Note: Some of these lists are over 10, and a couple are under, so deal with it!! :o) Thanx!

  Top 10 reasons not to go back to school:
10. There's still beer in the fridge!!!
9. Pesky goals of education and self-improvement interfere with live O.J. coverage.
8. Tired of being the only kid in the third grade with a beard and a driver's license.
7. It's the only place where Mel Reynolds could get work was as a sub.
6. Homeroom teacher hates cigar smoke.
5. Seven day waiting period for handgun not up yet.
4. Payoff check from Michael Jackon's attorney just arrived.
3. That hot babe, Shannon Faulkner, dropped out.
2. Don't have enough CRACK and GUNs to share with the whole class.
1. Parents won't buy you a new gun, and the old one can only get off three or four good shots before jamming.

  Top 10 rejected text book titles:
10. "History According to Saddam"
9. "The History of Phlegm: A pictorial guide of loogies through the centuries."
8. "Recreational Pharmacy"
7. "Dissecting the Male Anatomy" by Lorena Bobbit
6. "See Dick Find Jane's Spot."
5. "So, You've Reached Puberty!" by Marv Albert
4. "Fun with Dick and Dan" from the Alternative Lifestyle Press
3. "Basic Bong Construction"
2. "From Chick to Broad: A Brief History of Women" by Bevis and Butthead
1. Curious George: A Man and His Monkey

  Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty In Law But Aren't:
10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He is one hard judge!
8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.
7. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.
6. Is it a penal offense?
5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
1. Think you can get me off?

  Top 10 of Schwarzenegger's future movies:
10. Last Action Hero II: The Apology
9. Driving Over Miss Daisy
8. Howitzer's End
7. The Fuhrmanator
6. My Left Foot...Can Kick Your Ass
5. OJ 2: Judgement Day
4. Arnold as Jesus in "The Last Action Supper." This time you can be sure he'll be back.
3. Hooked On Phonics: The Movie
2. "The Ramifications of Post-Millenialism on Disenfranchised Social Groups" - a documentary
1.first grade cop (he had to graduate some time)

  The top 10 rejected Disney dwarf names:
10. Bitchy
9. Discharge
8. Faggy, the politically correct dwarf.
7. Walter
6. Scabby
5. Midgeie
4. Flatulant
3. Junkie
2. Stiffy
1. Ross Perot

  Top 10 rejected Halloween candy:
10. Reese's Peanut Butter D-Cups.
9. Nestle's Stoolchunk.
8. Reese's Feces.
7. Hershey Squirts.
6. The Anatomically-Correct Gingerbread Man.
5. little weinies at lorena bobbitt's house
4. Finger sandwiches at Jeffrey Dahmer's house.
3. Dingleberry muffins.
2. Nicole Brown Simpson Pez Dispensers.
1. Dr. Scholl's Candied Corns.

  Top 10 of the worst things to say at a funural:
10. "Well, at least I know where he's sleeping tonight!"
9. "So, did she find Jesus, or is she burning in Hell?"
8. "Does this mean I get my own room now?"
7. "Hey, they covered the track marks well."
6. "You picked a good coffin Mr. Smith. My secretary and I used it regularly."
5. "Bummer. I hear they just found the cure for that."
4. "Hello. We're from the Prize Patrol at Publisher's Clearinhouse. We'd like to deliver ten million dollars to our lucky wi .... Ah. Never Mind."
3."No you're not--I'M the widow."
2. "C'mon people--GEEZ! We need to put the "FUN" back in "FUNeral!"
1. "So is that rigor mortus, or is he just happy to see us?"

  Top 10 things not to do when you're naked:
10. Swim in a lake stocked full of large-mouth bass.
9. Turn the vacuum on yourself and play "hickey machine."
8. Take the opportunity to lay down that extra layer of fiberglass insulation in the attic
7. Play touch football at a prosthesis-wearers convention.
6. Compete in annual community "Frozen Flagpole Climb."
5. Any verb ending with the suffix "-ectomy."
4. Anything involving Rush Limbaugh and experiments with static electricity.
3. Head on over to the neighbors' to borrow their thermometer.
2. If you're a mime, do NOT attempt to imitate a helicopter.
1. Shoplift.

