***
Kali is once again sitting on Dragon Lord's throne. Beside her in the plastic chair is April O'Neil, head between her knees, crying.
"Welcome to our second interview. This week it's April, with three votes out of ten. April, are you okay?"
April snaps her head up. "No, I'm not! I don't wanna leave."
Kali pats her shoulder. "Don't worry April, I'm sure Casey will join you soon."
"Who?"
Kali gives a blank expression. "O-kay. Well, I appreciate all the response this story has gotten. It's done a real number on my ego."
April glares. "As if it could get any bigger. And if you're such a good writer, why was I so out of character?"
Kali thinks for a moment. "Well, you weren't really, since humans are capable of a wide variety of emotions. But I think it’s because you would have been boring. But if you think you were out of character, you should check out day thirteen."
"Why?"
"Because it's day thirteen, duh! I had to do something cool for that 'unlucky' day I love so much."
April just stares. "You are insane."
"No, just eccentric, often mistaken for insanity. And for our readers, I have a special interview at the end with a character that hasn't appeared yet but you're all wondering about."
***
Day eleven
"Die dragon freak!"
Dragon Lord just sits there as Casey hits him repeatedly with a throw pillow.
"This would be easier with my baseball bats," Casey says, winding up for another hit.
"No weapons," Mike reminds him.
Dragon Lord rolls his eyes. "Why am I just sitting here?"
Raph snickers. "Hey, angel face, can we get instant reply? The readers missed the fun."
The TV flips on and has static before showing a picture of Dragon Lord, Shredder and Venus leaning over a hole in the floor. The screen unpauses and Dragon Lord jumps through the hole. Shredder takes Venus' hand.
"Ladies first."
Venus climbs down and Shredder follows. It cuts to a sewer tunnel.
"I see light!" Venus cries and runs forward. She stops suddenly like she ran into an invisible wall. Well, she did.
Kali clicks her tongue against the roof of her mouth. She's holding a flashlight, the source of the light. "Nice try, but no dice. I'm afraid you're going to have to be punished for this."
Dragon Lord steps forward. "Stand aside, witch. You cannot stop us."
Kali just smirks. "I can't, huh?"
"Oh, no," Shredder groans. The picture cuts again. This time we see the four appear in the sewer den. Mike looks up.
"Hey, Kali, what's up?"
April runs over. "What are you doing here?"
Kali puts her hands on her hips. "These three just tried to escape our little game."
Don looks up from his trunk and holds up a palm pilot. "That's funny, I thought it was your game."
"So they will be punished," Kali continues. "Venus and Shredder are not to come within five feet of each other for the rest of the chapter. This will be magickally enforced. The Dragon Lord will have to sit and take whatever punishment Casey deems fit."
"Alright!" Casey yells. "You're goin' down!"
April turns to Casey. "You can't do that! I won't let you near him."
Kali grabs her arm. "No can do, Ape, you've been voted off. You're coming with me."
"No! No!" April screams. "This is your fault! You made me annoying on purpose!"
Kali rolls her eyes and they both disappear.
The screen goes blank.
"Hit him harder Casey!" Mike yells.
"I'm trying!" He looks at the pillow. "Maybe if I put some bricks in it."
Leo walks in. "Hey, did I miss the instant replay?"
"Yep," Don says. "Feeling better?"
Leo takes a deep breath. "Yes. I do."
"That's for stealing my woman, lizard-man!"
***
Day twelve
Donatello walks in and surveys the scene.
Venus is walking in a circle around Shredder. The radius is exactly five feet. "This is cruel and unusual punishment!"
Shredder crosses his arms. "What do you expect from a cruel and unusual person?"
Don look over to Leo, Raph, and Mike, who are playing cards. Mike throws down his hand.
"Gin!"
Raph grumbles. "Hey Donnie!" he yells out. "We need a fourth for poker, wanna join?"
Don frowns. "Where's Casey?"
Leo starts to shuffle the cards. "Still beating on Dragon Lord. He only gets a week of this and he wants to make the most of it."
***
Casey takes one last swing with the pillow. Dragon Lord gives him an amused grin. "Tiring already, human?"
Casey takes deep breaths. "I got all week, and you can't do nothing about it!"
Dragon Lord leans to the side. "No wonder April chose me over you."
Casey gives him another good smack in the face. "What the hell could she see in you!"
Dragon Lord motions for him to come closer. He leans over and whispers in Casey's ear. Casey's eyes get as wide as plates.
"No way!"
***
Day thirteen
Mike walks out from the dojo. "I have a bad feeling about today."
Venus bounces in from the subway car. "Yo dudes, what's up?"
