Blood dripped from my forehead. No. From all over my body. Why? Why does it have to be this way? He was just trying to protect me.

**********

 I heard a knock on the door. Well, the knocker is sure in a hurry. I woke up from my drowsy dream, and walked towards the door. I could see my sleep mate has already left. His shoes are gone. I opened the door and found my angry brother ready to shout.
 
 “Are you happy now?” he started to burst while pushing me aside and walked in my apartment.
 “Hyde-nisan, this is my own life. You don’t have to interfere in it,” I yawned and climbed back to bed after I shut the door.
 “Aoi! You’ve turned into a SLUT!” shouted my brother while cleaning the floor from all the condom wrappings.
 “So what?” I wrapped myself into the blanket again. Ready to sleep again, but he pulled my blanket so roughly and I fell to the ground, “Baka! It hurts!” I shouted at him while rubbing my bumped elbow.
 “Aoi! Look at me! Why are you turning into such a horrible thing? What’ll Mom say when she sees you like this?” he grabbed my shoulder and shook me. I slapped his hands off.
 “What do you care? Maybe it’s because of the bad weather,” I replied cynically, “And besides, Mom is too busy working around the world. She won’t even notice if I’m dead,” I chuckled and a hard slap landed on my left cheek.
 “How could you say that? Mom worked real hard for us since Dad died! You should at least be thankful to her!” shouted Hyde with all his emotions.
 “Shut up. I warn you I’m not in such a good mood now,” I looked at him coldly, hoping that he’ll give up.
 “Aoi, tell me, what happened? Since you moved here, no, since 3 months ago, you haven’t sent us any news. What happened?” Hyde asked again with his voice lowered.
 “Leave,” I dismissed him in an unpleasant tone.
 “Aoi,” he tried to approach me again, but I stared at him.
 “I said leave. Don’t make me hate you more,” I repeated and opened the door for him.

 He wanted to say something again, but he sighed desperately instead. He slowly walked out of my apartment, but paused in the doorway. He turned to face me again, but I ignored him and slammed the door.
 I climbed back to bed, hoping to get more sleep. But Hyde’s visit made me to wake up the whole day. I reached for my Slim Camel, and lit one. I puffed the toxic smoke out from my nostrils and chuckled. Hmph. Mom. Yeah, she won’t even notice if I’m dead. Because I’m already dead.
 My wallet lay dead on the desk. I wondered how much I spent yesterday at the boutique. I reached for it and pulled all the receipts out. A Gucci necklace, a Guess tank top, a Prada bag, and a Versace shoe. Hmm, not so much as I thought. Mom always sends me a lot of money as if I could buy the whole boutique. Yeah. Money settles the problem. As always.
 My Korean and Japanese driving license plucked out. Aoi Takarai. Student. Well, not a student anymore now. I puffed again, and pulled out my family picture. Me, my brother, Hyde Takarai, and my parents. Mako and Daichi Takarai. Hyde is 15 years older than me, so sometimes he acts like a father to me. Well, my real father died of a car accident when I was 5. Since then, Mom worked real hard and succeeded in a computer company. Hyde also worked hard in a bank. While I was just told to go to school and be happy.
 2 years ago, I came here to Korea for a job. I graduated as a Magna Cum Laude in fashion design, and one of the branded companies here hired me. I’m a freelance now. Although not as a designer.

 “Yaaa~~awn, oh I better get out for fresh air!” I stretched my arms high in the air and walked to the shower.
 After a quick sprinkle of water, I dressed up. Hmm, what should I bring with me? Oh, my wallet of course, my cell phone, my cigarette and the lighter, my make up kit, and don’t forget, ‘safety-rubbers’. I placed them all in my handbag and ready to go. Just when I opened the door, I saw the most annoying person in my life.
 
 “Why are you still here?” I snapped coldly to my brother.
 “Aoi, come with me. Come home,” he whispered.
 “Never. I have a great life here! Why should I go back?” I walked away but he pulled my arms, “Let go,” I slapped him off, but he tighten his grip.
 “If you don’t want to go home, you could at least tell me what’s going on! Why are you working as a prostitute? Your neighbor told me that every night you come home with different men!” Hyde straightly said to my eyes with a lowered voice.
 
