Chapter 22...Chapter 22...
Fei: Got hooked up with Man again? Put down your burden at last, huh? But…are you sure you saw Tong Sum? I don’t believe in ghosts. Or angels, for the matter of fact.
Chi San: (thoughtfully) Being the sceptical I am, I still don’t think I saw Tong Sum the other day…but things are cleared up. I am willing to make a fresh start with Man. After being down in the dumps for so longer, it sure felt good to feel happy again.
Fei: (shook his head) You know, if you’d taken my advice like, half a year ago…
Chi San: (interrupting) Things are rosy with you and Quin?
Fei: (smiling happily) Uh-huh. The past few days have been bliss, let me tell you. I simply can’t imagine how I spent the time without her in the past. God, I love her so much.
Chi San: You better treat Quin nicely. Don’t take her for granted…she is a treasure, you know. She is indeed a great person, a rare find.
Fei: (dreamily) A treasure…Tsui Fei’s treasure.
Chi San: (downing his drink in one gulp) I guess Quin finally learned to put her guilt towards Ching Ching behind her. I never thought I’d see this day.
Fei: Uhhh…you see…actually…urmmm…
Chi San: (curiously) What?
Fei: Urrmmmm…ahhhhhh…(mumbled under his breath in a rush) Kwandon’tactuallyrememberChingChing.
Chi San: (visibly confused) Huh? What are you trying to say?
Fei: (twisting his glass) What I am trying to say is…Kwan…don’t remember anything about Ching Ching.
Chi San: Quin doesn’t remember anything about Ching Ching?
Fei: No. Zip. Nada.
Chi San: (rolling his eyes) And I presume you didn’t tell her anything?
Fei: Uhhhh…
Chi San: I don’t believe what I’m hearing. Tsui Fei, did you just tell me what I thought you told me? You didn’t tell her anything? Nothing?
Fei: I’ll tell her, I’ll tell her. Soon enough, I’ll tell her.
Chi San: And just let me guess your “soon”. 1 day? 1 month? 1 year?
Fei: (sighed) Well…I…well…I’m just afraid she’ll leave me again…if she doesn’t know…she won’t leave…
Chi San: (sharply) That’s actually pretty selfish thinking. You are denying Quin the truth because of yourself. Haven’t you thought about how she would feel if she knew about this?
Fei:…
Chi San: Why? Ching Ching’s already gone. If Quin remembers…let’s just say it won’t be pretty. Not for you, Fei. She is bound to be upset with you.
Fei: (shook his head) I know, but…how do I begin to tell her? How? I don’t know…really. I don’t know how to deal with this.
Chi San: Let’s hope it’ll work out for the best.
Man glanced around her nervously. Why did I agree to meet him here? She shivered slightly and sat down on a bench provided in the park. She twisted her scraf. She never thought she’d see him again. Heck, she never wanted to see him again. It was shock when he called. She didn’t want to show up, when when he mentioned May May…
Man glanced at her watch. He was late. It was already five minutes past five o’clock.
Another five minutes passed.
Ten minutes.
Twenty minutes.
Half an hour.
He still hadn’t shown up. Man grew impatient. He has some nerve. What does he want from me? Man looked at her watch for the fiftieth time. If he’s not coming, I’m not going to hang around here. What a set-up. Man grabbed her bag and left the park. She didn’t notice her organizer dropping out from her bag.
Quin surveyed the blouse she was holding. Hmmm…is this blouse nice? I like the style…but maybe the colour is a little too bright. She turned to Fei.
Quin: What do you think?
Fei was draped over a clothing rack, his eyes glazed over with boredom.
Fei: Kwan…I’m so bored. Let’s get out of here.
Fei: (rubbing his arm) Ouch. What was that for?
Quin: I didn’t drag you along on this shopping trip. You wanted to come along…and I did tell you I want to do a little shopping. So don’t you complain now. And besides, you’re embarassing me.
Fei: (giving Quin a forlorn look) I didn’t expect to hang around a woman’s boutique for half an hour. Have you noticed I’m the only male here? It’s really torturing in here…
Quin: Go to the bookstore over there. I’ll meet you when I’ve finished picking out a blouse for Biu Yee.
Fei: (brightened up) Sure! I want to get a new book, anyway.
Fei: Promise you won’t take too long?
Quin: (laughed) I promise.
Quin continued rumaging through the clothes rack after Fei had left. Suddenly, there was a tap on her shoulder.
Quin: (without looking up) Got your book already? That was certainly quick.
