears from her eyes. "Look on the bright side, Raphael. You're more interesting now, and probably won't be kicked out."
"Lucky me," Raph grumbles.
Mike puts. "I wanna be more interesting, too!"
A piece of paper appears in Venus' hand. She reads it over and grins. "Okay, Mike, you're the father."
"What?" Mike and Raph say at the same time. They exchange looks of horror and disgust before running in opposite directions.
***
Day Forty
Venus is sitting in the floor in front of the TV sharing a tub of Rocky Road ice cream with Raph. Mike is pacing.
"I'm gonna kill her," Raph says between bites.
Mike looks over. "Don't do that." He pauses. "I want to."
Venus rolls her eyes. "You two are so over dramatic. You always wanted to be a father anyway Mike."
"But not with Raph!" he cries. "She's totally stepped over the line this time. I won't stand for this."
Raphael flicks a spoonful of ice cream at him. It hits the back of Mike's neck and he yelps.
"Wait for the votes, Daddy."
***
"Yes, I know, I am a sick, sadistic, twisted individual. I didn't plan on that, you know, but when Raph opened his big beak…well, it was too good to pass up. So, thanks to all of you who vote and review this story. And thanks to everyone who reviews my other stories, I really do appreciate it.
"See ya next week."
***