 I stayed silent. Why should I tell him my reasons? He wasn’t even there when I begged, when I craved for help. No one was around. I glared at him again, and forced myself to get loose of him. I ignored him and walked away.
 “Aoi!” he called for me but I kept on walking towards the elevator.
 “Stop following me,” I said when he entered the elevator with me.
 “Aoi! Are you not satisfied with all this? A luxurious apartment for your own, a Jaguar, a very large monthly allowance, and beauty paired with such intelligence! You can run a better life!” he shook me again.
 “I didn’t ask for all of it. You and Mom just told me to be happy. And here I am,” I stepped out of the elevator and called for the valet parking to pick up my car.
 “I’ll go with you until I get explanations,” Hyde ran after me, and I cancelled my car.
 
 He really followed me everywhere. I went to all annoying places that he hates, but he didn’t give up at all. I stopped at a park, and turned around to face him. I’ve had enough of my brother stalking me everywhere.
 “Ni-san! Don’t you have work to do in Japan? And how long have you been here actually?” I asked in a high tone.
 “I’ve been here since last week. Every day I came to your apartment, but I always came at the wrong time. Just today I was finally able to reach you,” he was panting. He was never a healthy boy since we were kids, but I ignored his suffer.
 “You didn’t answer my first question,” I reached for my cigar and lit it, but my brother snagged it away.
 “I took a month off. Now, will you explain?” he grabbed my shoulders again. I’m getting sick of this. I was about to shout at him again, but someone called me from behind. No, it can’t be.
 “Aoi! There you are! I was looking all over for you!” Kang Ta called from afar while running towards us.
 “What do you want?” I asked without interest.
 “If you want to hire her, well sorry. She’s not available today!” Hyde suddenly snapped and hid me behind his back.
 “Baka! I never slept with this pathetic thing! Now answer me Kang Ta,” I angrily slapped my brother’s head and walked affront.
 “Before that, who are you?” Kang Ta asked confusedly while pointing to my brother.
 “He’s my brother, now ANSWER!” I snapped impatiently.
 “Oh, hello. Well, I was wondering could you help me with some assignments? The company ordered me to design some wedding gowns, but I’m not so good in it. Could you help me?” Kang Ta pleaded cautiously to me.
 “No. Now get lost,” I walked past him and left my brother behind. I’ll never step into the designing world again. Ever.

***********

 I watched my sister walking away from me. Her short skirt revealed her white skin. And her high boots made her look taller. Her tight strapless top made every man stare at her. And her dyed red hair waved through the air, showing off her giant earrings to every woman that envies her beauty.
 I sighed. She used to be such a cute little girl. With her pigtails hanging from her head, and her pink little dress. What has happened to my little angel? I noticed that this Kang Ta guy stared at her and sighed desperately too. Maybe he knows something.
 
 “Hey, uhm, Kang Ta?” I tapped his shoulder slowly.
 “Yes?” he turned to face me.
 “I haven’t introduced myself. My name is Hyde Takarai. Aoi’s brother,” I stretched out my hand and he shook it gently.
 “I’m Kang Ta. I used to be Aoi’s partner at the company,” he introduced himself and sighed again.
 “What actually happened to her? She was fine the last 2 years, and suddenly since 3 months ago, she stopped contacting us. Either me or our mother. What happened?” I asked in concern.

 Kang Ta seems to hesitate for a while. He took off his eyeglass and brushed his softy brown hair then he sat on a bench. I sat beside him, and waited for him to answer. He looked at me,
 “I tried all my best to help her. But she kept on pulling back,” Kang Ta sighed.
 “What happened?” I asked again, starting to grow impatient.

 He looked at me once more, and started to tell me the whole truth. A very horrible truth.

**********

 I sipped my Vodka and glared through the pub. No. Not that one. Too slim. For all this time I tried hard to look for someone exactly like him. But they all just ended missing a part. Where could I find one?
 
I tossed some money to pay and was ready to leave, but I bumped into someone,
 “Oh, sorry, I—“ I paused when I looked up and saw his face. I gasped and dropped my purse. He picked it up for me and handed it back.
 “Here,” he said.
 “Dong Wan,” I whispered in disbelief.
 