Woman’s voice: Quin? Is it really you? Are you okay now?
Quin looked up and saw an unfamiliar face. She looked at the woman curiously.
Quin: I’m sorry, you are…?
Woman: (laughing) I know I’ve changed since I left for England, but I don’t expect to change so much, that you don’t recognize me! I’m Ching Ching, silly!
Quin: (flipping the pages in her brain mentally) Ching Ching?
Ching Ching: It’s so great to see you safe after the accident. When did you come out from your coma?
Quin: You know about my accident? Huh?
Ching Ching: (sensing something wasn’t quite right) Quin, are you okay?
Quin: I’m sorry…I don’t remember…
But as she spoke the words, an image hit Quin so sharply that she nearly cried out. She was transported back to her dream, her dream of seeing Fei with another woman…
For once, as the two friends sat in a corner of Chez Maman, neither was sulking, neither was depressed. Neither one was complaining, neither one had a sour expression. For a change, both were smiling happily and laughing.
(The dreamy expression left Fei’s face. He looked at his drink uneasily. )
(Fei continued twisting his drinking glass, refusing to meet Chi San’s eyes.)
(Chi San snorted.)
(Chi San’s heart went out to the desolate Fei. He patted him consolingly on the shoulder.)
(Quin looked at Fei with annoyance. She walked up him and smacked him on the arm.)
(Quin laughed and shoved Fei slightly.)
(He gave Quin a quick kiss on the cheek and headed out to the door.)
*~*~*FLASHBACK*~*~*
“Fei, what…? Is this the Ching Ching?”
“Kwan, you go back first. I’ll explain to you later, I promise.”
“Fei…”
“Kwan, please.”
“Why are you so selfish? Do you want her dead?”
“No, I must find Ching Ching, I must find her! I cannot let anything happen to her…”
“Ching Ching and I have our own world…I’m happy…I’m happy…
Ching Ching: Quin! Quin, are you okay?
Quin stared at Ching Ching. She remembered now. The impact of the memory nearly left her breathless. She could only stare at Ching Ching in shock. Ching Ching…Suddenly, anger crowded in. All this while, and no one told her about Ching Ching? Fei didn’t tell her?
Quin: I…I…am fine…
Ching Ching: (chattering away) So, how’s Fei now?
Quin momentarily started. Oh yeah, they were a couple. What the heck happened when I was in a coma? What happened to Fei and Ching Ching? Fei was supposed to be with Ching Ching. She looked at Ching Ching.
Quin: What happened between you and Fei?
Ching Ching: (surprised) We’ve broken up for about 5 months already...almost half a year now. Quin, are you sure you’re all right?
Quin: (ignoring Ching Ching’s question) Why did you break up? How could Fei leave you like that?
Ching Ching: Because Fei still loves you. He doesn’t love me…it was only out of responsibilty he stayed with me…anyway, we don’t have that kind of feelings for each other anymore. I left him. He didn’t leave me. (stared at Quin weirdly) Quin, are you truly okay?
Quin: (shaking her head) I’m sorry…It’s just that I’ve recently recovered from amnesia…result of the accident…
Ching Ching: (shocked) You mean you had amnesia? I’m sorry, I didn’t know…
Quin: I think I need to go now.
Ching Ching: Quin, wait!
(Quin turned around.)
Ching Ching: Whatever is it that had happened; please don’t doubt Fei’s love for you. He loves you more than life itself. Don’t worry about me. I’m happy now, happier than what I’ve been in the past. I lead my own life.
Quin smiled weakly.
Quin: Thanks for telling me. Bye, Ching Ching.
Quin turned and walked out of the boutique, her promise of meeting Fei at the bookstore forgotten. She only knew that she felt very confused, and needed to be left alone to sort out her feelings.
Fei waited.
What happened to Quin? He had rounded the shopping mall for about an hour, and her paged about 5 times, and still, there was no sign of her. He tapped a number into his cellphone. “We’re sorry, the number that you dialed…” Fei stifled an impatient sigh and cancelled his call. He began to worry. Irrational thoughts began crowding into his head…Quin being kidnapped, robbed, lying in a ditch somewhere…Fei’s imagination ran wild. Calm down, Fei. Don’t let your imagination run away with you. First, try to find her. Fei headed down to the car park. He had no choice, but to find her. He knew his mind wouldn’t rest if he didn’t see her. Please be okay, Kwan. I wouldn’t be able to take it if anything happened to you…
Man arrived at the restaurant, a bit out of breath. She saw Chi San sitting in a corner and walked over to his table. Chi San rose and gave Man an affectionate peck on the cheek.