  Top 10 rejected christmas specials:
10. Frosty the anatomically correct Snowman
9. How the Grinch stole a credit card access code and a lot of Christmas gifts.
8. Santa's a hoax, Charlie Brown!
7. Penthouse Productions Presents: It Came Upon A Midnight Clear.
6. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus--but he's not coming to our house because we're Jewish.
5. Michael Jackson's Christmas with the Vienna Boy's Choir.
4. Louis Farrakhan's "White Christmas: The Oppresions of Santa".
3. I Got Cancer for Christmas
2. The Erotic Adventures of Not-Exactly-Tiny Tim
1. The NBC Movie of the Week: Santa Molested Me

  Top 10 signs there may be trouble on the sesame street set:
10.Puppeteers refusing to wear silk gloves that put the Muppets at ease.
9. Ernie demands his own dressing room, says he's been carrying Bert too long.
8. Three-year old beaten severely by Big Bird for not knowing a word that begins with Q
7. A disgruntled Grover climbs a tree and starts picking off children. It would be six hours before marksmen finally took him down...
6. The Count strolls in 6 hours late for rehearsal with Yoko Ono on his arm.
5. Bert's new Lexus is covered with some BIG bird droppings.
4. Snuffalupagus just did a drive-by on Mr. Roger's Neighborhood.
3. A few backstage shoving matches reveal tension surrounding Cookie Monster's upcoming tell-all book and talk show tour.
2. Kermit gets replaced by Budweiser Frogs.
1. Nude boy seen running from Oscar's can.

  Top 16 best names to use for the subsatute teacher:
16.Pat MaGroin
15. Oliver Clothesoff
14. Neil Focash
13. G. Howie Fartz
12. Pete Moss
11. Mike Hunt
10. Amanda Huginkiss
9. Hugh G. Rection
8. Jenny Talia
7. Al Bino
6. Hugh Jazz
5. Sal Manilla
4. Jacques Strapp
3. Lemmy Phartagen
2. Mike Griffone
1.Haywood Jablowme
*if you want to have youre name by those up there. (by the 2 awsome people) just tell me and ill add it on*

  The top 10 funniest things found on the little black boxes:
10. "But I brought the fire extinguisher LAST time"
9. "Here's your 10 bucks. I guess you CAN fly a 747 with both hands tied behind your back."
8. "Buh-bye."
7. "Yeah?! Well, 10 bucks says you can't fly any lower!"
6. "Those people look like ants. Now they look like bees. Now they look like squirrels. Now they look like children. Hey, now they look like people..."
5. Oh good, he engines stopped making that annoying humming sound.
4. "Hey, wanna scare the living hell out of some alligators?" 3. "Dammit!
2. "Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."
1. "If this flight goes down, I hope people don't write a lot of tasteless and insensitive jokes about it."

  Top ten least effective ways to kill yourself:
10. With a spork.
9. Consume way more than the FDA recommended allowance of Pez.
8. Failure to wear proper headgear while riding your Big Wheel.
7. Hanging yourself with Silly String.
6. Purposely contract a bad case of athletes foot.
5. Rolling up the windows, locking all the doors, and letting your motor run in the parking lot.
4. Write Dr. Kevorkian a bad check.
3. Running with a lollipop in your mouth.
2. Jump off the edge of the world.
1. Pricking your finger and squeezing as hard as you can. and as always scaring youreself half to
death twice

  Top 10 things (other than kissing a classmate) that can get you in big trouble in second grade:
10. Threatening your teacher with a sharpened crayon.
9. Jumping straight to the "double dog dare" without first making standard "double dare."
8. Power Rangers lunch box packed with diesel fuel and fertilizer
7. Being the paste-pusher to the first-graders.
6. Bending your teacher over a chair while screaming "Who's your daddy?! Who's your daddy?!"
5. Kissing a classmate of the same sex.
4. Exploding silly Santa Claus and stork myths for the kindergartners.
3. Three words: Black market Play-doh.
2. Handing teacher a dollar and asking her to "Walk nasty for the love master."
1. Bringing your divorced dad's rubber doll to school and introducing her as your mother.

  Top 10 signs the santa at the mall might not really be st. nick:
10. Sporting a stylish goatee.
9. Wants to know if you want to meet the little elf that lives in his pants.
8. Brags about how tasty Blitzen was.
7. "Santa's Lil Helper" turns out to be his parole officer.
6. He's wearing Dockers...
5. Belly shakes like a bowl full of KY jelly.
4. Tells kids cookies and milk are out, beer and pretzels are in.
3. "Beard" is actually made up of really long nose hair.
2. There are a lot more bugs in his suit than mentioned in any published account
1. When you sit on his lap, he starts to tell you what he wants for Christmas...