 He just smiled and turned away. He left the pub so quickly and I ran after him. But when I went out, he was nowhere. I looked left and right but there was no trace of him. I checked my wristwatch. It was only 4 pm, and I just had 3 glasses of Vodka. Maybe I’m just daydreaming.
 His figure won’t leave my mind. Was it really him? No, it can’t be. He’s dead. Dong Wan is already dead. I entered a French restaurant and ordered a large portion of spaghetti to shake of my mind. No. It’s just an illusion, I reassured myself while entering the luxurious restaurant.
 I ordered a Napolitan sauced spaghetti and a bottle of beer.
 
 “I’m sorry Miss, but the spaghetti left is the Eggplant sauce, and the Green Bell sauce,” a waiter approached me and handed me the menu to choose another.
 “No, I guess I’ll just cancel. Thanks anyway,” I stood up and left.

 Dong Wan. His name kept on echoing repeatedly in my head. It blinded my visions. His face was covering me, and I felt the world spinning violently. I was about to fall down, but I felt a strong arm grabbing me and stood me up again. I looked around and realized that I’m in the park. I turned again and saw my brother’s face.
 
 “I knew what happened,” he whispered and I was shocked. I saw Kang Ta behind him and knew at once who told him.
 “Thanks Kang Ta. Now my brother is pitying myself too,” I cynically said and let go. I felt my feet wobble then Hyde caught me again.
 “You’ve been drinking again,” Kang Ta helped Hyde to take me to the bench.
 
 I sighed and breathed fresh air into my lungs. I looked up and noticed the sky was getting darker. What time is it anyway? I have to get back. I want to take a rest. I want to forget about everything. I tried to stand up again, but suddenly I got splashed by a very cool water.
 “WTF!!!” I cursed in surprise.
 “Wake up, Aoi! This is not a way of life!” Hyde shouted at my face with a bottle of cool Evian in his hand.
 “Then tell me, how should I live?” I looked up at him and felt my temples tighten.
 “Anyway, but not this!” Kang Ta said aloud.

 I stood up. This time so firm and fresh, thanks to the cold water that splashed my head. Water dripped from my chin, and I felt my mascara melt. I glared coldly at my brother and Kang Ta. I felt my heart thumping and my breath panting. I tighten my fists and felt my own manicured nails stabbing my palm.

 “You didn’t even try to help when it happened, Kang Ta. And you, where were you when I cried for help, Ni-san?” my voice was no louder than a whisper, but it banged in my head. My mind is spinning, the incident was twirling around like it just happened yesterday. No! Which one is the real world? Which one is not? Where am I?

 “Aoi! Wake up! I tried to help, but it was too late when I arrived! And your brother was in Japan! How could he know, how could he hear you screaming?” Kang Ta shook my body to call me back, but no. I can’t wake up. I can’t.
 “Aoi!” I heard Hyde calling me, but I was far away. I can’t hear you anymore, Ni-san.
 “SHUT UP!!!!” I shouted and closed my ears. It’s confusing. Where am I? Am I in that room again? Or am I sleeping in my comfortable bed with a substitute of Dong Wan by my side? Someone, help me. I don’t where I am, or who I am.

 I felt my feet carrying me away. Where am I going? To the past? To replay that horrible day? Really? No. I have to get back. I have to run back home, where my beloved ones are waiting for me. My mother. My brother. No. They’re not around to help me. No. I can’t go back there too. I’m stuck in the middle. No. I don’t want to see it again.
 No!

*********

 Aoi sighed lightly in her desk. Why did the boss make her work overtime? The wedding gown exhibition is still far away, but why does she have to design it now? It was already 10 PM, and Dong Wan promised to pick her up at 9. Maybe it’s just a traffic jam. She cheered herself with drawing a sketch of her dream gown. Hopefully she’ll be able to wear it on her wedding day with Dong Wan.
 Suddenly she felt her neck shivered, as if someone was staring at her. She slowly looked around and found her boss staring at her deeply. Her boss was only 3 years older than her, and he was the top idol in the building. Rich, handsome, and very intelligent. But she didn’t have a flicker on him. She’s deeply in love with Dong Wan.