Chi San: Hi there. Where’ve you been? I tried calling you, but I couldn’t reach you.
Man: Oh…I was with…urmm…one of the parents of my students. Had an unexpected visit, and we had a parent-teacher conference.
Her face blushed warm at the outright lie. She didn’t want to tell him anything. Besides, there isn’t any need to tell him.
Chi San: Do you remember this restaurant?
Man: (smiled) Of course. We used to come here all the time when we were dating back then. The food and the enviroment are so good. And Tong Sum…
(Her voice trailed off uncertainly. She glanced at her water glass. Chi San knew what she was thinking. Taking her hand in his, he smiled reassuringly.)
Chi San: Yeah, do you remember how Tong Sum tripped and fell on the waiter? The soup the waiter was carrying poured over this lady’s fancy hairstyle, which was piled up like a beehive. (laughed) It really was a riot.
Man looked at Chi San. His eyes assured her. Don’t get carried away, silly. It is you I am with now. Tong Sum is in the past. Man felt her love for Chi San overwhelmed. She returned Chi San’s smile and squeezed his hand affectionately.
Chi San: (conversationally) Korean and Gigi had a little lover’s spat today.
Man: Really? What happened?
Chi San: I don’t know the details, but supposedly, Korean lied to Gigi about something. (thoughtfully) I think it is really important for a couple to be open and be honest with each other, don’t you? (jokingly) For example, if I’m meeting an old flame, I’ll be sure to tell you.
(Man’s face grew red again. She sipped her water without saying anything.)
Chi San: I think it is great to have a relationship like ours. I’m not afraid to tell you anything about my past, Tong Sum…it is good to be honest with each other, and tell each other what is happening…keep up with each other’s lives. I wouldn’t want to hide anything from you, and I’m sure you are not going to hide anything from me either, right?
(Suddenly, Man choked on her water and coughed violently. Chi San immediately helped to soothe her coughing fit.)
Man: Excuse me, please, Chi San.
Man pushed back her chair and headed towards the ladies restroom. Chi San looked after her thoughtfully. He couldn’t help feeling that something was bothering Man. She seemed so distracted and bothered. Chi San frowned. Is Man hiding something from me?
Man, meanwhile, was feeling disturbed by Chi San’s words. “I’m sure you’re not hiding anything from me…” Guilt overwhelmed Man for a moment. He couldn’t have been more wrong about that.
Quin sat on the beach. She was feeling hurt and confused. How could Fei hide such a big matter from her? It had already been two and a half months since she reconciled with him. All this while, and he never told her?He knew. He knew why I was having that dream, and yet, he didn’t tell me. How could he? Quin felt anger crowding in. Why did Fei kept the secret of Ching Ching? Was he afraid that she’d leave him?
Quin pondered. If Fei told her from the start, would she have left him? Reluctantly, Quin knew the answer to her question. If Fei had been honest and told her everything about their past, their history, Ching Ching…she would have insisted he go back to Ching Ching. She never wanted to hurt Ching Ching.
Hurt Ching Ching? Quin thought about Ching Ching’s words. She had said that Fei loved Quin. If he loved me, he wouldn’t have lied to me when I asked about my dream.
Ching Ching…Quin thought about her. She had looked relaxed and happy at the boutique. The tenseness that Quin once sensed in the old Ching Ching was gone. Ching Ching was over Fei. She was right. She was happier now then when she was back then, when she was still with Fei.
It wasn’t the issue of Ching Ching. For once, it wasn’t the issue of Ching Ching. It was a matter of trust. Quin had trusted Fei with all her heart. But he hadn’t been honest to her. He actually looked at her in the face and told her her dream meant nothing when he knew it meant something. He lied. Quin felt angry, hurt and betrayed.
Quin wrapped her arms around her knees desolately. A tear trickled down her cheek.
Just that morning, she had basked in the warm security of Fei’s love. Now, she didn’t know what to think anymore. She didn’t know whether could she forgive Fei for hiding something this important from her. The worst part was, she felt the kind of wrenching pain she was feeling right now was because she loved him. She loved him so much. And it was her love for him that caused his dishonesty to hurt her so much.
Quin buried her face in her hands and wept.
Will Quin be able to forgive Fei? How will Fei explain his way out of this one? On the other hand, what exactly is Man hiding from Chi San? Find out in the next chapter!
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Yong June-Ling
Copyright 2001