| All we can do is to teach those who are willing to listen and let the others be. As my mother always told me when I was younger, you can't change the world. Jenn: Since you're married, you wouldn't consider yourself to be gay. (people seem to think that crossdressers are automatically considered to be gay) Kim: No, I'm not gay and thank you for bringing that up. While it may be thought that if you wear women's clothes and you are a male, you must be gay, nothing could be further from the truth. Homosexuality is different from crossdressing. Put simply, homosexuality is a choice of life partner. If you're gay, you prefer to have a realtionship with a male. If you are a crossdresser, you like to wear clothes that are considered to be those of the opposite gender. (the term "gender" is used here because it's becoming the prefered term as opposed to sex) Female crossdressers are rare because the boundaries for women are a lot broader than they are for men. A woman can wear clothes that are considered masculine and nobody looks twice. If a man were to wear clothes that are considered feminine, then he's thought to be gay or some kind of deviant. That thought process is changing but it won't happen very soon.There's still a lot of work to be done yet. Jenn: Do you think this is true, false or sometimes true depending on the case? Kim: I would have to (guardedly) say that this is not true. As I mentioned, being gay is very different from crossdressing. While they both are a lifestyle choice and may stem from the development of the infant (this explanation is still debated however), it isn't the same. Crossdressers don't have the desire to have a relationship with men. It's the enoyment of wearing female clothes that drives them. Jenn: If you had the chance to walk up to someone who was making fun of you, what would be your exact words? kim: I don't know if I would approach someone who was making fun of me but, if I did, I would, most likely, ask them what they found so amusing. After hearing them say that they found me funny, I would proceed to ask them why and then explain why I choose to dress that way. Perhaps they would come away from that encounter with a better understanding of me and crossdressing. Maybe it wouldn't change their mind at all. The end result wouldn't matter too much really. What would matter is that I explained the situation and let them make up their own mind. Beyond that, there isn't much that can be done. I would try to keep from becoming confrontational though unless threatened. Follow up questions (and some from her class) coming soon. |
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