 “Any progress, Aoi?” Lee Jung Woo, her boss, asked while approaching her desk and peered to her work sheets.
 “Uhm, just a bit. Can I get down now? I think my boyfriend is almost here. I don’t want him to bother himself getting all the way up here,” she tried to get away. She felt something was wrong with her boss.
 “No, let him bother himself, and make him prove his love,” Jung Woo said while placing his hand on her shoulder.
 “But, maybe he’s exhausted by the traffic jam. He promised to be here at 9, and now it’s 10. I just don’t have the heart,” Aoi said while slowly moving away. She felt her heart bump.
 “Oh, sometimes you have to be heartless. If not, they won’t fall for you,” Jung Woo gently rubbed her cheeks and Aoi jumped out of her desk.
 “I, I think I should go now,” she was very frightened now. She grabbed her handbag and moved backwards, but she stumbled and fell down.

 She crawled backwards, while Jung Woo chuckled and moved towards her. She tried to move to the exit, but suddenly Jung Woo pranced on her. She screamed and slapped Jung Woo with her handbag, but it wasn’t strong enough to make him back off.
 
 “Don’t be afraid. I only want to taste you a bit,” grinned Jung Woo evilly and licked her cheeks. Aoi screamed again and tried punch him, but he caught her hands. Dong Wan, Hyde-nisan, Mom, where are you? She shouted desperately in her head.
 “You can’t do this to me! I could make your business shatter in pieces once I report of sexual harassment!” Aoi tried to threat him, but Jung Woo chuckled and laughed in insane.
 “Be my guest. My father is the head chief in the police department. And he loves me dearly,” Jung Woo kissed her neck and she kicked his groins. He howled and rolled away.

 Aoi stood up, but Jung Woo caught her legs again, and she fell down. Jung Woo once again sat on top of her, and she tried to kick him, to hit him, but he was too strong. He grabbed her hands again, and laughed evilly.
 “You better give up, precious. I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispered to her ears, and began his filthy work on her.

 Dong Wan ran to the elevator. He was very late, thanks to the traffic jam. The security recognized him, and granted him to use the elevator. The security turned it on, and Dong Wan quickly pushed the ‘15’ button. He waited impatiently inside and quickly ran to Aoi’s office.
 He reached the metal handle on the glass door, and tried to open it, but it was locked. He was confused. He reached his cell phone and was ready to dial, when he heard a ‘thud’ from inside. He peered, and he was shocked. He saw Jung Woo violently moving up and down on top of Aoi. She was bleeding and sobbing while trying hard to let go.
 “AAAOOOIIIII!!!” Dong Wan shouted while trying to knock down the door.

 He looked around and saw the stone ashtray in sight. He picked it up, didn’t know where his strength came from, and threw it towards the glass door. It shattered in pieces, and Jung Woo jumped up, and zipped his trousers quickly. Aoi crawled away while sobbing and trying to cover her bleeding body with the left pieces of her clothes.

 “YOU BASTARD!!!” Dong Wan shouted while, attacking Jung Woo with hard blows. Aoi tried to stand up and reach for the phone.

 She dialed for security in all her might, and waited to be picked up.
 [Yes?] the security answered with a drowse.
 “H, help! Quick, help us!” her voice was gone, she can’t say anything louder than she could now.
 [Hello? Is it you, Miss Takarai? Hello?] the security seems to be confused.
 “He, help,” she felt her feet weaken, and she fell on her knees.

 Dong Wan and Jung Woo were still fighting each other, and Dong Wan suddenly fell to the ground. Jung Woo grabbed a large scissor from the sewing table and held it up high. Aoi stared at the scene in horror, and she couldn’t stop the insane man.
 “NNOOOOO!!!!” she screamed.

 Too late. Jung Woo stabbed the scissor, but Aoi was able to grab another scissor, and she stabbed it too on Jung Woo. It went through his heart, and he fell to the ground. Aoi also fell, and shrieked in horror when she saw Dong Wan.
 “Dong Wan! Dong Wan!” she crawled towards his bleeding figure. He was spurting blood from his mouth, and the scissor was planted right through his lungs.
 “A, Aoi, are you, ok?” he asked in all his might while brushing her cheek.
 “I’m ok, I’m ok! It’s you that’s hurt! I’ll call for help!” Aoi couldn’t feel her pain anymore. Dong Wan was all her concern. She tried to grab the phone and pressed any fast dial she reached. The handle dropped down and she was about to reach it, but Dong Wan grabbed her hand instead.
 “Aoi, no matter (burst blood) what he did to you, I’ll, I’ll love you always,” and Dong Wan spurted out more blood from his mouth.
 “NNOOO~O! Don’t say it again!! Please!!” she hugged him in her arms, and sobbed.