  Top 10 signs you are going to die a virgin:
10. When you "Slip into something more comfortable," it's usually sweatpants. um.
9. Friday night means AOL night!!! umm... ok so far this is not looking so good..
8. Mad rapist knocks you out of the way to get to Mother Theresa.
7. Prostitutes regularly pay you not to have sex with them.
6. You do not personally know Madonna.
5. Last diaphragm you bought was endorsed by Donna Summer.
4. People often say you bear a striking resemblance to Newt Gingrich.
3. Boyfriend dumped you for Chelsea Clinton.
2. Laid awake all last night, worried your name would show up on this list.
1. Often find yourself wondering, "Should there be cobwebs on my penis?"
remember i did not right #1 and ONLY 9 and 10 aplly to me

  Madonna's top 10 childcare tips:
10. Stop Crying! Spanking is supposed to be fun!
9. No sex after 8 p.m. on a school night
8. Thoroughly test both milk feeders before the baby is born.
7. Do not make your kids Bustier too tight.
6. Absolutely no tatoos before age 1.
5. Child-proof all your sex toys.
4. Tight, black latex diapers hold everything in.
3. To avoid confusing the child, limit boyfriends to 1 per day.
2. NEVER leave your child with a stranger (for example, it's father).
1. Always sterilize your nipples; God only knows where they've been!

  Top 10 ways to get thrown off the jury in OJ's civil trial:
10. Self-Graticification during cross examinations.
9. Wager on the outcome.
8. Dress like a Klingon
7. Keep asking whether Judge Judy would have done it that way.
6. Start "The Wave" when defendant gets on the stand.
5. Publish your book before trial is over.
4. Occasionally tap the guy next to you and point at OJ saying, "Hey, hey, isn't that the football guy
that killed his wife?"
3. Every five minutes, turn towards O.J. and chant, "We will, we will rock you!"
2. Bring "Nicole" and "Ron" Pez dispensers to the deliberation room.
1. Announce that OJ once killed you too.

  Top 15 things Mr. "You've got mail" likes to do on his days off:
15. Call people at random to announce, "You've got a phone."
14. Lead therapy group for other disembodied voices.
13. Have cybersex with Ms. "You've Been Idle Awhile, Do You Want to Get Off."
12. Follow customers around in the grocery store saying, "You've got lettuce," "You've got
mustard," ....
11. Teaches a "You've got mail" German class at the local community college.
10. Fool around with the wife of Mr. "File's Done."
9. Sing back-up for ZZ top.
8. Hang out in the Male4Mail Chat Room.
7. Leave "You've got lawsuits" messages on Steve Case's voice mail.
6. Figure out ways to talk faster so AOL customers will spend less time on line
5. Brush the tops of peoples shoulders and announce, "You've got dandruff!"
4. Sit in his underwear, drink beer and bemoan the fact his career is in the dumper.
3. Days off?! Days off?! Listen, if he's lucky, the poor guy can grab 15 seconds to splash some
water in his face and pop a lozenge in his blistered mouth. After that it's back to the ol' cubicle!
2. Rent all of Andie McDowell's movies, shoot a little heroin, abuse a hamster or two ... you know,
like everybody else.
1. Rehearse his line.

  Top 10 porno flicks based on 1996 movies:
10. Spanking 12 Monkeys
9. Jiggle All The Way
8. Cherry MaGuire
7. A Time to Drill
6. Tin Cups.
5. The Island Of Dr. Hooters
4. Missionary Impossible
3. Dante's Peaks
2. 101 Dominations
1. Dead Man Thrusting

  Top 10 rejected uses for flubber:
10. Padding on Ted Kennedy’s headboard.
9. Aid to correct the President’s crookedness.
8. Secret ingredient in Slim Jims.
7. Shoe insoles for white basketball players.
6. Understudy for Marlon Brando.
5. Contraceptive sponges.
4. The New and Improved ‘Baywatch.’
3. "Kick the Habit" teething ring for Marv Albert's therapy.
2. Hair gel for Pat Riley.
1. Prop in a crappy Disney movie.

  The top 7 names to name you're septuplets:
7.Doc
6.Sleepy
5.Happy
4.Bashful
3.Grumpy
2.Sneezy
1.Dopey.

  Fun things to do while driving...
1. Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.
2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to headbang.
3. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.
4. Two words: Chicken suit.
5. Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the
better.
6. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, whendriving alone.
7. Laugh a lot. A whole lot.
8. Stop at the green lights.
9. Go at the red ones.
10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to
make it dance.
11. Eat food that requires silverware.
12. Pass cars, then drive very slowly.
13. Sing without having the radio on.
14. Honk frequently without motivation.
15. Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an angry look and an obscene gesture.

