This Thursday, I observed my speech from the moment I got up at about 6:30, til the moment i got back from practice at 10:30. I didn't take much notice to any specific words, except one: fag. I remember a couple of years ago I used to say that word all the time, to just about everyone I talked to in a day. I have been trying to refrain from using it because I realized it is just a dumb word and can be hurtful to some so I began to substitute the word "goofball" as Mr. Clark instructed us to do so sometime last year. Today, I noticed that I used the word "fag" very little, probably less than five times. I know that still isn't much to brag about, but I am proud that I am slowly cutting the usage of it out of my vocabulary. Before leaving my house, I talked to my mom about my plans for the day (a routine now and very boring), so I was not really interested in that conversation at all. Then I drove to my game and sang along to my favorite band, The Temptations. Singing is probably the time of day that I talk most, and by talk I mean the time of day where intelligent thought and sounds leave my mouth the most. I am ususally a pretty quiet guy, I came to the conclusion that I don't talk much because I just don't have something worthwhile to say most of the time. Some people just talk on and on about random stuff and I do not see much point in that so I ususally just sit, remain silent, and think. I talked a lot during my game though, directing people where to go, who to guard, and so on. I tried to be positive when guys did something wrong and I corrected them, and I think i did a good job of that. Then I went to class and I had to start thinking for the day and I began thinking a lot harder before I said anything. During the game everything I said just came to me right away, but during class it took a little more time. When I was pulling out of the SLUH parking lot after class, I called one of my friends and we started talking about hanging out or something. I led on to her that I wanted to hang out, which I did, but I would have rather just gone home and rested for the day, which I ended up doing. I closed our conversation by just saying "I guess I'm going to go home 'cause there is nothing to do." There was plenty of stuff to do, but I acted like there wasn't anything. I tend to do that a lot. Sometimes I'm just too tired and I don't want to tell the person outright that I don't want to hang out because that seems rude to me, so instead I lie or do something like I did on the phone with my friend. Then when I got home, my swim coach called my house phone and I started talking to him about our meet later that night. He kept going on about how he really needed me there and all so I just went along with that and said things like "yeah," "oh definitely," or "uh-huh"; I knew I was going to the meet, and I thought he did too. Maybe he just forgot and called me to make sure for the third time, I don't know. From about 2-5 I sat at home by myself and talked to some people online and just chewed the fat a bit. Then I went to my swim meet. There, I talked to a few people, just about random stuff again, but then all of a sudden all the older kids were just sitting on the pool deck listening to music, noone saying anything. I guess we were all just thinking about more important things, or maybe we were all just tired. I was thinking though, whenever I'm not talking, I'm thinking. That's another reason I don't talk too often, I like to keep to myself and to my thoughts and think about the day or other stuff in my life. After the swim meet I went right to water polo practice where we scrimmaged the whole time, so again just about the only talking I did was pertaining to the game, strategy, and all that stuff. Then I came home, checked in with my mom and began working on this.
I noticed that for the most part, I talk to my parents and friends the same way. I'm usually honest and the only lies are the little white lies like the one about how we aren't going to hang out because there is nothing to do. I think the worst part about my speech is that sometimes I am a bit too honest or critical, example: when someone does something I think is pointless or stupid, I usually tell them that, when people exaggerate their stories to make them sound cooler I point them out. A lot of people just let that stuff go because it really isn't that big of a deal, but I don't because I really don't like it when people completely change stories to make them sound worse, or make themselves sound cooler, it's all so phony. Or when people say or do stupid things they know are stupid just to get attention, I really dislike that, so I point it out to other people. I can be an ass sometimes because of that and I try to not do it so often but it is a part of me and I don't like to ignore simple truths. Sometimes I try to not do this so often so I just go along with other people, saying stupid things for the sake of being stupid or funny and after a while I can't stand it so I revert back to my critical ways. I'm still trying to find a good median between being honest and being nice. When it comes to strangers though, or people I don't talk to much, I think I tend to be more polite and more easy-going. I think this is because I'm trying to be welcoming and not come off as a jerk. My friends and family know me and I think can put up with me most of the time.
This was a really neat project because it caused me to think a lot about how I communicate with other people. I am going to try to remember to do this periodically and note the changes or progresses I might have made so that I can develop a better way of talking to others and be more honest but still nice and polite.