WHiMS V: The Final Battle?
By Corporal Coral

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WHiMS IV: The Infected Home | WHiMS VI: The Undiscovered Hologrid

It's Disclaimers As Usual...

Dedicated to my computer, without whom this story would not have been written, and James Darren, for repeatedly singing "Here's To The Losers" whilst I wrote this story! I feel *so* appreciated!

Last time on WHiMS: The Infected Home:
"Tribbles! Multiple Michaels!"
"They invade our HQ, and we fall back. This far, and no further! No more! The line must be drawn here!"
"It wasn't the MiB, Pam! It was an army of holographic Michaels!"
"Katie, I am being advanced on by those holographic Michaels!"
"What is it?"
"They've been kidnapped!"
And now, the continuation...

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"They've been kidnapped!"
Coral and Charon stared at Katie in shocked disbelief. "Are you sure?" Charon asked. "Is it possible that someone's sending false readings?"
Katie shook her head. "I don't think they're false readings. They've been beamed off the Tomahawk to..." She looked back at the readout. "To the MiB headquarters."
"But the MiB's aren't involved, I thought we decided," Charon said.
"The MiB's place is one of the few places where Michael is safe, and could keep prisoners," Coral explained slowly. "But, if he *has* taken them back there... then, either the MiB's are involved, or they will be soon."
Charon put on a hopeful face. "Maybe they'll return them."
Corporal Coral drew herself up to her full, small height. "We can't take that chance. We have to rescue them."
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"...And so, we're here. We're going to have a full briefing on the situation and on all the intelligence we've gathered on the MiB's, and then we're off. Before we start, I'd like to welcome Jay, who's agreed to join us for the briefing, as her insights that she gathered during her captivity may be important. As usual, we are glad for her contribution of hobnobs and other supplies too."
The entire group cheered Jay, who blushed a little. "You're welcome, peeps. But I like this job... most of the time! After all, we can't let Michael get away with this, can we?"
There was a chorus of agreements, and then they got down to the business at hand.
Kim stood up and activated a small viewer. "I've put together a basic report on some of the MiB's, folks. We need to know what we're up against before we set out." She put up the first picture, which showed a blonde, smiling girl. "This is Puck. She likes Michael, and approves of him to a degree. She's a J/Cer, but she still likes Michael. She also likes Braga, so keep that in mind, okay?" She moved onto the next picture. "This is Shorty. She obviously likes Michael too, and has a dog that helps guard the MiB Headquarters. She also hangs around with Angel a lot, and the two have agreed to protect each other, another thing to keep in mind." The next picture appeared, showing a half-kazon girl. "This is Cullah-Jenna, who Jay claims is a scary character. She also has a dog, and likes Michael. She's willing to argue Michael's so-called 'good points' until she's blue in the face, so *don't* start any arguments if you can help it." The next picture came up, and it was someone whom most of them recognised. "This, as most of you know, is Hejira. She used to be a WHiMS, but defected a short while back, before Jay was kidnapped. Although Chakotay did a good job of sellotaping her mouth, she's probably blabbed a lot of secrets. Although she likes Michael, she's very on the fence. We may be able to sway her, or not. Either way, there's no guaranteeing her loyalties if she does."
Kim sat down and Jay stood up. "I've only got a couple of general comments to make. The MiB's are a resourceful bunch, and we'll have to keep on our toes. We need to be ready for anything and, to that effect, I brought along extra hobnobs and underwear launchers. Above all else, they want to keep Michael safe and protect him from us."
Jay sat down, and Katie took the 'stage'. "I've got us some basic access codes for the MiB HQ, plus I've upped our defences here. No one and no thing can get in now."
Charon took over. "The MiB HQ is heavily defended, I'm afraid. We'll need meat for the dogs, garlic and stakes for Angel. They've been known to recruit other characters as they see fit. Katie's codes will get us so far, but we'll need WHSmiths ClubCards and similar items to break through some of the doors, access panels, etc. This is going to be difficult work, but I know we'll do it!"
A cheer went up around the room at her words, and Jay started handing around hobnobs.
The door 'bell' went. "I'll get it!" Katie yelled, running out of the room.
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Dropping her bags on the doorstep, Jenn sighed heavily. She hadn't been able to get a taxi, and her legs were *so* tired that all she wanted to do was sit down for a minute. Wearily extending her arm, she rang the doorbell, and stood back to wait.
She didn't have to wait long. The door was opened, and a girl appeared.
"Jenn!" the girl squealed, launching herself into Jenn's arms and giving her a bear hug.
"Katie! Good to see you too!" Jenn said, her voice slightly muffled. "What's been happening?"
"Tribbles! You don't know, do you?! Pampers and Kate2 were kidnapped by Michael... actually, multiple Michaels... and we've got to rescue them because all the banners got messed-up!"
"Whoa! What say I come in, grab a hobnob, and you tell me what's happened this past week, and then we'll work out what we're doing next?"
Katie grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, hang on, pass that bag here... we're in the briefing room..."
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Corporal's Log. We've got problems. Private Pampers and Kate2, our newest member, have been kidnapped by multiple Michaels, a WHiMS nightmare. Katie has deduced that they're being held at the MiB HQ, so we're on our way now in the Tomahawk. After a great deal of argument, we've decided to operate as one team, and we've welcomed Jenn back after her holiday to Ireland where, thankfully, she met no Michael Sullivans."