 It was Kang Ta’s number that she dialed. Kang Ta was confused about all the strange noise, and he was about to hang up when he heard Aoi’s scream. He quickly hung up and ran to the office.
 The securities just arrived and they were shocked when they saw the situation. Aoi was half naked, and she was sobbing on Dong Wan’s dead body. One of them quickly placed a jacket on her, while another one dialed the police.
 Kang Ta arrived when the police arrived too. An ambulance was also there, and he could hear Aoi screaming and wailing.
 “Aoi! Aoi!” Kang Ta called out, and a medic approached him.
 “Are you her family?” she asked.
 “No, she lives alone here, but I’m her working partner. What happened?” Kang Ta asked while trying to take a look at Aoi.
 “Please, come with us, Sir. We’ll talk all about it on the way,” the medic lead him to the police car, and they drove away in a rush.

 It was hell.

**********

 Where am I? Oh, I’m at the beach. My favorite dating spot with Dong Wan. No, I’m at the park. No, no, where am I? Someone please tell me. Dong Wan, why are you not here to help me? Hyde-nisan? Mom? Kang Ta? Where are you all?
 Oh, no. I really am at the beach. What time is it? I checked my wristwatch again. It was 11. Come to think of it, it’s the 100th anniversary of Dong Wan’s death. How ironic. I’m supposed to celebrate my anniversary with Dong Wan by this time, but I’m here for his death instead.
 I lit my Slim Camel again, and puffed white smokes. It sting in my eyes,
 “Shit,” I cursed while rubbing my eyes, but it sting more.

 I felt my tears fall down. No. I forgot how to cry. My tears were dried up since that day. Since I died. Dong Wan was my soul, and he’s dead. So I’m mostly dead too. Tears kept on running down, and I felt myself sobbed. My heart ached, and my shoulders trembled.
 Funny.

***************************

 “Where could she be?” I knocked and rung her doorbell but no one answered. Her neighbor said that she’s not home yet.
 “Hyde hyung, maybe she’s at the beach. She usually goes there with Dong Wan,” Kang Ta said to me.
 “Are you sure?” I asked.
 “Yes. Today is exactly the 100th day Dong Wan died. Maybe she’s there for reminiscence,” Kang Ta reassured.
 “Ok. Let’s get there. We better hurry, it’s time for the high tide,” I nodded and ran out of the apartment.

**********************

 Now, where am I? It seems that I’m at Dong Wan’s apartment. Well, it used to be his apartment. I still remembered my reaction when he said that he was an orphan since 3. He worked hard and succeeded as a computer programmer then he bought a flat in this apartment. Where are you Dong Wan? I really miss you.
 His door. Now I’m standing in front of his door. No. It used to be his door. It felt warm. Is he inside now? I felt my legs so weak, and I fell to the floor. Placing my forehead on his used-to-be door. No. It still is his door.
 I closed my eyes slowly, and sensed air from under the door. Yes. He’s inside. We just had a fight and I refuse to go home. I waited for hours in front of his flat. Standing still. I wore my sky blue dress that he likes, but why did we end up fighting? I placed my finger down, but the breeze didn’t come out again. Is he out? Did he left without passing me?
 
 “Miss, are you alright? That flat is empty, maybe you’re at the wrong number,” a lady approached me, and tapped my shoulder.
 “Empty? No, it’s not empty. He’s inside, I know he is,” I shook my head and stood up.
 “Miss, are you alright?” the lady asked again.
 “Yes, I’m alright. I’m alright,” I answered.

 The lady left me alone in the hallway. I watched her leave. Leave. Dong Wan left me. Why? Why did he leave me? I started to sob and fell on my knees again.
 “Dong Wan, please, I miss you so much!” I whispered.

 Suddenly the door opened and a very bright light shone from inside. I saw a blurry figure in it, and I was very excited to see who it was.
 “Dong Wan!” I cheered and ran inside.