Mike bangs the side of his head. "I did not just hear that."
"What?" Raphael peeks out from the kitchen.
"Venus just…Raph, what are you doing?"
"I'm making breakfast."
Mike cautiously approaches the kitchen and sniffs. It smells good. Mike's jaw hits the ground. Raph is standing in front of the stove wearing a pink frilly apron flipping pancakes. Mike rubs his eyes. "What the hell?"
Don runs in with a piece of paper. "Kali says that in honor of number thirteen, things are going to be weird today."
"What happened to the palm pilot?" Raph asks.
"It was too hard for me to figure out."
Mike sits down at the table. "Am I the only one not affected by this?" He slams his fist down. "I want answers now!"
***
Venus bounces into the garage. Dragon Lord is quietly rocking in the corner.
"Like hi!"
Dragon Lord looks up. "Hi," he says softly.
"Come on, Raph's makin' pancakes!"
***
"Why can't we just be friends?"
"You die now!" Leo lunges at Shredder. He dodges and Leo crashes into a stack of boxes.
Mike runs in. "Leo, calm down, damn it!"
"No, I will not calm down! Control is for the weak!"
"Fighting is not the answer!" Shredder yells.
***
Dragon Lord sneaks around the corner. Suddenly, Casey jumps into his path.
"Don't hurt me!" Dragon Lord covers his head with his arms.
Casey smiles. "I'm not going to hurt you. I want to apologize."
Dragon Lord stands up and stares at him. "Really?"
"Yeah. I'm sorry. Friends?"
***
Venus jumps over the edge of the couch and lands next to Raphael.
"Wanna makeout?"
Raph glances at her briefly. "Not really, try Mike."
"I did," she whines. "He said no, too. Please, sweetie? I'd be like totally happy."
"Well…"
***
Kali does not look amused. "Okay, now she's gone too far. This little freaky twist is only funny so long. Let's get back to what passes for normal."
***
Day fourteen
Everyone is sitting around the living room.
"That was weird," Raph says.
"She's awfully creative," Shredder comments. "First our punishments, now that. Why's she writing fan fiction? She could make decent money with original stuff."
Don holds onto his palm pilot as if it were made of gold. "It would probably interfere with her cushy job in the seventh ring."
Mike gasps. "Don! How could you say that?"
Don's hand held computer beeps and he looks down. "'Ouch.' Ouch?" The small device overloads and blows up in his hands. "Ouch!"
Raph and Venus laugh. "That's what you get for relying on technology," Venus says.
Don mumbles under his breath and looks down at his beloved hand held computer, now broken and smoking.
Dragon Lord chuckles. "I'm starting to like this woman."
Casey smacks him with the pillow. "Don't be a player!"
***
Day fifteen
Leo looks inside the subway car. Venus is sitting on the bed reading a book.
"Hey."
Venus looks up. "Oh, hello Leonardo. Do you want something?"
He walks over thinking she should rephrase that. He sits on the bed next to her. "Not really. Just seeing how you're holding up."
Venus closes the book. "I'm doing as well as any of you."
"Good." He leans forward with his hands on his knees. Venus just looks at him. He seems different somehow. He looks over at her and her breath catches in her throat.
"Ahem."
Shredder is leaning against the doorframe. "Next week, this little punishment is up."
Leo glares at him and Venus looks from him to Shredder and back to Leo. Eventually, Shredder leaves and Leo stands up. He leaves without a word.
***
Kali leans over Wick's cauldron. "It's almost ready."
Wick notices the camera and pokes Kali's arm. She looks back and sees it too.
"Get that thing out of here!"
***
Kali sits up on the throne with a silver tiara on her head.
"Here's the promised interview with our special guest, Master Splinter!"
A cushioned rocker has replaced the plastic chair. Splinter smiles. "It is an honor to be here, Kali."
"I've set this up because a couple of you asked where Splinter was and what he was doing. Well, sensei?"
Splinter clears his throat. "I have used this time to take a much needed vacation to my homeland of Japan. I was never able to get this much time before."
"Good for you, that sounds relaxing," Kali smiles. "It must be great to be able to get away from the kids for awhile."
"You have no idea," Splinter sighs. "I'm having a wonderful time, but I do miss them."
"Of course you do. Well, it's time to vote again, and you all need to tell me who to send packing." She stands up. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a few spells I need to finish."
Splinter scratches his head. "I do not think that this falls under 'harm none'."
"Loophole! The rule applies to all living things, but you're all fictional, no matter how much I wish otherwise." She turns off stage. "Wick! Where do you keep the colored candles?"
***