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"I want to steer!" Kim pouted, trying to push Chakotay out of his chair.
"No, I'm at the helm!" Chakotay protested.
Corporal Coral's head flew up. "Chakotay, would you *please* come here. I need some help. I've never commanded a ship before, and frankly, your command record is better than your piloting one."
"We want to reach the MiB HQ in one piece," Katie commented from her station.
Chakotay scowled at her, but vacated the helm and went to sit next to Coral, who was shifting uncomfortably in the Captain's Chair. "Ugh, I can't do this. I'm not supposed to be in this chair!" the Corporal groused. "Let's just get there asap, okay Kim?"
"Aye Corp!" Kim teased, and sent the ship into warp nine.
Five seconds later, they were hovering above the MiB HQ, just out of sensor range, as carefully calculated by Jenna.
"To the transporter room!" Coral yelled, getting into the spirit of things and leading the charge.
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The WHiMS materialised, meat and Leola Root Compression Phaser Rifles in hand, in front of the large MiB Headquarters. Katie took a few cautious steps forward, but nothing happened.
"Shouldn't the dogs have come out by now?" Kim whispered anxiously to Jenn, nervously gripping her rifle.
"I don't know," Jenn shrugged. "Perhaps they're busy somewhere else," she added optimistically.
Charon whipped out her tricorder and scanned the area. "They're in the garden, just like last time," she said, looking confused as Coral leaned over her shoulders and let out a low whistle.
"They've really let security around here slip," she murmured. "It'll be a breeze getting in."
"It could be a trap," Chakotay observed.
Coral sucked on her thumb. "Hadn't thought of that. Proceed?"
"Proceed," Charon confirmed. "Whatever's going on, we've got to get Pampers and Kate2 out of there. We can't leave them in the MiB's hands."
Coral nodded. "You're right. We press on."
They crept stealthily up to the doors and easily gained access using Katie's codes. Once inside, Charon swept her tricorder around once more.
"I'm not reading Pamper's lifesigns," she reported calmly. "Or Kate2's for that matter. I am, however, reading Multiple Michaels, just down this corridor, and the MiB's just over there, down a corridor and down some stairs."
Jenn nodded. "Then we head for the Michaels? If he's responsible, he's the one we need."
Charon nodded. "That's what I would suggest."
"Okay then, Charon, you and Katie are the defence guard," the Corporal decided. "You stay behind us and watch our backs. Let's press on."
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Puck's eyes blazed. "We have an intruder alert! It's those WHiMS!"
Cullah-Jenna dashed over to the console. "What! I thought we signed a truce!"
"We did," Puck said coldly. "We should never have trusted them."
"We've gotta get Michael to safety!"
"You monitor them from here. The rest of us will get Michael to safety," Puck said, grabbing her Leola root gun and heading out the door.
Jenna turned back to her console as Puck disappeared, and punched a few buttons angrily. "How come I *always* get the boring assignments?" she grumbled to herself.
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The large doors in front of the WHiMS swept open, and they burst through, rifles aimed and ready to fire at any Michaels they saw. The room was large, but not too large. Three Michaels milled around, laughing and talking.