 He didn’t say a word. He just smiled, and opened his arms widely. I ran to his arms and hugged him. We kissed each other and spilled out all our feelings. I looked up at him and smiled.
 “I missed you,” I whispered.
 “So do I,” he whispered back and kissed me again. The silver light covered us, and I felt so warm in it.

 I don’t want to let him go. I’ll never let him go.

 Never.

***************************

 “She’s not here!” Kang Ta shouted in panic.
 “Where could she be?” Hyde looked around the beach while brushing his dark hair in panic.
 “It’s too dark to keep on searching. Maybe we have to ask someone,” Kang Ta suggested.
 “At this time? It’s almost midnight for heaven’s sake!” Hyde shook his head in disbelief.
 “Excuse me, what are you doing here?” a policeman approached them with a flashlight and almost made them blind.
  “I’m looking for my sister! She was probably here a while ago. Have you seen her, sir?” Hyde asked while walking towards the police and tried to cover his eyes from the flashlight.
 “A girl? Well, I saw one earlier, and she looked strange. I called her, but she ignored me, and walked away instead,” the policeman lowered his flashlight.
 “That must be her. Did you notice where she headed to?” Kang Ta asked.
 “She headed north,” the policeman pointed up of the road with his flashlight.
 “North? Then she must be at Dong Wan’s apartment. Thank you, sir,” Kang Ta said and grabbed Hyde’s arm then ran up north.

 At the apartment, they asked for help at the front office. It was the lady that talked to Aoi earlier.
 “She was acting a bit strange. She’s in front of room 607. It’s empty but she refuses to listen to me. Come to think of it, I think I saw her before,” the lady said with a mysterious tone.
 “Of course you’ve seen her. She’s the girlfriend from the guy that used to live in that room. He’s dead now,” Kang Ta sighed impatiently.
 “Oh, no wonder I thought I recognized her! Poor thing, she must miss him so much,” the lady sighed.
 “So? Is she still there?” Hyde asked impatiently.
 “I think she is. I haven’t seen her leave the front door yet. Just go up to the 6th floor, and then left to the hallway. The room is 607,” the lady explained.
 “Thank you,” and they both ran to the elevator.

 Inside the elevator, Hyde walked around in circles. Don’t do anything stupid, Aoi, he prayed to himself. A distant ‘cling’ was heard and the elevator stopped at the 6th floor. They both hurriedly ran to room 607. They were shocked to see the door opened so widely.

 “Aoi! Where are you?” Hyde called from outside.
 “Aoi! It’s us!” Kang Ta added.

 No answers were heard, so they stepped in the dusty apartment. The only furniture left was a couch and a stool. It was covered in sheets, and spider webs were all over the place. Hyde was allergic to dust and he breathed heavily inside the room, but he didn’t care. He had to look for her.
 They checked every room and didn’t found her. Kang Ta checked the bedroom, and Hyde checked the bathroom. Suddenly Kang Ta shrieked in horror. Hyde quickly ran towards the sound and gasped.

 “Aoi!!!!” Hyde shouted and knelt beside Aoi who was lying on the dusty floor.
 “Aoi! Are you ok? Wake up, Aoi!” Kang Ta tapped her cheeks a several times, and was shocked when he noticed her body temperature, “She’s cold,” he whispered and went pale.
 “No!” Hyde lifted her up and sensed her pulse. It wasn’t beating, “Aoi! Aoi!” Hyde went pale too and kept on calling.
 “Hyung, she’s gone,” Kang Ta whispered in despair.
 “No she’s not! Aoi! Wake up Aoi! Wake up! Aoi!” Hyde shook her body and tapped her pale cheeks.
 
 Hyde started to sob, and held Aoi tightly to his chest. His only sister, his beloved sister, is now gone, and he couldn’t do a thing to make her stay.

 “At least, maybe she’s happy to be with Dong Wan again,” Kang Ta said between his sniffs, “Look, she’s smiling,” he brushed her cheek and her hair.
 
 Hyde looked at her pale face and noticed a small smile on her lips. He sobbed again and felt heavy at heart for letting her go.

 But maybe it’s just the best for her.
 

*Special Thansk To AeJaLove*