Top 19 Ways to Annoy your Public Bathroom Stallmates:
1. Stick your palm under the stall next to you and say "May I bottow a highlighter?"
2. Say " Uh oh. I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."
3. Say "Hmm, I've never seen that color before."
4. Cheer and clap loudly when ever someone breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
5. Drop a marble and say, " Oh shit!! My glass eye!!"
6. Say, "Damn, This water is cold!"
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantelope into the toilet from a high
place. Sigh shortly after.
8. Say "How did that get there?"
9. Say "Humus, reminds me of humus."
10. Fill a LARGE flask with Moutain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls and say, "Whoa!!
Easy boy!!"
11. Say " Interesting...... more floaters than sinkers."
12. Using a small squeese tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and throw it under the
next stall. Say "Could you kick that back over here?"
13. Say "C'mon Mr. Winky! Don't fall asleep now!!"
14. Say "Boy, that shure looks like a maggot."
15. Say "Damn!! I knew that drain hole was way too small. Now what am I going to do?"
16. Play a drum solo on your butt cheekes.
17. Before you unrool the toilet paper lay down a copy of "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" so that the
stall next to yours can see it.
18. Lower a small mirror under the next stall and say, " Peek-A-Boo!"
19. Drop A D-Cup bra on the floor under the next stall and start singing "Born Free".

Top 17 Things You Should NEVER Say When Stopped by the Police!
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doing about 125 to keep up with me! Good job!
5. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a cop.
6. I was going to become a cop, but decided to finish high school.
7. I bet it feels good standing up and walking off those donuts, huh?
8. You're not going to check my trunk, are you?
9. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
10. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on COPS?
11. Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's night stand!
12. So, uh, are you on the take, or what?
13. Gee, Officer! That's terrific! The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
14. Do I know why you pulled me over? Why, don't you?
15. What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained expert!
16. Well, I couldn't have been doin' 80MPH, I ain't been out an hour.
17. Well, when I reached to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and became wedged between the gas pedal and the brake pedal, forcing me to speed.

Top 7 Things That REALLY Bother Me:
1. When something is "new and improved", which is it?
 If it's new, then there has never been anything before it.  If it's
 an improvement, then there must have been something wrong with it
 before.
2. People who are willing to get off their butts to search
 the room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV
 and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
 Get Real. What good is a lousy cake you can't eat?  What, should I
 eat someone else's cake instead?
4. When people say "It's always in the last place you look".  Of course
 it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it?  Do people do
 this?  Who and where are they?
5. When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No
 you idiot, I paid $8.50 to come to the theatre and stare at that thing
 over there.  What did you come here for?
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"  Didn't really give
 me a choice, did ya there buddy?
7. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.  I know
 where my watch is buddy, where is yours?  Do I point at my
 crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?

Top 68 Fun Things To do In Wal-Mart
 
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Football; see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Run up to an employee (preferrebly a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I need some tampons!!"
6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.
7. Try on bras over top of your clothes.
8. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms
9. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "sex and candy"
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi!  I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc.  See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this shit, anyway?"
15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.  
16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually. 17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow.  Magic!"
20. Put M&M's on layaway.  
21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.  
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.  
23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.  
24. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm    Batman.  Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"  
26. TP as much of the store as possible.  
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.  
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.  
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"  
30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"  
31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.  
32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.  
33. Take bets on the battle described above.  
34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)  
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.  
36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.  
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission:Impossible."  
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.  
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.  
40. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.  
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.  
42. Two words: "Marco Polo."  
43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc.
44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.  
45. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.  
46. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them  
47. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation.  Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me?  I thought you loved me!  I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won.  You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.  
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no!  It's those voices again!"  
49. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.  
50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax.  If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.  
51. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."  
52. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back.  Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.  
53. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.  
54. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away.  Continue to do this until they leave the department.  
55. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.  
56. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
57. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way.  "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)."  
58. Hold indoor shopping cart races.  
59. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.  
60.When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.  
61.Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
62.Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.  
63.Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.  
64. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"  
65. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"  
66. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a  "test drive."  
67. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.  
68. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it!

Top Signs You Live In The Year 2002 (as adapted from an E-Mail
1. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.
2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
3. You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat. He emails you back from his bedroom, "What's for dinner?"
4. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.
5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken with your next door neighbor this year.
6. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea.
7. Your grandmother asks you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.
8. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
9. Every commercial on television has a web-site address at the bottom of the screen.
10. You buy a computer and 6 months later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid.
11. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 years of your life, is cause for panic and turning around to go get it.
12. Using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase would be a hassle and take planning.
13. Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.
14. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
15. You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.
16. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.
17. Your idea of being organized is multiple-colored Post-it notes.
18. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.
19. You get an extra phone line (or a ADSL/cable modem) so you can get phone calls.
20. You disconnect from the Internet and get this awful feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
21. You get up in morning and go online before getting your coffee.
22. You wake up at 2 am to go to the bathroom and check your E-mail on your way back to bed.
23. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :-)
24. You're reading this.
25. Even worse; you're going to forward it to someone else.

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