"Stay where you are!" Chakotay demanded, and the three holograms stopped. Chakotay suddenly let out a laugh, and ordered, "Computer, freeze all holographic programs in this room."
The Michaels froze.
The WHiMS laughed.
Pampers let out a muffled shriek.
Katie and Jenn dashed forward and started untying Pam and Kate2.
Suddenly, the doors opened once more, admitting the MiB's, who all brandished weapons.
"What are you doing here?" demanded Shorty. "We declared a truce!"
"Then how come Pampers and Kate2 were kidnapped and brought here!" Kim returned in a similar tone of voice. "And you sent Michael to trash our stuff!"
"No, we didn't!" Hejira said.
"That's funny," Katie smirked, "Because he used *your* access codes!"
"We didn't," Hejira repeated, slightly more quietly this time.
Pampers, finally free, stood up. "Look, girls, we made this truce in good faith. But THIS MEANS WAR!"
In moments, the girls - and Chakotay and Angel - were involved in a complete free-for-all.
"Pam to Tomahawk! Activate the secret weapon!"
"I love you, you love me, we're a happy family..." Barney's voice came over Pam's concealed commbadge. The WHiMS girls, inoculated against the insidious song, were fine, but the MiB's started clutching their ears.
"Computer!" Puck gasped out as Jenna ran in, unable to stay away any longer. "Communications shield!"
The song stopped, the transmission blocked by the shield that had just sprung up. Shorty started firing her underwear gun again, but Jay whipped out a superlarge stapler, and reversed it in mid-air.
"Girls! STOP! STOP, ALL OF YOU!"
Everyone in the room, with the exception of Chakotay and Angel, stopped immediately.
"You two stop as well!"
They did.
The girls turned to the door to see Qex, flagged by Nemesis and some of the other neutrals, anger on her face.
"What did I tell you girls about this truce?" she demanded icily.
"'It must not be broken...' but they started it!" the girls chorused as one.
Qex sighed. "Look, you can't *all* have started it. Let's hear your stories one at a time. Pampers, you first."
"Well, we'd just got a delivery from Jay, when we suddenly realised that no one was guarding the Anti-Michael Shrine Room. So we all went to look, and the entire room had been trashed. All the banners were pro-Michael and so on." She looked at the MiB's. "Now, at first we thought it was you, but Katie discovered it was Multiple Michaels, and then I was kidnapped by Michaels, along with Kate2."
"And you were brought here."
"Yes. Then the WHiMS turned up just now... and we all kinda got into a shouting match with the MiB's," Pampers admitted.
"Which descended into a fight."
"Uh, yes..."
Qex turned from Pampers and looked at Puck. "Care to tell your side? Did you send the Michaels?"
"Qex, all we were doing was talking and drinking coffee, when we got an intruder alert. We came here, and things got a little... out of hand, I suppose."
Qex surveyed the mess. "I'd say they did. I don't know what to do with you girls!"
"Wait a minute..." Hejira said. "How many Michaels did you say attacked you Pam?"
Pampers counted on her fingers. "I'd say at least twenty!"
"But we're only allowed to have four active at a time!" Puck exclaimed in surprise.
Coral stared at her. "You didn't send them?"
"We didn't know Pampers and Kate2 were even here!" Shorty retorted.
Nemesis looked anxious. "That means that someone else is pulling Michaels strings!" she concluded. "But the question is - who?"
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To Be Continued...

WHiMS IV: The Infected Home | WHiMS VI: The Undiscovered Hologrid