***
We see an empty stage. A single spotlight illuminates the Dragon Lord's throne, but it, too, is empty. A rope falls from the ceiling and a figure slides down. He is instantly identified as…Simon Bonesteel.
"Yes, it is I! The infamous Simon Bonesteel, destroyer of the rare and endangered."
Dragon Lord shoves him aside and stands in his place. "Shut up, human. Well, it seems that I have the most votes this week. As soon as I was allowed to leave I came straight here to reclaim my palace and confront that horrid woman for putting me through this!"
Bonesteel pops up behind Dragon Lord. "Yeah, and for not putting me in this!"
Dragon Lord glares over his shoulder at the crazed hunter. "At least she has some taste." He turns back to the audience. "But she is not here. No where to be found. She has shown her true color and it is yellow!"
Dragon Lord continues ranting as Kali enters the room behind him. Bonesteel notices her and tries to get the Dragon Lord's attention.
"Don't touch me, human. I'm trying to discredit the author."
Bonesteel taps him on the shoulder again and he turns, finally noticing Kali behind him dressed in denim cutoffs and a white halter-top with a TMNT logo on it. Dragon Lord seems surprised, but recovers quickly. "So, witch, you've decided to show."
Kali lets out an inhuman growl. "I would have been here sooner, but someone melted the hinges on my dressing room door!"
Bonesteel looks her over. "You should have finished dressing before coming out here, doll," he chuckles.
Kali glares at him. "Who are you, the fashion police? Have you looked in a mirror lately? You aren't a catwalker either, Bonehead. You aren't even in this story!"
"Right! And I intend to change that!"
Kali sighs. "Okay, you got your fifteen minutes. Bye bye." She waves her hand and Bonesteel goes flying off stage. A prolonged moan of pain drifts onto stage. Kali turns to the Dragon Lord. "What do you have to say?"
"Sorry?"
Kali narrows her eyes. "I ought to put you back in the story."
"No, anything but that!"
"Then shut up! I have enough to deal with with Venus."
Dragon Lord looks at her oddly. "You do know that she's never had sex, right?"
Kali waves her arms in the air. "Details, details."
***
Day Thirty One
Raphael rubs his hands together. "Okay, down to the favorites. I have to be sneaky now."
Leonardo rolls his eyes at his brother. "Raph, you haven't gotten a single vote yet, I doubt you have to worry."
Raphael frowns. "You don't really think I'm going to believe that the humans will keep that up, do you? They're all hypocrites, and I don't like putting my fate in their hands."
Michaelangelo smiles at him. "It's not like your life's on the line, Raph, it's just a game. Don't you think you're being a little over-dramatic?"
Raphael thinks for a moment. "No."
Venus sticks her head out of the window of the subway car. "Keep it down, will you?"
"Aww," Mike coos, "are we upsetting you, mommy?"
Leo and Venus glare at him. "That's not funny," Leo says.
Mike sticks his tongue out at Leo. "Bite me, leader man!"
***
Day Thirty Two
Venus drags herself into the kitchen looking like she's had only a few hours sleep in the last forty. Mike looks over from the stove as she plops down in a chair.
"Rough night?"
Venus rests her forehead on the table. "I hate her."
Mike nods. "I'd hate her too if she wasn't as pretty as she is."
Venus glares at the back of his head.
"Look, V, I made you breakfast." He places a plate of pancakes down in front of her.
She looks down at it for a few seconds. "Do we have any cinnamon?"
Mike blinks. "Uh…I think so."
"Oh, and some raspberry syrup."
"Sure."
"And cornflakes."
"Excuse me?"
***
Day Thirty Three
"Raph?"
Leo looked around the dojo, but his brother wasn't in there. He wasn't in the kitchen, or in the cars, or watching TV, he wasn't anywhere.
"Shh!"
Leo turned his head to the left. "Raph, is that you? Where are you?"
"I'm under here."
Leo turns in a circle. "Under where?"
He hears Raph snicker. "I always wanted to do that."
Leo sighs in frustration. "Fine, have it your way. At least tell me why you're hiding."
Leo feels a tap on his shoulder and spins, and lets out a surprised gasp at the sight of Raphael. "Look, I got it figured out. The humans vote for whoever they don't like."
"Yeah, so?"
Raph rolls his eyes. "So, if I don't have as much on-screen time as, say, you, then they don't have a reason to kick me out because I haven't done anything to deserve it." Raphael grins.
Leo gives him a blank look. "I know there's something wrong with that logic, but I can't quite figure out what."
"See? It'll work, trust me!"
***
Day Thirty Four
Leo walks into the room where Mike and Venus are watching TV. Mike looks over at him. "Where's Raph?"
"He's got this idea that if he hides from the voters, then he can't get voted out."
Venus takes another handful of popcorn. "He must really want the prize."
"Yeah." They all remain silent for several minutes until Leo speaks again. "What is the prize again, we've been here so long, I've forgotten."
Mike rubs his forehead. "Me, too. Kali?"
A piece of paper flutters down and lands in front of the couch. Venus bends over and picks it up.
'…'
"What's it say?" Leo asks, looking over her shoulder.
Venus turns the paper over. "Nothing. It's just three little dots."
"What?" Raphael runs out from his hiding place and snatches the paper. He turns it over several times before throwing it in the air. "Oh, for the love of…"
Venus looks to Mike. "I don't get it."
Mike shrugs. "Those little dots, I forget what they're called, are like a pause in a sentence. Meaning, she has no idea."
Leo looks nervous. "No, it just means she won't tell us, right?"
Raph slams his fist into the arm of the couch. "No, she would have written 'I'm not telling' or 'It's a surprise' or something. Damn it all! All this for nothing!"
Leo's lower lip starts quivering.
***
Day Thirty Five
Raphael has retreated to his hiding place. Mike is vegging in front of the tube. Leo's trying to regain his sanity through endless katas and Venus is searching through the kitchen cabinets.
Mike sighs. "The author has officially lost her momentum."
A slab of the ceiling falls and hits Mike on the head. "Ow, that hurt."
"Trying to think again, Mikey?" Raph's disembodied voice says.
Mike scowls in the general direction of the voice since he has no idea where his brother is hiding. "Shut up. But thinking seems like a good idea. I need to figure out how to lighten this place up."
"We had a prank week," Raphael replies.
"Yeah, but it wasn't me that time."
Venus looks out from the kitchen. "That reminds me, Donatello owes me a new bandanna."
Leo walks into the main room and looks at everyone.
"What's up, Leo?" Mike smiles.
Leo shakes his head and begins to mumble under his breath. Raph emerges from his hiding place without really giving it away. "She does seem obsessed with driving our fearless leader insane, doesn't she?"
***
Kali sits on the Dragon Lord's throne, as usual, with Bonesteel standing beside her dressed in a sloppy butler's outfit.
"I feel stupid," he mumbles.
Kali hisses at him. "Do you want to be here or not?" She turns to the audience. "Okay, time to cast your vote again. Only three more weeks, and our winner will be revealed, giving them the privilege of being able to say they survived Divine Eyes."
Bonesteel looks at her. "That's the prize?"
Kali shrugs. "I guess they can just name their prize at the end. Or maybe we can ask the readers. Whatever. Well, bye bye and see ya soon."
***